Chapter 8 Penny
Penny
NOW
Of course, he left his dog here for us to take care of.
Fia seemed totally chill about watching Tank, adding to my growing frustration.
She spent her entire childhood obsessing over dogs, reading every dog book, begging Nan to take her to the shelter to adopt one.
So in any other circumstance, I’d be thrilled for her to have a companion.
I grabbed the large fleece blanket from the back of the chair and draped it around Fia before heading upstairs, turning up the thermostat as I went.
Not that it would make a difference—the ancient radiator system in this house is beyond my understanding, and I wouldn’t even know where to start fixing it. Still, it desperately needs repair.
After anxiously watching every passing car from my bedroom window, bracing for his return, exhaustion eventually overtakes me. I force myself to unpack, shoving my clothes into the tiny closet.
Perched on the bed, I scroll through my phone like a sulky teenager desperate for distraction—until a floorboard groans in the hallway. I jolt upright, slamming my phone onto the covers.
My pulse spikes as the shadow stretches beneath the door, because my body can’t tell the difference between a lurking ex-boyfriend and a serial killer who’s broken in. However, as quickly as it happens, he's gone. I didn't even know Jesse was home.
Collapsing against the headboard, I squeeze my eyes shut, listening until the door across the hall clicks closed. I feel like a prisoner in a house I technically own.
The moment my head hits the pillow, I’m wide awake again, and I toss back and forth relentlessly.
I hope I wake up to find out that none of this was real.
My hair feels like a rat’s nest piled on my head—wavy and hanging around my cheeks, the rest of it twisted into a messy bun—as I meander down the stairs.
Something’s burning.
Something cheesy, maybe. Or eggs.
I pull my sweatshirt sleeves down around my fingers, and brace myself for whatever mess I’m walking into. Probably Jesse burning shit.
Rounding the corner, I collide directly into Tank, knees knocking against his solid gray body. He doesn’t so much as glance my direction as drool beads on his mouth.
“I’m sorry!” I apologize to him. It’s not his fault that he is owned by Jesse.
I follow his intense gaze to my sister.
Fia curses under her breath, and tears stream down her face as two black discs sit in front of her on a plate.
“Good morning,” she greets me meekly, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her terry cloth robe.
I circle the island to get a look at whatever is on her plate.
Two hockey pucks, it appears.
“I just wanted a bagel.” She inhales, staring longingly at the sad, burnt food in front of her. “It’s all I’ve been craving, and this is the last one, and I had to pee so bad, and it stayed in the toaster oven too long, and it’s burnt now and—”
“It’s okay, Fi.” I wrap my arms around her narrow shoulders and pull her into a hug. Clearly, she’s got the fragility of an eggshell right now.
I grab the plate and toss the bagel in the trash—much to Tank’s dismay. I snag a paper towel and hand it to her. Fia blows her nose, peering at me pathetically.
This is what I do best. Clean up messes.
“Forget about the bagel. There’s a new café by the beach, they serve brunch, and it looks really good. Plus, I need to get out.”
She perks up, fiery red hair falling from behind her ears. “Okay.” She sniffles. “That sounds good.”
“Great.” I try to muster some semblance that I have my shit together today. “Let’s leave in thirty.”
I stand at the sink, blow-drying my hair in the only upstairs bathroom this house has, when my phone dings. After a quick shower, I admittedly feel a bit better. Jesse was nowhere to be found this morning, and maybe today, Fia and I can have a nice, normal afternoon doing stuff we’re used to.
Audrey: How’s it going today? Robert was asking about you at pilates. He invited us to his and Dave’s xmas party, but I told him you’re out of town :(
I set down the dryer, typing out a response.
Penny: Damn, I really need to sweat out this rage inside me. Instead I’m dealing with the aftermath of my sister crying over a burnt bagel.
Audrey: I hear those pregnancy hormones are no joke. How’s the ex situation?
Penny: He’s made himself scarce. I’m hoping he gets the hint and just leaves. I need Fia to focus on her life, not be distracted by her estranged “brother” showing back up.
Audrey: It’s really messing with my brain when you refer to your ex-boyfriend as a brother. Do you really think he’ll leave?
Penny: Sorry, it’s just she acts like he’s family but he is NOT. He doesn’t belong here, not in this house, not in this town. Nowhere near me. I don’t care if he paid rent. I’m making him leave.
Audrey: Well it sounds like you have quite the day ahead of you.
Penny: HA. Thanks for the moral support.
