Chapter 6
Lindsey
Life has returned to relative normalcy. Rebuilding still occurs, but slowly.
The depressive fog has lifted and been replaced by a tenuous determination.
During the times I’ve made myself leave my apartment for the cafeteria, I’ve noticed Cadence and Molly sitting in their usual seats in the now put-to-rights atrium.
Based on the view through the wall of windows opposite the walkway right outside my door, a timid hive of activity emerges at the palace.
Not that I can see inside the building, but the courtyard and other visible parts of the grounds have shown constant movement the last few days.
Quinn and Olivia spend more time with their mates than they do with Devon and me.
I’m not mad about it because I’m so happy they’ve found husbands who utterly adore them.
But with their absence, I’m reminded of how lonely I can get.
Devon and I have hung out a few times in the last week, but she’s been unusually quiet.
Like she’s all up in her head. I suppose I could try to befriend some of the other women, but I just can’t gather the energy.
My friendship with Devon, Quinn, and Olivia has been incredibly easy.
I think Olivia’s extroverted and outgoing personality has helped level out my introverted self.
She’s happy to drag us along, and I’m happy to follow.
I fill up the small watering can and make my rounds through my apartment. Each plant and flower comes with a monitor that tells me when I’ve given it enough water or when I need to feed it certain food and which nutrients it’s low on.
“You’re looking exceptionally beautiful today.” I stroke the leaves of the bright purple postikar plant.
It’s only my fanciful imagination, but I swear they perk up even more at my compliments. Although, we are on an alien planet, so I suppose anything is possible. I’m not quite sure how I’d handle sentient plants, though.
Moving from plant to plant, I continue my watering with varying versions of “you’re beautiful,” until every last one has been taken care of.
After I’ve dumped out the remaining water, I turn and lean against the counter—its edge digging into my lower back—and survey my home.
It’s such a stark contrast to my tiny rented room back in the bottom tier.
Not just the size or the colors or the plants.
Before the rebel attack, I’d felt…I don’t know, lighter maybe than I ever had. Notwithstanding the whole debacle with Lorik. I have a beautiful apartment. Amazing friends. Things are pretty near perfect. I should have known it would all go to shit.
“Ugh.” I push off the counter with a groan of disgust. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Linds.”
Self-pity is a terrible look.
Determined to be done moping around, I put on my shoes and head out of my apartment toward the lift. For a second, I consider going to Devon’s first, but I’m not sure it’s in me to be sociable at the moment. Even with her.
The atrium is surprisingly empty. Usually, a few of the women hang out alone or with one of the Bohnari males.
The entire reason we’re here is to find a husband, and while a few matches have finally been made, still well more than half of us haven’t clicked with anyone.
Of course, since the attack, everyone’s been busy.
The guards at the door open it for me. This is the first time in over a week I’ve been outside by myself.
“Do you need an escort?” one of them asks.
“No, but thank you. I’m just going to the botanical garden.”
At least if something does happen, they know where to start looking. He nods, and I wave goodbye to them both.
The streets of Preska are lined with so many trees that provide a nice amount of shade from the sun that makes everything bright and shiny.
It’s such a contrast to the bottom tier.
The copper and teal colors complement each other so well, and they’re highlighted by pops of white, royal blue, and purple.
Bohnari and various other species of aliens walk around, something I’ve slowly gotten used to. On occasion, alien emissaries had visited Earth, but as part of the bottom tier, we weren’t privy to ever seeing them. It’s not as if they toured the area.
Again, the fragrance of the botanical garden reaches me well before I arrive.
I can pick out certain notes, like the calanthium and postikar flowers, considering the latter is my favorite.
Two guards stride past and nod in acknowledgment.
Finally, the entrance comes into view. It’s just as pretty as it was when Liv, Quinn, Devon, and I visited last week.
Despite the sunshine, the air is a few degrees cooler within the boundary of it. Goose bumps line my arms, and I rub my hands up and down to generate some friction to warm them.
Placards designate different flowers and plants, but they’re written in a language I can’t read. I should have brought my data pad so I could take pictures to run through the database later for the translated information. Maybe next time.
I pause every so often and breathe in the scents.
Mostly, I just walk and appreciate the beauty that surrounds me.
I’m somewhere near the farthest part of the garden when I spot a Bohnari male sitting on one of the benches in front of an arch, twined through with kavaki vines and calanthium flowers, that leads down a branching path.
His copper skin is struck by a single beam of light that’s managed to break through the foliage.
The way it shines on the inch of exposed flesh sends a bolt of heat rushing through me.
I have a sudden urge to touch the spot and absorb the warmth.
