Chapter 7 Jesse
Jesse
NOW
“Don’t worry, she’ll be back.” Fia flashes me an apologetic look. “It’s freezing out, and Penny hates being cold.”
I trail my fingers over Tank’s smooth back as he sinks onto the braided rug at my feet next to the sofa.
The kitchen opens into the living room, so no walls to separate Fia and me as we sit in the quiet wake of Penny’s storm.
Fia hasn’t moved, still leaning against the kitchen island, as if anchored there.
It’s only been minutes since Penny walked out, but the aftershocks of her earthquake are still very present.
“The last thing I want is to cause trouble here.” I pause, trying to find words that won’t unravel whatever trust I’ve managed to rebuild with Fia. “Me and your sister have our history. But I’m not trying to pull you into the middle of it.”
“I know.” Fia’s nails hover at her mouth—an old nervous habit. Nan used to give her hell for it. “This isn’t how I had it planned.”
Her plan was shaky at best, but I didn’t have time to get to the bottom of that.
My stomach rumbles, interrupting my thoughts. It’s almost lunch time, but the alarm on my phone reminds me that there’s no time for that.
“Shit, I gotta go.” I silence my phone, stand, and grab my keys from the hook near the back door. I pause to look at Fia. “You sure you don’t want to come with me?”
She shakes her head. “I’ll stay here and wait for her to come back. Next week, though?”
Danny’s going to be bummed, but I bite my tongue. “Yeah, of course. You cool with me leaving Tank?”
Fia crouches to his level, letting him slobber all over her cheek. She turns, laughing, and throws me a thumbs-up.
I’m still second-guessing being back here—not just in this house, but Wilmington. It was time to come back, settle up some things I left undone, but nothing about that is easy. There’s no roadmap to follow.
But seeing Fia on the floor with my dog makes me think that at least Tank’s happy and Fia’s not alone. That’s gotta be worth something, right?
“I’ll be back late. He gets one scoop of kibble for dinner. Thanks, Fi. I owe you.”
I tap her shoulder and head out through the back door, the cold slapping me the second it opens.
The sky is gray, and the wind whips against my car as asphalt stretches endlessly in front of me. Seventy-two miles left until I reach the state prison.
The plastic table between us bends, my elbows weighing it down. My knee bounces a bit under the table—this is not a place I ever wanted to return.
I’ve been on Danny’s call list for seven years—ever since I got out. It’s taken most of that time to untangle our messy friendship. Ten years inside gave him plenty of time to screw up, but also to grow. Still, being back here is a mindfuck. I don’t really know what I’m doing—I’m just trying.
Trying to fix things.
Trying to show up.
Last Monday was the first time I’d seen him face to face in years, and the first time I’d stepped back inside this prison since my own release. And now I have to explain why I showed up alone.
Danny asked me to bring Fia when he called last week, which didn't surprise me since she’s the one person he brings up every time we talk.
I found out she’s been visiting when she can, maybe twice a year, three if she’s lucky.
But her life’s been rough lately. Her car barely makes it across town, and with her classes, her job, and now the pregnancy… It’s a lot.
And today, she’s at home waiting for Penny to storm back through the front door.
“Hey, man, how you’ve been? You look like shit,” Danny starts, and I laugh, looking down at my faded black jeans and dark-green shirt under my old leather jacket, wishing I could shove him like we used to when we were dumb kids.
But there’s a whole room full of inmates and guards with eyes like lasers.
I glance at the signs on the wall: No touching. And I try to ignore the metal mesh on the windows. Seeing them makes me feel like I’m back in this fucking sardine can.
But I’m here for him.
Despite everything.
I forgave Danny because I made a promise to myself to stop living with grudges. They’ll rot you from the inside out if you let them.
I crack a grin. “Nice to see you, too, asshat. It’s been a day.”
“It’s 2 p.m., what the hell could’ve happened so far?” He throws up his hands. “You get a speeding ticket on the way up or something?”
I chuckle and lean back, black leather tugging at my shoulders.
Danny’s always been a smartass, but ironically, prison might’ve saved him.
He’s sober now, learning to weld, and talks about life after release—five months to go.
Not the usual stuff, like fast food or chasing girls.
He wants to visit Nan’s grave, volunteer at the shelter with me, and more than anything, show up for his little sister.
“Not that,” I say, tilting my head back. “But I did get accosted. By your sister.”
“Fia?”
My mouth opens, hesitating for a moment. “Your other sister.”
He lets out a low whistle and leans toward me. Amber eyes—the same as hers—watch me too closely. “How…how is she?”
There’s that ache that never healed laced in his tone. What happened with Danny and I fractured his family, the same one that welcomed me with open arms when I was barely sixteen. The same one I ran from, the same one I’m trying to make amends with.
“She’s…” I pause.
She’s Penny. A wildfire. Beautiful in ways she never understood. The girl who considers me public enemy number one. But that’s not what Danny needs to hear.