I swipe on some matte-pink lipstick and fluff my hair in the small medicine cabinet mirror, the light yellow and harsh. Another text lights up my screen.
Audrey: Just play nice…maybe he’s changed. Also, still waiting for that pic of Jesse. How can I hate him with you if I don’t even know what he looks like?
Penny: Seeing him won’t help. Trust me.
Heat rises in my cheeks. Do I really think that? I mean fine, he is attractive. But my best friend having that knowledge won’t help my case.
I need to keep my eyes on the prize, not have Audrey reminding me that the guy renting a room in my family home was the center of my universe once upon a time.
“Want to walk on the beach?” Fia asks after taking the last bite of her asiago bagel. The color has returned to her face, and her green eyes are no longer filled with tears now that she’s eaten.
I agree to the beach, because even if it’s cold, the beach has always been our happy place. Maybe that’ll make what I need to discuss with her easier.
Sinewy clouds linger in the blue sky. We walk over to the public beach access, and the moment I hear the waves, the tension in my shoulders slowly melts. Fia pulls her hood up; the baby bump is barely noticeable under all her layers.
The ocean is dark today, with only a few seagulls scattered along the stretch of sand. The wind whips my hair across my face, and I brush it back, eager to enjoy this walk, eager to hold on to the peace it brings me.
Fia turns to face me as we walk along the cold sand, a shy smile playing on her lips. “I can’t wait to bring my baby here one day. Hopefully they’ll love the water just as much as we did as kids.”
“Of course they will, it’s part of our DNA,” I say, still fighting the surreal feeling around Fia being pregnant. “Hey, have you talked to your school to figure out how to finish your last semester?”
Fia nods. “I’m going to finish school online next semester and probably take some classes over the summer. Then, when the baby is old enough for daycare, I can work full-time.”
“Isn’t daycare pretty expensive?”
“I’ll figure it out. I have some time.” She shrugs, and my shoulders tense.
I can’t figure out why she isn’t taking this more seriously.
“Nan raised three of us on a nurse’s salary.” She smiles, walking wistfully beside me.
This feels impossible. I know Fia’s resourceful, and she’s wicked smart, but she’s not thinking clearly. She can’t raise a baby with no family around, in an old house, on minimum wage, and finish college. Something has got to give.
We come across a patch of sand filled with shells, and I bite my lip, my lungs tightening.
Two fishermen with long poles walk by, nodding at us, and I muster up a smile before turning to see Fia squatting down, sifting through the shells.
She picks up a large one with orange striping.
“A treasure,” we would’ve thought as kids.
“For the baby’s room.” She shoves the shell in her pocket. “I’m going to do a bohemian beach theme.”
I nod, my list of worries growing longer in my head. “Which room are you going to turn into a nursery?”
“I was thinking about your room.” We both stop, and her lashes blink rapidly. “If that’s okay with you? It’s next to mine and has good lighting.”
“I have a proposition for you, actually,” I say, even as nausea rolls through me.
“What?” Fia asks, studying the seashells near her shoes.
I steel myself. I came here without a real plan, just knowing I had to clean up this mess and help Fia, but now it’s become evident that there’s only one plan that makes sense.
“I think you should move to Raleigh. Like move in with me.”
Fia’s eyes snap up.
“I have a large spare room with its own bathroom,” I say, hurrying through my words. ”You wouldn’t have to pay rent, you wouldn’t need a car, and my condo building is new and safe. I could help you find a good job in the city, so you can afford daycare and—”
“Wow…” She cuts me off, twirling the toe of her white sneaker in the sand, avoiding eye contact. “That’s extremely generous of you, Penny…but I can’t just leave.”
“Why not?”
It’s the ideal solution. No one is going to come to save her, and I’m offering an olive branch.
The wind blows a lock of red hair into Fia’s eyes, and she tucks it behind her ear, shrugging. “Jesse paid me rent in advance, I can’t kick him out now.”
My heart rate mimics the white-capped waves pounding the shore, but I ball my fists and try to reason with her.
“So give him it back,” I snap, shoving my fists into the deep pockets of my wool coat. “He can find a new place, he’s a grown man.”
“I’d never do that to him!” Fia gapes at me. She’s too kind, too delicate.
I bite my tongue so I don’t say everything else I think about him. Like that she can toss him out on the damn street for all I care.
“Plus, I don’t want Danny living in a halfway house when he gets out. I want him to move into the family home.”
Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.
Sure, invite the brother who literally ignored you and ruined this family back in. Where is my sister’s logic?