Chapter 21 Lauren
Lauren
Apersistent pounding crept into the edges of Lauren’s consciousness, but exhaustion kept her wrapped safely in the warm bundle of blankets and sheets.
The thuds came again, and she scrunched her nose against the interruption. It couldn’t be morning yet. Her body and mind were in agreement. She wasn’t rested enough.
The pounding continued, louder and closer this time. Lauren opened her eyes and listened. There was only silence. Had the noise been part of a dream? If it wasn’t real, why was her heart pounding so hard?
She’d just closed her eyes again when she recognized the pounding as someone at her front door. She sat up in bed and grabbed her phone. She squinted against the bright screen as she read the time. One in the morning. No one knocked on doors in the middle of the night with good news.
She also had six missed calls from Zach. She’d been calling him all day with no answer, but the first calls from him started an hour ago.
The phone in her hand rang, shining Zach’s name in the darkness of her room.
“Hello.”
“Open the door,” Zach demanded. The order was low and cautious, lacking authority and confidence.
Lauren threw the blanket off her legs and grabbed her robe. “What are you doing here?”
“Just let me in, please.”
Wow. Zach was using the magic word. That was new.
She whispered into the phone as she padded toward the front door. “Are you being held against your will?”
“Yeah, I am. Come on, Lauren. Open the door.”
She stopped in the hallway. “Is somebody out there with you?”
Zach let out a long, tired sigh. “No.”
Her heart still pounded like a war drum as she ended the call and flipped the locks. The cold air crashed into her as soon as she opened the door.
Zach stood on her welcome mat with one arm locked and propped on the door frame. His hair was tousled, and he held his phone in his limp arm.
Lauren stepped back as the smell hit her. Liquor and cigarette smoke wafted from him. His head hung low with his chin resting on his chest.
“Are you kidding me?” Lauren mumbled as she reached for his shoulder and gently pulled to guide him inside. “Where have you been?”
He leaned into her, and she braced herself to keep them both on their feet. Man, he was heavy.
“Work,” Zach said.
She hefted him across the room. “You were not at the ranch at midnight.”
When he slumped onto the couch, she stretched her shoulders against the ache. He was bigger than she thought. Hauling him inside was a chore she didn’t welcome at one in the morning.
“Other work, angel,” Zach said as his head fell back against the cushion.
That did it. The worry she’d been carrying fizzled away. In its place, white-hot rage flamed up, ready to burn her alive.
“Are you telling me that not only did you drive here drunk from who knows where, but you’re back doing all the things that got you locked up before?”
Zach’s head was still resting back, and he didn’t open his eyes as he chuckled. “I’m statistically accurate. You’re the only one who thought this time would be different.”
“Are you kidding me?” She still couldn’t process what was right in front of her.
“You shouldn’t be surprised. Do you remember how we met?”
Her breaths were coming quicker, and her volume rose to meet the occasion. “Do you remember how far we’ve come?”
How dare he throw her hope in her face? After all she’d done to try to make it easier for him to get on the straight and narrow, he repaid her by taking advantage of her generosity.
She wanted to scream. She wanted to shake him and beg him to see the way things could be if he would only listen. She’d hurt him with her words, but he’d crossed a huge line before even giving her a chance to apologize.
Lauren propped her hands on her hips. “Where did you get the whiskey?”
“It was a get-out-of-prison gift.”
“Ha! What is this, a bridal shower?”
Zach slowly lifted his head and blinked until there was almost a hint of coherence in his eyes. “I haven’t had a drink in three years. I deserved one.”
“You don’t smell like one drink, and the fact that you can barely hold your head up says you’ve been greatly overserved.”
Zach crossed his arms over his chest, still relaxing on her couch like he didn’t have a care in the world. “I serve myself, angel.”
Ugh. That blind arrogance grated on her nerves. How could he be so proud of his mistakes? “You’re doing yourself a disservice right now. How are you going to go to work at the ranch in the morning like this?”
“I’m not going. I don’t need that job.”
His head fell back again, and his breaths became steady. All she could do was stare at him.
She slowly lowered onto the couch, watching as he sat unmoving. The lines on his face were gone, and he actually looked peaceful in sleep.
Maybe that’s what he needed. Peace. The worries he carried were all made up—left over from a lifetime of judgment.
He’d been in the darkness so long that he truly believed he belonged there.
He could have a different life, but it would take work.
His problem was that he didn’t think it was possible.
She recalled some of the things she’d learned in psychology studies and even from counseling she’d received herself. How could she reach him?
Before she’d formulated a plan, Zach’s head rolled toward her. His eyes opened slowly, chocolate irises blending with dark pupils. In a low voice that brushed over her, he whispered, “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Lauren’s skin flashed hot, then cold. Oh no. What was he saying? She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t hear anything over the pounding of her heart.
“You actually care,” he said, closing his eyes briefly. “Even when you’re mad at me. You’re an angel of light, but everything else is darkness.”
He needed to stop talking, or she was going to cry again. “I don’t feel like it. I hurt you, and I’m so sorry.”
A hot breath huffed out of his nose as he looked her up and down. His head never moved, but his eyes followed every inch of her from head to toe and then back up. “I know you are, but it’s okay to hate me.”
With a grunt, Zach lifted his head and sat forward. “I need to get back to the house.”
Lauren reached out but thought better of it and pulled her hand back. “You need to stay. I can’t believe you drove here like this. You could have hurt yourself or someone else.”
Zach rose to his feet and slid his hand through his hair. “Yeah, but I didn’t.”
Lauren was on his heels in an instant. “I’m serious. Please don’t ever drink and drive again.”
He held up his hands as he marched for the door. “Fine. I won’t. After tonight.”
He was already out the door, and she ran past him onto the porch until she was standing in front of him. “I mean it. You either let me drive you home or you stay here.”
“Come on. It’s a quarter of a mile down the road.” He pointed in the direction of the rental house.
“I don’t care.” She lifted her chin and faced him head-on.
Zach swayed to one side, then compensated on the other. He might be bigger than her, but she wouldn’t be intimidated by him when it came to this. Drinking and driving was a hard line, and not even his intense stare would make her falter.
The lamb was standing up to the lion. It was ridiculous, but she silently prayed it would work. She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. “You don’t need whiskey,” she said, sure and stern as she stood before the fighter.
Zach took one step toward her, lazily swaying as he whispered, “I need you.”
He needed more than her. He needed a relationship with the Lord and the promises and comforts that come with giving your life to Him. But that was a conversation for another day when Zach was sober, and she wasn’t a week behind on sleep.
“And I need you.” She reached out and touched his arm, gently coaxing him to turn toward the door. “To give me those keys.”
He allowed her to lead him back to the couch where he sat, resigned and looking exhausted. “We don’t have to talk about this tomorrow, do we?” he asked as he leaned to one side until his head hit the couch cushion.
“We do, but I’ll make you breakfast first,” she promised.
She grabbed a pillow and blanket from the hall closet and brought them to him. Zach was already snoring softly on the couch.
After slipping the pillow under his head, she pulled off his boots and lifted his feet onto the couch before covering him with a blanket.
When she slid back into her own bed, the worries she’d carried through the day had dissipated. Maybe he would listen to her in the morning.