CHAPTER 25
“Aunt Issa?”
“Huh?” Larissa muttered and opened one of her eyes.
“Aunt Issa?” her four-year-old nephew repeated.
When he first started talking and calling people by their names, he couldn’t say her name. Now, he could, but he still called her Aunt Issa, and she had no plans to ever ask him to change that.
“Hey, buddy. What are you doing in here?” she asked.
“It’s the living room.”
“Oh, right,” she said, only then remembering that her sister didn’t have a guest room.
“Aunt Issa, why are you on the couch?”
“Because I slept here,” she replied and sat up.
“But why?” he asked.
“Because… I wanted to. I was with your mom, and I didn’t want to drive home.”
“Where is your home?”
“Buddy, you’ve been to my house,” she said before she rubbed her face up and down.
“I know. But where is it?” he asked and wiped his hand under his nose as he sniffled.
“It’s not far from here.”
“Can I ride my new bike there?”
“No, little man,” she said with a smile. “It’s too far for you to ride your bike there. But if you want to hang out with me, I’ll talk to your mom and dad, and maybe you can come over.”
“Okay,” he replied and ran off with a level of energy she wasn’t sure she ever possessed.
“Hey, sorry. I had to dress this one, and Junior took that as an opportunity to run off on me,” Aggie said, holding her two-year-old son in her arms.
“No problem. He’s still cute, so he gets away with it.”
“But in a few years, he better not mess with you, huh?” Aggie teased as she walked into the living room.
“Exactly,” Larissa joked and put her glasses on. “Hey, buddy,” she said to her younger nephew, Nathan, who had his thumb in his mouth.
“He just woke up and is pretty crabby, so I wouldn’t get too close,” Aggie warned.
But little Nathan held his arms out for Larissa to take him.
“I think he likes me more than he likes you.”
“Fine with me. I could use a break. And I have to chase down Junior, who is remarkably fast for someone with small legs,” Aggie said of her four-year-old.
“Where is your husband?”
“He’s around,” her sister replied and passed Larissa the toddler. “In the shower, probably. He’ll take Junior to school and this little handsome guy to daycare.” She poked Nathan in the belly, and Nathan gave her a baby laugh. “How do you not want any of these yourself? Look how cute my kid is.”
“He’s adorable, but when he throws up, he’s all yours. When he poops, he’s all yours, too. When he needs money for college, or–”
“Yeah, I get it: you like being the cool aunt.”
“Yes, as well as the one who gets to hand him back to you when he starts crying.”
“Oh, but I thought he liked you better than me… Why would he cry with you holding him?” Aggie joked.
“HJ, in the kitchen for breakfast,” Henry told his namesake.
“Can I have cereal?” Junior asked his father as he followed him into the kitchen.
“You can have a seat, and I’ll get you some cereal.”
“The one with the marshmallows,” Junior requested.
“Hey, Larissa,” Henry greeted as he got a box of cereal that definitely didn’t have marshmallows in it and put it on the table.
“Dad, this is the kind you eat. It’s gross.”
“And it’s for me,” Henry said and then set the box for his son on the table.
“Hey, Henry,” Larissa replied. “Thanks for letting me crash on your couch last night.”
“No problem,” he said and went to get the milk out of the fridge. “Is he in a better mood?”
Henry nodded toward Nathan.
“Of course, he is – his favorite aunt is holding him,” Larissa said and kissed Nathan’s cheek, causing him to giggle.
“He’s fine,” Aggie added and rolled her eyes at Larissa. “What do you have planned today? Wait, let me guess: more Harlow drama, followed by book stuff, and you’ll end the day with not telling Harlow how you feel and going to sleep alone in your bed without the woman you love.”
“You’re a jerk,” Larissa said.
“What’s a jerk?” Junior asked.
“Jerk,” Nathan repeated after his brother.
“Oh, you’ll pay for that,” Aggie told her with a laugh.
“At least, I didn’t say asshole,” Larissa teased.
“Asshole,” Nathan repeated and giggled.
“Okay. Aunt Issa is leaving now.” Aggie took Nathan back from Larissa and added, “Stop avoiding her and tell her how you feel. From now on, you can only sleep on my couch in the event of a real emergency, not because you can’t talk to Harlow.”
“Tough love, huh?” Henry said as he poured milk into Junior’s bowl.
“Apparently,” Larissa replied.
“Asshole,” Nathan said again and laughed.
Larissa couldn’t not laugh at that.
◆◆◆
When she got home, she noticed that Harlow’s car was not in the driveway.
Larissa had given her the second garage door opener, but Harlow never really used that.
She always walked in through the front door, explaining that she’d been told people shouldn’t use the garage door to enter and leave the house all the time if they weren’t taking their car out or parking it because it could make the garage door mechanism not last as long, and she didn’t want to contribute to the depreciation of Larissa’s garage door when she wasn’t parking her car in there.
Larissa had laughed at that and had told her to use it anyway, but when she opened the garage door this time, Harlow’s car wasn’t parked in there, either.
She wasn’t expecting it to be, but even so, she still felt a tinge of disappointment that Harlow wasn’t home.
It was early, but Harlow must have left for work already.
Larissa showered and changed out of the clothes she’d borrowed from her sister to sleep in and found her school stuff. She had another interview that night and needed to get some work done on campus after her shift at the bookstore.
“Hey,” Janine greeted her when Larissa pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car.
