Chapter 3
BIANCA
The sound of Adir’s and Antonias’s lowly speaking voices roused me.
Prying my eyes open, the first set of eyes that met me were those of Antonias.
Nothing could’ve prepared me for what lie there.
He looked relieved and concerned at the same time.
Then, there was the set of his jaw. It was tight as he slid his large, tattooed hands into his black scrub bottoms. He didn’t even blink as he stared at me.
“Baby!” My mama ran to me and collapsed over me, breaking my attention from Antonias. Her tears soaked through my gown and prickled my skin. She kissed my forehead, then my cheeks. I’d never seen her this devastated before.
“Hey, Mama,” I croaked. “I was shot. Who shot me? Torro… Where is he?” Looking for answers, I shot my tear-filled eyes at my father, brothers, and finally, Antonias.
His once relieved and concerned expression turned into a look of annoyance.
As if he was disgusted by the sight of me, he turned and gave me his back as he paced the room.
Adir walked over to the side of my bed and judging by how long it took him to say anything, I knew it was bad. I started crying before he even uttered anything.
“Torro’s dead,” he replied flatly. “You were shot two times and…” Adir never hesitated. Ever. This was a big deal, and honestly, he was scaring the hell out of me. “One bullet went through ya abdomen. The other… ya pelvis.”
“What?” The monitor beside my bed went off as my pulse increased. He couldn’t be saying what I thought he was about to say.
“You sustained too much damage and blood loss. We had no choice, baby.” Adir’s gentle delivery did nothing to stop the sharp pain that shot through my heart.
My mama’s sobbing stuck the blade of shock, devastation, and extreme hurt even deeper. As if the pain couldn’t get any worse, Antonias entered my line of vision.
The pain that gripped every nerve root in my body was reflected behind his brown eyes. He was devastated, too. The growth of his beard spoke to the stress and worry he carried. Antonias never went without keeping himself well-groomed.
My mother’s soft hands wiped away tears that I didn’t have the strength or will to wipe away on my own.
Life had hit me between the eyes without any warning.
And now, everything had truly changed. At some point, I fell back asleep to the sound of my own heart breaking.
Out of everything that could’ve happened to me, losing the ability to give birth was just too much.
Here I thought witnessing Antonias propose to another woman had devastated me. This was devastation unlike any other.
For the first time in my life, I felt lost.
The next morning, I woke up the same way I fell asleep, crying.
Through my tears, I finally asked how everyone else faired in the shooting.
I was saddened to learn that two of the security team were killed along with Torro.
As much as I was sad for them, I was afraid for whoever did this.
Adir was surely going to skin them alive.
My mom and dad took turns holding my hand through the bouts of grief I faced. With each new set of tears I shed, he became angrier. I wasn’t sure who put me here, but my family wasn’t going to rest until revenge was had. That was the only thing that gave me some peace.
The next couple of days passed with me grieving.
The tears never slowed. However, between my dad, my mom, aunts, uncles, Coco, Heir, and the staff, I was getting through as best as I could.
Then there was Antonias. Every other hour, he was in my room checking on me.
He doted on me like a man who really cared about me.
This time as tears fell, they included the breaking of my heart for a man I really let slip through my fingers. I would never forgive myself for pushing him into the arms of another woman.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” my mama whispered. Her hands were surely covered in my sorrow. Still, she remained strong as she tended to her daughter.
Later that evening, I was stirred awake by the smell of Antonias. Opening my eyes, I found him sitting on the couch my mama and daddy occupied whenever they were in my room.
“Hey, sleepy head,” he spoke.
“Hi. What time is it?” The days and hours blended together. I hadn’t even kept watch of what was on the television. Everything I focused on was stuck in my head.
“Almost ten.” He stood and approached my bed, bringing his body heat a little too close. “Had to sneak in here while ya parents went upstairs for a nap.”
“Oh.”
“Oh,” he parroted. “How do you feel about going to the farm?”
“Your farm?” I questioned.
He nodded. “What other farm you know about?” His scrunched up face brought a surprising smile to mine.
“I don’t know any others. What’s at the farm?”
“I’m takin’ you there ‘til you fully recover. Is that cool?”
Gulping, I fought the urge to cry again. “As much as my family trusts you, they’re not going for that.”
“They’ve already agreed to it.”
“Oh,” I replied, surprised. “Well, then, I don’t mind.” Being out at S. S. Estates would be some good for me. There I could cry my days away without my parents and brothers breathing down my neck. I wasn’t sure how much recovery I’d get done, but I could surely grieve in peace.
“Are you hungry? You barely ate this evening.”
Thinking about it, I had barely touched the vegetable soup my mother made me.
“I’m okay for now,” I said. My stomach growled, but my appetite just wasn’t there. I was sick. My heart was sick. And so was my soul.
