Chapter 79
CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE
Holli and Wyatt have been alone together for twenty-nine minutes.
I try not to notice. I really do, but I think I always will.
At least I haven’t written about it. In all honesty, I don’t want them to find the note.
Because I’m not jealous. Not like I used to get with Poppy.
I didn’t think Poppy cared about me, and I know Holli does.
And I want her and Wyatt to have good things. I just want to be there with them.
Restless energy buzzes through my veins, but I force myself to take a breath. My shoulder twitches, but I grab it, the pressure of my grip grounding me.
Holli has been distant. And that’s fair. If she never wants to speak to me again, I understand. Doesn’t mean I don’t want her to.
I’m giving myself a pep talk when banging and knocking start from the bedroom. I pause. The knocking continues, and there’s muffled yelling.
I dart into the room, and they aren’t in there, but I see them outside on the porch. Moving over, I try to open the door, but it’s locked.
Ah, they locked themselves out. Unlocking it, I step back.
Holli comes inside in just a shirt, holding up her finger. “I don’t want to hear it. The door locks on its own.”
I scan Wyatt’s eyes, hoping they have that wild edge of Ky in there. But instead, his expression is hard and serious. Wyatt follows behind her, big and imposing, sans shirt. I try not to notice the fact that his pants are unbuttoned, and his crotch is wet.
Oh my god. Did she squirt on him? My cheeks get warm.
Suddenly, Holli is there, her small hand around my throat, and I look up at her, startled. Her gaze is searching, and I can’t help but imagine what she’d look like riding me while she gave me those eyes.
I stiffen in my pants because I am, in fact, a glutton for punishment.
Holli smirks. Wyatt is behind me, his huge frame pressing into my back.
My heart is racing. What’s happening? Holli passes Wyatt some sort of look that he returns.
His gaze snaps to mine, arresting me in its intensity.
His eyebrow raises, and he moves. His arms wrap around mine, and he pins them behind my back.
“What…”
“Do you want to prove how sorry you are?”
“Yes.” My answer is immediate. No hesitation. I’ll prove how sorry I am for the rest of my days if she lets me.
“Sit.”
Holli gives the command, and Wyatt drops to the floor, sitting me on his lap, still pinning my arms. Then Holli is there, working my pants down. My heart races with the thrill of it, my dick hard since she looked at me.
Holli drops over me, warm legs wrapping me up. She grinds against my dick, and she’s wet. Immediately, I groan.
“I need you to hold on until I come. Got it?” Holli reaches down, grabbing my dick, and tracing the tip along her center.
I tremble and nod.
“Good boy.” She sinks down on top of me, and I’m wrapped in her soft, wet heat. She starts bouncing, and ecstasy twists up my spine. Oh fuck, I have to hold on. Frantically, I think about anything else. About the way they didn’t shut the balcony door fully. About the trees outside and the—
Fuck, Holli is so wet already, and she lets out a throaty groan as she grinds against me, pelvis pressing against my torso. I feel her clench around me, and for a second, I think my vision goes white.
“Fuck,” Holli cusses, grinding harder, and she clenches again and again, and I sputter. I think she’s trying to kill me.
“Christ,” I hear from behind me. “Mousey, this is hot.”
I drop my head back against his, barely able to hold back the pleasure.
“You’re rubbing against my dick so good. Keep riding him like that, Holli.”
She does, and I can barely stand it, feeling Kyan’s hard dick against my ass.
“Eyes,” Holli demands. Then she comes, facing me and looking into my eyes. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. I come too, unable to hold back the waves of pleasure, shooting up into her. We stay locked together here in this moment, all of us, panting and sated.
Everything feels complete, except for this nagging feeling that I have to be better for Holli. That I have to make up for what I did for the rest of my life. And I will, happily.
Kyan groans. “Goddamn, I need a shower.”
Holli gives a little laugh and gets off me. Immediately, I feel her loss, and I want her back. I want her to never leave, and that familiar disappointment racks my body.
I stand. No. I won’t be the old Oakley. Yet I feel myself gravitating toward the two of them. I just want to crawl into their skin.
Kyan walks to the shower, and Holli follows.
I have to get out of here before I make a mistake and try to apologize for shit over and over. I’m almost out the door, where our shoes are piled up, before Holli’s soft voice stops me.
“Fourteen.”
I turn to face her, confused for a second, until I realize she’s called me by my hunter number. She’s standing there, giving me an indecipherable look. Every cell in my body wants to go to her and drop to my knees. But I don’t. I stand still.
