Chapter 21
Carrik
I curse myself and my brother. Mostly, I curse my father and all those who came before me—including the kings we have served—for placing the weight of responsibility of this forced role onto my shoulders. I didn’t ask for this.
Until now, not once have I ever resented my position, despite the rift it created between Bannik and me.
Everything my father drilled into me led me to accept this as my fate.
Losing my relationship with my brother was a necessary consequence.
It couldn’t be helped, and it was for the benefit of everyone.
Except, it has done the complete opposite.
It caused me to imprison Bannik, further fracturing any chance he might one day forgive me.
It created a sense of distrust between me and my heart’s fire, despite Lindsey’s offering her tentative trust. The deception is becoming more than I can handle. Or perhaps, more than I desire.
Being the crown’s royal spy has given me a sense of purpose.
It has been a source of pride. Lately, however, it’s become a burden.
One I no longer wish to bear, especially given what’s occurred.
The time is nearly here when the choice is going to be ripped from me.
It’s not as terrifying as I expected it might be.
I step out of the hired shuttle and stride across the grounds of my estate.
Even from this distance, Ivik’s presence at the door is visible.
His shoulders are slumped in defeat. However, I don’t blame him.
The fault lies solely with me and the impulsive actions I took.
At times I’ve wondered if a part of me buried deep inside knew what the end results would bring and secretly wished for the wealth of secrets I held to be unearthed.
“Carrik,” Ivik says my name, and it’s filled with apology.
“It was bound to happen. Perhaps it’s for the best.” It’s the only reassurance I can offer. “You did, after all, tell me to think about unburdening this secret.”
My handler—my friend—nods warily. “Yes, but I never wanted the decision to be taken from you without your consent.”
“It’s done. Or nearly so. That all depends on what Bannik does next.
I should have stayed in Preska, but I needed to make sure you were well.
” At least Horek and Janik have been given advance notice that my brother will most likely be requesting an audience in order to demand I’m thrown in the pit for my actions.
Ivik’s skin is a paler hue than usual, but he appears otherwise unharmed.
“I will live,” he says. “Although the embarrassment will linger far longer, knowing your brother got the upper hand on me. It would seem I had become far too complacent in my old age and let my guard down long enough for Bannik to use that to his advantage.”
“We both know my brother is smarter than he is given credit for. I’m only surprised it took him this long to figure out a way to escape.”
“Yes, but I still should have taken more precautions and not allowed him to catch me so unawares.”
I lightly clap his shoulder. “Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
Ivik nods, but considering I’ve known him my entire life, I know that is too much to ask at the moment. It’s going to take time for him to forgive himself for Bannik escaping and bringing hundreds of anums of secrecy out in the open.
“So long as you are well, it would be best for me to return to Preska and deal with my brother and the fallout.”
“Go,” Ivik assures me. “I am well, and the staff have been taking excellent care of me since I was found.”
Trusting him at his word, I make my way back to the waiting shuttle and return to the capital, the palace, and a reckoning.
The palace is quiet—nearly as silent as immediately after the rebel attack before chaos ensued—as I make my way toward the throne room. Even the guard who accompanies me is silent.
On the return flight from my estate, I sent a comm to Horek informing him of my impending arrival.
He directed me to come straightaway as there was much to discuss.
I pause for only a brief moment before I take a deep breath, straighten my shoulders, and knock at the throne room.
A muffled voice calls out for me to enter.
I do so—closing the door firmly behind me—and my gaze immediately finds the male whose face stares back at me every time I look into a reflective surface.
Bannik still wears his same guard’s uniform, although it has clearly been laundered and attempted to be repaired.
He too appears clean and well-fed. Not that I expect anything less.
Ivik made sure he was taken care of during his time in the containment cube.
My brother’s glare is, unsurprisingly, hate-filled.
His mouth opens to spew vitriol, I am certain, but I interrupt before he can.
“Ivik has recovered from the blow to his head. In case you were worried.”
Bannik sneers. “I wasn’t.”
Of course not.
“Before either of you says something neither can take back.” Janik speaks loudly and glares, his gaze bouncing between us. “I’ll be doing all the talking for the moment.”
