25. Thayer
Chapter Twenty-Five
Thayer
“Hey, where are you?” Lea stands in front of me, waving her hands like a lunatic.
“Oh. Thinking. What is it?” Looking at her and then over at Christy, their faces reflect precisely what I’m feeling. Sheer panic as we look like bridesmaid dresses. “I’m fine. Stop. I know what I’m doing. I love Walker, and in time, any love I have for him will dissipate.”
“Is that so? Do you love him enough to say you have more for Walker than you do Hardy?” Christy asks.
“How many people have lost someone and still find a second chance? Walker’s my second chance,” I say flatly.
“Or do you think he’s your quickest route?” Lea peers at me with her eyebrow cocked.
“Quickest route to what? More heartache? If I didn’t love him, I wouldn’t do this. I will not hurt him the way I’ve been hurt.” I glare at the both of them, praying it’ll make them stop. It doesn’t. Damn it.
“I’m not saying you’d hurt him intentionally, Thayer. I’m only asking if your love can sustain you, or is it a band-aid?” Lea knows me too well.
“Love triangles happen all the time. Mine is a little different. No other man is vying for my hand in marriage. Fucking asshole ran off.” I begin swinging my leg as I sit, trying to dissipate some of my nervous energy.
“True. But if they both stood before you today, who would you pick?” I may kill Christy before this day is over.
“You and I both know that’ll never happen. So be gone with your conjecture for today,” I say, flipping my hand to shoo her away.
“It’s a valid question, Thayer. What if Hardy comes back?” Lea’s face is full of sorrow as her eyes well with tears.
“I’ll be honest; today, I’d leave with him. Tomorrow, maybe not. Girls, I’m just not sure, but I do know I love Walker.” My voice breaks on the last few words.
“Do you love Hardy more?” Lea is tough as nails. She knows me better than I thought.
“I’m in love with two different men. Do I love one more than the other?
Yes. But he’s not here, is he? He couldn’t stand by me when I needed him most. Walker’s a good man.
He deserves to be happy. Listen, I know it isn’t the best situation, but Walker knew what he was getting into inside and out.
He knows I love someone else but is willing to take me and what I have to offer.
If he accepts it, that’s all that matters.
Now, I’m over speculating about Hardy.” Standing, I turn to walk away.
Lea has other plans; her words bring me up short.
“He’s here.” Two words. World domination.
“What? Who?” Christy looks around as the color drains from my face. I search Lea’s eyes for any trace that she’s bluffing. No. fucking. Way.
“One talked to him.” I crumple on the floor, my pulse racing as I struggle to catch my breath.
“Thayer!” Christy screams as the lights go out.
Iwatch as Hardy walks through the door from the other side of the room.
He shakes hands as he smiles and exchanges pleasantries with the receiving line.
People lined up to deliver well wishes to me, and my new husband is now going to Hardy.
He just walks in after seven long months and steals the show.
The closer he gets to me, people gawk openly.
They’re not the only ones. I stand here, mouth agape, as he walks straight to me.
Damn, he looks fine as hell. I’ve never seen him this way before.
He’s dressed in a fitted, black, three-piece Armani with a pale gray dress shirt that sets his eyes off.
He’s totally fuckable. I realize my new husband stands beside me.
I’m too ashamed to even look at him after my thoughts about Hardy, whom I’ve lost again in the crowd.
Suddenly, I’m grabbed from behind as the wedding guests begin to tap their champagne glasses, spurring my husband to kiss me.
Closing my eyes as I’m tilted backward, I feel his soft lips take mine.
Working my mouth until it gives way to his enticing work of my lips.
His tongue wars with mine in a dance of sensual deliciousness, making me instantly wet.
I squeeze my thighs together to help restrain my moan from the mouth-fucking my husband is giving me.
Finally, we come up for air. He begins to pull away, and I feel the cool air across my wet lips. Immediately, I miss his heat. I’ve never wanted anything more than to have him press his lips against me again. I’ve missed this so much. Opening my eyes, I see Hardy looking back at me.
Startled, I begin to blink rapidly, slowly coming to. Lea and Christy are hoovers over top of me as Christy runs a cool cloth over my forehead again. Lea looks so worried. Damn her, she should be. Scaring a girl like that is bullshit.
