Chapter 2
Lindsey
A person never forgets seeing their first dead body.
“Did you guys know I’ve seen another dead body once before?
Although that one hadn’t been quite as recently dead as those over there.
I mean, it doesn’t make any of them more or less dead just because the one I saw had been dead longer than those over there.
” I’m babbling and panicking, but I can’t stop.
Warm hands clasp the sides of my head and turn it away from the bodies—Bohnari and a few various other alien species—strewn across the street in the center of Preska. Dark brown eyes meet mine.
“Look at me,” Devon demands in a gentle tone. “Nowhere else, okay? Just look at me and breathe. Nice and slow. In and out.”
I match the rhythm of her breathing—never looking away—until finally mine syncs with hers and slows, eventually evening out. Somehow, I manage not to break down but still shudder.
“Okay now?” Devon asks.
I nod, and I have never been more grateful for my friend than when she steps between me and the dead bodies, blocking them from my view.
No one was supposed to die. That’s what we—the twenty winners chosen in a bridal lottery back on Earth—were told when we learned about the rebellion brewing on this planet. After we’d already arrived, of course.
The alarm that had been blaring when the attack began is silent now, but my ears still ring slightly.
When the rebels came and dragged us all from the housing complex where we live, they divided us into two groups of ten, and each group went in a separate direction.
We have no idea where the others are now.
Three of our group still huddle together against the nearby wall—crying—but the other three join Devon and me, who’ve already moved next to Quinn and Olivia.
The latter is pressed hard against the side of her new mate, Janik.
A mate who not only kidnapped her a short time ago, but who we also thought was the rebel leader.
Although, that doesn’t appear to be the case anymore, considering all we’ve found out about his mother and how she manipulated him and so many others.
Standing guard at Olivia’s other side is Janik’s massive alien wolf dog, Mak. I shudder once more at the blood coating the phinnek’s muzzle and the fact that she mauled more than one rebel to death.
“Do you think the others are okay?” Cadence asks.
“The guards will find them,” Quinn replies, although it’s not really an answer.
It must satisfy Cadence enough, because she nods.
“One of Horek’s guards was the one who helped me get out of the rebel camp after you took me,” Olivia tells Janik. “The one who brought me back to Preska. I’m just not sure if he’s Team Alik or Team Janik.”
Her mate stiffens. “Who was it?”
“Bannik.”
Janik curses. “He is part of the rebellion.”
That’s surprising since Bannik had been courting Quinn before she and Commander Horek fell in love.
“Actually, that makes sense,” Quinn notes. “He and I talked about the differences between the upper and bottom tiers. He was disgusted by the fact that there are people who are wealthier than they could ever need to be—and yet still want more. I guess his brother is like that.”
“His hatred for Carrik is well-known. It is how we were able to recruit him to join us,” Janik says. “We all believed Alik was no better. That he, too, always wanted more.”
Commander Horek approaches us and wraps Quinn in his arms. “Alik doesn’t care about wealth for himself. All he wants is for the Bohnari to thrive and for new generations to be born so that our planet does not die out.”
Considering there are now two mated Bohnari, the prince may get his wish.
The commander whispers something to Quinn, kisses her temple, and breaks away from our group to speak with the new Bohnari who have arrived, including several medical personnel. My gaze immediately seeks out the dead bodies lying on the ground.
“Look at me, Lindsey,” Devon commands in a tone I have no choice but to obey.
I force my attention back on her. She nods in approval.
All around us is organized chaos. With Mak glued to their hips, Janik and Olivia move away from the group and talk only to each other.
From the way he keeps running his hands up and down her arms, it’s as if he has to continue reassuring himself she’s okay.
Quinn, Cadence, and Geneva are working to comfort the other women, leaving Devon and me alone.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks quietly.
I know what she’s asking, and I shake my head. “Not really.”
Her expression softens with understanding. “If you change your mind, I’m here to listen anytime. You know that, right?”
I do. “Thank you.”
Devon squeezes my hand. “That’s what friends are for.”
“Horek is going to escort us to the dormitory,” Quinn says, approaching us with Olivia, Janik, and Mak. “The other guards are still looking for the rest of the women, and once they’re found, they’ll bring them home.”
