Chapter 20
Lindsey
I stretch and wince at how tender I am. Not that my lady parts hurt per se, but it’s been a long time since I last had sex, and Bannik is not small by any means.
I throw my arm over my eyes and can’t help the smile that spreads across my face despite the twinge—and residual stickiness between my thighs even after my mate cleaned up both of us.
One of the many times he had done that, but only after he’d pushed his come back inside me with his fingers.
A tremor of arousal rushes through me. Who’d have thought I’d find that sexy?
The scent of some kind of meat filters through the door of my bedroom. My stomach suddenly growls, reminding me I haven’t eaten since Bannik fed me sometime late afternoon—or maybe early evening—yesterday, and I probably burned a lot of calories during the sex marathon. I giggle at the visual.
After throwing back the blankets, I slip on my robe and walk out into the main living area.
Standing in front of the flat cooking surface I’ve used only a handful of times is my mate.
He’s wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung pants.
Even his feet are bare. The fact that it looks like he’s cooking makes him sexier.
I take a moment to study Bannik since he doesn’t appear to have noticed me yet.
To think all those muscles were hidden beneath this guard’s uniform.
Well, not hidden, but somewhat cloaked. Now, they’re on full display, and all I can think about is the way they felt beneath my fingertips.
The power he wielded while he brought me to multiple orgasms and yet the gentle way he held me through them.
Bannik’s hair is a wild tangle from my fingers running through it, and his shorn horns are just barely visible from the back. They’re longer than Horek’s and Alik’s but way shorter than Janik’s, whose are grown out completely and spiral.
He stiffens, and only when he glances over his shoulder and our eyes meet does he relax. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“Not at all.” I close the distance between us with a shake of my head and don’t stop until my arm brushes up against his. To my surprise, I’m not as self-conscious as I expected to be, considering Bannik was literally inside me only a few short hours ago.
To my delight, he leans down and kisses me sweetly. “I thought you might be hungry. There are fresh lulesh berries in the cooling unit, soft bread in the warming unit, and I am making a special tannek dish I hope you will enjoy.”
“You didn’t have to do that, but thank you. It smells delicious. Can I help with anything?”
“I requested a pitcher of plyka from the chef. It, too, is in the cooling unit if you would like to pour each of us a glass.”
“That, I can do.” From the cupboard, I get two ceramic cups and then grab the fruity alcoholic beverage. Once both cups are full, I put the pitcher back and pass Bannik his while he continues stirring the meat dish that appears to be almost done.
“I never had alcohol before coming to Bohna.” While I haven’t drunk a lot since arriving here, I’ve imbibed a few times with my friends.
He glances at me in surprise. “Really?”
“It’s not something we can afford in the bottom tier. Plus, the only alcohol available to us was the stuff that had been illegally brewed, and not many people wanted to get caught trying to procure it.”
“The more I hear of this bottom tier, the more I wish I could go to your Earth and destroy any of those people who hurt you.”
I rise up and kiss Bannik’s cheek. “While I appreciate the violent imagery, Earth is my past. Everything I have ever wanted is right here.”
He turns to me with a brow raise. “Everything?”
“Everything.” I kiss him again, but this time, it’s our lips that meet.
Unlike the ones from last night, this is sweet.
Soft. I lower myself but stay at his side, even as he returns to stirring the meat on the stove.
Before long, the food is ready and he’s plating it for us.
He carries them out to the living area, while I bring the drinks.
We eat together in a comfortable silence broken only by the sounds of our breathing and the occasional sips of plyka we drink.
Once we’re finished, Bannik takes our dirty dishes and places them in the auto washer before returning to the sofa and pulling me onto his lap.
I curl up against him, rest my cheek on his shoulder, and try not to purr as he strokes and pets my hair.
A sense of peace flows through me, like my mind has finally accepted this is where I belong and who I belong with, despite our somewhat rocky start.
“Will you tell me more of your life back on Earth?” Bannik asks quietly.
There’s an undercurrent to his words that I can’t quite work out.
“There isn’t really much more to tell that I haven’t already.
I’m from the bottom tier and worked in one of the sanitation facilities.
I mentioned already that my mom died when I was little and my dad remarried and had two sons.
