Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Renata
All around us, there was a chorus of gasps and murmured words.
“What did he just say?”
“Oh. My. Word.”
“I think he needs some rest. He’s delirious. Got to be.”
“I knew it.”
If I weren’t about to pass out from shock, it would’ve been almost comical. Yet all their voices and whispers of concern and confusion blended into the background. It was swallowed up by the sound of a TV playing somewhere in the distance and other people crying over their own family members.
“Mike?” That was the extent of what I could say. He had pulled back from our powerful embrace and was still holding my hands, the only thing grounding me, keeping me upright.
“I, I know it’s crazy.” He pushed his shoulder up to catch the tears that were still making a path down his worn face.
I huffed and shook my head. “Just a little,” I whispered, looking as intently into his eyes as I could, trying to understand. He smelled like salt air and sun-warmed cedar, and I wondered if he had been working on a piece in his workshop before getting the call.
He licked his lips, his voice low and unsteady.
“I promised her. While sitting there with her. Promised that I would give her the only thing she’s ever asked of me.
If,” his voice broke at the word and I held his hands tighter, “If she makes it through this, I want to give her this request. I have to. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t. ”
I shook my head and said, “Mike, marriage isn’t the same as giving her something tangible. This is your life. My life. We don’t know each other very well. How could this possibly work?” My breathing had sped up, and I could feel the tension from my shoulders to my jaw.
His gaze pierced into my soul, making his next words target a place deep inside me.
“You say that as if there’s anyone else I’d ask this of.
You’re the only one, Ren. The only one I would want by my side.
I know you feel this. I know you do. Maybe not love yet, but there’s something here.
A beginning, a start to something special between us.
There’s a friendship building that feels significant, easy, right, instant.
A bond that’s been so unexpected, it’s taken my breath away. ”
I bit my bottom lip, attempting to find the words, but he continued, his words flustering me and calming me at the same time.
“You have to know. On my end, truthfully, there’s more than just friendship. I haven’t been shy about showing you my attraction, my admiration. Tell me if I’m crazy.”
He gently pulled me a step closer, leaning down and said, “You do feel it, right? The easy way we have with each other. The way the rest of the world melts away when we’re together. Just like here, in this moment.” He shook his head. “No one else exists when we’re near each other.”
Oh my. This man had the ability to look into my heart and see things no other man ever had.
The fact that I was here in this room was proof that he had come to mean something to me in such a short time.
Exactly what I still didn’t know. There was no denying how close we’d gotten so quickly, how much fun we had, and how in tune we seemed to be with one another, but what he was suggesting was crazy.
I took a step back, trying to understand.
“Mike, I, I can’t deny that I feel something. It’s taken me by surprise, too, and I have no idea what to do with it. Honestly, the need to be here tonight, to know that you were okay, is crazy. I just had to come. But marriage?”
“It’s a leap of faith, I know that. And it’s not just because of Grammy. The thought of you leaving and going back to Italy.” He shook his head. “I don’t think I could take it, Ren. I can’t lose you, too.”
He whispered the last sentence, and I closed my eyes, trying to figure out what to say, what to do.
His words, his touch, were doing things to me I’d never experienced.
When Mike was near, my deep loneliness lifted, replaced by joy and lightness, a sense of belonging that I hadn’t begun to comprehend.
“I feel it, Mike. I do feel it. But—” I whispered, searching his eyes.
The entire waiting room had gone silent. Not one word was spoken. Not a sound was made, as if the world had paused on its axis, holding its breath as it witnessed this scene.
He let go of my hands and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me a few inches closer, closing the gap I’d just created. His hold was light enough that I could walk away if I wanted, but tight enough that I felt his strength.
Somehow, I needed it. His gentle but firm touch made me relax, my breathing slowing back to normal. I couldn’t understand the effect he had on me. The same peace I’d just prayed over him, now blanketed me as I blinked up at him.
I could hear my mother’s voice telling me not to let a man have that kind of effect on me, to not rely on him for these things. But what Mike was doing was asserting his strength and offering it to me with his gentle and firm touch.
And what shocked me the most was how strong it made me feel. I’d never experienced anything like this with a man.
“Ren, I don’t have much to offer you. God knows I am not perfect.
But you want to be here in San Diego. Don’t you see?
I think God is at work here. And the friendship we feel so easily and so strongly is a foundation some couples don’t have, even if they’ve known each other for years.
Our faith binds us in a way that will help us overcome anything. Together. Slowly, day by day.”
He pulled me closer, his breath fanning over my face as we were inches from each other.
“You said your dream is to have your own business and that San Diego feels like home. You’ve told me how lonely your life feels in Tuscany.
Vicky is here. This crazy group of people standing here gawking at us is here.
” He swallowed and lowered his voice. “I’m here. ”
My eyes pricked with tears again as I tried to grasp what was happening.
“But Mike, we’re not in love. I mean, I’m not asking for my husband to be a knight in shining armor, but in the least, I expect us to be in love,” I said, breathlessly.
I had no idea what I was saying because that was the kind of relationship I knew I’d never have. And yet my heart longed for it somehow.
He didn’t speak for so long, I was sure he would let me go both physically and emotionally, and suddenly I didn’t want him to do either one of those things. The thought of Mike walking away from me made me feel empty and restless.
