Chapter 14 Alex
ALEX
"Just one more round." Paige's words echo in my mind as we stumble out of the bar, her hand clutched tightly in mine. The cool night air hits my face, doing little to clear the fog of lust and confusion swirling in my brain.
She wants one more round. One more night of passion before we call it quits. Before we go back to being just co-workers, just two people who drive each other crazy in all the wrong ways.
But is that really what I want? Can I really walk away from this, from her, after tonight?
I glance down at Paige, her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright with alcohol and desire. She looks up at me, a small smile playing on her lips.
"Take me home, Alex," she whispers, her voice low and seductive.
I swallow hard, my resolve wavering. God, I want her. I want her more than I've ever wanted anyone in my life.
But I also want more than just one more night. I want a chance at something real, something lasting. I want to wake up next to her every morning and fall asleep with her in my arms every night.
I want everything she's too afraid to give me.
We reach my car, and I fumble with the keys, my hands shaking. Paige leans against the passenger door, watching me with hooded eyes.
"Having trouble there, Spencer?" she teases, her voice slurring slightly.
I shoot her a look, finally getting the door unlocked. "Just get in the car, Reynolds."
She giggles, sliding into the passenger seat. I take a deep breath, steeling myself, before rounding the car and getting behind the wheel.
The drive to her apartment is short, but it feels like an eternity. Paige's hand rests on my thigh, her fingers tracing maddening patterns that make it hard to focus on the road.
I try to distract myself, to think of anything but the heat of her touch and the promise of what's to come. My mind drifts to CupidCode, the secret project Paige's been working on. The one she matched with me before deciding it was a mistake.
I want to ask her about it, to understand what it means. But with the way she's looking at me, her eyes dark with desire, I know now's not the time.
We pull up to her building, and I cut the engine. Paige's out of the car in a flash, tugging me by the hand towards the entrance.
We stumble into the elevator, and as soon as the doors close, she's on me, her lips crashing against mine in a desperate, hungry kiss.
I respond instantly, my hands tangling in her hair as I press her against the wall. She moans into my mouth, her fingers working frantically at the buttons of my shirt.
The elevator dings, and we break apart, both of us breathing hard. Paige grabs my hand, pulling me down the hall towards her apartment.
She fumbles with her keys, cursing under her breath as she tries to unlock the door. I take the keys from her, my fingers brushing against hers as I do.
The door swings open, and we tumble inside, a tangle of limbs and gasping breaths. Byte meows in greeting, winding around our ankles.
Paige kicks off her shoes, pulling me towards the bedroom. I follow willingly, my heart pounding in my chest.
This is it. One more night. One more chance to show her how good we could be together.
But as we fall onto the bed, our clothes discarded in a trail behind us, I can't shake the feeling that this is a mistake. That we're barreling towards heartbreak, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
Paige's hands are everywhere, her touch setting my skin on fire. I lose myself in her, in the taste of her lips and the feel of her body pressed against mine.
But even as we move together, even as I chase my release, I feel a hollow ache in my chest. Because I know this isn't real. It's just a moment stolen out of time, a fleeting glimpse of what could be.
And in the morning, it will all be over.
We collapse onto the bed, both of us spent and panting. Paige curls into my side, her head resting on my chest.
I stroke her hair, my fingers tangling in the silky strands. I want to memorize this moment, to burn it into my mind. The feel of her skin against mine, the sound of her breathing, the way she fits so perfectly in my arms.
Because I know it's the last time I'll ever hold her like this.
"Paige," I whisper, my voice rough with emotion. "We need to talk."
She stiffens in my arms, her body going rigid. "Talk about what?"
I take a deep breath, steeling myself. "About us. About what this means."
She pulls away, sitting up and wrapping the sheet around herself. "It doesn't mean anything, Alex. It's just sex."
I feel like I've been punched in the gut. Just sex. Is that really all this is to her?
"Is that really what you think?" I ask, my voice tight. "That this is just physical?"
She won't meet my eyes, her gaze fixed on the wall. "Yes. No. I don't know."
I sit up, running a hand through my hair in frustration. "Paige, you can't keep doing this. You can't keep pushing me away and then pulling me back in. It's not fair."
She's silent for a long moment, her shoulders hunched. When she speaks, her voice is small and broken.
"I'm sorry, Alex. I never meant to hurt you."
I soften, my anger draining away. "I know, Paige. But you are hurting me. Every time you run away from this, from us, it feels like a knife in my heart."
She looks at me then, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I don't know how to do this, Alex. I don't know how to be with someone without fucking it up."
I reach for her, cupping her face in my hands. "Then let me show you. Let me be there for you, Paige. Let me love you."
She stares at me, her eyes wide and vulnerable. For a moment, I think she's going to say yes. That she's going to let me in, let me love her the way she deserves to be loved.
But then she's pulling away, shaking her head. "I can't, Alex. I'm sorry. I just can't."
She stands up, wrapping the sheet tighter around herself. "I think you should go."
I feel like I've been slapped. "Paige..."
"Please, Alex. Just go. This was a mistake. We never should have started this in the first place."
I stare at her, my heart shattering in my chest. She's really doing this. She's really ending things between us.
I stand up, grabbing my clothes off the floor. I dress quickly, my movements jerky and uncoordinated.
Paige watches me, her arms wrapped around herself. She looks small and lost, and it takes everything in me not to go to her, to gather her in my arms and never let go.
But I know she won't let me. She's made her choice, and as much as it kills me, I have to respect it.
I walk to the door, pausing with my hand on the knob. I turn back to look at her, drinking in the sight of her one last time.
"Goodbye, Paige," I say softly, my voice cracking on her name.
She doesn't say anything, just nods, a single tear slipping down her cheek.
I open the door and walk out, my heart shattering with every step. I make it to the elevator before I break down, slamming my fist against the wall in frustration and pain.
How did it come to this? How did I let myself fall so hard for a woman who will never let me in?
But even as I ask myself the question, I know the answer. I fell for Paige because she's unlike anyone I've ever met. She's brilliant and funny and infuriating in all the best ways. She challenges me, pushes me to be better, to want more out of life.
And now I've lost her. Before I ever really had her to begin with.
The elevator doors open, and I step inside, my heart heavy in my chest. I lean against the wall, closing my eyes against the sting of tears.
I know what I have to do. I have to end things with Paige, once and for all. I have to walk away before she destroys me completely.
But even as I make the decision, even as I resolve to put her behind me, I know it won't be that easy. Because Paige Reynolds has gotten under my skin, into my heart, in a way no one else ever has.
And letting her go might just be the hardest thing I've ever had to do.