One
I rubbed my hand across the emptiness. It didn’t matter how many times it happened; the hollowing of my chest never got old. Neither did the immediate, uncontrollable yearning that followed. My husband wasn’t in bed.
His head was heavy.
His heart was heavier.
I’d felt the pulling and tugging of his emotions all week long. Addressing them was something I preferred allowing him to ease into. But, with his absence weighing on my chest like a pile of bricks, remaining silent wasn’t an option any longer.
I dragged my limbs across the bed. The silky smooth sheets promised a cool invitation back to bed upon my return. Luca’s sheets , no matter how long we were together, would always be the source of my security. I just needed him underneath them with me.
It was the only way I could sleep.
The only way I could think.
The only way I could rest.
The only way I could reset .
I planted my feet on the floor and started for the bedroom door. My feet slipped into the cream slippers near the threshold. In the silk gown, I glided across the floor, my heart leading me to my love.
Low, warm lights guided my path, keeping me from stubbing a toe or running into the ends of tables along the way. The sound of my shoes colliding with the floor slowed to a creep as I rounded the corner of our living room.
There .
My heart ached and rejoiced simultaneously. Involuntarily, my head tilted, savoring the sight of him. He was the softest place for me to land. And, on nights like this, I prayed I was the same for him.
His troubles rolled his shoulders forward and down. They hung over the balcony along with his hands. He was restless, yet still. Unmoving. His thoughts were working. His body was stationary.
Inhale.
As the thought left me, his shoulders rose.
Exhale.
They slackened again.
Whatever it is, my love, it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Nothing ever mattered. Everything heals with time. Everything .
As the words crossed my mind, I crossed the threshold that led to the balcony where my husband was drowning in his worries. Having a lover who was everything to everyone, including the family you’d created together, was such a blessing, but sometimes it was as concerning.
Though everyone was capable, Luca chose to bear the weight of his family on his back. Gracefully, he did so. Without question, he did so. Without hesitation, he did so. Carefully, he did so. Because he loved them always, in all ways, too much, too deeply, forever, and ever.
“Luca–” I whispered as my fingers crept up his shirt.
Fabric wasn’t of my interest. I needed to feel him. His skin.
I rested my cheek against his back.
Exhale .
He released a long, heavy sigh.
“Ever,” he breathed out.
“Your worries awakened me. Your heaviness is so loud. Your absence was so alarming.”
Luca’s silence was followed by his fingers wrapping around my arm. He pulled me around his frame. In front of him, my elbows landed on the balcony.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
He chucked his chin between my shoulder and neck.
“I don’t feel good, baby,” he confessed.
“Tell me how I can help,” I pushed out, desperation in my tone.
With ease, my slip lifted underneath Luca’s influence. He pressed into the center of my back, arching my spine. His intention was clear. My center was throbbing.
“Make me feel better,” he pleaded, pressing his dick against my beating vulva.
On the tips of my toes, I reached behind me. It wasn’t long before I was holding his thickness in my hand. Fine bumps crossed every inch of my skin. Their presence presented a pleasurable pain that reminded me of the goodness that was to come.
I guided Luca inside of me, bringing him home.
Where he could rest.
Where he could heal.
Where he could reset.
Where he could unravel.
Where he could reconnect .
His entry was magical, lifting me from my feet for a brief second. I landed softly, pushing back into him. His right hand wrapped around my neck. The left hand gripped my waist.
“Urgh.” A low grunt fell from his lips, soaking mine as the rumbling of his baritone shook my skin.
The vibration sent a chill through my veins.
“Lucccccaaaaaa—”
My bottom lip tucked between my teeth. I tried suppressing my urgency to release. Involuntarily, my walls clamped around him.
“Don’t do that,” my husband warned, “Don’t do that, Ever.”
His fingertips pressed into my skin as I retracted before driving my center toward his abdomen again.
WHAP.
WHAP.
WHAP.
Each time we collided, our love sounded in the silence of the night.
“Baby,” I called out, “Bab– Luccccaaaa.”
He fisted my hair, bringing his lips to my ear.
“I love you so fucking much,” he confessed, grinding his teeth against each other.
His time was near. My time had come.
“Forever,” he added.
I nodded, understanding just how deep that love ran. It was limitless. It flowed like the juices from my center. Just like my love for him.
