Chapter 14
BIANCA
Antonias’s solemn mood followed us out of the restaurant.
Although his thumb stroked the back of my knuckles, his mind was elsewhere.
I respected his stillness, though. I respected him even more for standing up to the people who brought so much trauma to his life.
Listening to the full extent of his story turned my stomach.
No child should ever go through the torment of what Antonias experienced.
I wanted to hold him and let him know that I would always have his back.
When we returned to the condo, an elaborate lunch waited for us.
We changed into matching loungewear and traded kisses while indulging in the best chicken and waffles I’d ever tasted.
The private chef serving us made me the best pineapple mimosa.
I wished I was enjoying myself. Instead, I was in my head because Antonias was in his head.
After eating, I straddled his lap and finished sipping from my second pineapple mimosa. He sipped his mango juice. I gazed in his eyes and brushed my fingers through the curls that rested on his forehead.
“I’m proud of you,” I told him. He smiled. “You make me feel honored to call you my man. You’re devilishly handsome, strong, and…” I felt his dick hardening beneath me, which caused me to gasp.
He smirked and gripped my thigh with his empty hand. “What else, baby?”
“Uh… You’re perfect. Your courage to confront the people who caused you trauma makes me proud to be tied to you forever.”
“Forever, huh?”
I nodded. “I’m not letting you go.”
“That’s the nicest shit you’ve ever said to me, Bee.”
Snickering, I leaned down and kissed his lips. “I’ve told you I love you.”
“I love you is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said to me. Otherwise, that mouth can be mean as fuck.”
This time, I threw my head back and laughed.
He used that opportunity to attack my neck.
I squealed as we tipped over on the carpet.
Laying on top of him, I sought his lips out again, then tipped my glass to pour the rest of my drink into his mouth.
He swallowed it, then licked his luscious lips.
I sat my glass aside and placed his glass next to mine.
His dick was hard against my abdomen, and the way I felt, I wanted to provide him some relief.
Trailing my hands down his chest, I sat up, positioned myself between his thighs and tugged at the waist band of his lounge shorts.
The front door opening and closing signaled that the chef had seen himself out to give us some privacy.
Antonias’s eyes darkened as I slowly removed his lounge shorts.
His dick jutted up and curved nicely to the right.
He removed his shirt as the fire in his eyes intensified.
Palming his thick, long dick, I became familiar with his soft skin and each vein that protruded from it.
I’d never had sex before. Neither had I ever given a man head.
And somehow, I wasn’t nervous or afraid to learn my man and what he liked. I would do anything for him.
“Will you direct me, Antonias?”
As I stroked him, the first signs of his body’s flavor seeped from the tip of his bulging, round head. He nodded and his lids lowered dangerously as I bent to have my first taste of him.
His body jerked as I slowly swiped my tongue over him. I expected him to taste just as good as he looked, and I wasn’t disappointed. He hissed as my tongue explored him, to learn where any of his sensitive spots were. I didn’t get far. He tugged my hair and groaned as I put him out of his misery.
Wrapping my mouth around him, I watched his facial expressions to determine if I was pleasing him correctly. I sucked up and down and used my hand to assist me. The deeper he groaned, the wetter I made his dick.
“Don’t stop,” he mumbled.
His teeth caught his bottom lip, and he snarled as I sucked, then swirled my tongue around the base of his head. One of his spots were tucked there. My tongue touched it again, causing his head to fall back against the carpet.
His fingers pushed through my hair to move the strands out of my eyes. He lifted his head up to look into my eyes.
“You wanna taste some more of me, baby?”
Slurping and suctioning him more, that was exactly what I wanted. His hands cupped my face as he relaxed his head again.
“Deep throat me,” he demanded.
Removing my hand, I did what he asked, taking his dick to the back of my throat. Gagging on it didn’t stop me. Especially when he nearly came out of his skin.
“Ooh, shit!” he exclaimed. Sweat dotted the muscles and tattoos all over his chest, and all I could think was that I was making him this hot. Encouraged, I stroked and gagged on him until my saliva pooled around his dick.
