Chapter 13
ANTONIAS
Thick as hell cement must’ve been what was lodged in my throat as I stood on the corner of Hill Street & Birmingham Ave.
“This is where they left me,” I explained to Bianca.
Back then, there was a corner store that sat outside of one of the worst housing apartments in the city.
There was no streetlight or reputable business on this stretch of street.
Just a corner store, a city bus stop, and a dilapidated autobody parts garage across the street.
Over the years, the stretch of street was upgraded.
The store was still here, but several businesses were now on either side of the street.
Hills Apartment Complex was torn down and replaced with a gated community featuring single-family homes.
“Someone leaving the store saw them driving off and grabbed me before I could run into the street. Although my life was horrible as fuck, I still tried to run after them.”
Done standing on this corner, I ushered Bianca back to the Suburban where Tyrese waited for us. I climbed in behind Bianca and pushed out a deep breath. I’d successfully made it through phase one. Phase two… Phase two had my head hurting. My blood pressure was surely high.
As we headed to our next destination, I had to give Bianca the footnotes of my life before Antonias Suarez came into existence.
“Eldon and Arisana Lovelace. Those are my birth parents. They were heavy into the streets. And by heavy, I mean hopping flights in and out of the country. Before I was six, I’d been shot at more than I could count.
” Shaking my head, I couldn’t believe how much my brain retained over the years.
Trauma was a tick that latched on and hid amongst life and all its distractions.
“More than once, my mother told me that having me slowed them down. They were all about their money and a baby was never anything either of them desired to have. Most nights, they locked me in the attic while they were handling whatever business they had to tend to. I’d eat whatever, shit wherever, and talk to the fuckin’ walls.
I had a bed and some stuffed animals to keep me company, but that was about it. ”
Bianca’s face reflected shock and sorrow. Still, there was more.
“The day they left me on the street, they were runnin’ from the feds.
Instead of taking me with them, they left me.
My mama said I slowed them down, so taking me with them was never an option.
” Swallowing hard, I said, “The article in the papers labeled me as a three-year-old, Black male. Mind you, I was six. That was how fuckin’ small I was. ”
Bianca’s hand settled on mine. She joined our fingers together and held on for dear life.
“Before Eldon got too deep in, he cut ties with his closest partner at the time, Gion.”
Bianca gasped. “Your dad?”
I nodded. “Gion found out what hospital I was in, then came and got me. By then, he and Margarite were no longer runnin’ the way Eldon and Arisana were.
They were a crew, but the more licks they hit, the more reckless Eldon and Arisana became.
Gion and Margarite picked up and left Miami.
They settled outside of Niceville Shores. ”
“The farm?” she mumbled.
Again, I nodded. “I was rebellious as hell. If trouble was to be had, I got into it. I hated my life so much, I thought I was in hell. I gave them hell, too.”
“What changed?” she asked.
“Out of all the children Gion and Margarite fostered, Kwamé came along. Protecting her became my mission. Instead of running the streets, I’d make sure I was home just to keep an eye on her. She was broken and scared. I couldn’t leave her to fend for herself.”
“That’s sweet, Antonias.”
I shrugged just as Tyrese pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant Eldon frequented.
Although I didn’t keep tabs on him, he was so predictable that a quick search gave me the rundown on Eldon Lovelace.
Truly, his ass hadn’t changed. As soon as he got out of prison, he started the same shit again.
He was still in the streets and still thought he was the shit.
As for my birth mother, she was still sticking beside her nigga.
Locating one meant the other was close. In this case, they were both inside La Casa Verde enjoying lunch.
I learned they had a young daughter named Shyah.
According to the information I had, Shyah was exceptionally bright and thriving.
That was just shit on the surface. I couldn’t help but wonder what her home life was like.
Tyrese parked, and as I climbed out of the Suburban, I chucked my head at the other black Suburban that pulled in next to us. Security was here to ensure that Bianca made it back to Bell Estates should anything go sideways. I hoped nothing went sideways.
As we entered La Casa Verde, my heart pounded. Facing these people felt like I was six all over again. I felt the heat of the attic, and the darkness of the attic seemed to envelop me the closer I made it to the table they occupied.
Eldon spotted me first. He and Arisana were laughing at something when his face fell flat at the sight of me. I swear, the color drained from his walnut hued face.
“Qué diablos estás haciendo aquí (What the hell are you doing here)?” he questioned. His hadn’t blinked, and his hands were frozen with his utensils gripped in his fingers. The whites of his knuckles stood out.
“Estoy aquí para hablar (I’m here to talk). No tienes tiempo para tu hijo (You don’t have time for your son)?” Whether he had time or not, I welcomed Bianca and myself to a seat. Sitting across from them, I suddenly felt…nothing.
Switching to English, my birth father chuckled and said, “Never figured you’d come back for more.” Amused, he shook his head. “So, what you wanna talk about? If you’re expecting an apology, you wasted ya time.”
“Eldon,” Arisana chided softly. Her eyes darted from mine to Eldon’s before she glanced away. I hated to admit it, but my mother had aged beautifully. Her dark honey skin had always been radiant despite the black ass soul she harbored inside her.
“I’m not expecting anything other than to release the weight of a kid who’s been dyin’ to be let go.” My statement hit him between the eyes.
He played it off with a shrug. “Gion took you in. It’s not like you had it any better with him and Margarite.”
“My parents have always been and will always be perfect.”
He chuckled loudly. “Perfect? Gion is no better than me. In fact, he has more bodies than me, no?”
I wouldn’t satisfy the smug on his face with a response.
“Leave my pops outta this. This is about Eldon, Arisana, and Uriah.”
“Sorry, I’m late, Papa,” a young girl came up to the table and interrupted.
Peering at Shyah, I saw of hint of Uriah looking back at me.
She had a bookbag hanging from one of her frail shoulders and a stack of books in the crook of her other arm.
My gaze shot to Eldon and Arisana. Eldon looked at the young girl angrily, while Arisana looked nervous as hell.
“Shyah, have a seat and start ya homework,” Eldon told her. Shyah offered a smile that didn’t meet her eyes and sat at the table behind Eldon and Arisana.
“It’s fucked up that y’all didn’t stop after me. Does she know who the fuck y’all are?” I questioned.
“Stop!” Eldon hissed. Arisana was close to tears. Bianca’s hand gripped mine a little tighter. She was safe, though.
“I want you to look at me and know that the child y’all so carelessly discarded, survived.
I survived and became someone the two of you could never be.
” Arisana wasn’t strong enough to look in my eyes, so I turned my gaze back to Eldon.
“I want you to look in my eyes and see that the light you tried to put out burns brighter than a fuckin’ supernova.
Wherever you go in life, I want you to remember that you ain’t shit, and you will never be shit.
Fuck everything either of you stand for.
With the greatest relief in my heart… Uriah. ”
They sat there looking stupid as fuck as Bianca and I stood from the table. Stopping at Shyah’s table, I leaned down and whispered my number to her, then told her to recite it to me. She mouthed the numbers twice as tears coated her eyes.
“I got you, aight?” I said for her ears only. She nodded.
Walking out of La Casa Verde, I felt better, lighter. Uriah was free. My heart was fully open to give the Bianca the love she deserved. In kind, my heart was open to receive the love she was ready to give me.