Chapter Fifty-Seven
V ickie wondered if the hollow feeling in her heart would ever go away. Not only was she not taking calls from Thatcher, who’d become a constant in her life these past months, but now she didn’t feel like she could talk to Kristy either.
The problem was that today she’d woken up with doubts in her mind. Was Kristy right? Had she put too much stock on superficial things? It was possible. She thought back about the men she’d dated over the past decade. She’d written them off, one by one, for many reasons. Too short, too tall, too hairy, not funny enough, too funny, too fat, too skinny, and the list could go on. There’d been the one who was too religious and then the ones that weren’t religious enough. The ones who were too close to their families and the ones that weren’t close enough.
If it weren’t so sad, it would be almost comical. Somewhere along the way, she’d turned into the Goldilocks of dating. Except that she never could find the man who was just right.
Her workday seemed to drag on forever. She considered it poetic that she was stationed at the Vietnam Memorial this week. No matter how many people were at the Wall, it was always a hushed, somber place. On any given day, Vickie could always count on feeling a little down after working there all day. You couldn’t help but feel the reverence and see the sadness as mothers who’d lost sons came and traced their names onto notebook paper.
At least she’d been switched back to her regular shift. No more late nights. Although that also meant no more three day weekends. But now that she was through working with Thatcher, she supposed it didn’t really matter.
Quitting time finally arrived, and Vickie hot-footed it to the Metro. She didn’t even feel like walking home, as she often did. She wasn’t even hungry. She wanted nothing more than a hot bath and to fall into bed.
There was a message from Thatcher on her machine. He’d left messages the past three days, ever since she’d run out of his cabin. She had to admit that she was a little curious as to how he’d gotten back to D.C. But not curious enough to take his calls.
The hurt feeling hadn’t subsided yet, and she knew she wasn’t ready to talk to him.
A pounding on the door startled her. She peeled herself off of the couch and checked the peephole, thankful to see Dawn in the hallway.
“What gives?” Dawn asked as soon as she was inside. “You look like death warmed over.”
Vickie filled her in on the situation, as well as the stream of phone messages Thatcher had left on her machine.
“Wow. That’s tough.” Dawn looked at Vickie with sympathy. “I don’t blame you for being upset.”
“Thank you.” After Kristy’s take on the situation, Vickie had almost been afraid to share it with someone else, lest they side with Thatcher as well. “What do you think I should do?”
Dawn shook her head. “Nope. I think this is one of those situations where you need to make the decision for yourself.” She glanced over at Vickie. “I can tell you what I would do. But you and I are different.”
Vickie managed a smile. “Okay, fine. What would you do?”
“If it were a year ago, I would’ve just moved on to someone else. Cut my losses.” She shrugged. “But now, with Jason. I care enough about him that I would want to hear him out. It would be difficult to deal with, but I guess at this point I love him so much that I think we could work through about anything.”
Vickie was silent as she considered Dawn’s words. “I think it’s a different situation for you. Before you got engaged, Jason was always up front about his feelings for you, right?”
Dawn nodded. “Well, yes. All along he made sure I knew where I stood.”
“Thatcher hasn’t. He’s become one of my best friends and he’s kissed me a few times. But he’s never come out and told me how he really feels about me. To tell you the truth, I’ve always been afraid that once his presentation is over, I might never hear from him again. After we stopped researching the Lincoln project, I didn’t hear a peep from him for two weeks. Until he needed something from me.” She sighed. “So I already felt uncertain about him. Not my feelings for him, but about his for me. And this. . .knowing he kept something so huge from me.” She shrugged. “I think it just shows me that I wasn’t as important to him as I’d hoped. Otherwise, he’d have shared it with me. He had plenty of chances.”
“It sounds to me like your mind is already made up.”
Vickie leaned her head back against the couch. “I guess it is.”
Dawn patted her on the leg. “Do you want me to bring you anything? Chinese food? Pizza? Ice cream?”
“No.” Vickie shook her head. “Thanks for offering though. I’m just going to go to bed and watch a movie.”
“How about tomorrow? When’s your flight out?”
Vickie grimaced. “I’m skipping Thanksgiving. I can’t face my mother right now. All she’ll do is make me feel even worse. Thankfully, I sounded bad enough on the phone yesterday, that my parents assume I’m sick.”
“I hate to think of you all alone on a holiday.”
Vickie shrugged. “I’ll pretend it’s just another day. Besides, I’m looking forward to burrowing into my down comforter and watching movies all day.”
Dawn frowned. “How about tonight then? I’ll stay with you if you don’t want to be alone.”
“That’s okay. I think maybe some alone-time is what I need.”
She locked the door behind Dawn and padded down the hallway.