Chapter 31 #4
He’d tried so hard to get to her as she repeatedly screamed his name.
But he didn’t have his prosthesis or crutches.
He’d finally dropped to the ground and combat crawled, but he couldn’t move fast enough.
The louder and more terrified her screams became, the harder it was to move.
Until suddenly the screams stopped and a terrifying silence consumed him.
“Damon!” Gabe scowled at him. "How many have you done?"
"I lost count."
"You're only supposed to do three sets of ten. I think you've done double that."
Damon stopped lunging but didn't look at Gabe.
"You okay?" Gabe's quiet question had him looking up. The physical therapist's eyes narrowed.
"I'm fine." It was little more than a grunt.
It was a lie, but Damon didn’t want to cause a scene by telling Gabe why he was so upset.
Gabe gave a curt nod and motioned to the Total Gym. "Okay then, time for squats."
"I want to do my squats free standing, not on that." If he did them on the Total Gym, Gabe would slant the board, so he was only doing his squats at fifty or sixty percent. He needed a harder workout than that today.
"Fine." Gabe instructed Damon to stand near the treadmill, so he had something to grab onto if he lost his balance. "Don't overdo it. Shallow squats only." Gabe started walking away, then he turned back. "Three sets of ten."
Less than a minute later, Gabe chewed him out for doing too deep of squats. Frustrated, Damon lightened up. Despite the shaking in his left thigh, this wasn't working for him. He needed a hard workout to drive thoughts of Grace being violated from his head. He wanted to kick or punch something.
"What are you trying to prove?" Gabe's voice beside Damon made him jump.
"What do you mean?"
"Why are you punishing yourself?"
"I'm not."
"You look like you're trying to drive out demons from inside here." Gabe tapped the side of his head. Then he shifted his hand to his chest. "Or here."
Not my demons. Or maybe they are now that I know what Grace went through.
He sank into another squat. More than anything, he wanted to be the man Grace needed him to be, but he had to get his own crap together first.
"Stop already." Gabe's voice was firm. "You've done like fifty squats."
Damon stopped, paused for a heartbeat, then headed to the wooden boxes that mimicked climbing stairs.
Gabe put a hand against Damon's chest, stopping him in his tracks. "What's going on, man?"
"Nothing."
"You've only been coming here for a couple weeks. I've admired your drive and determination. But this...the way you're pushing yourself... It's dangerous. You're going to injure yourself." When Damon didn’t respond, Gabe went on. "Does this have something to do with Grace?"
Damon gave Gabe a sharp look.
"From your reaction, I assume it does." Gabe glanced around the room before turning back to Damon.
Damon's jaw clenched. It was his turn to look around the room. He didn't want to talk about what happened to Grace in this room where their conversation could easily be overheard by the other patients and Gabe's assistant, Luke.
"Let's talk." Gabe motioned with his head to the small consultation room in the corner.
Damon was reluctant to follow when he walked away. He needed to vent, but he was afraid he’d end up taking his frustrations out on Gabe.
When he didn't follow, the look Gabe gave him from the doorway of the small room was exactly what he'd expected to see after he broke Grace's heart.
Wishing his gait was normal already, Damon hobbled across the gym and into the consultation room. He dropped into a chair and stared at the wall.
Gabe dragged a chair from the opposite corner and placed it in front of Damon. "I know Grace made you dinner at your house last night. So, what happened?"
Damon didn’t speak. If he did, he’d lose control of the emotions he’d been reigning in since last night.
"Spill it." Gabe crossed his legs at the ankle and folded his arms over his chest. "You're not leaving until you tell me what went down between you and my sister."
It was then that Damon realized Gabe had positioned himself between him and the door. Being unsteady on his feet put Damon at a disadvantage.
“She told me...” Damon’s hands balled into fists. “...about what happened to her...when she was sixteen.”
Gabe's eyes widened, then his brows dropped low. "And you’re upset at the choices she made when you can't possibly understand what she went through?" His shoulders hunched, his posture defensive.
“What? No.” Damon shook his head. “Yes, I’m upset but not at Grace.” He balled his fists. “I want to punch something or someone, especially that Ryker guy.”
“I punched a hole in the wall of my bedroom when I found out what happened to her.” One corner of Gabe’s mouth lifted. “Then I made it a little bigger when Grace refused to press charges.”
“It kills me to think about what she suffered in that laundry room and all she went through the following year.”
“She shed a lot of tears. We all did.” The muscle in Gabe’s jaw jumped, and Damon realized he was clenching his jaw as well.
Damon’s fists balled. “And the guy just got away with it.”
“Not entirely.” A sly grin covered Gabe’s face. “I wrote a carefully worded, anonymous letter to the university that offered him the scholarship, explaining what he did. I told them that it never went to trial because the victim felt threatened and unsafe.”
“Please tell me he lost his scholarship.”
“He did.” Gabe nodded then pinned Damon with a glare. “Be careful how you react around Grace. It took a long time for her to heal. If she knows how badly it upsets you, it could cause a relapse. She needs to know you’re a safe space.”
It took every ounce of Damon’s self-control last night to be compassionate and not show her how livid he was. He’d wanted so badly to curse and throw something.
He surged to his feet now. With nowhere to go, he laced his hands behind his head and turned in a circle. “So I’m just supposed to pretend that I’m not furious? That my heart doesn’t ache for her; for the girl whose innocent was stolen by such a barbaric act?”
“No. But you get it out before you see her again. She’s already shouldered this burden. She shouldn’t have to do it again because you’re struggling to accept it.”
“You’re right.” Damon sighed and dropped into his chair again. “It’s not like I know how to help her anyway. I’m having a hard enough time dealing with my own baggage.”
“PTSD?” Gabe’s question was quiet.
“And nightmares.” Damon gave a curt nod. “Feeling weak, deficient, and incompetent.”
“You are none of those things. Hopefully, you’ll be able to see that soon.” After a brief beat, Gabe asked, “Are you talking with Emily?”
“Yeah.” Damon let out a heavy sigh. “But I’d be lying if I said that learning about what happened to Grace hasn’t made it all a little worse.” He shook his head. “I wish she’d told me sooner. Maybe I would have felt better equipped to deal with it.”
Gabe’s hiked up. "You expected her to tell you about the most difficult and painful time in her life within two weeks of meeting you?
Or maybe you expected her to share everything that happened to her over the phone while you were ten thousand miles away and should be focusing on your job?
" Gabe pinned Damon with a glare as he leaned forward in his seat.
"Or did you expect her to tell you after you broke up with her in the hospital? "
“You’re right. I shouldn’t be making this about me.” Damon scrubbed his hands over his face. “That’s what I mean by baggage. How do I get my crap together, so don’t make hers worse?”