Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Mike
Exiting the hospital elevator, Ren and I turned the corner that led to the ICU.
She hadn’t said much after the call with her parents, but we’d left for the hospital right after.
Assuring me she was fine, I didn’t ask any more, but watching her hands open and close into fists as I drove told another story.
“Grammy has probably been holding court from her bed, if I had to guess,” I said, trying to make her engage.
She laughed and shook her head. “So her mafia reign isn’t limited to her facility, then.”
“She has far-reaching influence.”
I stepped closer to her to make room for an orderly pushing a man in a wheelchair, and my hand brushed hers.
She looked down but said nothing, so I didn’t move back over, causing the backs of our hands to touch as we walked.
It was ridiculous how I’d morphed back into a twelve-year-old, excited at the thought of holding a girl’s hand.
“They’ll probably only let one of us go in at a time,” I said when we reached the ICU doors.
“You go first, and if she’s too tired for me to come in afterward, just give her my love,” Ren said, looking up at me with those doe eyes.
“If she’s stronger today, I think we should tell her.
You know, about the wedding,” I said, watching her reaction closely.
She wore a dark wash jean paired with a bright yellow shirt that wrapped around her middle and tied in the front.
I couldn’t help thinking how it matched her perfectly.
Every time I’d seen Ren, she’d been dressed fashionably, even if it were just a pair of jeans.
“I’ll leave that up to you, Mike. You know her best.”
“I won’t ask if you’re alright again, since you’ve told me twice that you are. Just know that if you need to talk about your parents or anything else, I’m here.”
She laid her hand over my heart, and I feared she’d feel how erratically it was beating.
“I know. When you told my parents that you wanted to give me a safe place to be myself,” she said, scanning my eyes as if searching for the words, “it touched me deeply. Thank you for that. I’ve had to rely on myself for so many years.
I think you’re going to have to help me let go of some of the reins a little. Just be patient with me.”
Before I could respond, her long fingers slowly lifted and brushed my unruly waves away from my forehead. I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to beat any faster, but her gesture proved otherwise.
“Sorry,” she whispered. “I’ve wanted to do that from the day you picked me up at the airport.” Her blush was adorable.
I looked up as she brushed it again, trying to get it to stay in place.
“It has a mind of its own,” I answered, my throat tightening.
Because she had gone up on her toes to reach it, all I had to do was lean down a few inches, and I could finally kiss her like I’d been imagining since I saw her in the airport, but the hospital was not the right place for something so special.
I cleared my throat as her heels touched the ground again. “I, uh, I guess I’ll go in and see her now.”
“Yes, of course.” She took a step back and headed for the waiting room.
Get it together. Don’t spook her, man.
When I passed the nurses’ station, they smiled as I waved, hoping that meant Grammy was having a good day.
Sliding the glass door open, she turned away from the TV and grinned. She had been watching her beloved game shows, and the familiarity gave me some peace.
“Mikey. Did you bring me some of those tacos I love? The food here is worse than Gemma’s cooking,” she said, looking at my hands for contraband.
“Are you trying to get me kicked out of here, Grammy? No tacos for you unless I make them myself so I can control the salt. And don’t even think of asking the Granny Squad either.” She rolled her eyes as I took a seat next to her.
“Who brought you ice cream when your parents weren’t looking when you sprained your ankle in fourth grade?” she asked, glaring at me. “And as far as the squad goes, I told those old coots not to dare come here with their shenanigans. Bad enough they call and text me all day and night.”
“You know you miss them. And just so you know, ice cream wasn’t going to make my arteries clog, and my pressure rise. You had a heart attack, not a stubbed toe, woman,” I teased. Her bedazzled cane leaned against the small table next to her bed, and I had no doubt she’d use it on me if needed.
She scoffed and pretended to watch Wheel of Fortune. “Where’s Renata?” she asked, her silent treatment lasting all of twenty seconds.
“Waiting room. They won’t let more than one person in at a time. What’s the doctor saying today?” I held her hand, forcing her to look at me.
“Just that my vitals all looked good. The new medication will take a few weeks to work, but for now, all is normal. He thinks I can leave in three days, maybe, since Willowgrove has a nursing staff.” Her color had returned, but I could see how tired she still was by the way her eyes struggled to stay open.
“Good. So, I have some news for you.” She turned to face me, a grin on her face.