My brother’s jaw clenches, but while he remains silent, his eyes say everything his mouth cannot.
As always, I mourn the loss of the friendship we had when we were kits.
Before everything. I shift my gaze to the prince.
Horek and Mak are present as well, as though both will be needed to keep Bannik and me from doing harm to each other.
“Now then,” Janik begins. “The time has clearly come for truths to be revealed. We have much bigger problems to deal with than this bitterness between you.”
I laugh out loud that he thinks a few words from him will erase anums of deceit and animosity. During my time in the rebel camp, I never took him for being a male without intelligence, but in this, he is undoubtedly one.
“Carrik.”
“Your Highness.”
Janik narrows his gaze as though he knows what I’m doing. “We don’t have time for games.”
“I am merely waiting for you to do all the talking.”
Horek’s lips actually twitch before he clears his throat and his mouth returns to its usual severe appearance. The prince sighs. I nearly feel sorry for him since I understand the pressure he’s under.
“Bannik.” Janik turns to face my brother.
“Carrik is a spy for the crown. As was your father—and your father’s father and every single father in the entire Deqan line—before him.
The greedy, money-hungry male you think you know is his cover.
His avarice, wealth, and rolling in excess are a false front.
He was sworn to secrecy by penalty of death, which is why he never told you. ”
“There was no penalty of death involved.” I shake my head.
Janik sighs far too dramatically and turns to me.
“I am trying to help you earn Bannik’s forgiveness so the two of you can make up and we can move on to what is, by far, more dire than a feud between brothers.
Mohneek and Orvak need to be found, Alik needs to snap out of the mating fever holding him hostage, and I need to spend more time in bed with my heart’s fire and less time making decisions for thousands of people. ”
The prince must truly be delusional if he thinks he can force my brother to forgive me. That is why I’m not surprised when Bannik laughs as I had. Only, it’s not a sound filled with humor but, rather, disbelief, hatred, and perhaps a touch of mania.
“Carrik? A spy? Our father as well?” My brother continues laughing, which contains more bite than before. “Is that what he told you? And you believed him?”
“It’s the truth.” To yet one more person, I explain our line’s history.
“Every eldest son has been sworn to secrecy in order to protect our family. The intelligence I’ve gathered from a vast number of planets throughout the galaxy over the last ten anums is more than enough to get myself—and anyone I care about—killed if I were ever found out. ”
Bannik scoffs. “You think your continued lies will protect you? Do you truly expect me to believe anything that comes out of your mouth? I have seen how you live. The excess which you flaunt in front of everyone. The way you have looked down upon me for anums. I heard the conversations you had with our father about how pathetic I am for even thinking I am—or could be—just as good as you are.”
I wince at the accusations, because while I did not mean the words, I did speak them. Only because I knew my brother had been listening and they were said to further the divide between us. Per our father’s orders.
“Enough!” Horek roars, causing Bannik to jerk to attention.
“Mohneek and Orvak are still out there somewhere—hiding and, no doubt, scheming—and we are no closer to finding them today than we were on the day of the attack on Preska. There is also Ryvik to consider. Especially given the fact that he has shared that he knows of Carrik’s and your father’s roles as a spy. ”
This announcement causes my brother to blink with confusion. “What do you mean, Ryvik shared his knowledge? And who is Ryvik?”
“He is a former rebel strategist,” Janik answers.
“Apparently his father—an unidentified male—has known for anums that your father and Carrik work for the crown and in what capacity. Our guess is he is either trying to use you or Carrik to further whatever plans he has or threaten your brother in some way by exposing his secret.”
Bannik’s gaze doesn’t soften as he watches me.
“I’m still not convinced you speak the truth, but let us say you are.
None of that makes up for our past or the grievances I rightly hold against you or our father.
We were closer than most brothers. We shared a womb.
Yet, you still betrayed me by not trusting me with the truth.
I would have never shared what you did with anyone.
Not even upon the threat of death. You sowed the dissent between us without hesitation for the past twenty anums, and I will never forgive you for that. ”