26. Hardy
Chapter Twenty-Six
Hardy
One stands on his stoop, hands in pockets, watching her leave. She’s so broken, and it’s all because of me. I’ve fucked up in so many ways. I should’ve run to her and begged for her forgiveness. Thayer cried for an hour, and it broke my heart to watch.
Movement from the corner of my eye startles me. I jump before I realize it’s One, standing next to my truck. Rolling down the window, he leans against the door with his arms folded. Taking my sleeve, I wipe away the tears.
“Why don’t you talk to her? She needs you,” he says in a soft voice; my best friend’s heart even hurts over this.
“And say what? ‘I fucked up. I love you.’ I’ve had this same conversation with Chord; there’s nothing more to add. What’s worse, there isn’t anything I can say.” Continuing to dry my face, new tears spring to my eyes.
“I know it’s not easy, but you have to do something. Say something. Not everyone can kill someone to prove their love. Hadlea’s the only badass who can pull it off.” He chuckles as he tries to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, you got that right. But I’d be willing to off that fucker, Walker.” I hit the steering wheel with my fist.
“Why? Because he’s man enough to take care of her?” I wrench my head in his direction as I level him with a glare.
“What the fuck, asshole? I fucked up, I know!” I’m yelling at him while tears fall rapidly.
“Then fucking do something about it before my sister fucks her life up. Goddamn. Do you think you’re the only person who has fucked up? Well, sit back and watch Thayer. She’s about to ruin her life because of you, mother fucker.” One pushes away from my truck but not before punching it.
He’s right. All of this is happening because I can’t get my shit together.
Starting my truck, I pull out on the road and begin to drive.
My mind racing a million miles an hour. Seeing her shattered kills me.
If it were anyone else, I would hurt them for making her cry.
But she’s the one who agreed to marry him. Am I supposed to run and save her?
Driving on autopilot, I’m pulling onto her street before I even realize it. Her truck is in the drive, so is his car. Slowing, I peer in as I coast by. They sit on her steps, her between his legs as she plays with a Collie puppy. Thayer laughs as the puppy attacks her, licking her all over.
I chuckle when the pup laps at her open mouth, essentially kissing Thayer. That’s when I realize I’ve almost stopped on the road. I speed up, taking the corner too fast. My truck tires squeal as it completes the turn. I’m out of sight by the time I begin to breathe again.
The sandy gravel makes almost no sound as I come to a stop by our bog. Still, Creek will always be our place. We planned our lives here, decided on how long before we would marry and how many kids we would have in the future.
That’s all gone now because I’m an asshole. I’m not sure why they don’t understand I’m no good for her. I was a drug-addicted teen with a pregnant, addict wife who died while selfishly getting clean instead of finding her and taking her with me.
No. No one could make Erica do a damn thing.
We were married in name only. For fuck’s sake, I left because I hadn’t seen her in days.
We were both having to take drug tests for the state.
They had been threatening to take the kid if it was born addicted too.
The life we were living wasn’t a life for a baby anyway.
Laying over in my seat, I think about Thayer. The little Collie puppy was so happy to be in her arms. I guess he bought it for her. Damn. I’m a mess. Why do I keep doing this to us? She loves me, and I can’t even stay away from her. I love her so much.
My phone buzzes twice before I can dig it from my pants. Clearing my eyes enough to focus on the screen, I finally see it’s my only friend in the world right now. He has Lulu right now. He keeps her most days; living outta my truck isn’t easy on her.
“Hey, man, sorry. I’ll be over there soon. I just needed a minute; it’s been a rough day,” I say immediately as I answer the call.
“No worries, man. You out at the bog?” He laughs lightly.
“Yeah. It’s our place.” I sigh as I reply to him.
“It still can be, you know that, right?” He’s too young to be insightful.
“I don’t know, man. She found out today that I’m here. She didn’t take it well.” Again with the fucking tears. I wipe them away as fast as possible.
“You know, there’s an engagement party tomorrow night?” he mutters under his breath.