“Taste me, Bee,” he panted. Seconds later, his dick jerked in my hand. Drinking from him was easier than I thought. Surprised that I was able to keep it up, I mentally patted myself on the back.
Later that evening, Antonias and I were back on the balcony, watching the sunset. Finally, he opened up about Shyah.
“I’ve never really stopped to think that everything happens for a reason.
However, this situation has taught me some shit.
If we weren’t what we are now, I would’ve never confronted my past. Freeing Uriah allowed me to learn that Shyah exists.
She looked timid but healthy. I can’t go off what I went through to save her.
She’s older than I was and seemed…okay.”
“But?”
“She looked healthy, but her eyes and the fact that she didn’t write my number down makes me feel some type of way.”
I asked, “What should we do?”
He sighed heavily and pulled me closer. “Hope she calls.”
We stayed on the balcony until the sun fully set. Watching the fireworks light up the sky as New Year’s approached was how we spent the rest of our night.
February…
Entering Dr. Bell & Associates holding the hand of my first and only love took away some of the anxiety I felt about seeing Dr. Cartright for my post-surgical visit.
Seven weeks ago, I experienced the worst night of my life.
The fear of death touched me in a way that made me apprehensive to even enter the very place I’d worked at for years.
I helped save lives, and now here I was, shaking like a leaf walking inside here.
Everyone clapped and hugged me as if they hadn’t seen me at the Christmas party. Still, I hugged each one of them tightly. As apprehensive as I was about stepping through those doors, I was happy to be here and around people who genuinely cared for me.
My office looked untouched but there wasn’t a speck of dust in sight. The drapery covering the floor-to-ceiling window was pulled back to allow natural lighting to come in, and there were at least ten dozen bouquets of flowers stuffed inside the large space.
Teary-eyed, I went through each bouquet and read each note attached to them.
We work together. Love, A. D. S.
We lay together. Love, A. D. S.
We play together. Love, A. D. S.
We pray together. Love, A. D. S.
We break bread together. Love, A. D. S.
We make the best memories together. Love, A. D. S.
With each note, I was unable to hold back my emotions.
“You like them?” Antonias asked.
Smiling, I said, “I never would’ve thought you were so romantic.”
His face frowned playfully. Chuckling, I went into his open arms and squeezed him just as tightly as he squeezed me.
“Let’s get this visit over, so we can go have lunch by the lake and talk about our next move. Cool?”
“Cool,” I echoed.
Just then, Auntie Maddie peeked her head into my office. She was radiant, glowing, and…pregnant! I squealed with delight.
“Shh!” she playfully hissed. “How the hell could you even tell? I have these big ass clothes on.”
“Exactly!” I exclaimed as I hugged her tightly. I was crying like her baby was mine.
Amused, Antonias shook his head.
Maddie hugged me back and said, “I’m announcing the baby to the family soon. Can you keep it a secret?”
“Absolutely! I’m so happy for you, Auntie!” Despite my situation, I was ecstatic for my auntie. She’d gone from losing nearly everything to having it given back to her with interest. Her story hit me in my chest. If she could recover from loss and come out whole on the other side, then I could too.
“All is well with you, my dear,” she said and hugged me once more before disappearing out of the door.
“Ready?” Antonias asked.
I nodded. “Let’s get this over with.”
Minutes later, Dr. Cartright walked into the exam room and hugged me. “It’s good to see you,” he said.
My face said it all, causing him to laugh.
“Everything’s gon’ be fine,” he assured me.
As he got my exam underway, I found myself staring at the ceiling and struggling to concentrate on his voice and not my insecurities. He explained how my body would feel, all the changes that I should’ve started feeling so far, and what to expect in the coming months.
“We’ve preserved eggs for you, should you wish to use them in the future.”
My brain misfired, and I snatched my gaze from the ceiling to peer at Dr. Cartright.
“What did you say?”
He repeated himself and said, “Antonias demanded we do so.” Humor laced his statement.