I shouldn’t stare, but he’s got his head tipped back and his eyes closed. There’s a breathtaking quality to him and how at peace he appears. I’m pretty sure I stop breathing. When his eyes snap open and meet mine, I know I do.
Recognition hits me, and whatever weird sensation I’m experiencing vanishes.
His gaze instantly shutters as well, but the impression I’d gotten before of his eyes darkening with a flash of fire occurs again.
I shake it off because this is Bannik, alleged former rebel and someone who’d actively courted Quinn.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.” I move to turn and head the opposite direction, but his gravelly voice stops me.
“You’re not intruding.”
I pause halfway around and slowly face his direction again. Bannik hasn’t moved, but there’s a shift in how he holds himself. I can’t put a finger on exactly what it is, but a subtle difference in this version of him from the one I’ve seen before is present.
It’s then I notice he’s not wearing his guard uniform, but rather a sleeveless black shirt that stretches taut over his chest and stomach.
The outline of his abdominal muscles is stark.
As is the bulge in his pants. I quickly draw my gaze away and curse at how easily I blush. I can feel my neck and cheeks grow hot.
“Off duty today?” I mentally smack my forehead because obviously he is, or why else would he be sitting here wearing regular clothes instead of his uniform?
Something like a grin appears on his lips, but it’s only a flicker of movement. “My rotation starts soon. I’m merely taking a small respite before the long night ahead.”
I shove my hands in my pockets and rock slightly back and forth on the balls of my feet. All while avoiding looking directly at him.
“Are you, too, judging me harshly for my poor decisions?” Bannik asks, breaking the awkward silence that had settled between us.
I jerk my gaze his way and finally notice a guarded look in his eyes.
“So many of your people died.” I try to keep the bite out of my words, but I guess I don’t succeed because Bannik flinches.
“That is something I will have to live with.”
I study him a little harder, and somehow, I’m moving forward until I lower myself onto the bench as well. We’re nowhere near touching, and yet I can feel heat radiating off him.
“Why did you do it?” I barely know Bannik and it’s an intrusive question, but I can’t—won’t—take it back. “I mean, you knew Alik brought us here to save your people. What possessed you to even think he cared only for himself? Or that he would intentionally withhold kanet powder for financial gain?”
His gaze bores into mine, and that small flame flickers to life again. Bannik’s nostrils flare, and the way the muscles flex along his jawline makes me think he’s clenching his teeth. He blinks, and whatever I imagine I see is gone. Yet the lingering heat still burns through me.
“There are no excuses or reasons that would make sense to you beyond the animosity I feel for my brother,” Bannik finally says flatly.
I shake my head because that’s a zero-accountability answer. Annoyed I even asked, I push up from the bench to leave with a disgusted huff. He clasps my arm, and a spark of electricity skates along the length of it. I whip my head to the side to stare wide-eyed at him.
Bannik’s copper skin darkens, including the scales across his shoulders.
Fire dances in his gaze. Just as quickly, he releases me, yanks the vial of kanet powder from his pocket, and hastily inhales a dose.
Some of it spills down the front of his shirt, a pale cloud of lavender dust left in its wake.
“Forgive me,” he says, and before I can respond, he bolts to his feet and walks away with long, loping strides.
I sit and stare in the direction he nearly sprinted toward to get away from me. My skin hums and tingles where he touched me. I rub the spot. What the hell was that? More importantly, what the hell am I going to do about it? Because I can say with certainty that whatever it was, it’s new.
Bannik and I danced multiple times at both parties the queen threw for us after our arrival.
We even danced at Quinn and Horek’s mating ceremony, where I once caught him staring at my friend with a look of regret.
I may not have a Bohnari husband, but I’ve been around two Bohnari-human couples enough times to know what the flames in their eyes and their darkening skin tone mean.
Both Quinn and Olivia explained what a Bohnari’s heart’s fire is. It’s the single female who soothes the beast that emerges with the mating fever. The beast that only wants to kill and destroy. Unless the male meets the single female who can calm it.
A giant ball of anxiety settles like a weight in my stomach.
This can’t be happening. I have to have imagined the changes I witnessed in Bannik. There’s no way I can be the heart’s fire of a rebel spy whose actions led to the deaths of people. I just can’t be.
As if sensing the rising panic building inside me, a cool breeze whips through the surrounding trees and a cold chill skates across the back of my neck, despite the sun peeking through the branches to shine directly on me.
I force myself to take even breaths until I’ve calmed enough to rush back to my apartment in record time. Inside, I throw myself onto the bed and close my eyes to try to regulate my breathing, but it’s difficult.
Shit.
This is bad. Really, really bad.