Chapter Thirty-One
“ I t’s an atomic cherry.”
I peered at the bright red liquid inside the glass. “I’m not really a shot girl.”
“They’re my fave. Come on, just try it. There’s no way you’re getting out of doing shots at my going-away party.” She stuck out her bottom lip.
She had a point. This was her party. I opened my lips and tipped it back. I only cringed slightly. “It tastes like child’s cough syrup.” I supposed it could be worse.
“Yeah, it’s an acquired taste, but I love ’em.” She waved her hand around between the two tables, ticking everyone’s names off. “Adam, Susan, Vicki, Josh, Rob, your turn.”
“I already had mine,” Adam said. “And I’m guessing everyone else has too since the glasses are empty.”
“Oh. Then time for another.” She raised her arm and snapped her fingers. “Another two rounds for everyone.” I couldn’t help smiling. I’d never see her so sloshed before. Even when she claimed to be drunk, it was never like this. She pointed a finger at me. “Don’t you worry about drinking too much, ’cause my wonderful hubby will drive you home if you can’t. He’s the whatever-you-call-it driver.”
“Designated.”
“What?”
“Designated driver.”
“No need to worry. We’ve already got one.” She grabbed John’s arm and leaned into him. “My wonderful hubby here.”
I laughed. “Good to know. Thanks.”
The server set two shots in front of each of us. Kate downed both of hers before we even wrapped our hands around one. Adam whistled. “I hope you haven’t made any plans later tonight, John. You’re going to be too busy holding back her hair while she pukes red shit everywhere.”
“Already scheduled it in.”
Kate thought that was hysterical. “Doesn’t stain the toilet, though. Already tried it out once.”
She pushed on my elbow until I picked up my shot and drank it down, along with my second. Okay, definitely starting to feel something.
Kate started raising her arm when Adam said, “Lucky guess, but another round?”
“Hey, how’d you know?”
“Lucky guess.”
“Oh, right.” She put her arms around Adam and me, nearly squashing all our faces together. “I’m going to miss you guys soooooooooooo much.” I didn’t think she even had that much breath in her.
“Yeah, me too. You have no idea.” The last thing I wanted to be was a Debbie Downer so I changed course. “But you’ll still stop by and visit, right? And we’ll still continue to go out.”
“Ab-so-tit-lut-ely” She looked around the table, then back at Adam. “Hey, werent’cha getting us more?”
“I already did and you drank it. See? Your shot glass is empty.”
“Oh.” She snapped her fingers and slurred, “Another three rounds for everyone.”
Adam and I exchanged a smirk. There was no way she was leaving on her own two legs. I was also sure she’d lose the function of the rest of her body as well. Probably any moment now.
“Don’t you want to pace yourself?” I said. “Make the night last longer?”
“It’s my going-away party.”
“I know.”
“I’m going away.” I shook my head, wondering if I got this scattered after a crapload of alcohol. She leaned over to hug me, and John caught her before she faceplanted. “I’m so happy you came, Perry. To see me go away.”
I smiled. “Me too.”
Holy fuck . Guess who just walked in the door? My throat had suddenly grown its own heartbeat. Seeing him again ripped me even wider apart. “What is he doing here?” I hissed at Adam. When I’d asked him before if he thought Stephen would show—again, without wanting him to ask why I was asking—he’d told me not likely since they were sending him on a business trip in the early morning.
“What’s who doing where?” Kate yelled. Dammit. This wasn’t good. All her filters had been blasted away.
“You said he had to leave for San Diego in the morning.”
“He does.”
“Ooh, how fun,” she said. “Is he going to Sea World?”
“He’s going to reconfigure—”
“Re-what?”
“Reconfigure. ”
A blank look crossed her face. “Re-trigger?”
“He’s going to the data center out there to fix shit.”
“Well, why didn’t you just say so?”
Meanwhile, during their little exchange, I was holding onto the table to keep from spinning off my chair. The sight of him hurt so, so bad. Thank God he was no longer in our building. I noticed a bunch of new shots had been delivered so I took one. All it did was make my dry mouth pastier, and buzz me up more. And make me miss him more.
“Thatta girl,” Kate said as her eyes started to droop.
