Chapter 12
Lindsey
For at least the twentieth time this morning, I get up from the sofa and find something random to keep me occupied.
I’ve already watered and fed all my plants, including the one Bannik bought and had delivered.
I still need to pay him back for it too.
I’ve cleaned my apartment, despite the fact that there are bots who already come and take care of it.
I’ve also hand-washed my dishes instead of letting the auto washer do it. I’ve rearranged the throw pillows. I’ve played several online games of Damshah and read a book on the data pad—or at least tried.
This time, I open the cooling unit, grab a handful of lulesh berries, and toss a couple in my mouth.
We all keep a stash of them in our apartments because they’re Mak’s favorite snack.
She’s become one spoiled phinnek. Thinking of her reminds me of Beck, Alik’s phinnek pup.
I’m sure he’s being well taken care of while the prince is incapacitated, but the poor thing has to be missing him.
Right when I pop the last few berries into my mouth, the chime announcing someone’s arrival sounds.
It startles me so badly, I nearly choke.
I manage to pull myself together before I reach the door, swallowing quickly before opening it.
All the air leaves my lungs. Once again, Bannik’s dressed entirely in black, from the skintight sleeveless shirt that molds perfectly to every rippling muscle to the pants that cup his… Wow.
I jerk my gaze up and meet his eyes that are filled with flames, but also amusement.
“Wou—would you like to come in?” My voice cracks from a throat that’s gone completely dry, and I step back in further invitation.
Too late, I smack myself for asking as he stands in the middle of my sitting area, making the room entirely too small and filling it with his crisp, clean, soapy scent. I’ll never get the smell out, not even if I fill the entire place with more plants and flowers than are already in here.
“If you are uncomfortable with my presence in your space, I am happy to go elsewhere if that is what you’d prefer,” Bannik says softly.
“No”—my head rattles—“it’s not that.”
“Are you certain?” he asks.
“Positive.” I glance around. “I know we talked about maybe going to the botanical garden, but have you eaten yet? I wasn’t sure what time you’d get here, but I can order breakfast from the kitchen. We have our own chef.”
It’s not as if I’ve never been on a date before, but this is different.
“Only if you are hungry and it’s not too much trouble.”
“I could definitely eat, and it’s no trouble.
We frequently order food at random times, so the cook is used to us.
Anything specific you want? I usually just order vezze and a couple slices of derima.
It’s the closest thing to eggs and bacon I’ve found here, which is a common morning meal back on Earth. ”
“I will take that as well.”
Of course, I can’t help myself from eyeballing Bannik from head to toe. “Are you sure that will be enough? I don’t want you leaving here hungry.”
His eyes darken further, and flames dance in their depths, making me squirmy, but in a good way.
“It will sate me enough. For now.” The undercurrent of heat in his voice ripples over me.
I have an incredible urge to fan myself.
Feeling intensely flustered, I comm down to the kitchen and place my order.
My gut tells me it’s going to be a long twenty minutes before it’s ready.
With a deep breath, I turn to face Bannik, only to find him wandering through my space, taking in all the plants and flowers scattered around.
I study him while his attention is diverted.
He looks relaxed. At home. Almost as if he belongs here.
There’s also a difference to him from what I remember, but I can’t pinpoint what exactly.
It’s not as though I paid any special attention to him.
His only interest had been in Quinn. Somehow, this male before me isn’t the same one.
There’s no explanation for it, and yet the feeling won’t leave me.
Bannik pauses at one of my many postikar plants and strokes its leaves. A shiver courses down my spine, and I’m imagining it’s me he touches so gently and tenderly. As if sensing my gaze on him, he glances over his shoulder, and I’m struck once more by how beautiful he is.
I clear my throat, and my cheeks grow even hotter. “Food should be ready in about fifteen or twenty minutes.”
He nods and shifts his focus back to the plant. “You have some beautiful flowers.”
“Thank you.” I gesture to the sofa. “Would you like to sit?”
Bannik strides past me and brings with him his clean scent. I close my eyes and try to ignore the warm sensations that trickle through me and settle low in my belly. Not wanting to appear weird or afraid, I follow and situate myself at the opposite end from where he lounges far too casually.
“So…” Shit, this is awkward. I’ve never been good with small talk. Or any talk, really. I tap my fingers on my thigh, my entire being fraught with nerves.
“Lindsey, look at me,” Bannik instructs gently.
With a deep breath, I do as he says. The way he watches me makes my belly do flips. Especially when he smiles like he currently is. “Am I truly so terrifying?”
Nervous laughter spills from my lips. “No, I don’t suppose you are.”
“I am glad, because I have no wish for you to fear me.”
I try to settle more comfortably on the sofa. “I’m not afraid of you. Just nervous, I guess.”
“Why are you nervous? We are merely getting to know each other. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.”
Despite all the things I’d believed he’d done, I somehow know that.
“I guess because I don’t really know what to say to you.