“Uhhhhhhhh– I’m cu– baby–”
I applauded his gentleness with thrusts into him. Our skin clapped, displaying the gratitude and gratification I was experiencing at once. My eyelids clamped together and squeezed to the point of pain.
“Luca...”
His strokes intensified. His grip on my body parts tightened.
My body glided up and down his pole without resistance.
Friction didn’t exist. My love coated him graciously, lubricating his insistence on splitting me in half to retrieve his climax.
I widened my legs, giving him permission to plummet with each stroke.
He fell into my center like the sinking hole it was. Happily, he hid within my folds. Over and over, he pushed into me.
“Fuck– this motherfucker ‘bout to cum,” he grunted, “Shit.”
My vaginal contractions were pulling him deeper, aiming to extract the semen straight from his sack. We were on the brink of success. I could feel the bulge as it traveled up his shaft.
“Ever– baby,” he breathed as his body stiffened. “Fuck!”
He emptied his seeds into me, filling me to the brim. Luca’s head lowered onto my back. I released a weighted sigh as mine hung over the balcony. The realization that his troubles hadn’t ended and would resume after he finished floating forced my eyes shut.
“Thank you.”
His whispers clutched my heart. The restraint was accompanied by discomfort.
“Tell me, baby, what’s the matter?”
Sighing, Luca released me. His shaft had softened slightly.
It slid out of its cave reluctantly. I turned to find my husband adjusting the pajama pants he wore around our home to keep his bat in its cage.
We had children of all ages running around, and remaining respectful was our top priority for them all.
“Not now, baby.” He shook his head.
“Then, when, love?”
His eyes avoided mine. I grabbed hold of his chin and brought his face toward mine.
“Then, when? I’ve suffered from your silence for an entire week. I’m drowning, Luca. Save me.”
Sighing, he kissed the skin of his teeth. A sly smile tugged at his lips. He was so precious. Though big and muscular, he was fragile like glass. My glass. And, I had handled him with care since the day we met.
“How do you do that?”
“Do what?” I asked, searching his eyes for evidence that would lead to me discovering whatever he was keeping from me.
There was something I hadn’t seen in a long time. Something I despised. Something I wasn’t at all fond of.
Fear .
He’s afraid .
My eyebrows wrinkled at the revelation.
“Make me want to cut my chest open and rip my heart out to hand it to you.”
I shook my head.
“Don’t do that to me, because what would I do without you?”
Luca’s glistening eyes produced moisture. Before the tears fell, he was out of my reach. I watched from behind as he swiped them from his eyes and disappeared into the house.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
I counted down in my head, hoping to contain the emotions swelling my chest. Labored breathing proved it would be rather difficult. I pushed off the balcony and headed inside behind Luca. With a push of a button, I closed the balcony doors and the curtains.
Slowly, I trekked through what felt like grassy terrain.
However, it was our freshly polished floors without a trace of disorder in sight.
Our housekeeper visited us nightly for two full hours to tidy the house before wishing us goodbyes.
Her work ethic was apparent in our spotless furnishings and counters. There wasn’t a piece out of place.
I rounded the corners until I reached our bedroom. The sound of the shower and the gap between the frame and the bathroom door were Luca’s way of inviting me into his world. Into his head. I accepted, entering the bathroom where he was undressing. Quietly, he stepped into the shower.
Mine wasn’t running. He had made it clear that he wanted me in his space.
His comfort was my peace, so wherever he wanted me, I would be.
I peeled the straps from my shoulders and allowed the slip to fall.
I left it on the floor, promising to put it away with Luca’s things.
For now, my priority was the man underneath the showerhead with his back toward me and his head low.
My body leaned against his. I wrapped him in my arms, staying behind him where I was sure I’d get the most results. When he was ready, he’d start talking. And, when he wanted to set eyes on me, he would. For now, my presence was enough.
The water kneaded away at our skin. No one moved. No one made a sound. There was a plethora of emotions, steaming the shower. Just when I thought I’d collapse from anticipation and anxiousness, Luca sighed.
“I haven’t been feeling well, Ever.”
My heart dropped from my chest. Slid down his back. And, hit the shower floor.
“In fact, I’ve been feeling like shit.”
Tears clouded my vision. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t think. I could only hear. I could only feel. And, I didn’t like anything I was feeling at the moment.
Fear .
It crippled me.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, and to be honest, I have been terrified to find out.”