That truly is all there was to my life.”
He squeezes me. “While I wish you’d had a better one, I am glad that by being a member of this bottom tier, it brought you to Bohna.”
“I’m really glad as well.”
We sit there a moment longer, until the quiet is interrupted by Bannik’s comm. He checks his wristband, and whatever it is he sees there causes him to stiffen and curse.
“I am sorry, but I need to go,” he says, already carefully extricating himself from beneath me.
I’m on my feet right after he is and follow him into my room where he snags his shirt up off the floor and yanks it over his head.
His boots are next, and then he’s rushing toward the front door.
Halfway across the living area, he stops, spins around, and returns to me.
Before I can blink, Bannik slams his mouth down on mine and kisses me like he’ll never get to kiss me again.
We’re breathless by the time we break apart, and in a flash, he’s out the door, leaving me standing there in stunned silence. What was that all about?
I’m just about to go take a shower when there’s a knock. Hope springs that Bannik’s back. I hurry forward and yank the door open. Instead of my mate, it’s Devon.
“Wow, don’t look so happy to see me.” She laughs and bypasses me inside. “Was that Bannik I saw hauling it out of here like his ass was on fire?”
I shut the door. “First, sorry. Of course I’m happy to see you, and yes, that was Bannik leaving.”
She swivels my direction. “I take it you two have worked out any differences you might have been having?”
Have we worked them out, or am I just ignoring they exist? “We’re…figuring things out.”
Devon cocks her head. “You don’t sound confident. Is everything okay?”
I cross the room and sink down on the sofa that’s still warm from Bannik’s heat. My friend does the same on the other end of it and pivots so she’s facing me.
“He—we—um…”
“Spent the night together?” Devon finishes for me, only it’s not really a question.
My cheeks heat, but I nod. “Yes.”
“It was good?”
I can’t help the sigh of pleasure. “It was the best thing that’s ever happened.”
“While I’m both incredibly happy for you and also the slightest bit envious that I’m the last one of us who’s still single, you also have this look. I just can’t figure out what it means since it sounds like there’s more going on.”
This is what I’ve been needing. A friend to talk to, and yet when the opportunity presents itself, I clam up.
But this is Devon, and I know she won’t judge me, so I start talking.
I tell her what Bannik said about secrets he can’t tell me yet.
How confused I am because I want to trust him, and every time I tell myself I do, a small voice makes me question that trust.
“I’m a mess.”
She lays her hand on my arm. “You are not a mess. There’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling.
It’s hard to trust people—including ourselves—when we’ve lived our entire lives the way we have.
Being a bottomer teaches us to always be on guard.
It’s a natural reaction. Maybe I’m wrong here, though, but it sounds like Bannik’s trying. ”
“He is. I mean, he didn’t even have to mention he had secrets he wasn’t able to share yet.”
“Exactly,” Devon agrees. “You wouldn’t have known the difference if he hadn’t said anything. I think he really is trying to be what you need him to be. Yes, it sucks that he hasn’t opened up fully, but he also has trust issues, with his brother and whatnot.”
His relationship with Carrik has been a sore topic from the beginning. My heart aches for my mate, at not only the fracture that has occurred between him and his brother, but the fact that Bannik is as alone as me.
“Do you think I’m wrong for blindly trusting him?”
“What does your gut tell you?” Devon counters.
“Is that really a reliable gauge to measure things?” I laugh.
She gapes. “Absolutely. It’s how I make all my hard decisions. Forget my brain. It’s a big fat liar. My gut—my instinct—never leads me wrong.”
Maybe I’m cynical, because that feels too easy. Out of everyone I’ve ever known, I trust Devon the most. “You better be right.”
She palms her chest and exaggerates a gasp. “Of course I am. When have you ever known me to be wrong?”
“I’m sure there’s at least one instance, even if I can’t think of it off the top of my head.”
“Ha!” She jabs a finger in my direction with a huge grin on her face. “That’s because there isn’t one.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Too late.”
“Fine. My gut tells me that no matter how many questions I might have, Bannik is worthy of my trust, even when I’m still uncertain about anything else.”
Devon nods. “There you go.”
I hope we’re both right.