Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
NOAH
It’s been non-stop the last few weeks. If I thought it was busy leading up to the soft opening of Obsidian Rose, it’s nothing compared to the opening, but I couldn’t be prouder of Jessica.
But lately, the three of us have been like passing ships in the night. It’s easy for me to put it down to work and the restaurant rather than the truth. The real reason I’ve been keeping myself so busy is a way of avoidance.
Caleb is with Jessica sorting out something at the restaurant, even though today was meant to be her day off. I’d have gone, too, but I had an early morning conference call to take care of.
Aspen has been following me around the house all afternoon as I do some housework.
She’s been extremely clingy lately. Caleb and Jessica say it’s because I’m her favourite and always sneaking her treats, which in part might be true, and I just wave it off.
But deep down, I know she’s exhibiting unusual behaviour.
I’ve been ignoring it, and it’s becoming harder, especially the more insistent she is at pawing and sniffing around my chest.
I sit on the sofa, and she immediately goes onto her hind legs, nudging my chest with her snout.
I raise my hand and feel around the area under my swollen armpit and chest like I have countless times before. My fingertips trace over my breast tissue, and it’s impossible not to notice how one side feels different.
I keep putting off the inevitable, but deep down, I know I can’t keep ignoring it.
I need to get myself checked out. Maybe it’s a good thing we’ve all been so busy.
Otherwise, I’m sure they would have noticed.
We’ve had stolen moments here and there, but it’s made it easier to hide myself.
However, trying to keep my emotional and mental state under wraps is starting to become evident, with the way Caleb has been questioning me the last few days.
The last thing I want is for either of them to worry unnecessarily. We’re all in such a good place, and if it turns out to be nothing, I would have caused them upset for no reason.
Jessica is the happiest I’ve ever seen her; she is buoyant and full of life. She’s happy and healthy.
Not only that, but so is Caleb. She brings out the softer side to him, which people apart from me rarely get to see. Now, others see glimpses of the man we both love and adore.
I want to protect the peace we’ve created for as long as possible, so if it means carrying this uncertainty alone, that’s what I’ll do.
Aspen licks the back of my hand, and I smile down at her. Well, I’m not completely alone.
“I know, girl. I’m going to make a call and book an appointment,” I say out loud, as if to appease her, and she continues to nudge my hand.
I rub behind her ear and then sit up.
“Come, how about a walk?” I ask her, but she doesn’t react. It’s as if she’s calling me out on my bullshit. I tell myself I’ll call the surgery later, after our walk, the same shit I’ve been telling myself for weeks now—knowing I’m only lying to myself.
“Fuck it.” Reaching out for my laptop on the coffee table, I sit it on my lap and bring it to life. I bring up my doctor’s surgery and book an appointment online. For some reason, that seems less intimidating than making a phone call. That would make this all far too real.
Once I’m done, I add the date to my calendar and book out the day.
Aspen pushes against my leg as though she’s satisfied, but she’ll take that walk now.
Closing my laptop, I leave it on the coffee table and retrieve her lead from the hook by the back door.
I don’t know how long we’ve been walking, being overwhelmed and consumed by my thoughts. I only notice Caleb’s car when Aspen and I go back inside, which means he and Jessica are both home.
Unclipping Aspen’s lead, I nudge my chin towards her water bowl.
“Go get a drink, girl.” She does as I say, causing my lips to twitch.
“Hey, handsome,” Caleb says as Jessica hops down from the stool at the breakfast bar.
“There you are,” she says, stepping up to me, her arms draping over my shoulders. She goes up onto her tiptoes to kiss me.
Kissing her never gets old, her lips soft and supple against mine.
For a few lingering moments, I can escape my inner turmoil, until her hands move over my chest, and the action is like a dose of cold water.
Breaking me from the moment of calm, I pull out of the kiss and gently take hold of her wrists, hoping like hell she can’t feel my inner turmoil.
“Did you miss me?” I ask, cocking a brow.
“Always,” she replies as she studies my face. “Are you okay?”she asks, her voice tinged with concern.
I swallow hard and nod. “Of course, I’m fine,” I reply, the worst word you can use when it’s the furthest thing from the truth. My gaze moves to Caleb over her shoulder.
He’s pulling some stuff from the fridge, but I don’t miss how his gaze flicks to mine at my answer.
Thankfully, the sound of her phone ringing cuts off any response she might have had as she pulls out of my grasp.
“Sorry, I just need to take that,” she says, moving to the breakfast bar and pulling it from her bag.
I let out a relieved sigh and try to cool my features as I hang up Aspen’s lead and then turn back to find Caleb still looking through the fridge.
“How did it go?” I ask. “Was everything okay with the restaurant?”
He peeks around the door and nods.
“Yeah, just a mix-up with a wholesale order, but it’s all sorted now.”
He pulls out a carton of fresh orange juice and holds it up to me.
I nod and watch his biceps flex against the long-sleeved top he’s wearing as he reaches into the cupboard for some glasses.
“How was your meeting?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder before filling the glasses.
“Yeah, it was fine.” I almost roll my eyes at how many times I’ve said fine recently.
He turns to face me, frowning as he hands me the orange juice. I glance away before draining my glass, the cool tart juice refreshing and just what I needed. It’s only now I realise the last time I had anything was after working out this morning.
Licking my lips, I let out a satisfied hum.
“Thirsty?” he asks, cocking a brow.
“Yeah,” I admit. “I probably should have taken water with me when I walked Aspen.”
He nods and leans back against the counter, studying me, and I bristle under his stare.
“You’ve been getting up early to walk her and coming to bed late,” he says.
I swallow and nod. “Yeah, I know, work has been hectic. Walking Aspen is a nice way to disassociate before I start,” I say. It’s not a complete lie.
“Hmm.” Licking his lips, he places his glass on the counter. “There’s something else. What’s going on?” he asks, stepping towards me until I’m back against the other counter, his hands going to each side of me, caging me in.
“Nothing. Like I said, work’s hectic.”
His eyes bore into mine.
“It’s more than that, Noah. Jessica and I are both worried about you,” he admits.
I tilt my head to the side. “You’ve been talking about me. Are you serious?”
He frowns. “We’re concerned about you. You’ve not been yourself lately.”
I grind my jaw. “Fucking hell, I said I’m fine.”
My hands move to his chest, pushing him back enough to slip around him.
Jessica is standing there, her jaw agape, her phone gripped in her palm.
“Noah,” she says, her voice soft.
I shake my head.
Her eyes glisten, confused, as I pass her, my chest tight.