“Where?” I ask, sitting ramrod straight in my seat.
“Our parents’ house, where did you think?” Chuckling again, Chord needs his ass kicked.
“Like I’d be invited.” I laugh with him.
“I need a date.” I shake my head as I full-on smile at his wayward thoughts.
“You asking?” We laugh harder now.
“Yeah, thinking I don’t want to go alone. Besides, you’re sure to liven the place up.” Fucking asshole.
“True that. What…what should I say to her?” I ask, needing help from someone like never before in my life. The silence grows as we sit there.
“Come on over, and we’ll figure it out,” he says, trying to console me as best he can.
“You know all hell is gonna break lose, don’t you?”
“Sometimes, Hardy, you have to walk through hell to get to heaven.” The kid’s got the point.
“When did you get so smart?” I ask, trying to lighten the moment.
“When did you become such a dumb ass?” Chord questions flatly.
“I’m on the way over.” Shaking my head, I toss my phone on the seat.
On the road to Chord’s house, I go back to how this all started. I knew it was a lost cause, but she made me believe. Believe we would work. Believe that love could conquer all. Where the hell did it all go wrong?
Chord opens his front door as I pull up. Lulu comes barreling out, all fur and slobbers. Just like the first time meeting Thayer. Knocking her down, Lulu kissed her all over until she laughed. It was the most perfect moment.
“Hey, girl, I’m happy to see you too. Chord.” I nod in his direction.
“Come on in, man. I’ll grab some beer, and we’ll strategize.” Sounds like a plan.
We sit, talking about everything as the football game on the television plays in the background. He asks me time and time again how I plan to win her back. I have no fucking clue. That’s my reply every time. And then he asks the million-dollar question.
“What happened?”
“What do you mean, ‘what happened’? You’re starting to sound like One; you might want to mix it up a little,” I snap at him.
“Dude, we’re trying to help. We may sound like a broken record, but you’re getting nowhere.” Chord leans forward.
“You were there. I didn’t tell her I was married and that my wife was pregnant when she overdosed. Thayer can’t forgive it.” Glaring at his idiotic question.
“Yeah, I was there, but that’s not what made her walk away.” What the hell is he talking about?
“Then what did? Because from my place on the floor where she left me, she left me for those reasons.” Leaning forward, I set my elbows on my knees to listen. If he’s willing to help, I’m eager to listen.
“Whether you choose to believe it or not, we love you, Hardy. We all met that day at Thayer’s office because we had been worried sick over you.
Why can’t you understand that we love you?
No matter your past, your mistakes, or even your misgivings.
” Chord’s words carry conviction. His voice shaking as he delivers each word.
Damn. “You’re family. With or without you being with Thayer. I prefer it be with her, though.”
“From your lips to God’s ears. So what happened?” Repeating his words, I sit in silence.
“Hardy, it was never because of your past. There’s no way she wouldn’t still love you if that was so. Think about it.” Grabbing my keys before I can protest, he says, “I’m going to pull your truck into my garage. Don’t want the whole family flipping shit on me for harboring a fugitive.”
Looking around, I see a blanket and pillow on the end of the couch where Lulu lays.
Chord had already planned on me staying the night.
He’s as good a person as his siblings. Thayer.
Thinking of her brings tears again. How the hell will I ever fix this?
When Chord comes back in from moving my truck, I quickly wipe my eyes.
“Chord, thanks, man,” I say, pointing toward the bedding. He nods and starts through to his bedroom. Pausing, he turns to me.
“Hardy, she loves you. Think about how you would feel if Thayer didn’t believe you loved her. Or if she would’ve ever had doubts you believed in your love for each other.” He smiles.
“I would’ve never chanced losing One for anyone else. I believed in her, just not me. I had no clue she would hold on to me the way she has. She must believe I’m worth the fight.” I grind my palm into my eyes to dissipate the waterfall that’s sprung from them today.
I wake the following day, gather my things. and quietly leave. I’m not sure where to go or even what to do at this point.