With the commander in the lead, we all fall in line. Surrounding us is a contingent of guards. I can’t help but glance around at the destruction as we make our way through Preska. Bohnari, along with several other alien species who populate the city, wander around surveying the damage as well.
Crumbled buildings occupy a few blocks we pass. The market square looks like a war zone. Hollowed-out businesses have been reduced to nothing more than husks. Debris lies scattered across the once copper-hued brick streets. Now it’s covered in a thick layer of cold gray dust.
I jerk my gaze away from more Bohnari bodies and focus it on the back of Quinn’s head. The closer we get to our building, the less destruction we see. Finally, we make it. The place is surrounded by more guards. Inside is a disaster.
The potted trees that had stood tall and looming like sentinels now lie toppled over in defeat.
Plants are upended, and dirt is spread out around them.
Sofas and chairs are either tipped over or smashed together.
Broken glass is scattered everywhere as well.
It’s going to be a nightmare to clean up.
We reach the lift, while others decide to take the stairs to their respective floors.
We can’t all fit in the car—not with Mak as well—so we end up going in two groups.
Once Olivia, Janik, and Mak join us, we head down the walkway toward our rooms. We reach mine and everyone stops.
For the first time since this whole ordeal began, we group-hug with our heads pressed together in the center.
“What a fucking day, huh?” Olivia breathes out.
Somehow, we all manage to awkwardly and roughly chuckle, even though nothing about today has been remotely funny. We loosen our hold on one another and step back. Devon looks at me.
“Do you want company?”
I shake my head. “I’m okay, but thank you.”
Her mouth doesn’t quite form a smile, but it’s close. “If you change your mind, let me know.”
She and the others keep moving toward their own rooms. I let myself inside mine and sag against the closed door with a jagged breath.
When the rebels came, I didn’t fight. There hadn’t been a hint of resistance in me.
Glancing around my place, that’s evident.
It looks exactly like it did before they came.
Bold-colored pillows are carefully arranged on the plush sofa.
Artwork that’s both abstract—alien, more accurately—and realistic decorates the walls.
Several plants and flowers of varying species are in pots and vases, both on the floor and on table surfaces.
I’d picked up everything in the market that now resembles nothing more than a carcass.
I slowly walk forward with heavy feet. It’s as if I’m wading through a thick, viscous fluid.
My bedroom is also as I left it, with the bedcovers neatly pulled up and smoothed out so it looks freshly made.
Not a single article of clothing is on the floor or any other surface.
It’s all neat and tidy in my closet. The hygiene room is equally as put together.
No tooth cleanser mars the inside of the sink.
My brush and hair products are lined up in a straight row.
The small bathing pool sits in the middle of the room.
It glows an iridescent teal and gives off the most calming aroma, almost like lavender but not quite as flowery.
Faint puffs of steam rise from it. The need to strip down to nothing and slide beneath the water’s surface is tempting.
Except I don’t because, instead, the pretty Caribbean colors swirl and shift from blues and greens to blood red.
I swallow down the bile that threatens to rise.
A knock on my door startles me. I blink, and when I focus on the small pool, it’s returned to normal. The knock comes again, and I rush out of the hygiene room to answer it. I’m not surprised to find Devon on the other side.
“I know you said you were fine, but I’m kind of desperate for company, if you don’t mind.” She glances away sheepishly, and she has a hint of pink in her cheeks.
“You know I don’t.” I step back and she enters, heading straight for the sofa we’ve spent many nights on, talking about our lives back on Earth as well as the hopes and dreams we have for our lives here on Bohna.
I sit on the opposite end, but the sofa is really only big enough to hold three people at the most, so we’re still not far from each other.
She tips her head back and rests it on the cushion behind her.
Seconds later, her eyes close. I’m kind of glad she doesn’t appear to want to talk but, rather, really just didn’t want to be alone. I mirror her pose.
Within the silence, I do everything I can to forget about the day. But before long, the memories—both recent and past—come rushing to the forefront of my mind. I can’t shut out the images, and I can’t turn off the sounds.
It’s not until Devon squeezes my hand on the cushion between us that I realize I’m crying. Maybe she is too, but I don’t want to open my eyes. I want to think about happy things, not be reminded of the sad. Except that will never happen, because the sad never leaves. It hasn’t for ten years.