Chapter 41 Jesse
Jesse
NOW
Dinner arrives in a brown paper bag, because ordering greasy food from an app on my phone seemed like a much better idea than delivering Penny a cold sandwich on a plate.
She comes downstairs as I’m plugging in the Christmas tree—an effort to give this place as much cheer as I could. With all this shit happening, it’s almost hard to even fathom that tomorrow is Christmas Eve.
Her hair is blown dry, her face bare, and sweatpants sit low on her hips with a threadbare sweatshirt on top. I don’t know if she’s ever looked so beautiful.
She lifts her nose and sniffs before her eyes go wide when they land on the fast food bag. “You are my savior! Please tell me you got french fries, too?” She opens the bag, and the smell of burgers fills the kitchen.
“I did.” I nod, and she grabs the paper-wrapped food, clutching it to her chest with a grin.
“You remembered?” She pulls my dinner from the bag, too, arranging it next to hers like we’re at a restaurant. We slide onto the kitchen island stools, and she pops a salty fry into her mouth.
“How could I forget that?” I tease, and Penny laughs sweetly. “I know you’re into health and eat green smoothies that look like seaweed…but I had a hunch that underneath it all was still the sixteen-year-old who craved a bag of fast food on rough days.”
Her smile softens, and she tucks her hair behind her ear, taking another bite. “Well, thank you. You’re not wrong.”
We take a few bites, both ravenously hungry.
“I know you’re tired, but I was wondering if you wanted to stay up with me for a bit?” I ask.
Penny turns to me, nodding with her mouth full. “I’d love that. What do you have in mind?”
“I thought we could catch up.” I shrug, knowing that sounds trivial given today.
Tank plops down next to me at the same time, waiting for a french fry to drop. Fia has ruined him.
“Catch up?” Penny asks in between bites.
“Yeah, you know, since I haven’t seen you in ten years.”
She covers her mouth, laughing.
It’s a sound that’s as beautiful as she looks. I don’t even know what we’ll talk about; all I know is that her holiday break is coming to an end soon. She has to go back to work, and I don’t want to face that. Not yet.
Tonight, Fia’s in the hospital and in good hands. There’s nothing we can do but show up tomorrow morning with her favorite bagel in tow.
But right now, in this empty house, it’s just Penny and me. The walls are down around us, and there’s nowhere left to hide.
And all I want to know about Penny is everything. I would stay up all night if it meant she just kept talking, laughing, and being the girl I fell in love with.
Penny’s laptop stays straddling her sweatpants-clad lap as she leans back against my pine headboard, pointing at a picture on the screen and turning to me, wide-eyed.
“That’s you?! I thought Fia was just fucking with me.”
Somehow, after barely ten minutes of lying in bed together, talking about only good things—Penny’s rules—we’ve landed on a website with my modeling pictures.
“I wish she was.” I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “This was for the LA Dog Benefit. But let’s move on to you. Show me your business.” I try to pry the laptop from her, but she death grips it, eyes glued to the screen.
“You dirty little whore.” She smirks, clicking through the topless photos of me posing with shelter dogs.
“It was for charity!” I gasp. I need to get these pictures erased ASAP.
“Charity for your dick?” Penny scoffs. “I bet you had dates lined up every night after this calendar went live.”
Smart-mouth.
This time, I manage to grab the computer from her hands. “Alright, you got enough.” I close out of the embarrassing pictures. “And yeah, I did have dates lined up. But I didn’t take any.”
Penny crawls over, sitting between my legs, and I fight my own body. Just the feel of her ass in my lap is making me get hard.
She is oblivious—or purposely ignoring it—and taps her nails on my hand. “It’s okay if you did. You can tell me.”
“I swear.” I cross my heart. “Unfortunately, I dated this girl in high school, total drama queen,” I say, and Penny swats at me. I grab her wrists and swivel her around to lay a kiss on her soft lips. “No one ever came close to her. It’s been a real curse.”
“I can relate.” She rolls her eyes, biting back her smile. “And fine… Two minutes of my life. That’s it,” she says and leans back into my chest as she swiftly flicks through pictures.
“Don’t skip things. I want to know everything. I want the crash course on Penny Hanson.”
She sighs, but I see the grin on the corner of her lips.
“Fine, fine. The interesting edition,” she starts, and I relax, listening to her talk. I could sit here forever if it meant hearing her voice. A voice I’ve dreamt about for the past decade.
She pulls up a picture of a pretty brunette with her arm around Penny. They have tall flutes of champagne in their hands.
“This is my best friend in the entire world—Audrey. She owns a bakery, the best in the state, probably the country. She’s really talented. She’d probably love you, unfortunately.”
I smirk, and Penny closes the laptop, crawling out of my lap so she’s facing me now.
She pulls her knees to her chest, and I rest a hand on her legs. Penny stops fidgeting when I do, a splash of pink on her cheeks.
“I got my degree in business,” she continues, running a hand through her hair. “But I fell in love with photography when I went to Paris junior year. I got lucky.” She shrugs. But I know that’s not true. I know she worked incredibly hard for everything she has.
“My Lucky Penny." I smile, and Penny rolls back into my arms.
One thing hasn’t changed about her, she’s always restless, always squirming around. I pin her in with my arms, and she exhales, melting into me again. Her fingers lightly trace idle shapes across my forearm, then they drop down and she laces her fingers through mine.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” I reply steadily.
Her thumb brushes across my knuckles, and my heart skips a beat.
“Hope. Hurt,” she says softly. “What do they mean?”
I glance down at our hands intertwined, the black ink staring back up at me. “Yeah…”
Turning my hand palm-up and curling my fingers through hers, I exhale, and she moves with my chest. “I got it years ago. My cellmate gave it to me. After I thought maybe I’d already lived the only good parts of my life.”
She doesn’t say anything.
“Hope was what I wanted to believe in. Hope that by some miracle, everything would go back to normal. That I could right my wrongs. That maybe one day, you’d forgive me.” I pause. “Hurt was how it actually felt most days.”
There’s a long moment where neither of us speaks. She’s still facing away, her back against my chest, but I know she can feel it—my heartbeat pounding against her ribs.
“And now what?” she finally asks.
I tighten my hold on her hand. “And now…you’re here in my arms.”
I hope it says enough.
She doesn’t answer, not with words. She simply lets herself be held. Then, like a switch flipping, her voice is playful again.
“Okay, it’s your turn. Any more topless modeling pictures?”
I bark a laugh, letting the weight in my chest lift for just a second. Penny does that. She finds ways to lighten the load, to make everything okay again.
“None,” I say, sliding the laptop out of reach just in case she gets any ideas. I slip a hand under her sweatshirt, unhooking her bra, hungrily kissing the side of her neck. “If you want to see me topless, you’re going to have to make it happen yourself.”
Penny doesn’t miss a beat, and before I can get out another word, she spins around, grabbing my neck with both hands.
Little vixen.
“I can do that.” She smiles wickedly, and I pull her under the sheets, ready to show her just how full of hope I am.