Chapter 7
Carrik
Ever since our last encounter, I have avoided the garden during daylight for fear I might run into Lindsey again.
Yet my body aches with fever and the need to locate her.
I don’t know if I will be able to hide the fact that I have a mate much longer.
Already, I am hearing whispered comments and witnessing discreet glances.
The physical changes that come with a Bohnari finding his heart’s fire are impossible to ignore.
No one has confronted me yet. Perhaps they also believe if they don’t acknowledge it, then it can’t be true. Except it is. And I can do nothing about it.
“Gods’ blood.” I push off the counter in the hygiene room and storm out.
I am tired of hiding in the barracks, so I make my way toward the market square. When I’m not on guard duty, I have been assisting with cleanup and rebuilding. It is the least I can do to try to make up for my mistakes. Most Bohnari ignore me, while others send me hate-filled glances.
Port has finally reopened for traders and those stopping to refuel.
It’s the one place I avoid. I don’t want to give Horek or Arvik the idea I might try to leave or meet with someone I shouldn’t be.
Booths have been erected once more for people to sell their wares, and the scents of smoked meats and fermented drinks linger.
A subtle shift of the wind brings with it another scent.
One that punches me in the gut and makes my fangs lengthen.
Our gods must be punishing me because I seek out its source, and on the other side of the market are Lindsey and another female.
They stand in front of a booth selling various plants and flowers.
Already, she carries a pot of nebjyre. Their leaves are rubbery, but the flowering teal buds give off bioluminescence. They are perfect for indoors.
Unbidden, I move closer, and with each step I take, my body heat intensifies. While no debilitating pain strikes me yet, another, more fervent ache grows. The need to fuck and claim. To fill Lindsey with my seed and watch her belly swell with it.
I swallow the groan and focus on my breathing.
Still, I move closer. Lindsey’s scent calls to me, and I inhale every note.
A tension enters her. It’s in the way her shoulders push back and her spine lengthens.
A single tick passes before she turns partially my way and searches for something. For…me?
Our eyes lock, and a flicker of awareness flashes in hers. I don’t need to glance at my flesh to know its coloring has deepened several shades or a reflective surface to know my eyes have darkened and the flame has sparked.
The other female speaks to Lindsey, but my heart’s fire doesn’t turn from me.
Her companion glances my direction and halts whatever it is she’s saying.
Without looking anywhere but at my mate, I move once more, closing the distance between us.
No matter what I tell myself, I can’t stop.
Not until I’m close enough to Lindsey I could reach out and touch her.
“Can we help you, Bannik?” the other female asks, and her use of that name yanks me back to the present, severing the hold my heart’s fire has on me.
I have no true answer because I shouldn’t be here. I’ve made more than my share of mistakes in life, and standing this near to the female I can’t have is the worst of them.
“Breathe, Bannik,” a soft but firm voice commands, and a cool, soothing touch brushes across my chest.
My vision comes into focus once more, and standing close enough to me that I can almost count each one of her eyelashes is Lindsey.
Concern furrows her brow. The scent of blood hits me at the same time a bead of liquid slides down my finger.
The pain of the puncture wounds in my palms reaches me and, with a hiss, I retract my claws.
“Ah, shit,” her friend rasps, but I don’t acknowledge her in any way.
Lindsey still has not removed her small hand from where it lies over my pounding heart.
“Better?” she whispers.
I jerk my head in a shaky nod. When Lindsey draws back from me, I mourn the loss of her touch. After clearing the roughness from my throat, I speak.
“My apologies.”
She glances between her companion and me. “Dev, would you mind giving us a minute?”
The other female—Dev—narrows her gaze at my heart’s fire. “You sure that’s a good idea?”
Lindsey blows out a puff of air. “Please?”
Dev turns her focus to me and glares before looking at my mate and softening. “I’ll be right over there.”
My heart’s fire’s mouth quirks, and her friend walks to a nearby vendor’s booth.
Close enough to keep an eye on us, but far enough away to offer a small amount of privacy.
An uncomfortable silence hangs between us, despite Lindsey asking for a moment of my time.
Still, I would give her however many she needs.
I shouldn’t, but the request would be impossible for me to ignore.
She finally clears her throat. “Why now?”
I also hear an unasked, “Why you?”
Even with all my discreet inquiries, I was not able to discover how well acquainted Bannik was with any of the females besides Quinn, whom he’d been courting before the commander realized she was his heart’s fire. But the rest, I am uncertain.