We both stare at each other, so much history between us.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spot something move. I glance over to see something black dart out of the corner of the room toward Holli. It’s a bug, a huge bug with a bunch of black legs all up and down its body and a red head.
Fear shoots through my muscles, and I snatch up a shoe, darting after the centipede. It’s still headed toward Holli, who’s just standing there, frozen, looking like she’s trapped in another reality.
The bug is fast, darting along the wall to the bathroom and back out onto the open floor. All I can see is it biting my fox, and that fills me with an odd sort of cold terror.
I smash the shoe down on the bug as hard as I can.
For a second, the creature is stunned, but then it hops back up and runs at Holli again.
The chill takes over me, and I slam the shoe down on it again and again.
Each time it springs up, only the last time, it runs toward me.
Letting out a screech, I jump out of the way.
For a second, it veers toward the bed, and I picture it hiding there and biting Holli’s toes.
I hit it again, and it scurries out the door.
I chase after it into the hallway, but it blends into the place where the wall meets the floor and disappears into another room.
The burning in my limbs makes my arms shake, and I pant for breath. It’s gone. It can’t hurt her.
Turning, I see Holli is still there, staring. Only now, instead of just glazed, her eyes are tightened with fear, and that look is like a sucker punch to my gut.
“It’s gone,” I say, walking up to her.
She doesn’t look like she heard me.
“Holli?” I reach to gently grab her arm, and she rears back like I hit her, looking around like she’s looking for something I can’t see.
“It bit me.”
What? That adrenaline is back, and I scan her body for injuries. I don’t remember it biting her; how did it bite her?
“It bit me.” She’s breathing hard.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Holli pulls in a breath. “I mean,” she pulls in another, “it bit me on the island.”
I’m confused for a second before my brain catches up. On the island. During the game. I hate the look in her eyes. I want to hug her until it goes away.
I take a tentative step toward her. She doesn’t move away, so I take another step until I’m right next to her.
“Can I give you a hug?” My heart races. She might say no. She definitely will say no, and that’s okay.
Miraculously, she gives a tiny nod of her head. For a second, I don’t believe I saw it, but she makes eye contact with me, and her gaze is tortured.
Immediately, I wrap my arms around her, folding her small body into mine.
She’s stiff, but I pull her in and squeeze her as if I could protect her from anything that might hurt her.
We’re silent for a while, but as she breathes, slowly her shoulders relax, and her head drops on my shoulder.
When she does that, I feel a warmth spread over my body. I feel like everything might be okay.
Holli’s voice comes out quietly, “It doesn’t feel over. The game.”
I stand there, frozen.
“It feels like I’m living it again and again every day.” I feel her move her shoulders, and I squeeze her tighter. She pulls in a breath, and I feel like the worst person in the world.
Holli keeps talking. “But I’m trying to act like it doesn’t feel like that. Because the game is over.” She looks up at me with those stunning blue eyes, tightened with pain. Then, she moves to get out of my hold, and reluctantly, I let her.
“It’s over, Oakley.”
I swallow, my chest tight. What is she talking about? Is this a breakup talk? Not that we were ever together together, but… Suddenly, I feel nauseous, and I just want her back in my arms.
“The game is over, Oakley, but we’re still here.” She swallows. “So why don’t you pretend with me?”
I stare at her. Pretend with her? She looks both unsure and very sure at the same time. She raises her chin. “Pretend like it’s over until it feels like it.”
“I…” My gut twists. Pretend like it’s over. Like we’re over.
“You’re still playing the game, Oakley. You don’t have to save me anymore, including from my own feelings.”
“I’m not—” I start to protest, but she cuts me off.
“What you did won’t go away, and I’m not advocating we just forget it. But I…I don’t think you’re a bad person.”
Wait. She doesn’t think I’m a bad person?
“So let’s see where this new chapter brings us, huh?”
I stare at her, my mind turning slowly. New chapter? She’s not breaking up with me? She wants to see where the future brings us?
Holli turns to the bathroom, then turns back to me. “Oh, and Oakley?”
“Huh?” My mind is swirling with the new information, but with the confusion is also hope. Fucking hope, it always kicks my ass, and yet I can’t help but lean into the sparkle it brings.
“I’m starving. Could you maybe make us something to eat?” She gives me a small smile. It looks pained, but it’s still a smile.