I glanced around. The other foursome in our drinking party was involved in their own conversation, and a couple of the other tables were filled with Operations people. Everyone looked to be having a good time. That was nice…. Why the fuck can’t I find Stephen?
“Do you think his trip was canceled?” I asked Adam.
He raised an eyebrow. “No. He’s here because I called him.”
“You what!”
“Aww, that’s nice,” Kate said, slumping further and whispering something into John’s ear.
“Excuse us for a bit. I need to carry my wife to the bathroom.”
As soon as they were gone, I scooted over to the chair next to Adam. “Why the hell would you call him?” Wait, was I happy about that or not? I couldn’t decide. Those atomic things were frying my brain.
“He asked me to let him know if you’d be here tonight.” He smiled. “Interesting, huh?”
My butterflies were doing backflips. I didn’t want this reaction. I wanted to put Stephen’s balls in a bear clamp. He was just another best friend who’d fucked me over, and the last thing I cared to do was feel excited that he was in the same room as me.
“I think we need more shots.” I stood up, swaying.
“Perry…. ”
Before he could finish that thought, I was weaving to the bar. I smooshed in between two guys who didn’t seem the least bit irritated by the intrusion.
“Hey, we have company,” one of them said. “A little lady filling for our sandwich.”
It was such a dorky thing to say, but for whatever reason, I found it outrageously funny. I started laughing hard, which made me giddier.
The touch on my back almost had me shooting to the ceiling. I’d recognize that touch anywhere . I looked down, having a silent conversation with my pussy. Don’t you fucking even think about getting wet or I swear to God I will never pamper you again.
“Perry.” He put his hands on my arms and pulled me away from the bar. I squeezed my lids shut. “I only want to know one thing and then I will leave you alone.” I love you. I hate you. I love you. He leaned in closer to my ear. “How could you do this to me?”
My eyes popped wide and I spun around. How could I do this to him ? I flipped him off, then stormed back to my table without my cherry shots.
Kate and John still weren’t back yet. I gave Adam a once-over as I approached. Why couldn’t I just be into him? He was cute, fun, a great guy. My feelings would be simple with Adam. Not this irritating ‘you’re my boss, I can’t stand you, I like you, you’re my best friend, I love you, you’re the most mind-blowing lover I’ve ever had’ royal clusterfucked arrangement.
“Trouble in paradise?” Adam said.
“Suck it.”
I could feel Stephen near my back even before I saw Adam nod. “Well, it’s about that time for me to go free Willy.” He winked then took off. Damn him.
“No Dre tonight?” Stephen asked, his tone all sharp, jagged edges.
That totally threw me for a loop. Why the hell would he ask about Dre? “No Stefanie tonight?” I retorted, knowing damn well she was long gone by now. Until October, if I had her heat cycles correct.
“What?” Ha. I’d thrown it right back. Now we both could be discombobulated together. But separate.
“Did you see Stefanie on Sunday?”
I didn’t know why he looked the least bit surprised. Did he think Adam would keep his dirty little secret from me?
“Yes.”
Even though I knew the answer already, it still slammed me hard. I hadn’t realized it until then how much I was holding out for a shred of hope that it wasn’t her. A long-lost relative, perhaps? Freya, goddess of love and war?
“Fuck you,” I said, and his eyes widened. It was the first time I’d really taken a good look at his face since he’d arrived. The dark circles were apparent. He hadn’t been sleeping well either. Good. I would’ve been smacking him around if he had. “Either you can leave or I will.”
“You’re in no condition to be driving.”
Hey, I just meant leave the table, but if he meant the bar, so much the better. “Then I guess it’ll be you.”
I turned my back to him. I could be going off about how he’d smashed my heart into dust, then power-washed it away, but I didn’t fucking want to. I didn’t have to spell it out for him. He wasn’t a toddler still learning the rules. He knew exactly what he did to me.
John and Kate came back to the table with her arms draped around his neck. He’d probably dragged her all the way.
“Lookie, is Bossman,” Kate mumbled. “Thanks for coming.” She closed her eyes and smacked her forehead on John’s shoulder. That’d leave a nice lump.
