Chapter 10
My chest pulses, blood oozing from the slashed skin. Taking two stairs at a time, I stride into my room. Blake is right behind me, following me into the bathroom. He cups his neck with both hands.
“Man, what the fuck?”
I grip the edge of the sink and hunch over. I am so hyped up I’d take this world apart piece by piece to avenge Celine, to cure her of her pain. I know it’s her way of showing me how much I hurt her. I will take her anger until she’s done—until nothing is left of us.
Rummaging through the cabinet, I pull out some disinfectant and tape.
“Man…”
“I can take it.”
“Yes, well, we can’t… How do you think we’ll ever be comfortable leaving you two alone? What if Grandmother finds out.”
I snap my head at him. “She’ll never find out.”
“Protecting your enemy?”
I flinch at the truth of his words. The love of my life turned into the woman set to destroy me. How dramatic, a requiem to failed love.
“This stays between us. We can use it to our advantage, making Grandmother believe there is friction between us.”
“What makes you think Celine will play along?”
“She doesn’t want Grandmother to find out either. We all have our secrets.”
And I will discover hers.
When he leaves, I take a shower and pummel the wall until my knuckles split, cracking like my chest. I want Celine blanketed in my love, my arms, my kisses.
All she wants is fights, tears, and dents.
I treat the wound, hissing but smiling at the name carved into my chest. Wearing my truth feels right. Entering my room, I find Abigail pacing around.
“Bailey cried. I will always trust you, but Celine is out of control, and you still love her too much to see she’s a danger.”
“Bailey needs to toughen up and fast.”
“Kaden—”
“Abigail. Not now.”
“Don’t Abigail me. This is messed up, and you’re closing yourself off.”
A grumble vibrates in my throat.
“Not that you were Mr. Sunshine before, but now…”
“Let’s go to class.”
“Fine.” She storms out, not waiting for me.
I pat the necklace, drawing strength from it like the whipped idiot I am. Our fight started because of the necklace Celine says means nothing.
Lies. I will confront her with the truth until it forces its way out of her throat, just like yesterday.
I fucking go mental when she acts like she has a right to me when she’s all over Hunter.
At that thought alone, I could dig a hole through another wall.
Outside, my car is gone, and there’s a note on hers.
Take mine.
She should work on her apology. I shove the note into my jacket pocket and get in her car.
I look for her in between classes, but I can’t find her anywhere. Checking her location, my phone tells me she’s not here but at an auto repair shop in the city.
Giddiness replaces the gloom.
Blake intercepts me. “Man, you have it bad for her.”
His eyes fall on Mia, perusing her from head to toe. That’s interesting.
“Quite intense for a mission.”
He flips me off and they walk side by side. They round the corner when my eyes land on Hunter, whisper-shouting into his phone. I bet he’s talking to Celine. She drives me insane too.
I do what I’ve never done before: assess a guy. He is the same height as me, and his gray eyes stop girls in their tracks, like a few do now while he smiles knowingly. Celine prefers this guy over me? Her fault, or maybe I should shove her off the pedestal I put her on. Now, how do I get my heart to do that as well?
Our eyes collide, and we step toward each other.
“Your girlfriend is busy repairing my car.”
“What did she do now?” he asks through gritted teeth.
It’s not jealousy but anger I detect in his strained voice.
I am missing something here.
“She bumped into my car again. Either she needs to learn how to park, or she’s doing it on purpose.”
“It’s the latter. Just stay out of her way.”
“She’s in my house.” I clench my fists, forcing myself not to knock out his perfect teeth.
“Just for a while. Hold on a little bit longer, and we’ll be out of your hair.”
He leaves me even more rattled than before. If she doesn’t intend to stay, why did she come back in the first place?
I’ll tie her to my bed and get the answers out of her if I have to.
***
After this morning’s events, my three best friends and I huddle together in the theater room, eating popcorn.
The door opens, and everyone stills, holding their breaths.
“I love this movie,” Celine says.
“Of course you do. You thrive on violence,” Abigail replies, shaking her head at her.
Celine approaches and snatches my popcorn. I snake my arm around her waist and drag her down to my lap. Her eyes widen, and then she peers at Abigail, who’s looking straight ahead at the screen.
I lean into her, whispering in her ear. “Need permission to sit on your husband’s lap?”
