34. Emily
emily
B ased on my missed period, the doctor had estimated that I was about seven weeks pregnant when I called them the following day.
It was too soon for them to see me, so they had me make an appointment at the nine-week mark.
Between then and now, I’ve taken several more tests which showed the same results.
I guess I won’t really believe it’s happening until I hear that heartbeat or see the little bean on the ultrasound.
I told Ben when my appointment was, and since it was during the work week, I didn’t expect him to come, but he shocked me and took the day off so he could be at my side.
He must have seen the shock on my face when he told me he was coming with me.
He kissed me on my forehead and said sweetly, “We’re in this together, tiger. ”
While a part of me knew it wasn’t like Ben to let me handle things on my own, another more jaded part of me expected to only rely on myself to get through this life-changing moment. The thought of never being alone again brings tears to my eyes. My pregnancy hormones are making me emotional.
That’s how I ended up in my obstetrician’s office, wearing only a flimsy gown I’d been told to put on like a bathrobe.
The table is cold underneath me as we wait for the ultrasound technician to return.
Ben’s sitting in the chair next to me, lending me his quiet strength as we wait anxiously.
I know he’s nervous by the bouncing of his knee.
A knock precedes the entry of an older woman who introduces herself as the technician. She goes over the procedure so we know what to expect. She instructs me to lie back as she turns on her machine and dons a pair of medical gloves.
“Sorry, this may feel cold.” I try not to flinch at the coolness, and the next thing I know, she’s placing the wand over the goo. After a few sweeps, she finds what she’s looking for; then, with some clicking of the buttons on the ultrasound machine, the rapid rhythm of a heartbeat floods the room.
Ben’s hand clenches in mine as we stare at each other in awe.
Tears well up in his eyes as we listen to the sound of the baby’s heartbeat fill the room—our baby.
I smile at him, and he places a chaste kiss on my lips.
The ultrasound technician takes a few pictures and prints out a handful for us.
She informs us that the doctor will have to go over the results with us as she cleans up her mess.
“Congratulations!” she shouts before waltzing out the door.
The doctor comes in shortly after. She’s in her mid-fifties and has a warm smile on her face.
As she sits down on her stool, she introduces herself and informs us I’m measuring to be about nine weeks along.
The estimated due date would be around the end of February.
She explains that she’ll be ordering some bloodwork, and then she’s gone before I can even think of questions to ask her.
Ben helps me get dressed, and we walk out hand in hand to the receptionist to book my next appointment. It isn’t until we’re both in the car that we turn to look at each other and hug.
“We’re having a baby!” Ben cups my face with his warm palm and stares at me with so much warmth and affection in his eyes it makes my heart hurt.
“We’re having a baby,” he echoes, then kisses me gently.
We make love later that night. Our movements, which are usually frantic and desperate, with both of us eager to touch one another, are slower and more reverent tonight as if we have all the time in the world.
It feels like he’s worshipping my body and the miracle we made together.
If I had any more doubts about how Ben feels about this unexpected pregnancy, he washes away my worries with each caress of his gentle hands and the soft kisses he showers me with.