Chapter Ten
We got through the rest of the fall after the Magic
were eliminated from the playoffs and settled into a routine I was comfortable
with. I still had to fly back and forth to Atlanta a bit, but filming was
wrapping up, and I was looking forward to three months of living a normal life.
We spent Thanksgiving with Christian’s best friend, Terry,
and his girlfriend, Dana. Terry is in the US Army and just got back from being
deployed overseas for the past nine months. We have so much to be thankful
for—especially his safe return. Christian’s friends have become my good friends
now, too. I love how our separate lives have blended so smoothly. There is so
much laughter and joy, and things are good. Better than good.
Christian and Terry have been best friends since
kindergarten, and I love how the pressure from both of their jobs melts away
when they are together and how they have such childlike fun wherever they go. I
get along great with Dana, too. It’s like we were all destined to be in each
other’s lives.
Christian is finally out of his funk from last season, and
we’re already looking forward to the new year. But as we’re getting ready to
jingle some bells and celebrate the holidays, things take an unexpected turn.
Since, there has been zero fa-la-la-la-la-ing this holiday season.
At all.
Because the Magic don’t renew Christian’s contract.
He gets the call as we step off the plane in Florida to
spend Christmas with his family. Actually, there’s a text from his agent,
urging Christian to call him back. When he does, his agent breaks the news.
There’s no warning, no heads-up, just a cold call saying they weren’t resigning
him. He’s devastated, and the timing obviously isn’t great. Like…couldn’t they
have waited until after the holidays to pull the rug out from under him?
“It’s going to be okay,” I say, but honestly, I don’t know
that. I don’t know anything about what happens when you’re an athlete who
doesn’t get signed. He’s a free agent now, but I don’t know if that’s a great
situation to be in either.
He’s tense, and all he does is nod as we grab our luggage at
baggage claim.
We pick up our rental car, and his phone rings. It’s the
Magic’s general manager. Christian addresses him by name instead of a greeting,
and I swear I’m holding my breath, afraid of where this conversation will go.
But I’m so proud when he takes the high road and doesn’t
raise his voice or get angry. I have no idea what the GM says, but after
several minutes, Christian ends the call with, “I wish you all the best.”
It’s said through clenched teeth, but still…
We make the drive to his parents’ house in total silence. I
know it’s what he needs, but I hate it for him. And the worst part is, I can’t
get a read on him. I almost always can. I know he’s angry and disappointed, but
the whole situation is foreign to me. What is he thinking? This is a side of
him I’ve never seen before. I’ve seen the casual, laid-back man, I’ve seen the
injured athlete, and I’ve seen the professional baseball player through a
season. But this is new.
I want him to open up and confide in me, but I think he’s
partially in shock and trying to wrap his head around everything before he
shares it with me. Still, I want to help, and right now, that means staying
quiet.
Thankfully, it’s only a thirty-minute drive.
When we pull up to his childhood home, he finally looks at
me. “I’m not ready to tell anyone about this news.”
I nod.
“I just need some time to process everything.” He lets out a
long breath. “Hopefully, we can still enjoy our holiday.”
“That sounds good.” I’m spending Christmas with him and his
family because his dad has been ill lately, and it is important for me to be
here with him. We’ll fly to Memphis to see my family the day after Christmas,
and then, like last year, we’ll be back in LA for New Year’s.
It’s like speed dating with the holidays.
We get out of the car, and I can see that he’s struggling.
He’s close to his family, and he usually tells them everything. So, the fact
that he’s not going to tell them what just happened must be weighing
on him. Still, I think this visit is exactly what he needs right now.
Until we walk through the door.
One look at his mom, and I know something’s not right.
“It’s your father,” she says quietly. “He’s…it’s…he’s in the
ICU with stage four kidney failure.”
Kidney disease runs in the Lucas family. Three of his
siblings have had transplants. It’s heartbreaking. Now, unfortunately, it’s his
dad’s turn.
All of this happens in the span of an hour. I practically
have whiplash from it all, so I can’t even imagine how Christian is processing
it.
Naturally, we head to the hospital immediately. I’m not sure
I truly understood or appreciated the closeness of this family until now. I do
my best to stay in the background, grabbing snacks and drinks, and I’m there
for support. Over the next several days, I see an entire community come
together—people getting tested to see if they can donate to Mr. Lucas—I even
get tested. Sadly, none of us is a match.
