Chapter 9
Carrik
The prickles of pain I’ve been experiencing since Lindsey left me in the market square slowly ease as we head toward my room.
I’d rather not have her set foot in there.
In fact, it’s my worst fear come to life, because the moment she does, I’ll never get the scent of her out.
But it is the only place we can go and have privacy.
I can feel Lindsey’s stare boring into my back. Her fierce disregard for my warning would have been amusing if not for the fact that I’m not sure I’ll be able to control this ever-growing need for her. Especially alone in my quarters with a bed only steps away. Far too soon, we reach my room.
I open the door and gesture for Lindsey to proceed.
She walks by, and I close my eyes as her fragrance washes over me.
My cock hardens, and my fangs lengthen with a sweet intensity to mark her as mine for everyone to see.
I take longer than I should to close the door that seals us inside together and nearly curse her for torturing me like this, but the blame belongs to me, not her.
Whatever Lindsey came here for needs to finish quickly, though.
She finally turns toward me. The same uncertainty crosses her face as it had in the market, and she remains silent.
“I’m not sure what else there is to discuss that we haven’t already.” If she won’t get the conversation going, then I’ll need to.
“I just left the archives building,” she says.
That surprises me. What reason would she have to go there? “I didn’t realize humans had any interest in the history of the Bohnari.”
Lindsey shrugs. “Most probably don’t, but I find that sort of thing interesting. I enjoy learning and gaining knowledge.”
As do I.
“Were you there to learn anything specific?”
She wrings her hands in front of her and shifts awkwardly.
“Do you think we could sit or something?” She gestures vaguely in the direction of the sofa.
I’m hit with guilt for not offering her a seat to begin with. “Of course. Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, but thank you.” She crosses the room and lowers herself onto the sofa, as far from the other end as possible.
With great reluctance, I do the same. Lindsey pivots slightly, and I flinch at how her leg is that much closer to mine, although she barely moved. Already, my body grows hotter as fire courses through my veins.
“I was reading about Bohnari and mates,” she says. “Not just mates, I mean, but heart’s fires.”
“I see.”
Lindsey clears her throat and shifts once again, bringing her leg even closer. I can tell it’s not intentional. There is far too much nervous energy surrounding her.
She makes a face. “You’re not going to make this easier on me, are you?”
I cock my head. “What would you like me to say, Lindsey?”
“God, I don’t remember you being such an asshole.” She lunges off the sofa and heads for the door. “You know what? Just forget it. Coming here was a mistake.”
Before I can stop myself, I go after her.
The moment I touch her, though, any resistance and control I’d been holding on to is gone.
She whirls around, perhaps to berate me, but I don’t give her a chance.
My mouth crashes down on hers, claiming her lips in a kiss that sets my blood on fire.
The best—worst—part is, she returns the heated kiss without hesitation.
I lick at the seam of her mouth, and she opens so sweetly for me. Our tongues glide together, and a shudder rushes through me at the feel of her hands clutching my head and the bite of pain where she grips my hair in her fist.
Her body is soft against the hardness of my own.
I close the distance between us even more—desperate to become a single entity with her.
My thigh slides between her legs, and she moans at the contact.
We fit together perfectly. It’s she who deepens the kiss.
She drinks from me as a female quenching her dying thirst. I’ll give it all to her. Whatever she needs, I’ll provide.
The fever inside me burns hotter and hotter. To the point where I believe it will consume us both, and yet, it’s the most exquisite sensation that I welcome the burn.
Lindsey rocks herself on my thigh, and dampness from her wet cunt soaks through my trou. I swallow every moan—every whimper—she makes. They’re a beautiful melody to my ear.
“Bannik,” she whimpers in a ragged plea.
That single word does what nothing else could. I rip myself away from her and drag in gulps of air. My chest heaves with the effort, and my cock throbs with the need to fuck her. To claim her. To mark her as mine for every other Bohnari to see.
Her features shift from confusion to hurt before landing on anger. The emotion radiates from her rigid form.
“I apologize. That should not have happened.” It escapes through clenched teeth, and I run my hand across the back of my neck.
Lindsey slowly swivels her head, and the anger drains from her. What replaces it is far more devastating. Her whole body sags in defeat as she takes several steps back. The space between us widens to the point we may as well be light-years apart.
She expels a small sigh and won’t look me in the eye.
“When the president announced the bridal lottery and said all the women of childbearing age from the bottom tier were the only ones eligible, I laughed. She had to be kidding, right? I mean, we were nobodies to the upper tier. Worthless garbage. So I knew there had to be a catch. Even though I figured this would be nothing more than a lark, I entered my name. Not because I actually thought I’d be chosen.
