Chapter 13
Carrik
The moment Lindsey closes the door, I hurry to the hygiene room and release my throbbing cock.
I palm its length and quickly stroke myself to release.
Thick ropes of seed shoot down the drain of the cleansing stall, and as the water rinses it away, I almost mourn the fact that it’s been wasted on anything but being inside my mate.
With the edge taken off, I carefully refasten my trou, wash my hands, and return to the sofa to wait.
Before I can sit, I change my mind and walk into the kitchen area and get us both something to drink.
In Lindsey’s cooling unit is a jug of what smells like plyka.
The fresh, berry flavor will go well with our meal.
I pour two glasses and turn to lean against the counter so I can once more survey my mate’s living space.
It’s warm and inviting, as well as neat and tidy.
She clearly loves bold colors and flowers.
They’re all well taken care of and thriving.
I’m not sure if I should make anything of the fact that the one I purchased and had delivered sits alone, but in a prominent spot.
It had drawn my eye almost from the moment I walked through the door.
Art covers Lindsey’s walls and tells me a lot about her.
She surrounds herself with happiness. When I had entered and exited the hygiene room, I forced myself not to cast anything more than a quick glance at the bed that sat only a short distance away.
It had been neatly made with the head cushions plumped, something I, too, do.
Bannik had always been slightly messy, and not once in all the time I knew him before the rift happened between us had he ever made his bed. Had that changed since then or even since he entered the guards? I wish I knew. It would be one small scrap of my brother I could hold on to.
The electric panel at the door beeps, and it opens. Lindsey walks in carrying a large tray with two covered platters. I rush over to take it from her.
“You should have let me get it.” I would have insisted on getting it myself if I had known.
She chuckles softly. “It’s not a big deal, really. When the girls come over, there’s sometimes twice as much as this, and I still manage.”
“But you shouldn’t have to.” Do her friends not help with the burden?
“Hey.” She places her hand on my arm, and the fire burning through me grows hotter. “It’s fine. Each of them does the same thing when she hosts us at her place.”
That makes me feel only marginally better. “I still wish you would have allowed me. You deserve to be taken care of.”
Lindsey’s cheeks darken in color, and she ducks her head. “Next time, I’ll let you.”
My heart skips a beat that she believes we will have another meal together. If only we could share all of them. I place the tray on the counter and remove the lids. The delicious aroma already present grows stronger.
“Do you want to eat at the table or on the sofa?” she asks. “We tend to eat in the living area, but I can behave like a civilized person for once.”
I love the humor I can sense coming from her. Ivik has told me often that I’m far too serious, but I have never learned to be anything but.
“Civilized is something I am far too much of. Perhaps you can show me there is more to life than just that.”
Lindsey studies me a moment without blinking. “I’ve seen you briefly cut loose a few times. You seemed pretty…not uncivilized per se…but laid-back and carefree on those minor occasions.”
Inwardly, I wince. How could I have forgotten for even a tick that I am not Carrik? “Perhaps it was the company I kept at the time.”
She continues observing me, and I hold my breath, waiting for her to question me once more or let it pass. Thankfully, she lets it go.
“Why don’t we eat in the living area, then?” Lindsey decides.
I take both of our plates in there, and she follows with our drinks and places them on the table next to where I place our food.
It isn’t until I sit that I realize how close we are to each other.
She wreaks havoc on my senses, especially with each small sound of appreciation she makes after taking a few bites.
They go directly to my cock that hasn’t fully softened, despite my release in the hygiene room not that long ago.
“You are right. The food here is wonderful.” I need to distract myself.
Lindsey wipes her mouth with a cloth, and I follow her movements. “The cook really outdoes himself sometimes. I have to remind myself there’s plenty more where it came from and I’m not suddenly going to be eating protein bars again, but occasionally, I forget.”
“Protein bars?”
She looks at me strangely once more but continues.
“Back on Earth, that’s what those of us in the bottom tier ate.
It wasn’t until I got on the Bohnari ship to come here that I tried real, genuine food.
Man, I was so sick those first few days.
Shit, sorry, I shouldn’t bring that up while we’re eating. ”
I chuckle. “It is fine, and I am glad you have gotten used to more than just a protein bar.”
Lindsey glances around before her gaze lands on me. “There are times I worry my name being called in the lottery was a mistake. That one of these days, Alik—well, Janik, I guess—will get a comm from the president with a directive to send me back. That I don’t belong here.”
I wipe my hand on my cloth and cradle her jaw, never once taking my eyes off her. “You will never have to go back to that place. Not ever. I swear to you. Bohna is where you belong. I won’t allow anyone, no matter who they are, to take you from here if you don’t wish to leave.”