Then he spoke words that until my dying breath, I’ll never forget. They were from one of my favorite chapters in the whole Bible.
“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is long suffering. It holds no grudges, is not boastful. It always trusts, always hopes. Renata, love comes in all forms. And for the first time in so long, I have hope that God can create beauty from the ashes of my life. Listen, I believe we have more than enough of a foundation to stand on, and then we can let God, the author of love, do what He does best.”
“What is that?” I asked, desperate for his answer, my heart beating in my ears so loudly I was afraid to miss what he was saying.
“Miracles.” His whisper sent chills down my spine.
I felt a strong presence swirling around us like a tornado, stirring up unfamiliar feelings. Hope. Love. Joy. It was as if everything in my life had built up to this moment. This life-altering moment.
Mike was standing in front of me with a look so sincere, so pure.
In my mind’s eye, I saw what I’d be leaving behind: lonely nights watching cable TV, long days working for a man who never saw my worth, the coldness of my parents' home where no love was shown, only bitter words of warning against exactly what Mike was offering me.
But he was offering me friendship, partnership, respect, and laughter. And eventually love.
As tears tracked down my face, God’s peace settled over me, deeper than moments before.
He was looking at me with such hope and expectancy. The whole world seemed to be holding its breath.
All I could think about was the moment Grammy showed me her ring and said it was for the woman he would marry. The picture I’d conjured up in that moment of him down on one knee, smiling and proposing to another woman, flashed back through my swirling mind.
I inhaled deeply, trying to sort through my warring thoughts. But the visceral pain I’d felt at the thought of him doing that had my heart pounding loudly and my hands trembling. The moment swelled into a loud crescendo in my mind, leaving me to whisper the word I never expected to say.
“Yes.”
The collective gasp from the people in the waiting room when I gave Mike my answer made us both startle out of the moment we had been in. I was pretty sure the other people we didn’t know were part of that gasp.
“Yes?” he breathed out, searching my eyes for confirmation, a lone tear tracking down his face. I reached out and wiped it away. For the first time since he walked into the room, his usual joy had returned, his eyes bright, his smile wide.
“Yes.” I nodded and smiled, sniffling as I teared up again.
He pulled me back into his strong chest, and I realized that this was what I was saying yes to.
His strength. His friendship. His offer to walk beside and make my dreams come true.
To give his beloved grandmother something so precious.
To see what God could do with this unusual offering we were giving to Him. And the hope of love.
“Y-you’ve made me very happy, Ren. You’re such a gift to me.
God has helped me see that. I promise to do everything possible to make you happy.
To cheer you on as you pursue your dreams. I know the marriage part is unconventional and sudden, but we will figure it out,” he said into my hair before pulling back to look at me.
“You mean ancient and outdated? Should you bring my family a cow, and I’ll gather my dowry?” I’d asked, hoping to help lessen the heaviness of the moment.
He shook his head. “No need. All I need is for you to have an open heart.”
“Mike, so what does this mean? How is this going to work?” I asked, my eyes scanning his. I knew a deeper conversation was needed, but for now, I needed some clarification.
His face became serious again. “Ren, I’m saying let’s get married. For real. Forever. And soon.”
My eyes went as wide as saucers. I feared for the state of my own heart at that point. My cheeks must’ve looked like a cherry from the heat I felt.
“Soon.” I parroted.
He nodded. “Theoretically, I know it’s too soon.”
I chuckled lightly. “Always the Data Boy, huh? Yes, in theory, love takes longer. Marriage certainly does.”
“Yes, but I want Grammy to be there, and I’ve made up my mind, Ren.
It’s you I want. But once we are married, we would take our time, go slow.
Get to know one another. Like I said, build on this connection we both feel.
I wouldn’t expect things to be, you know, like a real married couple right away. ”
My eyebrows raised, and I tried not to blush.
His smile turned adorably shy, and my heart twisted and turned inside me. “Let’s just say I want to marry you so I can finally ask you out on a date.” His chuckle was so sweet that I ached. How did he know my favorite line from the movie The Proposal?
“Oh.” I had no other words, but some strange joy sparked inside my chest. Were these the sparks I’d always wanted?
“We can talk more about this somewhere more private, okay?”
I nodded, not trusting my voice. My blush deepened, and I had to put my hands over my face to cover it. I saw a glimpse of the Mike I’d seen a few days ago. The gleam in his eyes, the upturn of his lips. It gave me confidence that we were doing the right thing.
“Listen, I’m going to check with her nurses again. See when I can go back. I know we have a lot to talk about, Ren, and we will.” He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead before pulling back and looking at me, seeming to struggle with whether to stay or go.
“Go. She needs you,” I said, helping him make the decision.
He nodded, then looked around at the still startled faces of his friends. Niko walked up to him, his face contemplative.
“Mike, um, congratulations?” Niko offered, his face unsure of what to say.
Mike hugged his friend, who whispered something in his ear that I didn’t hear. He took one last look at me and walked out of the room, leaving me with his friends, who turned towards me in a synchronized movement.
I waved and smiled sheepishly.
“Well, game night just got more interesting,” Luke mumbled with a smirk.