“It’s time for me to take this one home,” John said. “I can give you a ride now too, Perry.”
“No, thanks. I’m not drunk enough yet. I’ll get a ride with Adam if I need one. Tell Kate I’ll give her a call tomorrow. Late.”
“Perry,” I heard Stephen say behind me. He’s still here? I was getting anesthetized and it was harder to feel him. Exactly my intent.
I turned around. “Getting a ride isn’t against policy, is it, Mr. Davidson? You seem to be stellar at enforcing them. Following them is where you fuck up.”
I left for the bathroom, passing Adam on the way. “You invited him here. Now please make him leave.”
I waited a good ten minutes before coming back. Stephen was gone. Adam had a shot waiting for me at the table.
“Aww, thanks,” I said, tossing it down. “Kate was right. These do grow on you.” The floor shook with that last one. Maybe I wasn’t shooting Everclear, but it still packed a wallop, especially because I wasn’t used to it. Maybe I should think about curbing it a while.
“He left,” Adam said, and I nodded. “Now that you’re nice and liquored up, what’s the deal with you two?”
“Absolutely nothing.” Wasn’t that the truth.
“That’s not what he says.”
My head snapped up and he grinned. He was just messing with me; he had to be. Before I could question it further, a couple others joined us at the empty spots at our table. I tried making small talk with them all, but my tongue kept bunching up the faster I opened my mouth.
“Hi, Perry.”
I jerked my head around at the familiar voice. “Jillian?” It was family night. I peered over her shoulder, wondering who else would pop up.
“It’s just me.” She laughed. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but would you like to have a drink with me? We can catch up.”
“Uh….” It wasn’t like I was ditching Adam since he had others around, but this felt a little peculiar. What was she suddenly doing there? “Okay,” I finally said.
“Great.”
We went to a small table in the corner, and I plopped down while she went up to the bar. I thought it best if I stayed in one place since I’d almost steamrolled someone just getting over there. She came back with a beer for her and something margarita-ish for me.
“Thanks.” I took a sip. “Strawberry?”
“Yep, with kiwi. Like it?”
“Mmhmm.” I set the drink down. “Why are you here alone?” Peculiar.
“I could make something up, but honestly? Stephen asked me to come.”
What? I narrowed my eyes. I didn’t need a damn keeper. Didn’t he trust me around Adam? He had no right. No. Right.
I shook my head, then stopped. Not the brightest idea. “You don’t need to—”
She held up her hand. “I wanted to, really. I’ve been hoping to talk to you anyway.”
“Why?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, because I really do like you, Perry. But I hate what you’re doing to my brother. When you were at my house that night, I got the strong impression that you cared a lot for him. What happened?”
My jaw scraped the floor. “What happened? Your brother is a lying dick is what happened.”
She looked as clueless as I felt. “I’m not sure what’s going on here because I don’t have details, but you hurt him, Perry. Badly.”
Um, were we talking about the same guy? I took a hearty sip of my drink. So much for taking a break. The iciness plowed straight to my sinuses, and I pressed my palm to my forehead. Fuck, that stung.
“Lemme tell you exactly what happened. We slept together and it ruined everything. Everything . He tried warning me about how he loses interest after sex, but did I listen? Nope. He promised that wouldn’t happen to us. Ha!” I took another sip, slower that time. “It was the best night of my life, but I’d erase it all just to have our friendship back.”
Jillian scrunched up her face. She was too damn adorable. “None of this is making sense to me.”
“Oops, sorry. Was I slurring too much?” It sounded right in my head, but who knew what my mouth was spitting out.
“No, that’s not it. I just find it hard to believe.”
“Well, believe it. And then he went off to sleep with fucking Stefanie right away. Whatever she’s got”—I waved my hand down my body—“I don’t got. I don’t see him losing any interest in her since they screw every few months. You could probably set your watch to it.”
She gave her head a quick shake. “Okay, I have no idea who this Stefanie is, but something about your story’s not right.”
“Yeah, it’s not right, all right. That’s what I get for falling in love.”
“What? You love him?”
Oh shit . “Ohmigod, please don’t tell him I said that, okay?” I grabbed her hand. “Please?” I wasn’t above begging her, but I was not going to be humiliated by him. He could not know how deep my feelings went.
