Chapter 17 Paige
PAIGE
I can't stop thinking about what Alex said.
Am I really a robot? Have I let logic overrule my heart for so long that I've forgotten how to feel?
The thought sends a pang through my chest, and I rub at the ache, as if I can soothe it away with my fingers.
I'm sitting in my apartment, surrounded by empty takeout containers and discarded lines of code. Byte is curled up on my lap, his warm weight a comforting presence.
I've been throwing myself into work, into MindMeld and a dozen other projects, trying to distract myself from the gaping hole in my chest where Alex used to be.
But it's not working. No matter how many hours I put in, no matter how many bugs I squash or features I implement, I can't shake the feeling that something's missing.
That someone's missing.
I sigh, my fingers stilling on the keyboard. Who am I kidding? I know exactly who's missing.
Alex. With his stupid perfect hair and his stupid perfect smile and his stupid perfect way of getting under my skin.
I miss him. I miss his jokes and his puns and the way he challenges me, pushes me to be better. I miss the way he looks at me, like I'm the only person in the world that matters.
Like I'm not just a robot, but a real live girl with a heart that beats just for him.
I groan, dropping my head into my hands. When did I become such a sap? When did I start thinking in rom-com cliches and cheesy metaphors?
Probably around the same time I started falling for Alex Spencer.
The thought hits me like a ton of bricks, and I sit up straight, my heart pounding.
Holy shit. I'm in love with Alex.
The realization sends a thrill through me, followed quickly by a wave of panic. What do I do now? How do I fix this?
I bite my lip, my mind racing. I need to talk to him. I need to apologize, to tell him how I feel.
But what if he doesn't feel the same way anymore? What if I've ruined everything with my stupid, stubborn pride?
I shake my head, pushing the thought away. No. I can't think like that. I have to try.
I grab my laptop, pulling up CupidCode with shaking fingers. If there's one thing I trust, it's my code. My algorithms.
And right now, I need all the help I can get.
I input my data, my preferences, my quirks and foibles. I hit enter, holding my breath as the program whirs to life.
And then, there it is. My perfect match.
Alex Spencer.
I stare at the screen, my heart in my throat. It's not a fluke. It's not a mistake.
It's destiny.
I close my laptop with a snap, a grin spreading across my face. Screw fear. Screw pride.
I'm going to get my man.
I practically sprint to the office, my heart pounding in my chest. I rehearse what I'm going to say in my head, the words tumbling over each other in my eagerness.
Alex, I'm sorry. I was wrong. I'm not a robot, and neither are you. We're perfect for each other, and I'm not going to let my stubborn ass get in the way of that anymore.
I love you, you idiot. Now shut up and kiss me.
Okay, maybe not that last part. But the sentiment stands.
I burst into the office, my eyes scanning the cubicles for Alex's familiar mop of hair. But he's not at his desk.
Frowning, I head towards the conference room, thinking maybe he's in a meeting. But as I approach, I hear voices coming from inside.
One of them is Alex's. The other is...Hollis?
What the hell is that slimy bastard doing here?
I creep closer, my heart in my throat. And then I hear it.
"...CupidCode is going to be a game changer, Spencer. You made the right call, bringing it to me."
My blood runs cold. CupidCode? He sold CupidCode to Hollis?
"I don't know, man. It feels wrong, going behind Paige's back like this."
"Please. You said it yourself, she's never going to pitch it. She's too much of a pussy to take risks."
I feel like I'm going to be sick. Alex is selling me out. He's betraying me, after everything we've been through.
After I trusted him with my heart.
I burst into the room, my eyes blazing. "What the fuck is going on here?"
Alex jumps, his eyes wide with panic. "Paige! I can explain..."
"Explain what? How you're selling my code, my baby, to this snake?" I jab a finger at Hollis, my voice shaking with rage.
Hollis smirks, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "Easy there, Reynolds. We were just having a friendly chat."
"Bullshit." I turn to Alex, my heart breaking in my chest. "How could you do this to me? I trusted you."
Alex takes a step towards me, his face pleading. "Paige, please. I was just trying to help..."
"Help? By going behind my back? By betraying me?" I shake my head, tears stinging my eyes. "I can't believe I ever thought you cared about me."
"I do care about you!" Alex reaches for me, but I jerk away. "Paige, please. Just let me explain."
"There's nothing to explain." I take a deep breath, my voice hardening. "We're done, Alex. Whatever this was between us, it's over."
I turn on my heel, ignoring Alex's pleas for me to wait. I storm out of the office, my vision blurred with tears.
