Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
MILES
Do you want to stay in Lovers?
Can you stay in Lovers?
What do you think about staying in Lovers?
Stay with me, please.
Don’t leave me.
I groan, stepping back from my current project.
I grab my towel and wipe my hands down, even though they aren’t that dirty.
I want to ask Quinn to stay, but I don’t know how to do it.
It’s the only thing that makes sense to me now, but she hasn’t exactly hinted that’s what she wants.
In fact, ever since girls’ night a few nights ago, she’s been … different. Almost as if she’s pulling back.
I know her time here is almost up. The day she leaves is like a ticking bomb, reminding us that this thing we have isn’t going to last forever.
I hate it.
I hate every moment of it.
A wrench drops behind me, startling me .
Henry picks it up and smiles at me before getting back to work.
Henry is working out great. He’s a quick learner and hangs on every word I say. I find this a plus. Ruby was a school nurse before she came back to Lovers, and she said it’s so hard to get kids to focus these days.
Knowing this one wants to be here helps. I won’t lie. I was a little worried when Quinn told me his age, but then she pointed out that he’d only be here on afternoons and weekends. She knew I didn’t want someone in my face at all times, so this kid is perfect.
What am I going to do when she’s gone?
Yes, I can do the business side of things fine. Quinn basically made the office work dummy proof, but walking in there to not find her will ruin my day every single time.
Henry will probably quit because I’m a grumpy asshole, then I’ll bury myself back into work and put myself right back where I was before Quinn walked into my shop this summer to change my entire world.
Fucking great.
That’s what I have to look forward to.
I glance at my watch. It’s almost lunch.
I need to talk to someone, and Hudson will be my best bet right now. Luca’s been MIA the last couple of weeks. I’m not kidding when I say the two of us pulled a switcheroo.
Guess who’s buried themselves into their job now? Luca.
“Henry,” I call out. “Want a burger from Hudson’s?”
“Ugh. Sure. I don’t have cash. Can you just take it from my next check?”
I shake my head. “This one’s on me.”
He smiles wide. “Thanks, Miles.”
“Be right back,” I say, even though I’m not sure how quick I’ll be. Quinn went with the girls to Wind Valley to look at wedding dresses for Sadie. I want to get my thoughts out before she gets back so that tonight can be nothing but us making a plan.
I can’t be alone in thinking that we have to give this a go, right?
It can’t just end once the summer is over.
It can’t.
Hudson’s bar is packed by the time I get there for lunch.
It’s been a couple of months since I’ve walked in here to eat lunch alone. Just another reminder that this is what my life will return to once Quinn leaves.
Unless I ask her to stay.
I’ve had plenty of opportunities to do so. Every moment with her is a chance to ask, but I want the moment to be perfect. I want to be the kind of man she’ll say yes to.
Yet if she were to ask me to give up the shop and my dream so that I could travel with her, I’d say no.
It doesn’t seem fair to ask her to do something I wouldn’t do myself.
I hate that I’d say no, but my life is here. Everything about me is here.
And her life is travel.
We knew this when we started fooling around, but it doesn’t make it suck any less now that the end is nearing.
The truth still remains that I won’t know until I ask her, and I need to do it sooner rather than later.
“Miles, hey,” a man next to me greets me.
It’s Danny.
I quickly glance to his other side for Cherry, but the spot is empty.
“Hey!” I offer my hand. “How are you?”
“Good,” he answers on the shake. “Just enjoying the last week here. The summer went fast. ”
“It always does.”
“Especially when you’re having fun,” he adds. “Which, I wanted to thank you for introducing me to Cherry. I know you two have a past, so I hope this isn’t weird.”
I smile but hold back my laugh. “Not at all.”
“Good, because she’s amazing, and I had no idea I’d start this summer as some lovesick puppy over a woman who didn’t want me only to end it with a woman I’ve fallen so head over heels in love with. It was unexpected, but we’re headed to Paris next Friday, and I can’t wait to make memories with her there. Hell, I think I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
“Seriously?” There is no hiding the shock in my voice.
He nods. “Yeah. Crazy, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but good for you,” I say and slap a hand on his shoulder. “I’m happy for you both.”
“Thanks, and I’m happy for you and Quinn, too,” he says quickly. “It broke my heart when she ended things. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being alone, but she was very convincing that was what she wanted in life. But now she’s found you, and her views on life have clearly changed so I’m happy for her.”
“Yeah, me too.”
His words hit me right where it counts. It’s like I was meant to come here for a warning of what will happen if I ask Quinn to stay.
