Chapter 13
Jay wasn’t smiling when he finally arrived at Parker’s condo. Later than expected.
“What took you so long?” Parker demanded.
“I was talking with Cynthia. I forgot we were supposed to go out,” Jay said as he laid a six-pack of IPA on Parker’s kitchen
counter.
“I bet that went well when you canceled.”
“I didn’t cancel. I postponed. I’m taking her out to eat after I’m done with you. So, start thinking fast,” Jay said.
Parker shook his head.
“What?” Jay demanded.
“The hoop jumping is beginning. You’re going to owe her big-time on V-Day.”
Jay frowned. “It shouldn’t be called Valentine’s Day. It should be called Empty Your Pockets Day.”
Parker laughed. “Now you sound like me. But you’re right. She’ll expect you to spend money, count on it,” he said, remembering
the many demands Luna had put on him—a weekend getaway, flowers, candy. And, of course, dinner out on The Day.
And where was the ring? Boy, had the teary pout been pulled out over that romantic fail. Her eyes had been teary, but his had been opened. He would never be enough. After that was when he’d begun to disentangle himself. And then wound up in a big tangle of drama.
Jay was lucky to be seeing the writing on the wall early. “This one’s not a keeper, trust me,” Parker said.
Was there a woman out there somewhere who was? Someone who didn’t come loaded with expectations and make demands? Someone
who wanted to be friends as well as lovers? Who just wanted to be romantic on Valentine’s Day?
Romantic. He couldn’t believe he’d just used that word. Cringe. Anyway, he already knew the answer. That kind of woman was extinct.
“She’s just been brainwashed,” said Jay. “You’re right. Women these days . . . we can’t win.”
“Which is why we’re done talking about this stuff,” Parker said. “We need to bring our focus back on sports, return to our
original format.”
Would that help get him a book deal? Probably more than if he was all over the internet dating a romance writer. Except his book had been focused on the kind of thing they were talking about on the show.
“Is that gonna keep your listeners tuning in? We get more calls when you’re doing your Let It Out segment than any other time,”
Jay reminded him. “Unless you’ve got a guest on.”
“We’ll get more guests then. Bring back sports trivia day. We’re a sports program, and that’s what we’re gonna talk about.
And not women’s sports,” Parker added.
“Yeah? You gonna tell that to Harlan?” Jay challenged.
“You bet your butt I am,” Parker said.
Jay shook his head and grabbed a beer. “Houston, we got a problem.”
The two men sat in silence, Jay sipping his beer, Parker drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair.
“Okay, I’ve got it,” Jay said at last with a satisfied grin, and Parker braced himself.
“This latest—” Harlan shook his head “—mess, it’s not good. Ben’s not happy.”
Unlike Harlan, Benjamin Stricklund was a jock, and he liked Parker. He’d even thought Parker’s poking fun at sports romances
was a good idea when the lines were lighting up every morning.
“It’s making you look . . .” The head shaking continued. Harlan was a bobblehead who didn’t know the right way to bobble.
“What?” Parker demanded, going on the offensive.
“Not good. I met with both Ben and Joe.”
The station manager and the general manager. Yep, not good.
“They both think this latest development makes you look like a fool, and that makes the station look bad. And that’s bad,”
Harlan finished, in case Parker hadn’t gotten the message.
He had. He gripped the arm of his chair and tried to look calm.
“So, what are you going to do to fix this?” Harlan wanted to know.
“I’m going back to strictly sports,” said Parker. “More guests. We’ve got Jerome Riddle lined up for tomorrow.”
“And we did sports trivia this morning. We had a lot of calls,” put in Jay.
Several of them had been guys calling in to taunt Parker about his mother. He decided it was best not to mention that.
He didn’t need to. “I heard the show,” Harlan said.
“Thanks to that picture with the romance writer your listeners are getting disillusioned, and you need to fix that before they go somewhere else. You need to shore up your image, show them you haven’t changed, that you’re still a man’s man and not a wimp. ”
This coming from the king of the wimps. “I am,” Parker said. “A man’s man,” he added, just to clarify.
“You need to cement that image. If you lose your fans, you lose your ratings.”
For a small, skinny guy, Harlan sure was good at intimidation. Parker frowned.
“And Jay, as his producer, you know this affects you, too,” Harlan continued.
Jay frowned. “I know, Harlan. We all want Parker’s show and the station to do well. And we’re on it,” he added, then proceeded
to share the idea Parker had vetoed during their brainstorming session.
