Chapter Thirty-Two Stephen
“ F uck!”
I rubbed my arm. My sister had a strong hook on her.
She punched me again in the same spot. “Dammit, Jillian! Will you fucking quit that?”
“Why didn’t you tell her you love her? I told you to do that.”
She stood there glaring at me with her hands on her hips. I’d been there for a whole five seconds, and already she was laying into me.
“Is she sleeping?” I asked.
“Yes, now answer my question.”
“It’s a good thing I didn’t tell her.” I was grateful my sister had come through and taken care of her, although it didn’t take much persuading. She genuinely liked her. Maybe too much, considering that she appeared ready to take me down right then. What the hell had they talked about?
“What does that mean? ”
I thought about it for a moment. It made no fucking sense, but…. “Is that why she went back with her ex? Because I didn’t say I loved her after we slept together?” That did not sound like a Perry move.
“Back with her ex? All right, enough of this bullshit. Both of you are speaking gibberish. How can two people who care so much about each other be so damn far apart on the page? You just need to talk to each other as soon as possible. End of story.”
“I saw her, Jillian. Early Sunday morning when I was driving home from work. I passed by that little tattoo shop on Beecher and had to do a double-take. I slowed down enough to see her walking out with her ex. Then she hugged him and when her shirt rose up, I saw the fucking bandage. He’d always wanted her to get inked for him, and she mentioned that if she ever had it done, it’d be on her hip.” I was wrecked all over again just mentioning it.
“And then what happened?”
“I don’t fucking know.” I tugged a handful of hair. Reminiscing about this shit was not a high point of my day. “I took off, and that’s when I came here to sleep.”
“Hmm. Why didn’t you tell me about this then?”
“You think I wanted to talk? I just wanted to forget.”
There’d been no fucking way I was going to have a gab session with my sister that morning. And there’d been no fucking way I was going home either. I’d been completely cashed and needed to sleep hard. Seeing her with Dre damn near broke me, and I’d been in no shape to deal with anything.
“So you just assumed they were back together. You never once thought there could be another explanation?”
“Fuck, Jillian. I’d just come off forty-eight hours of no sleep. I shouldn’t even have been driving. Maybe I shouldn’t have believed it then, but coming home later to find she’d moved out was the final blow.” I clenched my teeth together. Discovering she was gone had just tied it all together. In one massive fucked-up, drop-kicked to the chest, nailed-to-the heart vile-ass bow.
“She didn’t once talk about another guy last night. Not even close. But she did mention a Stefanie.”
“What about her?”
She fucking slugged me again. “You had sex with her right after Perry? What the hell’s wrong with you?”
“What?” What the fuck is going on here? “No, I didn’t. Why would you say that?”
“Well, that’s what Perry thinks. Who is this woman, anyway?”
I paced around the room. Good thing Daniel was at a friend’s for the night because this was one messed-up conversation. Jillian’s nasty looks alone were enough to wake the dead.
“She’s just someone I saw every few months when she came into town. I have no idea why Perry thinks what she does. Yeah, I saw Stefanie on Sunday after I left your house, but it was just to meet her at Ground Creek. I thought it was only right to speak to her in person about putting an end to any future meetings.”
Even after I saw her with Dre, I still wanted nothing further to do with Stefanie. I felt like a pussy even thinking it, but after my night with Perry, being with another woman just felt hollow.
I paced harder, trying to figure this shit out. Adam likely told her that he saw us at the coffee shop, but I know he wouldn’t have made it out to be anything more. He was always rooting for us, even if I’d wanted to backhand him at times for screwing around and getting a little too friendly with her while I was watching.
She’d probably come to that conclusion on her own, then moved out because she thought I’d lied to her. That made sense. What didn’t was Dre. How did that loser and the tat shop fit into all this?
I dropped my head in my hands. Could all of this really have been just one gigantic fucked-up misunderstanding?
“She didn’t mention anyone last night by the name of Dre?”
“Dre? No. You’re the only guy she talked about.” She came over and put her arm around my shoulder. I guess she’d softened towards me. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I really feel there’s no one else. Woman’s intuition and all.” She smiled. “You need to talk to her. Ask her how she feels about you. That’s the only way you’ll find out.”
“Yeah.” I couldn’t fucking believe that I had to be at the airport in three hours. The timing of shit for the past couple weeks had been some god’s idea of a cruel, twisted joke.
“Mike’s down in the rec room. I’m going to grab him and go bring back her car. She had a rough night and shouldn’t be alone. Do you have time to wait here with her?”
“I’m not going anywhere until I have to.” I had never been so tempted to quit my job. I could be gone for fucking weeks during a time when I’d never needed to stay home more.
She kissed my cheek, then headed out of the room. “Good luck, little brother.”
After she left, I immediately went to the back room. “Perry,” I whispered. No response. I sat at the edge of the bed and touched her face. She was warm and curled up with one too many blankets so I removed them, just leaving the sheet around her.
I sat for a while and simply stared at her. Even with her rough night, she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Could she still be mine? Was she ever? I’d assumed that we’d have plenty of time for discussing it afterwards, but when I was called away and could do nothing but focus on the outage, everything had gone full-speed to hell.
I brushed back her hair and she mumbled, “Stephen?” My heart did a leap. It fucking leapt . There she was, half out of it with eyes still closed, and she said my name. Not Dre’s .
“Yes, it’s me.” I continued touching her hair as she hovered somewhere between a dead sleep and partial awareness. “Can you hear me okay?”
“Mmm. ”
I had no clue what she understood now or would remember later, but there was so much I wanted to say. We’d already wasted too much time.
“I never slept with Stefanie. I wouldn’t do that to you. You’re the only woman I want. You’re the only one I think about day in and day out.” Fuck, I really wished I knew if she was taking this in or not. “I saw you with Dre, and in my sleep-deprived mind, I assumed the worst. I should’ve talked to you about it right away. After everything he put you through, and everything we shared, I should have never held the thought—even for a second—that you’d go back to him.”
I paused, listening to her soft breaths. I had a strong urge to pull the sheet down and check the skin over her hip, but I held back. I still didn’t know the whole story, but from what Jillian told me, I began to have hope again.
I stroked her forehead, her cheek, her lips. “Everything I said to you that night was true. You’re different. We’re different. I feel like I’ve waited for you for so long, and I don’t just want you for a night. I want you for as long as we can go. I want us, Perry, and I hope so badly that you want the same.”
I rubbed my jaw, not sure how much more to say. I didn’t want the first time I said “I love you” to be like this. I wanted her looking into my eyes and fully conscious. It would have to wait until I returned. Fucking business trip.
I sat with her as long as I could, until I barely had a second to spare. I kissed her forehead and told her I’d talk to her again as soon as possible.
As I was walking out the door, she muttered something against the pillow.
I could have sworn it was “I love you.”