Chapter Ten #2
schedules and inconveniences while following my dream. What makes this any
different?
So, I say the only thing I can.
“Let’s book our flights to St. Louis and see our new home
for at least the next three years.”
We have a very subdued Christmas with the Lucases, and his dad officially gets on the transplant
list. I tried to tell Christian that we didn’t need to go and see my family. I
called and let them know what was going on, but he insisted because he could
tell I needed it.
And I did.
I do.
The first chance she has, my mom takes me by the hand and
sits me down in my old bedroom.
Far away from the rest of the family.
And Christian.
“You have a very expressive face, Ella,” she says. “I
already know about Christian’s dad, and I know that’s very upsetting, but I can
tell something else is wrong. Your father noticed it too, so…out with it.”
I don’t even pretend that I don’t know what she’s talking
about and blurt out the whole thing about the Magic not re-signing Christian,
all the offers he received, and the one he accepted.
“So, you’re moving to St. Louis?”
“Kind of.”
“What do you mean, kind of?”
“Mom, my job is primarily in Hollywood and Atlanta for now.
I can’t move to St. Louis full-time.” I pause. “And don’t think I don’t know
what you’re thinking.”
She smirks. “Okay, what am I thinking?”
“You’re thinking I need to go after what’s mine. And I am.
Just not…I can’t quit my career,” I say firmly. “I won’t. I love Christian, and
we know we want to get married, but…”
“But your career is just as important as his.”
“Exactly.” Even though he’s making way more money than I
could ever fathom making, that doesn’t mean my dream is less.
“This isn’t exactly what you signed on for,” she says
softly. “But you, more than anyone, know that if you want something, you need
to work for it.” Then she smiles. “Or maybe I should remind you of a Christmas
gift we gave you when you were a little girl.”
The baseball hat with Dream It. Be It embroidered
on it.
“Mom…”
“You can be anything you want to be, Ella. You can be an
actress. A singer. A dancer. You can even be the wife of a Major League
Baseball player. But…”
“I have to work for it,” I finish.
“Exactly.”
She hugs me, and I hold on for longer than usual because I
need this. Tears sting my eyes. So much is changing, and I thought my life
would be more settled by now.
She gives me one last squeeze before stepping back. “When do
you leave for St. Louis?”
“January second. We want to celebrate New Year’s with our
friends. Plus, we have some shopping to do. Neither of us even owns winter
clothes. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen actual snow. I’m used to the fake stuff
they use on movie sets. Or at Wonder Land. Remember the way they would make it
snow for the holiday parties?”
“I do. And I remember seeing the look on your face the first
time you saw it. You were enchanted by it and looked like an angel.” She sighs
softly.
“It was magical,” I say, remembering how I would twirl under
the flurries that were just fake snow made from a soap product called SNOAP.
Even when I got older and knew it wasn’t real, I still liked to pretend it was.
“I’m guessing St. Louis gets a lot of snow.”
“I’m sure! I think you’re definitely going to see it in
January,” she teases. “Is there anything I can do, sweetheart?”
“You’ve already done it. You listened and let me get
everything out that I’ve been keeping inside.”
Like so many other things.
“Christian needs to know how you feel. Relationships don’t
work if you don’t communicate.”
“I know, and I’ll tell him. I just didn’t want to do it
while we were in Florida. There’s so much going on with his dad. I didn’t want
to add to all the stress. But…we’ll talk about it. I promise.”
“Good girl. Now, come on. I made all your favorite holiday
dishes.”
“You didn’t have to do that. You just made it all two days
ago.”
“Nope. We haven’t had Christmas yet. We were waiting for
you.”
And then I’m hugging her again, and even though I can hear
the kitchen timer going off, I hold on to her for a long time.
“What have we gotten ourselves into?”
Christian’s reading my mind again because that’s exactly
what I’m thinking.
We landed in St. Louis an hour ago, grabbed our luggage at
baggage claim, and then picked up our rental car.
It’s a little like déjà vu.
We went from the warmth of the California sun to the ice and
wind of a St. Louis winter. I think my body’s in shock.
Now, we’re driving through the frigid January wind that’s
whipping through the streets. Everything is gray, wet, and gloomy. And then it
starts to snow. It’s like when Dorothy woke up in Oz, except we went from
Technicolor to black and white.
Of course, that’s a bit dramatic, but it was that drastic a
change.
We’ll be here for a week. The Archers have several events
they want Christian to take part in, but that doesn’t start for another two
days. We wanted a few days to ourselves to get acclimated.