Or what to talk about. All my life, I’ve struggled making friends.
The friends I have now—Olivia, Devon, and Quinn—are because I was fortunate to get pulled into their circle by some happy accident. ”
Saying it out loud sounds a little sad and pitiful if I think too hard about it.
“I, too, find it difficult to make friends,” Bannik says, and it shocks me to hear him admit that.
“What about the other reb—” I wince. “Sorry.”
“There is no need to be sorry. We both know I was part of the rebellion, even if it was for the wrong reasons.” Bannik smiles, but it’s filled with sadness. “We may have supported what I thought was the same cause, but I wouldn’t call any of them friends.”
I cock my head. “What about the other guards? Before everything, I mean?”
“They are males I trust to work alongside and help to make sure the prince and people of Bohna are safe. But they are not males I confide in or spend time with beyond our patrol shifts.”
Wow, and here I thought I lived a lonely life. “It must also be difficult not having a relationship with your brother.”
Bannik flinches, and I regret bringing it up.
“It has always been complicated between us.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.”
An awkward moment passes before I clear my throat. “You can talk to me anytime. If you need someone to listen. Sometimes that’s the hardest thing. Just finding someone who will listen to you.”
Bannik reaches the short distance between us and clasps my hand. Heat shoots up my arm and hits me straight in the chest.
“I will think on your generous offer.”
I nod shakily and take in a stuttered breath. “Good, because I mean it.”
“I, too, would offer this kindness in return,” Bannik replies.
My heart beats at a frantic pace, and it’s not entirely from nerves. The way he holds my hand and all the different sensations bombarding me don’t help. Confusion runs rampant. So does arousal. That scares me the most.
“What about the rest of your family? Do you get along?” I’m really trying.
“There isn’t anyone else. Only my brother and me.”
“What’s his name?”
A pained expression dashes across Bannik’s face, and I quickly apologize. “Sorry. If you’d rather not talk about him, I understand.”
He shakes his head. “His name is Carrik.”
“I have two younger brothers. Well, half brothers.”
“Half?”
“Oh.” I should have guessed they don’t have that terminology on Bohna. “We share the same father but have different mothers.”
“I see,” he says. “And you are not close with these younger brothers?”
“Not even a little bit. My mom died when I was a couple years old, and my dad remarried. Mostly because he didn’t want to have to deal with me.” I shrug with self-deprecation. “He never wanted a girl, so even from birth, I was a huge disappointment.”
“Females are a blessing,” Bannik fiercely defends.
“I agree, but not so much my dad.” One would think it’d stop hurting after all these years, but I suspect there will always be a dull ache that goes along with the knowledge.
“Anyway, he found a new wife who was able to give him the sons he always wanted. They were holy terrors growing up and never changed.”
“Any kits I have will be loved equally.”
My cheeks heat, and a tingling sensation starts up in my belly because Bannik’s kids would also be mine.
“So, you want kids?” I force myself to ask.
He stares intently at me, and his already-dark eyes darken even more while the fire dances in them. “Do you?”
“Nope. I asked you first.” I can’t help but smile.
Before my brain can process what he’s doing, he smoothly scoots over until our thighs are pressed tightly against each other, and he cradles my face in his large, callused palm.
“I wish for nothing more than to see your belly swollen with my kit. I would take great pleasure in filling you so full of my seed that it has no choice but to take root.”
Oh. My. God. My clit throbs and wetness leaks from me. Bannik’s words should be a complete turnoff, but no one has ever looked at me the way he does. As if he wants to devour me. It’s a heady sensation. So much so that I give in to the incredible urge to kiss him.
I practically leap forward and smash my whole body against his as our mouths collide.
Whimpering sounds of need rise up from my throat and spill out.
Bannik captures each one and swallows them down.
His hands go to my ass, and he grips it in a vise-like hold.
It molds us together, and the large, stiff bar of his erection slots right between my thighs.
Giving in to the sweet, sharp need piercing me, I rock my hips, trying to increase the friction against my clit.
Distantly, a sound grapples for my attention.
It’s not until Bannik goes still beneath me that I realize it’s not my imagination.
I lift my head and stare down at him with his flaming eyes and damp lips.
The sound blares again, and it takes a second for me to process it’s my comm unit going off. I scramble off his lap to answer it, and I’m not sure if I should thank or curse the chef for letting me know our food’s ready.
“Thank you. I’ll be right down to get it.”
I end the comm and force myself to glance over at the guy still reclined and looking far too relaxed on my sofa.
“Our breakfast is ready.” I gesture toward the door. “I’m just going to run down and pick it up.”
Bannik moves to rise. “I can go if you’d like.”
I wave him down, and he settles back. “No, um, I’ll only be a few minutes.”
Before I can combust, I hurry out of my apartment for the lift. The time away from him will hopefully give me a chance to cool off, breathe, and, if I’m lucky, think.