I squinted at her. “What’s that look for?”
“First, tell me your news.”
“Okay. Well, things with Ren and me have…progressed, I guess you’d say.” She pursed her lips and nodded. “I, ah, I asked her to marry me, and she said yes.” Just repeating those words made me smile.
Grammy’s eyes brimmed with tears, a wide smile on her face. I stood suddenly, pushing the awful plastic chair away with a screech.
“Hey, why are you crying?” I asked, wondering if I’d done the wrong thing.
She sniffed and gestured for me to sit down. I grabbed a few tissues I found near her bed, then picked up the chair and scooted it close to her bed again. If this upset her, I had no idea what to do next.
“I’m crying because I love when God answers my prayers so quickly.” She reached out and put her hand on my cheek. “Mikey, you’ve found her.”
I bit the inside of my lip to hold back the tears at her words. I had no idea when I’d become such a ball of emotions, but I figured it happened about the time the beautiful Italian woman landed in my city.
“Yes, I did. Just like Grandpa said it would, my heart felt it. She’s the one.” We looked at one another, joy evident on both our faces.
“She’s a beautiful woman, Mikey. Strong enough to keep you in line, but soft enough to let you be her strength when she needs it, although that might take some time. That’s a rare woman to find.” The steady beeping of the machines filled the silence as her words swirled in my heart.
“Ren is rare, but she’s having a hard time letting me in. She’s used to being on her own.”
Her warm, wrinkled hand slid down to mine and held firm. “What Renata needs is to see what God has placed inside her. She’s scared to let go, Mikey. It’s going to take a lot of love and patience on your part, but it will be worth it. She’s worth it.”
I nodded, wiping a tear that slid down. “I don’t want to let her down, Grammy. You’ve seen through my mask, the struggle I’ve been hiding. I want to say more to you about it when you’re stronger. But I want to be perfect for her. Be everything she needs,” I said, my feelings spilling out.
“You won’t always be that because Jesus is the only perfect One.
You just need to surrender to Him. Your fears, your failures, your dreams. All of it.
And her faith will be stretched until she fully accepts His love, and only then will she be able to accept yours.
Be the example, Mikey. Love her as Jesus loves us.
There’s a longing in her eyes to belong.
Your Renata needs to have a safe place to let go. ”
My Renata.
“I wish I had the same confidence in myself that you have in me,” I said quietly, lying my head on her bed while she ran her fingers through my hair like she did when I was a little boy and was upset.
Wanting to change the subject, I lifted up my head and smiled. “We want to get married as soon as you’re strong enough. What do you think? Maybe in a few weeks?”
“I think I have all the motivation I need now to get well. Go. Kiss your girl for me and tell her I’ll see her tomorrow. I’m tired now. Pastor Danny came by earlier and made me laugh til I almost peed myself, telling me stories about his daughters, Audrey and Brookie.”
I laughed just imagining it. “Those stories are the stuff of legends.”
“Yes, well, you go spend the day planning this wedding, and let me get my strength back. Have you gotten in touch with your parents yet?”
“I left messages and emails so as soon as they have cell service, they’ll call me. This is the part of their chosen vocation that is hard.”
Through the years, I had accepted that my parents weren’t a part of my everyday life, but times like this made it more pronounced.
She must’ve heard my frustration and said, “They love you, you know that, right?”
Pulling out of my thoughts, I answered, “Yes, of course. It’s just that they aren’t here when you need them, and they may very well miss the wedding. But then again, they’ve missed so much, I guess I should be used to it by now.”
Grammy frowned and said, “They’re doing what they’re called to do, son. Doesn’t take away what they feel for you. And not to worry, I intend to dance at this party and put you young people to shame. I’ll be all the entertainment you need.”
I chuckled and kissed her hand. “I love you, Grammy.”
She smiled and answered, “I love you, too, son. Now go. Nothing you can do here but watch this old woman sleep. And whatever you do, keep those crazy women away from here. Gemma will, no doubt, fall in love with my cardiologist if she finds out he’s single.”
“I’ll do my best. See you tomorrow.”
I watched her from the door for a few minutes, and her mouth was moving as she smiled. I knew she was praying, like she had been all my life. She and her Father were in a conversation that I was sure would move mountains, as I’d always said about her prayers.