“I… I promise.”
“Thank you.” I pushed myself up. “Nice seeing you again, but all this talk about love is making me queasy. I probably should ask Adam for that ride home now.” I tried holding on to the back of the chair, but someone must’ve greased it down.
Jillian was there holding on to me. “I’ll give you a ride, no problem. But I don’t feel right about leaving you alone tonight. Do you live with anyone?”
“Nope. Just me.”
“Would you mind coming back to my place? I’d feel so much better about that. I would’ve never gotten you a drink if I knew you were this far gone. Mike and I can come back out later and get your car. ”
“Right. It all just hit me. Wait, who’s Mike?”
“My husband.”
“Oh yeah. Do you love him?”
She laughed. “Of course I do. He’s my husband.”
“No, like love love.” I stumbled against her.
“I think we should get you into bed.”
“Hey, that’s what your brother said too.”
She grabbed my purse for me, and I caught Adam’s eye, giving him a little wave. Then I pointed at Jillian, indicating I was leaving with her. Wouldn’t want him to think someone snatched me. It wouldn’t be too hard at the moment.
We linked arms as she helped me out the door. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“I told you. I like you. But even if I didn’t, Stephen would more than make up for that.”
I snorted. “He needs to work on his people skills if that’s how he shows it.”
She got me into the car and I buckled my seat belt. For as high as I was flying, I was hanging on pretty well. My lips, however, felt like I’d fallen asleep mouth down in a giant anthill. I blindly dug around in my purse for lip balm and came in contact with shamrocks instead. I wrapped my fingers around them and sighed. Then I rested my head back and closed my eyes.
When she slipped into the driver side, I said, “Just so you know, Stephen was a great guy until he turned into a dick. He was there for me at a time when I really needed it.”
“I’m sure there’s some sort of explanation, Perry. He’s still a great guy. Trust me.”
“Sure, you can say that because you haven’t slept with him.” I turned my head towards her. “Figures that he’s incredible in bed too. No one has ever made me feel like that. He does this thing with his tongue where— ”
“Um, this is my brother here.”
“Oh right.” I giggled. Then I sighed. “It’s just that…. You think I hurt him, but he’s the one who hurt me bad. He made me believe in fairy tales and then he took that away. You know, just because I never want to get married doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a princess and have a fancy wedding.”
She laughed. “What?”
Yeah, it probably didn’t sound too logical outside of my own head. I always thought it’d be a hell of a lot of fun to go through the wedding motions without actually coming out of it tied to someone. But there was never a guy I even wanted to do that with. Until Stephen.
“I just want fairy tales to be real, that’s all.”
I was quiet after that, and Jillian probably assumed I’d dozed off. But instead, I was just closing my eyes and thinking. I didn’t know why I’d just told her all that stuff. I guess I could blame the booze or the necklace, but I also felt really comfortable with her. Figured.
When she pulled into her garage and stopped the car, it really hit me. What I’d felt before was just a slap. This was a full-body sucker punch.
“Uh, Jill… Jill… Jills?” That was the best I could do. One syllable was easier than three, and the ‘s’ just hissed out as I tried to breathe through the nausea. I grabbed the door handle, trying to stop the merry-go-round. I tried saying, “I’m going to throw up,” but it came out “Arghgrmarm.”
Fortunately, she spoke Drunk. She ran around to my side and helped me out. “There’s a bathroom in the basement right through the garage. Come on, you can make it.”
Thank God I did. I couldn’t even imagine puking all over her car and house. She sat with me, holding back my hair while I heaved red shit into the toilet. At least I knew it wouldn’t stain.
When I was sure there couldn’t possibly be any more to get out, she gave me a toothbrush and set me up in a spare room with a huge glass of water. She sat at the edge of the bed and waited a while, probably to make sure I wouldn’t be smothering myself in vomit anytime soon.
I wasn’t sure why she was taking such good care of me, but it felt nice. I was usually the one doing the taking care of.
At some point, I must’ve dozed off, because when I cracked open an eye, I was alone. But only in the room. I caught voices coming from down the hall, and I shifted my head to hear them better.
Stephen?