And during it all, Christian is still talking with his
agent, trying to find a team. He’s so strong, balancing this nightmare with his
career while struggling with the possibility of losing his father. He doesn’t
crumble. There’s never a moment when he throws up his hands and says he can’t
handle it.
But me? I’m having a hard time keeping it together. I’m not
very close to Mr. Lucas, but it’s devastating to see him like this. I’m an
emotional person, but none of the Lucases are. So, I
keep my fear and sadness to myself. I’ve snuck off more than once to allow some
tears to fall. But when I rejoin everyone, my smile is firmly in place, and I’m
there to help wherever I’m needed.
Meanwhile, Christian starts receiving offers, but they’re
not what he’s looking for. I can relate. Just because you’re offered a role
doesn’t mean you have to take it. Is the money right? The terms? Is it
something you can live with? It’s no different with a baseball contract. I’m
seriously impressed with Christian’s business side. He knows his worth, and
he’s unwilling to settle. Ultimately, he gets a career-changing deal that he is
very excited about. It’s for three years, and he’s getting the respect he deserves.
However…
It’s in St. Louis.
All of my hopes and dreams of us starting a life in
California are suddenly gone.
My career is in LA. I know I’m filming Workin’
for Laughs in Atlanta, but everything else is in Hollywood. I geared my
entire life toward that goal. That dream. I made sacrifices. I left my family
when I was nineteen. I battled loneliness time and time again. I handled the
trial of living through a season as a baseball girlfriend. And it was all about
California. The West Coast. Movies. Acting. Sunshine. Beaches.
Selfishly, I want to run away and cry again about how unfair
it all is. I know I’ve experienced disappointment before. And I know things
don’t always go my way. But I was so darn sure that it was heading in that
direction this time that I can’t help but feel the heaviness of disenchantment.
When Christian and I met, it felt like the universe wanted
us to meet. There were too many coincidences. Too many signs. My lucky number.
My golden birthday. And from that first moment, I just knew we were
meant to be together. That’s why it is beyond devastating that the same
universe that put us together is trying to keep us apart.
It was all starting to fall into place, and now, it’s all up
in the air again. This means long-distance dating again. It means flying back
and forth all the time and living out of suitcases. It means Christian living
in one place, and me living in another.
It means a balancing act that will leave me feeling like I’m
failing and letting everyone down.
Internally, I’m having a complete meltdown, but when
Christian looks at me—his eyes shining with hope—and asks, “What do you think,
Ella Rose?”
What do I think? What do I think?
My inner voice screeches in near hysteria at his question.
There are dozens of comebacks on the tip of my tongue just begging to be said:
I think I hate this.
I don’t think it’s fair.
I think I deserve something to go my way.
I think you need to find a team that doesn’t disrupt our
entire lives.
I let out a quiet breath as my raging thoughts settle. He’s
still looking at me with the same expression—all hope and love. And in that
moment, I know I would follow this man anywhere in the world. And if our roles
were reversed, I know he’d do it for me, too.
“I think it’s too good a deal to pass up,” I say with
complete honesty. I smile, and I’m genuinely happy for him. He deserves a
contract like St. Louis is offering him. And after the way the Magic crushed
his spirit, I’m glad the Archers see his potential.
If only it was the Magic going to St. Louis and the Archers
coming to Anaheim.
“Are you sure?” he asks, breaking into my thoughts. “This
will be a big change for us. And this move isn’t just about me. It will affect
you, as well. This last year and a half that we’ve been together, we’ve been
happily settled in Southern California. It was convenient for both of our
careers. And now, I’m turning everything upside down.”
The fact that he sees it cushions the blow a little.
Swallowing hard, I nod. “I know. I was looking forward to
not having to do the long-distance thing any more than we have to, but…”
“I know you have your career, too. You’ve worked so hard to
get where you are, and I would never ask you to give it up. I just need to know
that you’re okay with this.”
I love that he’s asking, and that he respects my opinion and
my career.
Just like I know and respect that this is something he has
to do.
“It’s a tremendous opportunity for you. You’ve worked so
hard to get where you are, and I will follow you wherever you go. We’ll make it
work.”
Because we are one. We’re a team.
I could whine a little and maybe get some of the frustration
off my chest, but it’s not necessary. My life has been a series of crazy