She mumbles something unintelligible, and Abigail exhales heavily, losing patience. “Do whatever you two can’t refrain from doing, but let’s just watch this one movie in peace.”
Celine looks at her quizzically before she sweeps her gaze to me. My brow arches in a challenge, and then she plops into my lap, not being able to resist it.
She pops some kernels in her mouth. With every second, she relaxes, and I do too. I can’t believe she’s in my arms. I wish we’d be like this all the time.
I open my mouth, and she throws a piece of popcorn at me, but I catch it with no problem. A smile arches the corners of her lips, and I smile back automatically. I’d sell my soul to prolong these precious moments when I can hold her.
I caress her back, and she snuggles into me. My heart liquefies, pouring straight into her hand. Celine places her cheek on my chest, and I trace a line down the valley of her hip, not able to refrain from touching her.
“This is not a peace offering.”
“Then what is it?”
She gulps, looking at me. The answer is obvious: weakness, love, hurt, and most of all, inability to stay away. Then, let’s pretend for a few hours that this is our life, surrounded by family and being together.
Tomorrow we’ll forget we gave in again.
She falls asleep in my arms, and her floral scent, her delicate frame, everything about her puts me at ease. The familiarity is undeniable.
When the movie ends, Blake turns the screen off and walks out, followed by a sleepy Bailey.
Abigail stands up and says, emotions clear in her soft voice, “Oh, Kaden.”
I let Abigail see me like this, flayed open with vulnerability.
“She’s my world.”
“Yes, well, she can potentially burn your world to a crisp.”
“I don’t care.”
“Then tell her the truth. I have seen you desolate and cunning, but never in these two years like you are right now. And I love you. I want you to have the life you deserve.”
“I can’t have both, and I don’t trust her.”
She squeezes my shoulder and looks at Celine. “At least when she sleeps, she reminds me of the old version of her.”
“You thought that version of her was too soft.”
“I was protective of her, but now I respect her.”
Abi is at the door when she calls my name. I look at her from over my shoulder.
“She must trust you to hold her when she’s at her most vulnerable.”
I turn Celine to the side, but her face scrunches up and she wraps herself around me. Oh baby, you’re fucking killing me.
I drag a blanket and cover us, holding her to my chest.
She sobs in her sleep and my chest tightens. I kiss her eyes, her face, and her lips, needing to comfort her.
“Shh, it’s just a bad dream. I’m here.”
“Kaden?”
“Yes, baby.”
A smile teases her lips, slicing pieces of my heart.
“Tell me the truth,” I whisper to her. “Why did you come back?”
“To take them down.”
I freeze and spend the rest of the night watching her, going over her words. Them? It can only mean the Family. Is she fucking delusional?
When she wakes up, she observes me intently.
I arch a brow at her. “Planning new ways to make me bleed?”
“What can I say? I like you bleeding.”
I expel a deep sigh. She’s trying to gain the control she thinks she relinquished last night. I knew it would happen, but still I hoped. Misery once again chokes the life essence out of me.
Deflated, I push myself off the couch.
“I got your car fixed.”
Sweetness rolls out of her sinful lips. I know she did something.
When I find Blake outside holding his stomach, Bailey suppressing a smile, and Abigail analyzing my car as if she doesn’t know what to think, I get my answer. I move closer to it and my jaw drops. Yellow stars pepper both sides of my black car.
“I’m sure that’s neon,” Abi says.
“And reflective,” Bailey adds.
I cock my head, grinning. “This girl is insane.”
“Yes, and your voice says you have no problem with that,” Blake says.
They don’t get it, but I do. My sky full of stars––the night sky. You won’t let me forget. You don’t want me to, do you?
I smile like a fool the entire day.
Not only do my classmates look incredulously at me, but my professors do too.
When classes end, I head to my car, and Celine is leaning against the hood. A recurring thing that keeps my hope alive. She trails a finger up and down it, while I salivate to trail my tongue up and down her legs. Every day, it gets harder and harder to suppress my desire for her.
“Do you like it?”
“I love it.”
Her eyebrows knit. I guess her vandalism backfired.
“It has a feminine touch.”
“I’m quite anchored in my masculinity, so…”
She squints at me as I reach her.
