Chapter Eight
Robbie
We showered together. And managed to get off a second time. Not a huge age gap—me in my mid-twenties and him in his mid-thirties. Although, clearly, a ton of difference in experience.
Which didn’t bother me. I was happy to have him show me how things could be when true feelings were involved.
The few guys before him paled in comparison.
The care he showed toward me… Well, bottoming with a guy you barely knew was always risky, but he’d taken care of me.
Had even offered to switch later, if I wanted.
Later? Yes, please. Top…? Maybe in the future. That wasn’t what I enjoyed. Getting my prostate nailed over and over again? Sign me up.
Mostly dry, we snuggled in his bed, under the comforter. I’d never stayed the night, so this was a new experience for me. He’d let a comment slip that he’d hardly brought guys back here. Something about a roommate who was gone now.
I hoped that comment meant I could come over often.
Putting the cart ahead of the horse, as Mother would say.
My parents weren’t bad people—they just couldn’t reconcile my lifestyle with the teachings of the church.
So we’d parted ways. I’d struggled to find people of my own.
The members of the team at work definitely helped out as I’d settled into the job.
Which looped me back to where this whole affair started.
Brody held me in his arms. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Huh?”
“Stefan. Do you want to talk about it? I’m good either way, but I miss him a lot and so don’t mind—”
“I made an ass of myself and should’ve apologized and then…he died.” Such a simple explanation for such a complex series of events.
Brody stroked my hair. “What happened?”
“Like…even though he was going to be my sort-of boss…” I drew in a deep breath. “I hit on him. Because he was gorgeous, and he gave off this vibe, and…yeah.”
He chuckled. “Oops.”
“Right? Only after I’d made an ass of myself, which I’ve already said and will repeat over and over, did I realize my mistake.
I bolted.” I let out a long breath. “And he kept trying to talk to me, and I kept making up excuses. Then…” I winced.
“One day, I mean, mere days after he started, and I made that blunder, we wound up at the door of the practice at the same time. I was coming in as he was going out. He said we absolutely had to talk when he got back, but he was just running across the street. The light turned green, he jogged off, and—” I bit my lower lip.
“—that car came out of nowhere. I didn’t even have time to warn him. It hit him, he went flying, and…”
“Jesus, Robbie, I’m so sorry.” His hoarse voice hit me square in the chest.
But I had to keep going—whether for his sake or for mine, I wasn’t certain.
“And I ran. I mean all the other traffic had stopped, and I ran. I knew not to move him, but I held his hand. And someone was calling 911. Someone was yelling at the driver and how they could smell the alcohol on his breath. I just…held his hand. And apologized over and over again. Told him how he had to survive because we needed to have that talk, and I was so fucking sorry.”
“The police said he died instantly.”
I winced. I was not going to talk about the blood and…
other stuff…from his head wound. I’d known.
Was smart enough to recognize death. I just hadn’t wanted to believe I’d never have the chance to apologize.
“He did, Brody. Clearly no pain. Just…gone. But I didn’t want him to be alone.
Then the paramedics and the cops arrived, and…
” I swallowed my grief. “I became a witness.”
“Ah, you’re the one. The police officer said you were a coworker and friend. I didn’t know if anyone showed up at the funeral. I was…grief-stricken.”
“I couldn’t do it. Just…this was my first real brush with death.
Both sets of grandparents were older, and they passed when I was young.
I’d certainly never seen death up close like that.
I was still reeling, and Maurice, our lead dentist, told me I could do whatever was best for me.
My coworker Alrick took me home and took care of me that day.
The next day, that was…just going back to work and pretending nothing ever happened. Then I saw you and…”
He tugged me a little closer. “I need to tell you something.”
“Okay.” I wasn’t certain I wanted to hear, but whatever he needed to share, I owed him the decency of listening.
“Well, Stefan had an interesting life. Growing up with a gay twin brother that you're mistaken for all the time means you're used to gay guys accusing you of kissing them and never calling them again...
Or propositioning you in dark car parks.
Oh, the things my brother had to do because of me.
" He chuckled. “He was always such a good sport about it. I’m certain he was trying to tell you it was okay.”
“Yeah, he probably was. I was just…I’d never put myself out there like that, you know? I wear nice clothes to try to impress people, but I’m kind of shy.”
He kissed the top of my head. “You weren’t shy tonight. Look how you charmed one of the most famous women in Vancouver. That was impressive. Most people meet Julie and become tongue-tied.”
I managed a watery laugh. “Anyone who wasn’t threatening to dismember me didn’t intimidate me. Don’t forget to text Hallstein.”
“You’re really scared of him.”
I shrugged. “More like I want to remain intact. That guy’s intense.”
“The shooting…”
“Yeah. You said that was before he came.”
“True. But he worries about a repeat. Or about anything else bad that might happen to his people. He’s…protective. Myles loves it. He feels cherished and is happy.”
I sighed.
“What?”
“I just…I don’t know what that’s like.”
He stilled. “Do you want to? Not the obsessive protection part—because even Hallstein will accept the criticism that he goes overboard sometimes. But the part about being cherished? Loved?”
I considered. “With the right person? Yeah. I don’t enjoy being single. Or just hooking up. But I want to be in a relationship where I’m an equal partner. Where I’m bringing something to the table as well.”
“Jesus, Robbie. You’ve had a number done on you. Of course you’re perfect just the way you are. You’d be bringing you to the relationship—that’s all a partner should need. The rest is just window dressing.”
Can it really be that simple? I have no assets, a few hundred dollars in my bank account, and a professional wardrobe for a job that pays well, but barely covers the rent. I fingered his chest hair. “Are you in the market for a new roommate?”
“Am I…?” He chuckled. “Sorry, sex brain. I had to think about that for a moment. I’m always open to a new roommate. As long as he graces my bed once in a while.”
“That would be an interesting ad in the Georgia Strait.”
He laughed. “Yeah.” He ran his hand along my arm. “But there’s really only one person who fits the bill.”
I angled my neck so I could meet his gaze. “Really?”
He nodded.
“This is crazy.”
He nodded. “You can keep your apartment for now if you want. Can you sublet? So you’ll have a place if things don’t work out.”
“Do you think they won’t work out?”
“No, I don’t.” He blinked. “I think I’ve…” He cleared his throat. “I want you to stay.”
“Then I’ll stay. That simple.”
“Okay then.” He yawned. “I’ll shoot a text off to Hallstein, and then we’re sleeping until noon.”
I scooted up his body to press a kiss to his lips. “And then you’ll ravage me?”
“Fuck yes.”
And so he did.
Then, around one, we grabbed Minnie from Jenn.
Instantly, the mastiff and I hit it off. I’d grown up with working dogs, so having a dog just for pleasure was…unexpected. So was the drool, but she only did that when she was super excited or when she thought she might be getting food.
And I just…stayed.