“She’s good.” It’s a white lie, for Danny’s sake. No need to tell him she was about to decapitate me. “She showed up today, to be with Fia for the holidays, I guess.” I shrug, ready to chat about anything else.
But Danny traces a circle on the table, a mischievous grin on his face. “I’m glad she’s still there for Fia.” He hesitates, hunched over the table. “She seem happy?”
“I only saw her for maybe ten minutes.” I rub my stubbled jaw. “She’s processing a lot. Seeing me. Finding out about the baby…”
The clock on the grimy white wall ticks, and Danny nods slowly.
“Yeah, Fia called me yesterday to tell me about the baby. Still shocked. But that’s a lot for Penny, too.”
“But hey,” I say, straightening my spine, “at least Penny got out of this town and she’s doing what she always said she’d do.”
Just saying that makes my heart twinge, an old scar pulsing inside my chest.
“That’s what Fia says.” Danny leans back, his smile returning. “Ever think back to those summers, all of us raising hell? We were wild, but Penny always kept us in line. Well, she tried.”
I laugh. “How could I forget?”
The memory of us flying down back roads in high school with Penny screaming in the passenger seat hits out of nowhere. I haven’t thought about that in ages. The true miracle isn’t that Danny’s alive, it’s that all three of us are.
He tilts his head, studying me. “Hey, man…you think she’d come with you next time? To visit me? It’s almost Christmas. Maybe she’s feeling generous.”
Danny doesn’t know Penny anymore, not that I really do either. But nothing about what I do know or saw today makes me believe I’d be able to get her here to see her brother. If I did succeed, she’d probably be the next Hanson sibling to land themselves behind bars.
“I’ll try, but no promises man.” I crack my knuckles. “She’s stubborn, you know that. And I’m not sure how long she’s sticking around.”
Danny shrugs, masking disappointment, and I feel for him. “Nah, I figured. Just wishful thinking. I haven’t heard from her in a decade…what would change now?”
A jolt of stubbornness hits me, because why did I come here, why did I move back if I wasn’t here to fix things? I don’t really owe Danny anything, but I’m trying to make things right.
Maybe this is my good karma deed to get the ball rolling.
“I’ll see what I can do, okay? Penny used to like me, maybe it can happen again,” I joke, but Danny takes it to heart.
“I appreciate it!” He slams a palm on the table and points to me. “I believe in you. Do your magic.”
I don’t mention the way she looked at me today—like I was something broken she never wanted to touch again.
Instead, I nod as the guards give us the signal.
As I walk out, I turn back to see Danny shuffle toward the locked doors. He raises a hand before disappearing through them.
I don’t know what it will take to get through to Penny, but I do know I’ve got my work cut out for me.
What Danny doesn’t know is that today might’ve been the first time I laid eyes on Penny in ten years, but not a day has gone by that I haven’t shut my eyes and seen hers.
Or thought about that final kiss I planted on her sleeping face, knowing I was about to break her heart.
This wasn’t going to be easy.
Everything is quiet and dark by the time I get back to the house.
I ate dinner at a roadside diner, alone, and ended up driving around Wilmington aimlessly for a while.
Driving eases me. When I first moved to California, I would drive Highway 1 up and down the coast for hours when I couldn’t sleep.
And tonight, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but I didn’t want to be the reason Fia and Penny didn’t.
The glow from the living room catches my eye, and I peer in on my way to the staircase. Fia’s fast asleep on the sofa, the TV still flickering, Tank squished beside her like he’s always been her dog. A thick fleece blanket is draped over both of them.
Tank’s block head is wedged between the back of the tan sofa and Fia’s growing bump. He cracks his eyes to look at me, lets out a small sigh as he nestles in closer to her, and shuts his eyes again.
Traitor.
Three years ago, I rescued him from the LA shelter I was working at.
It took ten minutes of playing with the dirty four-month-old puppy to decide I needed him as much as he needed me.
He’s been my ride or die ever since. Well, up until I moved here; now he’s attached to Fia’s side.
But I’m not mad about it. Dogs know when someone needs them.
I head upstairs and hear faint sounds—sudden music, an electronic-sounding voice, another sudden song, like someone is scrolling a social media app. The moment my boots hit the upstairs hallway floor, it creaks, and the bedroom across from mine falls silent.
I guess Penny returned…and she’s awake.
I shake my head, step into my room, and switch on the light.
Not much has changed in here since I was a teenager.
Forest-green walls with a wallpaper border of mallard ducks.
The same pine bed frame that still groans in protest when I lie on it.
But everything I own fits in here, considering I left anything that didn’t fit in my Camaro back in California.
I toss my leather jacket on the back of the chair in the corner and strip down to my boxers. The promise I made to Danny plays again in my head as I lie down, staring up at the same ceiling I memorized over a decade ago.
Nothing lights a fire in my chest like the odds being stacked against me. But the stubborn blonde across the hall is a challenge I’m pretty sure might kill me.