“I would have informed you, but I don’t have your phone number…”
“Ah, fishing for it?”
To bait me, because she loves to drive me crazy, she plucks her phone out of her bag and waves it at me.
She leans into me. “Hmm, you don’t deserve it.”
I wrap my hand around her neck, caressing her flickering pulse.
“I could fuck you right here, and you’d let me because that’s how bad you want me, how mad you are about me.”
“You’re a damn cancer eating at my insides.”
“One of these days, I’m going to spread you on my hood, eat you out until my jaw gets sore, and take you like you want me to—hard, rough, and unapologetic.”
Goose bumps erupt on her neck, and I use her dazed expression to snatch her phone, then hold it in front of her face, unlocking the screen. She shakes herself off and kicks me in my shoulder.
“One day, it’ll be payback time. I’m going to stuff you full with my cock and have no mercy while pounding you raw.”
She remains silent, imagining just that from the lustful haze crossing her eyes.
I call my number, and she says, “I’ll block you.”
I know she wants to, but she won’t because she is as sick as I am.
“No, because you don’t want to miss my messages.”
With that, I sidestep her and hop into my car, staring at her round ass. I am dying to get my hands on it and bite into her cheeks until I leave my mark. Oh, you will be mine again, even this version of you. Everything of you has always been mine. You belong to me, and nothing in this world can change that.
I roll down the window and slap her ass. She shrieks, but before she can react, I drive away, looking in the rearview mirror at her as she shouts profanities at me.
Not even a few minutes after I walk in, she blares through the front door of our house, contradicting herself.
“You’re… You know what? I’m done giving you what you want.”
“You haven’t even started giving me what I want from you.”
She juts her nose up and goes into the kitchen. I follow her, watching her make herself a bowl of yogurt with various fruits and nuts. Stealing her spoon, I take a bite, licking my lips.
Her retort dies on her lips when my stomach grumbles.
She shoves the bowl in my hand and prepares another one.
Her gesture fills my chest with warmth. This is what I missed. A bit of care, and now that I’ve seen it, my knees threaten to give out on me.
“Getting soft on me all because of a snack? You must be starved for love.”
“Why do you ruin every fucking moment we have, Celine?”
Forgetting my hunger and my good mood, I storm away, leaving the uneaten bowl. She’s right. I am used to starving.
At my desk, I open my laptop and finish my coursework, desperate for some distraction.
When Celine slips inside my room, it takes everything in me to ignore her. Her presence fills up the space, creating in me an insatiable longing.
She puts a plate with a steak and a salad on the side in front of me.
“It’s not poisoned.”
“I know, because you can’t live without me.”
She’s silent as she pushes the plate to me. I give in and eat.
A groan slips free. “Thank you. It tastes amazing.”
While I watch her, her eyes sweep around the room. There isn’t much to see. A king-sized bed, a desk, an ensuite bathroom, and a dressing room. There’s nothing personal in here. I learned my lesson the hard way.
“How was it?” I ask.
“How was what?”
“Being sent away to London. You know… boarding school.”
“The weather was awful, and the people… so self-absorbed. I was used to milder weather and a sky full of stars. And you.”
I take another bite to avoid interrupting her.
“But I found my family there too, and I became a person who doesn’t need anyone else. I thought you pushed me away because I relied on you so much.”
“Sky… you can believe anything you want, but never that… I did that––”
“I’m not interested in what you have to say.”
“Then how can you understand my reasoning?”
“I was your weakness. You got rid of your weakness.”
I push myself off the chair and grip her hands. “And I would do it again a thousand times over.”
“You bastard.”
She tries to wiggle out of my hold when I say, “I had to protect you.”
“Whatever you tell yourself to feel better.”
I drag a hand down my face. The pain I see in her eyes kills me.
“What about me, huh, husband?” She lifts her eyes, her chin quivering. “What about asking me what I wanted because anything would have been better than that. You were not only my lover, soul mate, and best friend; you were my family and you just…”
She gulps, and I inch toward her.
“Don’t you dare touch me! I hate you. I hate you so much. You are poison, and I am so done drinking it like it’s my life elixir.”
She yanks the door open, and my hurt turns to anger. “I betray the memory of the girl I’ve loved all my life, every damn time, because I want this version of you just as fucking much.”