“You promise?” The green of her eyes sparkles with unshed tears.
I kiss her gently and rest my brow against hers. “I promise.”
Despite the time that has passed since I spent the morning with Lindsey, the blood in my veins hasn’t cooled.
The fever burns hot through me and will only get worse.
But I will not push her for anything she is not ready to give.
The kisses we have shared are more than I could have asked for, given the circumstances.
The pain of our unfulfilled mate bond is minor still and manageable.
Thoughts of her and the way she’d splayed herself over me before we’d eaten harden my cock once more. It’s a state I’ve spent much time in since meeting my heart’s fire.
“You are distracted,” Arvik snaps as we patrol one of the main streets.
“My apologies.”
His disdain for me has not cooled in the many days since I returned to duty as Bannik.
Only one or two Bohnari guards have treated me with any degree of civility.
Not that I expect them to. The only challenge that has come with it is that I haven’t been able to gather any information on Mohneek or Orvak.
No one will speak to me, and the moment I enter a room, most everyone leaves.
It doesn’t help that I’m still required to visibly check in with a senior officer every two clicks.
Horek hasn’t lifted that restriction, despite knowing my true identity.
Neither he nor Janik has discussed with me my next steps.
Which leaves me floating with no direction.
It’s an uncomfortable sensation and not one I’m used to.
While I rarely traded coded messages with Alik, I always had an assigned task that he trusted me to complete in any way I saw fit, in whatever amount of time it took.
It’s why I had been playing at rebel for two anums.
The hatred I hold for myself that I was involved for that long and still didn’t see what Mohneek and her consort had planned is deep.
How could I have missed the signs? How many Bohnari could I have saved if only I hadn’t been so blind?
I will forever be haunted by the knowledge that I’m partially to blame for their deaths. Lindsey is right not to trust me.
“For the gods’ sake, you are useless,” Arvik growls.
I bite back the retort and do my best to keep my temper on a tight leash.
“You should have stayed gone,” he says.
I continue ignoring him. For some reason, his comments are worse than normal. Usually, he glares at me, but today, his hatred has been far more vocal.
“Nothing to say, traitor?” Arvik shoves me hard, and I stumble forward, barely maintaining my balance so I don’t fall to the ground.
I whirl on him. “Don’t touch me again.”
He gets in my face. “Or what?”
“What is the problem here?” Horek strides toward us with a storm brewing in his gaze.
“No problem, Commander.” I don’t need him to rescue me or give Arvik any greater reason to hate me.
He glances between the senior officer and me. I hold his stare and communicate without words to let it go. Finally, he dips his head. “The prince would like a word with you, Bannik.”
“Yes, sir.” Not because he deserves my respect, but because he’s my direct commanding officer, I turn to Arvik. “If I could be excused…sir?”
His lip curls, but he dismisses me. “Go.”
I salute him and trail Horek, who has already taken off in the direction of the palace. With only a few hasty steps, I come alongside him. He doesn’t speak until we are far enough away from the senior officer. Then, he looks over.
“What was that about?”
“Nothing you need to be concerned about.”
“If there is an issue between you and Arvik, I need to know.”
“The only issue is that I’m a traitorous former rebel. Nothing more.” I wave off Horek’s concern. “I can take care of it myself.”
“Not if it interferes with your new assignment.”
New assignment? It would appear then that he and Janik have decided the next step. “Whatever it might be, I’m sure it won’t.”
“We will see.”
Neither of us speaks the rest of the way to the palace. At least, not until we are nearly to the throne room.
“Have you spoken with Lindsey?” he asks.
I cast him a swift glance. “I am certain I said my relationship with my heart’s fire is none of your business.”
“You did, but my heart’s fire is concerned for her. Especially since she saw you exit the females’ dormitory and wouldn’t let it go until I told her why you were there. Anything that causes Quinn to worry becomes my business.”
“If you knew I had been there, then why did you bother asking if I’d spoken to her?”
“Perhaps she shut the door in your face.” Horek raises his shoulders in a far too human gesture.
“She did not. You can tell your mate that she may speak with mine if she has any concerns. It is Lindsey’s choice on what she wishes to share.” I stop and stare at him until he meets my gaze. “However, she will not be pressured into sharing more than she is comfortable with. Is that clear?”
The commander stiffens, and his eyes flash with fire. “You think my heart’s fire is that kind of friend?”
“I know nothing about your mate, but I do know something about mine. I am merely telling you how it will be.”
After several ticks, Horek slowly relaxes. “It is good that Lindsey has you to look after her.”
He opens the door and steps into the throne room, leaving me in shock.