Chapter 20 #2
She let out a low hum of satisfaction, and he wondered if she was experiencing the same relief he was.
She slid her tongue into his mouth, and he welcomed it eagerly.
He cupped her ass, lifting her off the ground before she squeezed her legs around him with a delicious pressure that had him feeling feral.
Even if Alma was coming back tonight, she’d surely be gone for hours, and Rafael could finally have Grace all to himself again.
Neither of them must have heard the front door opening or the clacking of footsteps in the entryway.
Neither of them must have noticed the loud gasp or the sound of keys hitting the floor.
He was so focused on Grace; someone might have waltzed right in and robbed the whole place without him realizing it.
The only thing that finally managed to pull his attention away from the woman in his arms was the sound of his sister’s voice echoing through the room.
“What the fuck?”
He and Grace both froze, their lips still pressed together. As if in slow motion, they turned their heads toward Alma. “Mierda,” Rafael huffed.
Slowly, Grace unwrapped her legs from around his body and slid her feet to the floor as he gently released her from his grasp.
Alma’s voice grew louder. “Can someone please explain what is happening right now? Gracie, we literally just talked about this. I don’t understand.”
“I—um,” Grace stuttered. “We’ve been planning to tell you, but you don’t need to worry, I swear. It’s not a big deal.”
Rafael stiffened beside her, but he didn’t contradict her. He supposed he should allow her to handle this however she wanted.
“But you said…” Alma stared at Grace in disbelief.
“You told me there was nothing happening. How long has this been going on?” Alma asked, glancing between them.
“Did you just start having sex as soon as you moved in?” Alma walked toward them, her boots so hard on the wood Rafael didn’t know how he’d missed the sound earlier.
She turned to look at him, her face etched with disappointment.
“You knew she was vulnerable, Rafa. You knew what she’d been through. ”
“Don’t put that on him,” Grace said. “I promise he didn’t take advantage of me. I’m okay.”
Rafael swallowed and interjected to respond to Alma’s initial question.
“It started the night before you came here, the night before you and Obinna started fighting. It started before that for me, but that was…” He glanced at Grace, trying to catch her eye, but she was focused on Alma.
“It was the first time…” He couldn’t seem to force out another word.
“Seriously?” Alma exhaled.
“We were going to tell you,” Grace said again, still not looking in Raf’s direction.
“We wanted to tell you, but it was happening right at the same time as everything else, and you were going through so much.” She took a few rushed steps toward Alma, her voice full of remorse.
“I didn’t want to spring this on you. And it’s nothing to worry about, seriously. We were just having fun.”
Rafael frowned. Once again, he really wished they would have had that conversation about what all of this meant.
Was Grace telling the truth? Earlier she’d said she wanted to really know him, and he’d been sure she didn’t just mean sex.
He’d held her when she cried. They’d talked about things—not just Picasso.
Her grandmother, his father. He’d made her laugh.
It had to be more than just having fun, but it wasn’t exactly something they could analyze while Alma was standing there waiting for a thorough explanation that he didn’t seem to have.
“Grace…” Alma looked at her friend with such care and sympathy, Rafael wondered what he could have done to elicit this level of concern.
“After everything you’ve been through this year, I just want you to be happy.
I don’t want you to get hurt again, and I’m just afraid that’s exactly what will happen.
I know Rafael is fun and charming.” She glanced over at him with a sad smile.
“But I know you, Gracie. I know how you can’t help caring.
” She put a hand on Grace’s arm. “And he’s my brother.
That’s why I tried to prevent this when we talked before.
I don’t want it to complicate things between us. Between any of us.”
They had talked about this? Rafael looked toward Grace, just starting to understand there was an element of this conversation that had never included him.
“Look,” Grace said, surprisingly calm. “I know you’re worried about me.
I know you have good reasons to be concerned.
You’ve had to witness every moment of my breakdown this year.
But Raf and I are adults, and this just happened.
We should have told you, and I was planning to.
Really, Alma, I wanted to talk to you about it right away, but I knew how much you were hurting, and I didn’t want to add this to everything you were going through.
For once, I don’t want you to focus all of your energy on taking care of me, especially when you’re trying to work things out with Obinna.
I’m fine. I promise. And I promise nothing will happen that will mess up your relationship with me or Raf. ”
“Do you not remember what it was like, Gracie?” Alma asked, her voice so quiet and sad. “How much you were hurting? You can’t handle it.” Alma shook her head, her grip tightening on her friend.
Rafael could see the sheen of tears in Grace’s eyes, and he wanted to reach for her, to hold her again, even if Alma might not have appreciated such a gesture. He refrained, though. He didn’t move. He didn’t even know if that’s what Grace wanted, anyway, if they were just having fun.