I did it for nothing more than to play their game. ”
Lindsey wraps her arms around herself, and I wish it could be me doing that for her. Holding her. Comforting her.
“When they did, in fact, call my name, and after we first arrived,” she continues, “I really started to believe something good would come out of this. That I’d be able to have a new life here.
That I’d somehow find a Bohnari husband and wouldn’t go to sleep every night praying that when I woke up this wasn’t something I’d dreamed up. ”
Finally, Lindsey looks at me. Tears shimmer in her eyes. “I signed up for the lottery as a joke, but I guess the joke’s on me, huh?”
My feet remain frozen to the floor even as she watches me for several ticks before she walks to the door and lets herself out. It isn’t until she’s been gone long enough for me to know she’s not coming back that I move.
“Gods’ blood.” I have managed to make it worse for both of us.
If she was thorough in her research—and I suspect she was—then I can guess as to what brought her here.
I’m fully aware of the consequences of an unfulfilled heart’s fire bond.
But I will not tie her to me. Not only because she thinks I am Bannik, but also because she believes him to be a murderer.
Mating with her would only be for my own gain.
Lindsey deserves better, and it would be selfish of me to do that to her.
I need to find Mohneek and Orvak, bring them to justice once and for all, and then disappear from Preska. Except that means I’ll need to release Bannik, and the truth will come out that he is not Lindsey’s mate. My life will be over, both as a spy but also in truth.
Imprisoning Bannik had been a mistake—an impulse I did not think through. Most likely because I have never been impulsive. Not once in my life. My brother will never keep my true identity secret when this is over, and I don’t blame him. Not after everything.
But even if I could be mated to Lindsey as Carrik, she would be in danger because of my past. My secret would be revealed, and if anything happened to her because of me, I would never forgive myself.
Thoughts of danger bring with them my encounter with Ryvik.
The whole incident sets off alarms within me, and I’ve learned never to ignore them.
My wrist comm beeps, and I read the message on the screen. Why is everyone in the barracks being summoned to the galley for a debriefing? It’s nearly time for my shift to start, so I quickly change into my guard’s uniform and make my way through the halls.
A crowd has already gathered, and at its center is Commander Horek. I remain near the perimeter for at least five more ticks before everyone comes to attention. Silence descends until the only sound is the collective breathing of the occupants.
“As you have all been made aware, the possibility exists that Janik, former leader of the rebellion, is the long-lost son of King Danik and Queen Veroneek. I have just come from the medical facility where Vornak has conducted extensive testing of Janik’s blood as well as that of Queen Veroneek and myself.
” Horek scans the crowd. “Results have determined that Janik is, in fact, Prince Barrik and rightful heir to the crown of Bohna.”
Rumblings spread out around the group. There are murmurs of disbelief and grumbles of anger.
At the same time, my father’s voice echoes once more in my head about my loyalty and whom I serve.
If Janik—Barrik—is the rightful heir, then I am in service to him and not Alik.
My life is devoted to the king and his eldest progeny upon his death.
Which means my allegiance is to Janik now.
I need to alert Ivik, although I suspect this news will travel across Bohna quickly.
Movement snaps me to attention. The guards are dispersing, while I remain frozen in place.
A shadow crosses my face, and Horek stands in front of me.
His assessing gaze travels along my bare shoulders and down my arms before returning to my face. He homes in on my eyes.
“Who is it?” he asks. “Does she know?”
I should have suspected nothing would escape the commander.
“Does it matter? I have no intention of pursuing her.”
This announcement appears to surprise him. “You do understand what will happen if you decide on that course of action?”
“Yes.”
Horek shakes his head. “There is a female who has come to our planet to find her mate. To have kits. Perhaps even to find love. You would withhold that from her? For what? Because you think you are not worthy of her or whatever excuse you are making? I did not believe you to be so cruel, Bannik.”
I flinch. “She believes me to be a traitor and a murderer. I don’t think she has any interest in being my mate.” Lindsey made that clear.
“Are you those things?”
No, but I cannot admit that. At least not all of it. “I am no murderer.”
“Have you told her that?”
“No.”
Horek silently observes me for several more ticks. “Perhaps you should. Let her decide for herself whether you are worthy of being forgiven for whatever choices you made.”
With that, he walks away. The galley has emptied of all the other guards in the time we spoke.
I hadn’t even noticed. The commander’s words replay in my mind.
I should ignore them. In fact, I have every intention of doing so.
My decision has been made. It’s better for Lindsey.
Once I am gone from this world, she can find a different mate.
A better mate. One who doesn’t live in the shadows.