The next morning arrived, and I was all too ready to leave this place.
Five days in bed felt like an eternity. Love for my family ran deep.
However, I was ready to be alone. I was ready to rush along this process of the new me.
Getting to know who I’d be in this next phase of my life was going to be a learning curve.
My pelvic area endured a lot of damage, and it would take some time to fully regain my strength.
Life just really changed in the blink of an eye.
“We’re almost there,” my mama said, wrangling me from my thoughts.
Of course, my family had to tag along to see that I settled at the farm.
Although he wasn’t able to be with us for the move to the farm, Adrian called me every other hour just to check on me.
With the demands of his classes, I wanted him to stay focused on what was ahead.
Thirty minutes later, we made it to the farm. In one word, S. S. Estates was exquisite. This coming from a woman who grew up living at Bell Estates. Bell Estates wrapped me in a luxury that was hard to compare to. However, S. S. Estates was neck and neck with Bell Estates.
Large red bows hung from the fence lining the property.
Whereas, Bell Estates boasted grand mansions, S.
S. Estates boasted several ranch-style homes with the largest one belonging to Antonias.
His house had a wraparound porch, overflowing with ferns and other lush greenery.
Mixed in were Christmas decorations. Although his house gave a country feel, his modern taste also peeked through in the large floor-to-ceiling windows that spanned most of the house.
Two large wreaths hung on the French-style front doors.
My door opened, bringing Antonias into view. His hand extended to me. Taking a deep breath, I took his hand and braced myself for the shifting of my body. So far, the physical pain wasn’t touching the emotional pain.
“Easy.”
Antonias held me up when my legs felt weak beneath me.
I tried another step but felt a little dizzy.
Antonias swooped me up, then carried me the rest of the way.
Adir held the front door for him as he carried me inside.
With my eyes closed, all I could register was that it was cool inside and smelled like candied yams. Seconds later, my back touched something soft, prompting me to open my eyes.
Antonias positioned his stethoscope over my chest, listening to the rhythm of my heart, and my breath sounds.
Finding everything okay, he removed the stethoscope and tucked me under the blanket. Worn out from the ride, I fell asleep.
“Are you comfortable?”
Prying my eyes from the wall window overlooking the backyard, I nodded.
“I wanna hear ya voice, Bee,” Antonias stated.
“I’m comfortable,” I mumbled.
Antonias was quiet as he studied me. Hopefully, he couldn’t see the lie behind my downcast expression.
Turning my gaze back toward the wall window, I imagined running through the thick grass blanketing the expanse of the yard.
I imagined that I was playfully chasing a tiny human.
A human that came from me. I felt the room shift, and seconds later Antonias stood in front of me, blocking my view.
His fingers glided along my cheek, wiping away the tears that were there.
He leaned down and kissed the spot under both my eyes.
“If I could take these tears away, I would, lil’ baby. I’d wear every ounce of ya grief just to see you smile.”
In the middle of mourning what wouldn’t be, I said, “Katrelle won’t like that you’re this close to me.” Not only had I lost the ability to give birth, but I lost the man whose pursuit of me had indeed been genuine.
Antonias’s handsome face split into a soft smile. “Are you really concerned about what Katrelle wouldn’t like?”
I nodded. “As much as I hate that you’re really about to be a married man—” Tears clouded my eyes, and I couldn’t catch them before they fell.
“Let’s not focus on that, aight. You’re here to recover.”
“Yeah, okay,” I mumbled softly.
He stood back to his full height and sighed heavily.
“It’s been so long since I’ve been here,” I stated.
The last time I came to the farm was five years ago.
It was to celebrate Antonias acquiring the land that his adoptive parents had lived on for decades.
The whole Bell family showed up to support Antonias.
He was considered family, so not supporting him wasn’t even in our minds.
“Things have slightly changed. I’ll give you a tour tomorrow. For this evening, I want you to relax. Is there anything special you want for dinner?”
“Not really,” I replied.
“Nah, that ain’t gon’ work for me.” He chuckled. “Think of something. Anything.”
Well, for one we were in the middle of the country. For two, my mama’s soup was the only homemade soup I trusted.
“Vegetable soup,” I told him.
“Aight, I got you.”
Skeptical, I just gave him a flat smile.
He turned the volume up on the television, then left me to my thoughts.
Sighing, I propped my arms on top of a thick pillow and fumbled with my thumbs.
Antonias said not to focus on him and Katrelle, but how could I not?
That man was fine as hell, and now that I knew he was serious all this damn time, I was salty about it.
Doesn’t matter now anyway. You can’t give him something he desires.
Angrily, I dashed the thought away. As if there was any more reason to drown myself in tears, that was another one.