Silence settles between us long enough for me to order food and a soda for me and Henry. What’s the point in asking Hudson for advice now? Danny told me what I already knew.
Danny clears his throat, and just when I think he’s going to say goodbye, he surprises me.
“I swear I’m over it, but tell me how you did it.”
“Did what?”
“Convinced her to stay. To change her life and pick you. Traveling has been the love of her life for so long that I truly did believe she wouldn’t let someone else in. But she did with you, and I just want to know how.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and stare at my drink.
I didn’t do any of those things, and he’s absolutely right. Traveling is the love of her life, because if she felt even an ounce of what I feel for her, she wouldn’t want to leave.
I can feel his eyes on me, so I turn and give my best fake smile.
“It’s sort of like you said, this summer didn’t go the way I expected. It went better. When you know, you know, right?”
“I guess we both just needed to find the right one.”
“Yep.”
“Well, see you around Miles. I have a hunch Cherry and I will be back next summer.”
“See you around, Danny,” I say and wave as he leaves.
Hudson comes up at that exact moment, that same wrinkle between his eyes that he had weeks ago in my garage.
“You were listening, weren’t you?”
“Yeah. What are you going to do?”
I sigh and scrub a hand over my face. “I don’t know.”
And that’s the truth. I know what I want to do, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do or what Quinn would want to do, too.
I’m on the living room couch when Quinn gets home later that night. Her smile at the sight of me makes my head race and my blood turn hot.
It’s like my body has this radar when she’s near and it comes to life the moment I see her.
“Hi,” she says and then stalks toward me .
She leans down to kiss me, and lets her lips linger long enough to climb into my lap, one leg on each side of mine as she deepens the kiss.
Fuck. My body is so responsive to her.
It always is.
Will I ever find this again?
Hell, I don’t want to.
I want it with her.
I lean back to break the kiss.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Okay.” She smiles hesitantly. “What about?”
“About us.”
She climbs off me.
“All right.”
“I don’t really know how to say this, and I’ve thought about it all day. I don’t think there is a right way to say it, and every version was shot right out the door after I talked to Danny about it.”
“You talked to Danny about what?” I can hear the defensiveness in her voice.
“You, but it’s not?—”
“You talked to Danny about me?”
“Yes, but it’s not like I sought him out, Quinn. He was eating lunch, and so was I.”
“All right. What did you talk about?”
“He asked me how I was able to convince you to stay.”
She leans back. “And what did you say?”
“Nothing, because I haven’t.”
Her expression remains calm.
“Okay.”
Okay? That’s it. That’s all she has to say about that?
“He mentioned how much you love traveling and how he thought you’d never find something or someone you'd feel as passionate about.”
She’s chewing on her bottom lip now, but she isn’t responding. Her lack of participation in this conversation gets to me more than it should.
“Was he right?” I ask, my tone much sharper than before.
“About traveling?”
“That you’ll never find something you love just as much.”
There’s a spark in her eyes as she opens her mouth. Here it comes—she’s about to give me the same line she gave him, then she’s going to leave.
“It’s complicated,” she says instead. “It’s exactly what we didn’t want when we started this.”
“So un-complicate it.”
“How? It’s my job, and I have contracts to?—”
“To fucking hell with the contracts, Quinn. Tell them you want to cancel them.”
“This is my job, Miles.”
“Find a new one. One with less travel and one that lets you be here.”
It doesn’t take her any time to snap back, “Close the shop every two weeks and come with me.”
“You know I can’t do that. People have planned their schedules around me when I gave them my word on their cars.”
“And I signed contracts that mean the exact same thing.”
I’ve only ever cried twice in my life. Once when I broke my leg in seventh grade and again when my mom died.
The longer I sit here with Quinn, the chances of a third time increase.
“There’s nothing I can do to keep you here, is there?” It’s clear neither of us is going to make a sacrifice for the other.
She reaches for my hands and laces our fingers. I pull her until she stands flush against me .
She slowly shakes her head. “I can’t just give up everything I’ve worked for, and neither can you.”
“So that’s it, huh?” My voice is laced with defeat. “One summer—hell, half a summer—with you, and this thing with us is over?”
Quinn doesn’t answer me, but she doesn’t need to. It’s a rhetorical question.
She leans into me, and I hold her tight.
“Knowing how this was going to end was supposed to be the easy part,” she whispers.
I nod and kiss her forehead, keeping my next thought to myself.
No, Quinn, the easy part was loving you.