Chapter 34
Ismoothed out my navy-blue scrub top and checked one last time for lipstick on my teeth. It was a workday again.
It had been a few days since my date with Tyler and the subsequent moment with Jay. I’d admitted to having feelings for him, but told him I couldn’t pursue them.
Self-preservation, I’d told him.
And that had been the truth.
But despite putting a major damper on the possibility of us ever being together, I’d sort of laid myself bare to him. I worried about how work might be today. Would he treat me differently now? Some men didn’t take rejection well. Would the dentist’s ego start to show?
A little numbness settled on my tongue, and I told myself to snap out of it. Jay wouldn’t treat me differently. And if he did, I could leave. I didn’t have to put up with any sort of behavior that wasn’t good for me. I had to remember that I was in control here.
I parked in my usual space exactly fifteen minutes before the office would open. I put my car into park and let out a heavy sigh.
I really needed to get this over with. I’d hidden away in my apartment all weekend, afraid to run into him.
The isolation had forced me to write, and I’d actually been pretty productive, but it had all been avoidance.
I hated facing the music. It brought on so many anxious feelings.
I was the type to make up scenarios in my head until my brain didn’t know the difference between reality and imagination.
Gathering my courage, I opened my door and walked into the office.
“Hey, Devin. Hey, Shelby.”
I said hello to the front desk staff, and they kindly returned my greeting, oblivious to my anxious thoughts.
I tentatively stepped into the back and decided I’d start with what felt like the easier of the two conversations, searching for Tyler.
I really needed to talk to him about how I wasn’t feeling it.
I didn’t want to lead him on, and honestly, if I was serious about keeping things good in Big Bear, it was probably best if I didn’t date anyone at the office.
It would be cleaner just to stay friends with Tyler, and hopefully, he wouldn’t take it too hard.
But when I walked into the break room, Tyler wasn’t there. Macey was talking with Erica and Jen, but Tyler was nowhere to be found. He was usually pretty early, too. I put my things in my locker, taking my time, waiting to see if Tyler would walk in so I could maybe ask if we could talk for a sec.
Another person stepped into the break room, and I looked up, anticipating Tyler—only to see Jay instead.
My heart skipped a beat. Oh gosh. He didn’t usually come into the break room. It felt like an ambush. But thankfully, he walked right past me, set some papers down on the table, and didn’t even glance at me.
“Is Ty here?” Jay asked the room in general.
“I think he woke up late,” Macey said, leaving her conversation with Jen and Erica. They all gathered around the table. “He should be here in a sec.”
“I need to have a quick meeting,” Jay explained.
Just as he said that, Tyler finally walked in.
“Well, look who’s right on time. We’re having a meeting,” Macey teased Tyler, and he gave a sheepish smile.
“Sorry, I was running late.” Tyler spotted me by my locker and gave me a big smile. “Hey, Hope.”
“Hey, Ty.”
Well, there went my opportunity to talk. I was just going to have to talk to him after work, then.
“So what’s this meeting about?” Erica asked as everyone pulled out chairs and sat down. I took a chair next to Macey, trying my best to look cool and collected.
“The CE conference at the Fairmont Grand is coming up,” Jay said. “I wanted to see who all wanted to go so I can book tickets and rooms.”
CE. I hadn’t thought about continuing education in a while. I needed forty credits every two years to keep up my license.
“Anyone interested in going this year?” Jay asked.
Assistants didn’t technically need CE, but anyone was allowed to attend CE courses.
“I always encourage everyone to attend some classes, whether or not you need the hours,” Jay reminded.
“I want to go, but I just went to a local training course last week,” Macey said, giving a sheepish smile.
“I’m going back to my parents’ that weekend for a family reunion,” Tyler said.
Everyone had an excuse for not being able to attend. And then all eyes landed on me.
“I need CE,” I admitted.
Jay’s expression gave nothing away. He just waited, navy eyes watching me with an unreadable look.
“I would like to go. If that’s okay.”
“I’ll book two rooms then.”
He dismissed the others, and everyone meandered back to their tasks. It was just Jay and me for a moment longer. Then there was a brief pause.
“Can I talk to you in my office?” Jay asked suddenly.
“Sure,” I said coolly. But I was feeling anything but cool.
I followed him out of the break room and into his office. He closed the door behind me and moved to stand behind his desk.
“Are you sure you want to go to this conference?” he asked.
“Why wouldn’t I?” I replied, my defenses snapping up instantly.
“Well,” he said evenly, “we could drive separately, but it’s a four-hour drive. Normally, I carpool with whoever’s attending. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with that.”
Oh. So this was how it was going to be.
“I think I can manage to carpool with you, Jay.”
“Okay,” he said. “I just wanted to be sure.”
This was what I’d asked for, right? Distance? Professionalism?
“We’re both adults,” I said. “I think we can keep things professional for a CE conference, don’t you?”
“I do,” he replied. “I just wanted to confirm that was okay with you.”
“It’s fine with me.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“We’ll leave at seven on Saturday,” he added.
“Awesome.”
“Great.”
I gestured toward the door. “Can I go?”
He nodded curtly, gesturing to the door without even glancing up from his papers.
I didn’t run into Jay the rest of the day. We only spoke during exams, and even then, it was strictly professional and entirely about the patient. He didn’t treat me poorly, and the anxiety that his ego would get in the way slowly faded. But that wasn’t all I was anxious about.
Tyler.
As the day wore on and the end of my shift approached, I knew it was now or never if I was going to talk to him. When the clock struck five, I mustered my courage and approached him just as he was gathering his things to leave.
“Hey, Ty. Can we talk?” I asked.
He glanced up at me, a hint of surprise in his eyes. “I’d love to, Hope, but I’m heading to work.”
“Work?” My brow furrowed.
“Yeah, I work at the nursing home down the street occasionally, and I’m covering a shift tonight. Can it wait?”
I hadn’t realized he had two jobs, and that made me feel horrible for not paying more attention. I bit my lip, feeling my resolve weaken. “Do you have a break?”
Tyler checked his watch. “I’ll have a break around seven tonight. Why don’t you come by the nursing home then?”
This private conversation was turning out to be a lot harder to arrange than I expected. And I hated feeling like things were unresolved. “Okay. Text me the address?”
His face lit up with an excited smile, sending a wave of guilt through me.
“Yeah, I will. I’ll see you tonight.”