CHAPTER 26
They hadn’t talked about meeting at the house before going to do the interview, so she left work a little later than she normally did and headed straight there.
She told herself that she wasn’t avoiding Larissa.
She just wasn’t ready to hear about Larissa’s night with whomever it had been who had prevented her from coming home.
“Probably fucking Janine,” Harlow said to herself as she drove.
“Well, not fucking her. She wouldn’t do that on a first date.
Just fucking Janine because, of course, she’s fucking Janine.
That makes no sense,” she rambled. “She probably just stayed over, and they slept in separate beds. No, Janine would sleep on the couch. She worked at a bookstore, so she probably can’t afford a two-bedroom.
Or, maybe she comes from money and has a three-bedroom townhome like Laurel used to have.
Yeah, she probably doesn’t even need the damn job because she’s got a giant, paid-off house, and she and Larissa had sex all over it last night.
Of course, Larissa wouldn’t respond to my texts – she was busy getting laid. ”
Harlow parked and sat in her car for a minute.
She didn’t know what to do. If she went into the building, she’d see Larissa, and she’d get confirmation of how she spent her night.
It was possible that Larissa hadn’t been with Janine.
She had accidentally fallen asleep in an empty study room once during her grad school years.
But she had left all her school stuff at home, so Harlow knew that wasn’t possible.
Larissa wouldn’t leave the house and go to campus without bringing her laptop.
She always worried that something would come to her for her paper or something else, and she hated trying to type things on her phone.
More than once, Harlow had witnessed Larissa pull out her computer just to make a note or add to a paragraph, despite having a phone sitting right there on the table next to her.
“Damn it; it’s cute,” she said to herself.
“And you’re in love with her. You love that she can’t cook but still tries; that she has to type on her computer instead of her phone; that her glasses always fall down her face, even though it’s better for her if they stay on her damn nose.
You love that she’s so fucking smart and usually has no idea; that she lets you put your legs in her lap sometimes.
Fuck! You fucking love her. Just tell her, you idiot.
” Harlow got out of the car and started walking down the street toward the building. “You’ve got this.”
Then, she saw Larissa walking in from the parking garage exit.
“Nope. You do not got this,” she said.
“Hey,” Larissa greeted, but she wasn’t smiling. “I got your texts. Sorry, I meant to reply to them, but I got to work, and the owner needed to talk to me. Then, I was working, and–”
“It’s okay.”
“I thought I’d see you later anyway,” Larissa added.
“No problem. We just didn’t–”
“Say if we were going to meet at home or here?” Larissa interjected, but ended up finishing Harlow’s sentence.
“Yeah. And I got stuck at work,” she lied. “So, I just came straight here.”
“I came from home,” Larissa shared. “Um… I guess we should get inside now.”
“Who are we talking to tonight?” Harlow asked.
“Kit, who is forty, and Matilda, who is thirty-eight,” Larissa told her.
“They are the ones who met at work and were friends for about ten years before they went on their first date. They’ve been together for eight years, but they’re not married yet, or maybe they won’t ever be.
I don’t know. They just put that on their questionnaire. ”
“Cool,” she said and pulled open the door to the lobby. “After you.”
She motioned for Larissa to walk in before her.
“Hey. Your guests are already here,” Samantha said instantly when they walked in. “Over there.” She pointed to a long table, where Harlow noticed two women sitting across from one another at the far end of it.
“Thanks,” she replied.
“How was bowling last night?” Larissa asked, looking between the two of them. “Are you any good at bowling?” she added to Harlow.
“She bowled a one-forty, which is pretty good for someone who never bowls,” Samantha replied, covering for her. “And she bought the beer, so she came in second place because we all got too tipsy to bowl well.”
“You did well? I’ve never seen you bowl. Maybe we… should go… sometime. You could show me how. I haven’t been to bowling since a tenth birthday party for someone at school.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Harlow stated.
“I’ll go get Kit and Matilda. Be right back,” Larissa said and walked off.
“You didn’t tell her?” Samantha asked.
“She wasn’t home.”
“What?”
“When I got there, she wasn’t home. I texted, but she didn’t respond, and I’ve been at work all day since. We just bumped into each other outside, and it’s all awkward now. So, thanks for that.”
“Hey, they’re your feelings,” Samantha said.
“I meant thanks for covering for me. I didn’t expect her to ask how I bowled.”
