Two
That one right there.
It was that look in Ever’s eyes that I’d been avoiding since the first sharp pain ripped through my chest.
So beautiful.
So fearful.
So fragile.
Her words stuck with me. It didn’t sit well with me that I was pulling Ever from her element and placing her in foreign territory.
The gnawing on her bottom lip was evidence that her nerves were on edge.
Confusion plagued her. Contentment wasn’t her closest ally at the moment.
Uncertainty, our enemy, sat on the other side of her, next to us both.
Her quivering fingers destroyed her beautiful handwriting. Squiggly lines replaced the smooth, flawless markings of her penmanship. I placed my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.
“What is it? Does it hurt?”
Yes. Like hell, baby. Seeing you worried. Seeing you unravel. It hurts like a motherfucker. Worst pain I’ve ever experienced .
“My heart isn’t hurting me right now, Ever. You are,” I admitted.
“I’ll be fine. As soon as you are.”
“I know,” I sighed, ironing out the invisible wrinkles in my pants as I sat back in the chair.
She bolted from her seat, heading back to the desk. Briskly, her legs moved. I couldn’t remember, but a time or two I’d seen her walk with urgency in her stride. She practices slowness as if it were her religion and was never in a rush for anything or anyone. Not even our children.
“Einsenberg!”
The door opened as the nurse yelled out our last name. Ever extended her hand. Mine swallowed hers whole. They disappeared as we followed the nurse toward the room designated for me.
“If you’d have a seat on the bed for me, I’m going to grab a robe.
I want you to undress from your neck down.
You can leave on your socks, but we suggest getting you into ours.
They have the fun maze at the bottom to keep you from falling.
That’ll make my job much easier here,” the older woman chuckled.
Neither Ever nor I laughed. Humor wasn’t a pleasure of ours at the moment. Discovering our lack of enthusiasm, she handed over the necessities and began backing out of the door.
“I’ll be back in a second to get those vitals and see what’s going on with you so we can get you home.”
“Thank you,” Ever responded.
Before I could tear into the socks or begin removing my clothes, my wife’s hands were tugging upward on the end of my hoodie. She removed it first and then followed up with the shirt. Once I was free from the waist up, I pulled her between my legs.
Sad eyes stared down at me. I imagined I looked pathetic because my baby could hardly keep her eyes on me. Tears make them sparkle.
“Hey. Hey. Stop that.”
She shook her head, wiping her tears. “Sorry. I jus– I just hate that anything is even wrong with you. You’re my big bear. You’re not supposed to get sick. Never.”
“I know, baby, and I feel like shit for feeling like shit.”
“Don’t. I’m here. Just let me be.”
I chuckled, “I don’t think I have another choice.”
“You don’t,” she stated as a matter of fact. “I’m happy you’ve gotten the point.”
Shaking my head, I asked, “You gonna let me take off my own pants or you want to do that too?”
“I will, and I’ll put on your robe.”
“Hold my dick when I pee, too?”
“I’ve been dying to do that for I don’t know how long. Now is my chance, huh?”
“All you ever had to do was grab that motherfucker. Don’t deprive yourself when you don’t have to, baby.”
“Noted.”
There it goes.
That smile moved a hundred mountains.
I undressed under my wife’s supervision. She wouldn’t allow me to move too much, too often, or strain to do anything. We managed to get the gown on just as the nurse returned.
“All dressed?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Let me get the vitals going and start your blood work. The doctor will be in to see what’s going on and order tests if needed.”
Ever made her way toward the top of the bed. Her palm pressed against mine as she observed every movement the nurse made. She’d suddenly become a helicopter wife, and I couldn’t say I didn’t feel good about the shit or I’d be lying.
The probing and poking began. But with my eyes trained on Ever, I felt nothing. I saw nothing. I heard nothing. Nothing but her and the unwavering, unconditional love she carried for me.
“Leu comes strolling in as if he owns the place,” Ever chuckled, eyes wrinkling in the corners, “As if he knows he actually owns the place, and stares at Emilia. She looks at him, props her hand on her imagination, and tilts her head.”
Shaking my head, I waited for Ever to tell me exactly what Emilia had released from that mouth of hers. I thought Emorey was the handful, but she was giving everyone in the house a run for their money. Both of the younger ones were.
“ What do you want, fat head? ”
“That’s what she asked him.”
“Yes.”
“The hell did she get that from?”
“I have no idea. My mouth was on the floor, and my eyes were on Leu, waiting to see what he had to say next.”
“And what did he say?”
“ I’m trying to see now, big back .”
“Fuc,k they getting this shit from,” I asked, laughing til the point of pain.
The sharpness reappeared in my chest. Unknowingly, I pushed my fingers against my skin, hoping to soothe the pain.