I can't believe I was so stupid. So naive. To think that Alex could ever love me, could ever see me as anything more than a stepping stone to his own success.
I was just a means to an end. A pawn in his game.
And now I've lost everything. My code, my pride, my heart.
I don't know how I make it home. The next thing I know, I'm collapsing on my couch, sobs wracking my body.
Byte jumps up beside me, meowing in concern. I pull him close, burying my face in his fur.
"Oh Byte," I choke out, my tears soaking his fur. "What am I going to do?"
He purrs, butting his head against my chin. As if to say, “I don’t know, but I’m here for you.”
I sniffle, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. He's right. I'm Paige fucking Reynolds. I don't need Alex Spencer or his stupid perfect face.
I need my best friend, a shit ton of sour gummy worms, and a marathon of the worst video games we can find.
I grab my phone, dialing Jamie's number with shaking fingers.
"Hey, Paige! What's up?"
I take a deep breath, my voice wobbling. "Jamie...I need you."
"I'll be right there."
True to her word, Jamie shows up at my door twenty minutes later, armed with a family size bag of sour gummy worms and a stack of truly terrible video games.
"Oh, honey." She takes one look at my tear-stained face and pulls me into a bone-crushing hug. "What happened?"
I bury my face in her shoulder, fresh sobs shaking my body. "Alex...he sold CupidCode to Hollis. He betrayed me, Jamie."
Jamie stiffens, her arms tightening around me. "That bastard. I'll kill him."
I let out a watery laugh, pulling back to look at her. "Get in line."
Jamie smiles, wiping a tear from my cheek. "Come on. Let's get you into some comfy clothes and break out the gummies. You can tell me everything."
And so I do. Over the next few hours, as we stuff our faces with sugar and scream at pixelated characters on the screen, I pour my heart out to Jamie.
I tell her about CupidCode, about how it matched me with Alex. About how I was too scared to admit my feelings, too stubborn to let him in.
About how I was going to tell him I loved him, only to find out he'd betrayed me in the worst way possible.
Jamie listens, her eyes soft with sympathy. She rubs my back when I start to cry again, hands me tissues and gummy worms in equal measure.
"I just don't understand," I hiccup, my head fuzzy from all the sugar and emotions. "How could he do this to me? I thought we had something special."
Jamie sighs, pausing the game to turn to me. "I don't know, Paige. Maybe he thought he was helping, in some twisted way."
I snort, wiping my nose on my sleeve. "Helping himself, more like."
Jamie nods, her jaw tight. "You're probably right. But hey, at least now you know his true colors."
I nod, my chest aching. "Yeah. I guess I dodged a bullet, huh?"
Jamie smiles, bumping her shoulder against mine. "Damn straight. You're too good for him, Paige. You deserve someone who appreciates how amazing you are, robot parts and all."
I laugh, the sound thin and watery. "I don't know about that. But thanks, Jamie. You're the best friend a girl could ask for."
Jamie grins, un-pausing the game. "Damn right I am. Now come on, let's kick some zombie ass."
We play until our eyes blur and our fingers cramp, until the sun starts to peek through the curtains and Byte starts yowling for his breakfast.
As Jamie packs up to leave, I pull her into a tight hug, my throat thick with emotion.
"Thanks for being here, Jamie. I don't know what I would do without you."
Jamie squeezes me back, her voice soft in my ear. "Anytime, Paige. That's what friends are for."
She pulls back, her eyes fierce. "And don't worry about Alex. We'll figure out a way to get CupidCode back. He's not going to get away with this."
I nod, my jaw set with determination. "Damn right he's not. I'm going to fight for what's mine, Jamie. Even if it means going up against Hollis and Titan."
Jamie grins, holding up her fist. "That's my girl. Give 'em hell, Reynolds."
I bump my fist against hers, a small smile tugging at my lips. "Oh, I will. They have no idea who they're messing with."
But even as I say the words, even as Jamie leaves and I crawl into bed, my mind whirring with plans and code, I can't shake the ache in my chest.
The ache that feels suspiciously like a broken heart.
I roll over, burying my face in my pillow. Byte curls up beside me, his purrs rumbling through my chest.
"Oh Byte," I whisper, my voice muffled by the pillow. "What am I going to do?"
But he just purrs louder, as if to say, "You'll figure it out. You always do."
I close my eyes, a single tear rolling down my cheek.
I hope he's right. Because right now, I feel like I've lost everything.
My code, my pride, my heart.
And I don't know if I'll ever get them back.