“Well, if I were Larissa, I would be wondering why you were spending time with your ex-girlfriend after you showed up here, where I work, to rent the space for her. Then, we’re hanging out when she walks in yesterday, and we’re bowling. She might want to know why.”
“I told her that we’re not getting back together when she asked the first time.”
“Oh, my God.” Samantha laughed. “I cannot anymore. Just talk to her. Bye.”
Samantha walked away then.
“Harlow, this is Kit and Matilda,” Larissa introduced the two women as they approached.
Harlow held out her hand for them to shake, and after the introductions, they walked into a conference room, which was a different one today because Larissa hadn’t been able to reserve their usual.
This one held two small round tables, so they all sat around one, and Larissa’s phone rested in the middle, recording after she asked for the couple’s permission.
“So, I would like to start at the beginning, when you first met,” Larissa requested.
“I know you were friends for a while before you started dating, so can we go back to the first meeting, and then, when you first realized that your feelings were more than friendship? I’d love to know about what was going on in your lives at each point: the obstacles, the stress, fear, happiness, excitement, all of it.
Whatever you feel comfortable sharing will be incredibly helpful to me. ”
“Sure. I guess I can start,” Kit said.
How was it that tonight of all nights, the two women they were interviewing happened to be friends for about the same amount of time as Harlow and Larissa before they became a couple?
Harlow shook her head, and Larissa noticed, turning to her silently check if she was okay.
Harlow forced a smile, and Larissa returned her attention to Kit, who had her hand in Matilda’s lap.
“I was asked to help her when she first joined the company. I had been there for a few years at that point, and we were in the same job.”
“How did it feel when you saw her for the first time, if you remember?” Larissa asked.
“It wasn’t love at first sight for me, if that’s what you’re asking. Sorry, babe,” Kit said to Matilda. “I was in a relationship at the time, and I was faithful, so I wasn’t thinking about anyone that way.”
“For me, it was different,” Matilda shared.
“I was single and newly out, so when I saw her for the first time, I remember thinking that she was hot and that I was glad that she’d been assigned to work with me.
Then, a few days later, her girlfriend showed up to take her to lunch, and I had to squash those feelings. ”
“That’s interesting. I hadn’t thought about that,” Larissa said. “How we have to suppress feelings sometimes when someone is in a relationship, and we like them. There’s probably a chapter in that.”
‘Try a whole book,’ Harlow thought to herself.
“Yeah. So, I suppressed them as much as I could, met someone else, and it was fine for a while. Then, Kit and her ex broke up, and I started thinking about her that way again, but I had a girlfriend by then, and things were going well, so I suppressed my feelings again, and by the time we broke up, Kit was dating someone else.”
“It went like that for seven or eight years, I think, before we were both single and not dating anyone for a while.”
“Why was that?” Harlow asked this time.
“It was a conscious decision on my part,” Matilda said. “I didn’t want anyone else. I’d tried with a few women, and none were her. I knew I wanted her.”
“And I was starting to figure out that I had feelings for her,” Kit added.
“But you didn’t start dating until around ten years in, right?” Larissa asked.
“I didn’t think she felt the same way,” Kit shared. “So, I tried to keep my own feelings in check. I worried all the time that I might reveal myself accidentally. I remember being terrified that she’d find out and it would ruin everything.”
“She had no idea that I had felt that way for our entire friendship,” Matilda said, smiling over at her. “My sister got married around this time, and I brought Kit as my plus-one. My sister is annoying and pushed us into dancing because she knew how I felt about Kit, and we danced to a slow song.”
“How did that go?” Larissa asked.
“It was great,” Kit replied. “Really fucking good. I had wanted to dance with her, hold her hand all day and night at that damn wedding, and I finally got the chance. Then, the song ended, and we pulled apart. I thought it was over, and we didn’t talk about it after that.”
“So, how did you get together, then?” Harlow asked.
“Um…” Matilda said and looked sheepish.
“Anything you’re uncomfortable with, you don’t–”
“No, it’s okay. It’s just not exactly the fairy-tale situation you’re probably looking for,” Matilda said with a little laugh.
“I walked in on her when she was naked,” Kit shared.
“Oh,” Harlow said as her brain pictured Larissa naked.