My heartbeat sped up. Of course! I was a whole damn nurse! Of course, I had other options! Sensing the light bulb had just pinged inside my head, Dr. Cartright sighed.
“That’s how grief works,” he said calmly. “It makes you remember the tragedy, sit in the sorrow, and wrestle with reality. It makes you blind to see anything good anymore. Our mentality faces everything with a but and never an in spite of. Grief robs us of the opportunity to hope.”
If anyone understood grief, Dr. Cartright did. He was a widower who lost both his wife and son on the table during his wife’s emergency Cesarean section.
He helped me sit up, then covered my body. “Your body has healed perfectly.” Tapping my chest he said, “This needs to be next. Your children are destined to be here, Bianca. Don’t allow how they get here to discourage or depress you. Aight?”
Nodding, I whispered, “Thank you.”
All the times I rejected Antonias, and he’d stood over me, determined to give me life. Without a shred of my love, he showed me love in my weakest hour. I would never doubt him again.
“Taste this,” I said to Antonias. I held a folded tortilla full of steak, green, yellow, and red peppers, onions, guacamole, sour cream, and cheese to his lips. He opened and took the biggest bite, causing me to giggle and clean the sour cream from the corner of his mouth.
Our tasty lunch came at the skilled hands of Margarite Suarez. Gion and Margarite arrived at the farm last night. Seeing them put a smile on Antonias’s face that I knew was how his heart permanently felt. As always, his parents welcomed me with open arms.
The weather was cool and mild today. Wrapped in fleece and thick socks, Antonias and I sat by the lake eating and listening to nature play sounds that soothed the most chaotic soul.
With each passing day that I spent at the farm, I didn’t want to leave.
From feeding the goats, gathering eggs, and watching the Big Three tend to the land, I loved everything about this life.
“How do you leave this place for the city?” I asked.
“Normally, it’s not hard to walk away. I come here for peace and quiet.
Back in the day, I didn’t appreciate this place for what it was.
I found any and every reason to run away.
Now… I couldn’t imagine not having this place.
” He glanced at me, took my hand, then tugged me until we were close enough for my head to rest on his shoulder.
“Being here with you has created imagery that makes it hard to leave this place. This is where we finally agreed that we can’t live without each other. ”
“Right,” I mumbled and pecked his scruffy cheek. Somehow that ended with us gazing into each other’s eyes. The sun highlighted the light specks embedded in his irises.
Our lips joined, which started off slowly.
Soon after, we kissed so furiously that everything around me drowned out.
All I could hear was the sound of Antonias’s heart pounding as the kiss grew deeper.
When he laid me down, my body sang with joy.
Making love by the lake wasn’t how I pictured my first time taking place.
However, in the moment, I just wanted Antonias.
He undressed me with care. The first place his lips touched was my abdomen. His constant reassurance in tandem with his tender care made me soft as butter for him. He’d seen my body too many times to count. Yet, he reverenced it as if he’d never laid eyes on me before.
Weeping Willow trees were strategically placed around us, and they were curtains that hid Antonias as he undressed himself.
He maintained eye contact with me as he stripped his clothes from his body.
I relaxed on the thick blanket, anxiously awaiting the moment where I would be tied to his body for a lifetime.
He joined me, hovering over me and kissing down my body.
Often, he pleased me this way. The further his lips went, the more I squirmed and begged him to touch the place where juices flowed from the mere thought of him.
Finally, his tongue sought refuge inside my wet tunnel.
He lapped me up as I cried out with pleasure. This shit would never get old.
Minutes later, the protrusion of his dick forced my eyes to glaze over. He groaned deeply in his throat, as I didn’t tense up. Relaxing, I was prepared for this, ready for this. As he pushed inside of me, a flood of tears emerged from the pain I felt.
He kissed my tears away and said, “You’re so perfect. I’m the luckiest man to ever exist.”
Right there by the lake, Antonias took my virginity. As he held my trembling body close to his, I kissed along his neck and promised to love him forever.