Ever was up on her feet in a flash. She leaned down onto the bed, waiting for the pain to subside. When the muscles of my face relaxed, so did she.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
The heart monitor slowed. The sound was agonizing. Concern etched its evidence across my wife’s forehead.
“I’m going to get the doc–”
“Knock, knock!”
In walked a young woman resembling my brother’s wife. Her skin was dark, beautiful, and heavily moisturized. She pushed the sanitizer dispenser. Once she had a heap in her palm, she rubbed her hands together.
“Mr. Einsenberg.”
“Luca,” I corrected. “Call me Luca.”
“Well, Luca, it’s nice to meet you. I hear you met Dr. Hinge about an hour ago.”
“I did.”
“His shift has ended, and I’m going to be taking things from here. I’m Dr. Millar.”
The nurse re-entered the room, heading straight for the sanitizer.
“And, you must be the lucky woman who put this ring on his finger?” She turned, addressing Ever.
“I am,” she replied with a nod. “What can you tell us about the pain he’s experiencing?”
She inhaled deeply, reaching the end of my bed. Upon exhaling, she began to explain.
“It looks to me as if you’re an incredibly healthy man who isn’t a stranger to the gym or exercise of some kind. On paper, you’re as healthy as they get at your age. However, your blood work and tests tell me otherwise. The pain you’re experiencing in your chest is directly related to your heart.”
Ever released a shaky breath as the doctor continued.
“Your blood is clotting, which is normal. It’s the blood’s job to clot in the event of an injury or something of the sort.
However, your clots seem to be forming in your coronary artery.
We can’t have that, because the blockage causes a heart attack.
Your clots seem to have been working themselves out just before you suffer an attack.
That might not always be the case, Luca.
So, we have to get those clots moving or resolved altogether. ”
“How?” Ever questioned.
“Blood thinners.”
“For how long?”
“To be safe, I’d like to start you with thinners for a six-month period. Should the clots resolve, then your primary care physician can remove the medication from your daily routine. Otherwise, you remain on them. I will let your doctor decide. For now, I would like to be safer than sorry.”
“Thank you, Doc.”
“So much. Is there anything else we should be worried about?”
“Stress. His levels are elevated, raising Luca’s blood pressure.
Now, I hate to tell you this, but high blood pressure is a silent killer amongst so many of us.
It, too, can lead to a heart attack. A stroke.
And so many other issues. I will be prescribing additional medication to keep your blood pressure more stable.
“In the meantime, I want you to rest more and add a few more minutes to your workout routine if there is one in place. I would also like for you to try to take at least twenty minutes to quiet your thoughts before bed and first thing in the morning.
“Whether that’s in the shower, in bed, on the porch, the gym, the basement… it doesn’t matter. Our heads can be our greatest asset and assassin simultaneously. Let’s make sure it’s the life of you, Luca, and not the death of you.”
Nodding, I agreed.
“Anything else?”
She shook her head, looking over at Ever.
“Nothing more that concerns me. Make sure this man gets some rest, and he will be fine. Should there be any more pain, come see us right away. Do not wait.”
“Understood, Doc.”
“You two have any questions?”
“Will we get the thinners from here or?” Ever questioned.
“You’ll get one before you leave out of the door. That and another pill. We’ll let you leave once we see that heart rate improve,” Doc explained, tipping her head toward the machines, “Until then, you can both rest. Should you need anything, we’ll bring it to you.”
“Thanks.”
“My pleasure. I’ll see you before you head out.”
As she exited, the nurse stepped forward with a cup of water and a small paper container with two pills swirling around.
“For thinning and blood pressure,” she clarified. “Take them both.”
I obliged, swallowing the pills before grabbing the cup and washing them down.
“Appreciate it.”
“Just doing my job. Lights out?” She asked, headed for the door.
“Yes, please,” Ever belted.
The room grew darker as her legs rested against mine. Slowly, she climbed up, snuggling into me. I brought her forehead to my lips.
Muah.
“Don’t worry your pretty head, love.”
“My heart leaves me no choice.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I know,” she sighed, “Because I’m going to make sure, even if it’s the last thing you allow me to do for you.”
“It won’t be.”
“Good.”
“Draining my balls will be.”
Chuckling, she slapped my thigh.
“That’s why we have an army now.”
“And as soon as I get the green light, I’m adding to it.”
“It’s yellow, baby. It’ll be green really soon. Everybody is growing so fast. I want them all to slow down.”
“They won’t. It’s life, baby.”
“Yeah,” she yawned. “It just sucks sometimes.”
“As long as I’m doing it with you, it can’t suck too long,” I expressed, yawning shortly after.
Ever was the first to close her eyes. Her silence led to light, barely audible snores. I was right behind her, allowing the quietness of the room and the lone heart monitor to lure us to sleep.