“Hi. What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Picking up my last check. She forgot to put a couple of days on it accidentally, so I had to stop by because she’d already disconnected the direct deposit.” Janine held up a white envelope. “She couldn’t wait one day to do that, huh?”
“Sorry, Janine,” she replied. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll probably have to get another job myself; either in addition to this one or just a new one altogether because she cut our hours.”
“Why would that make me feel better?” Janine asked with a little laugh.
“I don’t want you to be out of a job, too.
Besides, you should be fine. I told her to try to give you as many hours as she could and reduce the phone scrollers’ hours instead.
You actually work. They take advantage. She said she’d talk to you today. ”
“You didn’t have to do that,” Larissa said, grateful that she had.
“I know. But I want this place to be successful. I’m not mad that she had to let me go.
People don’t buy books in a store as much as they used to.
It’s sad that she might end up having to sell.
She might not want you to know, but she’s got maybe a year left if the place doesn’t turn around, and that’s with firing me and reducing the rest of the hours.
Of the two phone scrollers, I can see her letting go of one soon to help more, but then the other would go right behind her.
I told her you should be the last one to go, but, yeah, if I were you, I’d start looking now, just in case.
She might make it a year and a half if she lets go of the two, but then, she might need you to go full-time, and she can’t afford to have a full-timer. She’d have to pay your benefits.”
“I have those already. I’m good,” she replied. “I’ll talk to her and tell her not to worry about that.”
“Just give her some time first, okay? She cried when she let me go,” Janine shared.
“Yeah, of course.”
“So, are we on for the weekend still? Drinks?”
“Oh. Sure, yeah.”
“You forgot, didn’t you?”
“No, I didn’t forget,” Larissa replied. “I just might have to postpone. I don’t know yet, though.”
“Something up?”
“Harlow is moving into her own place. She just found out that she got this really nice apartment. I don’t know when she’s moving yet, but she told me she had to pick a date, and my guess is that she would pick a weekend one, considering we both work, and I’ll be helping her move.”
“You talk a lot about her, you know?”
“Harlow? She’s my best friend, and we’ve known each other forever.”
“No, I mean, you talk about her a lot. I said it that day I asked you out on a date, but I don’t think you caught what I meant. Then again, you did immediately tell me you don’t sleep with her, so maybe you did get it.”
“Not you, too,” Larissa said.
“Not me too what?” Janine laughed.
“I’m figuring some things out. I’ve been told recently that I am only smart when it comes to science, not so much when it comes to other things.”
“Like friends?”
“Like maybe being in love with her and not knowing it forever.”
“Ah… So I was right? What I picked up on was correct?”
“If you picked up on the fact that I’ve, apparently, been in love with Harlow without realizing it for a very long time, then, yes.”
“And how are you doing with all of that?”
“Not great so far. I slept on my sister’s couch last night after I tried to talk to Harlow, and she decided to go bowling with her ex-girlfriend instead. I didn’t want to see her when she got home.”
“You told her you wanted to talk about how you felt, and she ditched you?” Janine asked, furrowing her brow.
“Not exactly. I told her I wanted to talk to her about something, but I didn’t specifically tell her that I wanted to talk about how I felt. I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“You’re in love with her.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know that I’ve stopped to think about how I feel, exactly. My sister has–”
“Larissa?” Janine interjected.
“Yeah?”
“Harlow is no longer in your life. How do you feel?”
“What? Awful,” she said quickly.
“Okay. Harlow is getting married today. How do you feel? Quick.”
“She’s getting–”
“Yes, married to someone who’s not you. How do you feel, standing next to her as her maid of honor, watching her kiss another person?
You watch them dance all night, cut the cake, and they kiss again and again, looking ridiculously happy, and you know that they have this kick-ass hotel room, where they’re going to be all over each other later. How do you feel?”
“Happy for my friend,” she said and swallowed.
“Stop trying to be a good person and tell me how you really feel.”
“Like I might throw up.”
“And do you think you’d feel that way about anyone else you’ve ever dated when they get married? Any of your other friends if they got married?”
“No.”
“I think that says something.”
“What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”
“I don’t know her, so I have no idea what she feels, but if you feel like you might vomit, thinking about her marrying someone else, I’m not sure you should be dating anyone else until you at least figure this out.
And I think you should take the risk. I mean, if it were me, I would want to know.
Even if I didn’t feel the same way, I’d still want to know.
I’d hope you’d be comfortable enough with me and trust me enough to tell me. ”
“It changes everything. Everything, Janine. I’m so slow here. I’m only just now realizing. Maybe I should take some time and–”
“Do whatever you want, obviously. I have no idea what her life plans are. But she could meet that fictional person she could marry – or, at least, fall in love with – at any time, you know? You mentioned she’s dated a lot and moved in with a few women before.
There’s nothing stopping her from doing that again.
And, Larissa, if she does feel the same way, you two could be kissing instead right now. Well, when you see her next, I mean.”
Larissa, for the very first time in her adult life, thought about kissing her best friend.
Harlow was two inches taller. She’d be so close and would probably cup Larissa’s cheeks.
It would be slow the first time because they’d both hesitate, but then, it would heat up.
Suddenly, Larissa was no longer picturing them kissing in her living room for the first time but standing in front of their friends and family outside, wearing white because they’d just been married by some nameless, faceless officiant.