And from the looks of things, we are going to need it.
We check into our hotel, and it isn’t until we’re in our
room that I start to warm up.
Literally.
I sit on the bed, and Christian’s immediately there beside
me. “So? What do you think so far?” He takes both of my hands in his larger
ones to warm them up, a lopsided grin on his face. I look up into those blue
eyes I love and want to pretend we’re anywhere but here right now.
But that won’t help anything.
“Um, it’s…cold,” I say with a laugh. Luckily, he laughs,
too.
“Yeah, that one’s going to take a while to get used to.
Although I’m already looking forward to spring training being in Florida.” He
grins. “But it’s not bad, right?”
“It’s hard to tell anything about the city yet,” I reason.
“Once we go out and explore, I’ll share my opinion.” I playfully nudge his
shoulder. “But I think I’m going to need to wear more layers if we walk
anywhere.”
He laughs again. “Same.”
When he gets up and shrugs off his coat, I sigh with
appreciation. I don’t make a habit of openly ogling him, but…come on. The man
has a very attractive physique, and I can’t help but sit back and admire it
when the opportunity presents itself. He stretches and goes over to the windows
to look out at the city, and I follow. “What about you? What do you think so
far? You know, other than the cold. Do you think this could feel like home?”
“It has to. The contract is signed, and this is home for the
next three years.” He’s very casual about it. Like it’s no big deal.
“Oh.”
When he turns his head, I realize what I did.
“Ella Rose?”
That’s it. Just my name. In that deep timbre of his.
“Okay,” I begin after letting out a shaky breath. “I’m
not…I’m not loving this. Not right now. I’m sure I will in time, but
this truly rocked our world, Christian. It popped our perfect bubble.”
He leads me back to the bed to sit down. “Believe it or not,
I feel the exact same way. This wasn’t part of the plan, but everything got
ripped out from under me. This is something I have to do. Maybe I should have
discussed it more with you, but I thought you were okay with it. I hate that
I’ve upset you.”
“I’m not going to lie, I was devastated. Everything I
thought we were working toward changed.” I sigh. “Plus, there was just so much
going on between everything with the Magic, your dad, and the holidays. It was
a lot to take in.” Another pause. “But I know change can be good. It’s all
about how we look at it, right?”
He nods, his expression tender. “I’m hopeful that after this
week—once we meet the team and tour the stadium and find an apartment—all our
anxiety will be gone. If you think about it, it’s kind of exciting.”
Is it?
“When we met, we were both established in California. You
had your life in LA and Hollywood, and mine was in Newport Beach and Anaheim.
It was easy to slip into each other’s lives because everything was there. But
this? This, we’re building together. We’re making a home here. You and me.”
“I love the sound of that. But…I’m not going to be living
here a lot of the time.”
“It doesn’t matter. This will still be our home. Not me
moving in with you, or you moving in with me. It’ll be ours.”
I feel the first twinge of excitement.
Ours.
Not his place. Ours.
Maybe this isn’t the worst thing that could happen to us.
Maybe the long distance will work out just fine.
After all, if it means coming home to Christian whenever I
can, to a place that belongs to both of us, how bad can it be? I’m beginning to
thaw from the frigid temperatures outside, but Christian can tell that I am
still frozen. He takes my jacket and scarf off and pulls me onto the bed and
under the covers. He wraps his warm body around me like a heated blanket, and
the cold reality of our situation melts away. We cuddle, and he gently kisses
my face all over until he meets my lips. Then, he reassures me that everything
will be okay. I guess St. Louis isn’t so bad…
We find an apartment on the first day we go out
looking, and I already have big decorating plans for it. At least, I do in my
head. It’s not something I can commit to right now. It doesn’t feel like
something I should do until we’re more settled in our relationship. I don’t
want to say that I won’t decorate until we’re married, but it’s more like when
I have the proper time, and not just when I’m here for a weekend.
The cold weather is
completely rude, but we both grin and bear it as we explore the city.
The closer we get to meeting up with the Archers, the more I
can tell that Christian’s pulling a little away from me and turning into the
professional athlete guy. I don’t take offense. This is essentially a job
interview, even though he already has the job. So, I let him have his space to
get mentally prepared.
The event we’re attending is for charity, and we can both
tell right away that it’s a totally different vibe than anything we ever did
with the Magic. From the moment we walk in the door and start meeting the
management, I know it’s an environment that will be good for Christian.
And me.
We meet his new teammates and a ton of fans. At one point,