17. Ben
ben
I wake up alone on the couch. Well, I guess that’s not entirely true.
Buffy has curled her tiny body on the couch by my hips.
Buffy must have taken Emily’s place when she left this morning while I was pretending to still be asleep as she made her escape.
She left behind her lingering scent of jasmine and vanilla in her wake.
Emily fell asleep on my shoulder last night when we were about halfway through Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
It’s not the most exciting of all the Marvel movies, so I don’t blame Emily for falling asleep.
I didn’t have it in me to move her off of me, so I tried to lay her down on the couch.
I grabbed the blanket and covered our bodies with it, creating a cocoon of warmth.
I try not to examine how I ended up just holding her against my body as I watched the rest of the movie. When the movie was over, I shut off the TV and just lay there with her in my arms. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I woke up to Emily trying to make a quiet escape.
I’ve always had a tough time connecting with people, but Emily makes it seem so easy.
Hell, I was with Melissa for nearly a decade, and we never knew what the other was thinking.
She expected me to always read her mind and would get angry or upset at me when I couldn’t.
Unfortunately, we spent most of our relationship fighting.
I should have left her years ago, but I stayed out of sheer stubbornness and a false sense of loyalty.
I felt I owed it to her to make our relationship work.
It wasn’t easy walking away from my failed relationship, but we didn’t make each other happy.
Maybe we were happy together at one point, but that was so long ago that I can’t even remember what it was like.
Emily, however, was like an open book. I could read her thoughts on her expressive face, though she likes to think she’s good at hiding her emotions.
I love that she says what’s on her mind instead of hiding her true feelings.
In our short time together, we’ve had simple conversations and even debated current events.
She scratches the part of my brain that craves intellectual stimulation. When Melissa and I were together, we mostly talked about work since we work for the same company and the latest gossip. I ended up tuning her out most of the time, which would always result in another fight.
Stretching, I finally get up and make my way to the bathroom. Emily’s bedroom door is closed. I would love nothing more than to climb into her bed, pull her close to me, and have her tangle her legs within mine again.
But who am I kidding? We both just got out of long-term relationships. Neither of us is ready to jump into another one.
When I finally broke things off with Melissa, I knew I was done with relationships for a while. I was an idiot to think that proposing to Melissa would magically fix all our problems. If anything, it seemed to amplify our stark differences.
After finally admitting to myself that our relationship was over, I made a call to Jason, who had seen it coming from miles away.
He let me move into his house while I figured out the next step.
That was months ago, and I ended up staying with Jason and Amanda far longer than I expected.
Work got busy, and I got used to having my best friend around.
It helped ease the sting of my failed relationship.
When Emily approached me at Sasha’s birthday party, I was shocked at first. I’ve always noticed Emily whenever she came around but never had time to get to know her.
Melissa always seemed to hate her, so I attempted to avoid any one-on-one interaction with Emily.
I barely gave it much thought when Emily asked me to be her roommate.
It solved both of our problems. Plus, I could tell that Amanda was ready for me to get out of their space so that they could start baby preparations.
I thought it would be easy to keep things strictly platonic, but I’m finding that the more time we spend together, the harder it is for me to resist the urge to kiss her.
Sending her Valentine’s Day flowers was probably a mistake, but I didn’t want her to feel alone.
I do not know what her douchebag ex-boyfriend did for the holiday, but her reaction to the flowers makes me think he didn’t bother to do anything at all.
I’m so angry about how Logan treated Emily that I’m considering committing a felony.
Just once, I’d like to punch that smug bastard.
I make my way to my bedroom and turn around to shut my door, which faces Emily’s door. After one last glance at her bedroom door, I finally shut mine and climb into bed.
Guess we’re both in for a lazy Sunday.