“I don’t know.” It is as truthful as I can be.
Lindsey releases a ragged breath. “We’ve been around each other several times before.
Danced with each other on numerous occasions.
Why is this happening now and not before?
And I don’t just mean before Quinn and Horek got together.
I mean before the rebel attack. Why did this have to happen after… everything?”
“I don’t know.” What else can I say?
Lindsey drops her head back between her shoulders, and she exhales heavily. She raises her head once more and stares.
“You’ve said you don’t know why you betrayed Alik or why this thing between us happened. What do you know?” She tosses her hands up in obvious frustration.
Hands I want touching me again. Lingering on my heated flesh. But that aching need must stay locked up tight.
“I know you believe me to be a traitor to my people.” The ache worsens. “I also know there is no future for us.”
A flicker of…pain, perhaps, crosses her face. “Not that I’m saying I want there to be a future, but you sound awfully certain of that.”
An ember inside me surges to life. Lindsey also isn’t saying she doesn’t want there to be. No, I cannot let myself think that way.
“Am I wrong?” Tell me I’m not.
Lindsey tosses her hands up once again. “No. I mean, I don’t know.
I’m not Bohnari, and even though Olivia and Quinn are mated to two of them, I don’t really understand how it all works.
The mating fever and being what you guys consider mates or heart’s fire or whatever.
I mean, I know the obvious physical changes like the darkening skin and the changing eye color. But beyond that?”
Gods’ blood, there is so much more than that. So much more.
“There is no need to concern yourself with anything beyond that.”
Lindsey’s mouth falls open, and I can’t draw my gaze from it.
“You’re kidding, right? Are you seriously going to stand there and tell me not to be concerned over something that affects my entire life? My entire existence?”
She curls her lip, nearly slams down the plant she’s still carrying onto the table, and storms away toward her friend.
They weave through the market until they’re gone from my sight.
I should go after her, but it’s better this way.
Fuel Lindsey’s dislike of me—of Bannik—so she doesn’t wish, or hope, for things I can’t give her.
“There’s no escaping it,” a male voice advises from nearby. A familiar voice.
Janik—with Mak at his side—is at the neighboring booth, which displays an array of fine fabrics in bold, beautiful colors.
“Your heart’s fire,” he clarifies, as if I didn’t already know what he meant. “The kanet powder is useless to you now, but I suspect you’ve discovered that on your own.”
In that regard, Janik is correct. I don’t acknowledge the fact, though.
“I have nothing to escape.”
His laughter booms through the market, turning curious gazes our direction. “If that is what you believe.” With a single stroke of Mak’s head, he and the phinnek walk away.
I stand there a moment longer before turning my attention to the Bohnari selling the plants and flowers. I pick up the most recently held one. The vendor scans a code displayed on my wrist comm and removes the credits from my account.
“See that this gets delivered to the female called Lindsey.” With those brief instructions, I leave the market and head to the barracks to think about what I’m going to do.
Beyond the perimeter of the square, far fewer people walk the streets.
Everything around me becomes quieter as I travel down narrow passageways carved between buildings.
One side is cast in shadows, while the other side is blinding with a reflective light that bounces off the shiny copper surface of the wall.
A scuttling sound comes from just up ahead.
My pace slows, and I remain alert and ready for whatever it might be.
Someone trying to ambush me for my alleged betrayal, perhaps.
I’m not wearing my guard’s uniform, but it wouldn’t matter, considering I’m not allowed to carry a weapon with lethal capacity.
Little does anyone know I am a lethal weapon.
Slowly, a shadow shifts and moves. From out of a darkened doorway steps a Bohnari.
“Greetings, Bannik.”
“Ryvik.” I nod in acknowledgment.
The male before me organized and meticulously planned—down to a single detail at the exact tick—every rebel raid that occurred under Janik’s command. I have no reason to suspect he was not the mastermind behind the recent massive attack orchestrated by Mohneek and Orvak.
“I’d been told you had returned to guard duty,” he notes.
“Yes.”
Ryvik grins, but something about it sets my teeth on edge. From my understanding, he’d been one of the more than one hundred former rebels who swore fealty to the queen.
“That is very loyal of you,” he remarks.
“Like you, I gave my allegiance to Queen Veroneek.”
“Yes, like me.” He strides forward and begins to pass by when he stops. “Loyalty is important after all. Enjoy your next shift rotation.”
With that, he exits the passageway onto the main street and takes a right turn. I remain standing in this same spot long after the sound of his footsteps disappears.