She wondered at the color of her nipples with her pale skin, and how Larissa’s skin would feel everywhere she hadn’t touched her as her friend. She licked her lips, and when she realized that Larissa was staring at her, she shook her head and refocused.
“We were hanging out that night and going somewhere. I was late getting ready, so I’d just gotten out of the shower.
I had a studio apartment at the time, and I walked right out of my bathroom without a towel because I thought I was alone, but Kit had a key, and she’d gotten there early, so she saw me standing next to my bed, wearing nothing. ”
“And she told you how she felt?” Harlow asked.
“Nope. She showed me,” Matilda replied.
“Oh,” Larissa said this time.
“Yeah. I kissed her, and when she didn’t pull away, we kept kissing until I was naked, and– You can guess the rest. It was perfect.
I wouldn’t change any of it,” Kit added before she turned her face to Matilda and winked at her.
“I’m sure you guys expected some long, drawn-out conversation about feelings, and that probably works for some people in our situation, but for us, it happened how it happened, and I think it was exactly how it was supposed to go.
Ten years of pent-up sexual tension and frustration later, we finally just went with it, and it was hot, romantic, and just… perfect.”
“I wasn’t expecting anything,” Larissa replied. “So, now that we have the basics, let’s go back to the beginning and talk about the specific thoughts and feelings from the time you met again, if you don’t mind.”
Harlow stopped paying attention to the interview then because she began thinking about how sex had worked for this couple, but she knew it wouldn’t work for her and Larissa.
Larissa might not need a long, drawn-out feelings chat, necessarily, but she wouldn’t want Harlow to just go for the kiss or something more.
For Kit and Matilda, it had worked out, obviously, but Harlow knew Larissa better than anyone, and she also knew herself.
As much as she wanted to make love with Larissa, she didn’t want it to be the first thing they did if they actually got together.
When the interview was done about an hour later, she went to the bathroom while Larissa went to the front desk to walk Kit and Matilda out, and she found Larissa after, sitting at a table, probably typing her notes on her computer.
“Can I ask you something?” Harlow said, sitting down at the table across from her.
“Sure.”
“Where were you last night?”
“Aggie’s.”
“You–” Harlow let out the deepest breath. “You slept at Aggie’s?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“You weren’t there when I got home, and this morning, you–” She paused. “I guess I thought maybe you’d gone on a date or something.”
“With whom, exactly?” Larissa lifted an eyebrow at her.
“Janine.”
“Janine? No, we’re just going for a drink. It’s a hangout thing, not a date. I told you that.”
“You didn’t answer my texts, so I thought maybe you were… busy.”
“I wasn’t. I mean, Aggie’s two kids were kind of climbing all over me because they were excited that I was there and not at all tired, so I didn’t even know where my phone was at that time. Then, I decided to stay over.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Why, Harlow?”
“Why what?”
“Nothing.” Larissa shook her head. “I’m not going to date Janine, okay?”
“Okay. Yeah,” Harlow said. “Would you date me?”
Larissa’s eyes widened, and Harlow swallowed hard.
“Will you go out with me, Larissa?” she asked.
But Larissa wasn’t saying anything, and Harlow’s head began a slow nod on its own. This was the moment. She had finally done it. She’d just made her feelings known, no preamble, and now, it would all be over.
“Yes.”
Harlow’s eyes widened this time, and she asked, “Yes, what?”
“Yes, I’ll go out with you.”
“You heard the part about it being a date?”
“Yes.” Larissa nodded. “And my answer is yes.”
Larissa closed her laptop.
“Oh,” Harlow let out, her heart thundering inside her chest, and she silently begged it to stop because she couldn’t hear herself think.
“I expected you to say no. Or, to maybe want to talk for a long time about why your answer is no, because we should just be friends and all that. I wasn’t prepared for a yes. ”
“Are you taking it back, asking me out?”
“What? No!” she practically shouted. “I’ve waited, like, thirteen years to do this. I am not taking it back now that I finally have.”
“Thirteen years?!”
Harlow chuckled and said, “We don’t have to talk about that here. I’d suggest we just go somewhere now, but I want to do this right, Larissa. I want to pick you up at the front door and take you somewhere nice.”
“That’ll be hard because you live at my house,” Larissa teased. “And, Harlow?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to wait until you’ve moved into your new apartment for us to go out.”
“Okay. Tomorrow night, then?”
“Tomorrow night,” Larissa confirmed with a smile.