“You okay?” She watches me closely. I nod, but my first words are about him.
“Where is he?” Rising to sit, I lower my head between my knees. I’m nauseous.
“I’m not sure. One didn’t say, baby. What are you thinking?” Everything is what my answer should be, but I go for the simple.
“Who the fuck knows?” Tears begin to fall, gathering on the floor between my feet.
“Are we still having a wedding?” Christy asks innocently as I sit there thinking. I answer as honestly as possible.
“Yes, if he were here for me, to make it right, he would have already been fighting for me,” I mumble the last few words.
“I think he’s still working up the courage.” Lea licks her lips nervously. Lifting my head, I wipe my nose, then gather my thoughts and stand.
“If he wanted me, he would be here. I know more now than ever; I can’t put my faith in a man who can’t believe in me.
Walker understands my hesitation about us, but he doesn’t doubt my commitment.
Hardy will never comprehend why I would stand beside him through any storm because he doesn’t believe in us.
I need my husband to believe in our love.
Knowing if he can’t stand on his own, I will stand with him, beside him.
Just like he would stand with me.” Shifting my eyes between both women, they smile and nod.
Lea stays close by as we sort our things and get ready to leave the dress shop. We purchase dresses for the wedding, what else should we do? I think they’re waiting for the calm before the storm. But it never comes.
We drop Christy off at her home and drive to Lea’s. One is there when we arrive; he’s had the twins while we’ve been out. Walking through the front door, his eyes latch onto Lea’s. Many unspoken words are shared, as only they can do. My brother’s eyes snap to mine.
“Tell me. Better yet, why the fuck haven’t you told me?” Glaring at him, I try to keep my voice level; the twins are sleeping.
“Let’s step out to the sunroom, okay?” His voice cracks with nervousness.
“Tell me,” I say again, spinning on him as soon as the door closes behind us. He sets the baby monitor down before shoving his hands in his pockets. He does that when he feels out of control. He’s mad as hell.
“Lea and I discussed last night that she would gauge you today to decide if we were going to say anything. She texted me to warn me she was about to tell you, I’m sorry. I’ve wanted to tell you.” I pace between the two of them, seething.
“Warn you? Who the fuck are you? Where is he? Don’t you dare hold out on me another fucking second, One.
” Once again, I find myself crying over this man.
Why am I allowing him to do this to me? “You know what? Forget it; I don’t want to see him.
I’m done. He’s been here and couldn’t even get brave enough to come to see me. ” I storm off toward the door.
“Wait, Thayer, stop. Where are you going?” One chases me around the house as I walk to my truck. Stopping abruptly, I turn on my brother. Hair sticking to the tears running down my face, cheeks red, and nose running. I’m visibly shaken.
“Leaving. I’m done loving him, goddamn it. He thinks no more of me than he does a stranger. I gave him my heart, and he gave me heartache. Fuck him. He was supposed to love me forever, One. Me and him. I deserved his love. I needed him.” Before I can wipe away the tears, One has me in his arms.
He holds me until I can’t cry another minute; still, he embraces me a little longer. Sitting on his front steps, not a word is spoken until I’m ready. I’m not sure what brought it on, but I knew if I didn’t make a decision, I never would. I’d always be waiting on him.
“I’m going to move on, One for me. It’s not going to be easy,” I say, leaning into his shoulder for support.
“Tay, baby girl, you know I have your back no matter what, but if you still love Hardy this much, do you really think you can move on?” Wrapping his arm around my shoulder, he rubs small circles into it.
Sniffling, I mutter my response. “I don’t know. What I do know is that Hardy doesn’t get to decide anymore. I love him, but I’ll be damned if I’ll be tied to a man who refuses to believe in what we have.”
“I understand; it’s Hardy who doesn’t. He really thinks you’re better off without him.” Squeezing me close to him, he kisses the top of my head. My brother, the Neanderthal. He’s such a good man.
“Maybe, I am.” Shrugging, I pull away. “I’m going home. I love you.” I return his kiss on his cheek.
“Anytime.” He stands as I walk to my truck. Climbing in, I yell to him.
“Thank you!” He winks, adding that mischievous grin of his.