“I know how bad it was,” Grace said, deflated. “You think I don’t? I know how much you cared for me, how much you’ve done for me. But this is the first thing in a long time that’s made me feel normal.”
“With my brother, though? Did you have to have a secret fling with him?”
Rafael felt the sting of the comment, but he didn’t react.
He knew who he’d been in the past—nonchalant in his relationships, sometimes even cold.
He knew Alma had no reason to suspect how much he cared for Grace, that this was something entirely different, but her lack of trust cut him, all the same.
Grace looked as if Alma had slapped her across the face. She retreated slightly, backing
against the wall.
“Alma,” Rafael said sharply.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I just meant…”
“I’m sorry,” Grace said. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, and it wasn’t supposed to be a secret. We barely even—”
“Stop.” Rafael finally broke in. He didn’t want to hear that.
He didn’t want her to be sorry. He didn’t want her to think it was a mistake.
It wasn’t a fucking mistake. “I didn’t mean for it to happen either.
I tried so hard not to do it. I tried to stop thinking about her every second, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t get enough of her. And it’s not just fun for me.
I—” He turned to Grace and met her eyes.
“I know we haven’t talked about all of this yet, but I want to be with you, Graciela. ”
Alma and Grace both turned and stared at him, both wide-eyed.
“Rafael—” his sister started.
“I’m serious. I’m sorry to say it like this, but if we’re going to be honest about everything, then I guess I should be honest about that.”
“You’ve never been with anyone like that.” Alma’s mouth turned down in a pout. “Maybe you do have feelings for her, but are you really ready for a relationship? She’s been wracked with grief, Rafa. Are you willing to take that on and promise you won’t cause her more pain?”
Rafael balled his hands into fists. To some degree, Alma was giving voice to his fears.
He hadn’t ever cared for anyone like this before, and he wasn’t sure if he knew how to do it, but his defensive response hijacked all other trains of thought.
“You’re not her babysitter, Alma. She’s not a child. ”
“Would you both stop talking about me like I don’t have a say in this?
” Grace said, her eyes gleaming with tears.
“I know what you’ve done for me, Alma. I’d be completely lost without you.
I honestly don’t know how I would have survived this year if I didn’t have you.
But I can make my own choices, even if you don’t agree with them.
Maybe you had to pick up the pieces last time, but I think I’m a little stronger now, and I meant it when I told you not to worry. I’ll be okay.”
Rafael watched Grace, trying to interpret what she was saying. Did this mean she was choosing him? That she was all in? Did she mean this thing between them was real, and she was willing to go for it?
“I need to go talk to Obinna,” Alma resolved. “So maybe you guys should work some shit out between you, and we can discuss this when I get back.”
“I don’t think we need to ask your permission,” Rafael said.
“Stop,” Grace said, clearly exasperated. “I do want her permission. Or her blessing at least.”
“My blessing for what exactly?” Alma asked, searching her friend’s face. “What is this to you, Gracie? You’re the one who said it wasn’t a big deal.”
Grace’s eyes went from Alma to Rafael, settling on him for a long moment. He didn’t think he took a breath the whole time.
“I guess that’s something we’ll have to talk about while you’re gone,” she admitted. “I’m sorry again, Alma. I—I didn’t want it to happen like this.”
Rafael unclenched his fists. His palms were sweating as he took in Grace’s words. It wasn’t exactly a resounding declaration. Just something to figure out.
Alma nodded. “Look, I had to come back for my toothbrush,” she said, moving toward the bathroom. “Just in case. I might not be back until tomorrow, and then we can talk again.”
Rafael watched Grace swallow. “I hope it goes well with Obinna,” she called out. “I think he really loves you.”
Alma looked back at her friend before sparing Rafael one last glance as well.
He felt something in his insides twist. Alma teased him often enough, but rarely was she actually mad at him.
He knew how deeply she cared about Grace.
She would do anything to make her friend happy, and Rafael didn’t want to be in the middle of that.
Perhaps he hadn’t given as much thought as he should have to their friendship.
He didn’t want to come between them, but he also didn’t think he could.
Whatever happened, he knew the two of them would work out anything.
“I’m sorry, Alma,” he said. “I know you just want to protect her.”
She nodded, acknowledging his attempt to understand her point of view. “We’ll talk more later, si?” She sighed before she left the apartment again.
Rafael blew out a breath and turned toward Grace. “Is that how you saw that going?” he attempted to ask playfully, trying to lighten the mood.
Grace’s face was pale and unsmiling. She shook her head. “Not exactly what I was imagining.”
“What did you imagine, Grace?” Rafael asked.
“I need a glass of water,” she replied, brushing past him. “Or maybe a glass of wine.”