“Man-on-the-street interview, huh?” Harlan said and gave his pen a thoughtful tap on his desk blotter.
“It’ll be good,” said Jay. “It’ll bring out his fans. We’ll make it . . . lighthearted. Fun.”
“Fun for who?” Parker grumbled.
“I really don’t like the man-on-the-street idea,” Parker said as they moved down the hall. “I told you I didn’t want to do
it and you did it anyway. Thanks for that.”
“Hey, I’m trying to get some points on the board for our team. You gotta do something to save face. Listeners are eating up
this man v woman stuff. Guys will love it, trust me.”
Parker grunted. He didn’t trust anyone, not even himself. “You threw me a curveball in there and I didn’t appreciate it.”
“I’m trying to save our butts, man,” Jay said.
“You’re putting them in a sling,” Parker accused.
But it wasn’t fair to blame Jay entirely for this latest development. Parker had been more than willing to fire the opening salvo in a battle of the sexes. And he’d been so sure of himself he’d even written a book.
So why was he balking at this? He still believed everything he’d written in that book, everything he’d said on air.
Didn’t he?
Of course, he did. Someone needed to encourage men to stand up for themselves, to quit jumping through all those hoops women
made them jump through. And did he want to look like a fool? Of course, he didn’t. The thought of that nasty picture roaming
the internet decided him. The meme of Alice seemed to have died but the romance community was sure keeping him front and center
as a villain on social media. So why not hit back? It would make Harlan happy. Maybe it would make him happy, too.
“Okay, set it up,” he said. “We’ll take a poll, see how many men out there think that women need to back off on dissing them.”
Anyway, he needed to come full circle and end where he started if he was going to squash those lingering jabs and snarky comments
about him being a closet romance reader and a hypocrite.
“I’ll get it set up,” Jay promised.
Jay would set it up, Parker would make his appearance, put in a good word for all the maligned men in the US, and that would
be that. Then they’d move on, back to the world of sports where the rules never changed and the players knew exactly where
they stood and what was expected of them.
Parker slept well that night, and he was happy the next morning to welcome his Uncle Jerome to the show to talk about current
issues in the NFL.
“Safety is a challenge,” Uncle Jerome admitted as they discussed one of the major ones, “although more measures are being
taken to ensure players’ safety.”
“Not sure that message is getting through though,” said Parker. “Youth participation is starting to fall off.”
“I can’t blame parents for being concerned, although not every player ends up with CTE from brain injury. The odds are a lot
worse for boxers.”
“I know you came out of your time with the Kansas City Chiefs okay,” said Parker.
“Got enough brain cells left to write,” said Uncle Jerome. “I do like the fact that Pop Warner and the NFL are offering flag
football leagues for kids. They still get the game strategy and the exercise. And I believe sports in general are good. You
learn discipline and teamwork. And, I have to say, football was good to me.”
“After that you were a cop, so you know both worlds pretty well,” said Parker.
“That’s what I’m comfortable writing about. Write what you know, they say. Makes research easier.”
“We talked about your latest book, Touchdown, when it first came out. That was on the bestseller list for weeks. It centers around a messed-up football player with CTE.
Were you kind of on a crusade to raise awareness more when you wrote it?” Parker asked, giving his uncle a lead-in to talk
about his book again.
“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” said his uncle. “Sometimes you just want to tell a good story. Although, I’ve got to admit,
this is something I’ve been following for a while.”
“How important do you think it is to get your facts right when you’re writing a book?” Parker asked. That question hadn’t
been on his list, but he couldn’t help asking.
“Well, nobody gets everything perfect, but I think it’s important to try.”
“You know, we’ve read some pretty bad books on the show lately, and some of the worst researched seem to be the ones that are supposed to be about sports but are really just about hooking up.”
Uncle Jerome’s eyes narrowed, a sure sign that he wasn’t happy with his nephew’s surprise attack. Parker certainly hadn’t
planned it. He just couldn’t seem to help himself.
So much for strictly sports on the show from now on.
“Like I said, we all try to get it right,” Uncle Jerome continued. “Every athlete, whether amateur or pro, works hard to be
consistent, but we’re not robots. Sometimes you miss the mark, miss the shot, your timing is off. It happens to writers, too.
Every athlete tries to give his or her best to the team and every writer tries to give his or her best story to the reader.”
The firm set of his jaw told Parker that was all he was going to get.