Chapter 42 Penny
Penny
NOW
I normally hate everything about hospitals. The beeping machines overstimulate me, the smell of antiseptic cleaners is enough to make anyone ill, and the sterile white environments are painfully void of cheer. Who designs these places anyway?
But this morning, as I walk through the hospital’s main entrance doors, none of that bothers me. My sneakers squeak almost joyfully on the polished linoleum floor as I clutch my coffee, heading straight to my sister’s room.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not on top of my game. The greasy fast food probably wasn’t a wise idea, and neither was the mere four hours of sleep I got last night. But there’s a clarity in my head that hasn’t made an appearance since I set foot in Wilmington.
And it’s Christmas Eve.
Almost my favorite day of the year.
Though nothing about this holiday season has led to a normal Christmas celebration—then again, it’s fitting in a way.
It feels like I’ve gone through a war since I left my condo in the city eight days ago, but as I see movement in the room at the end of the hallway and take a sip of my hot peppermint latte, there’s a little glimmer of hope.
The glimmer glows brighter when I stumble through the door and Fia’s sitting up in bed, a smile stretching across her face when she sees me. The IVs are removed, a hand rests on her belly, and her long hair is braided.
“Good morning, merry Christmas Eve!” I give her a light hug.
“You’re right on time!” She yawns, then her eyes go wide at the sight of the twenty-four-ounce coffee mug in my hand. “Wow…rough night?”
“Yeah, I didn’t sleep well.” I brush it off, not wanting to go into details, like Jesse keeping me up until two in the morning, his tongue ravishing every inch of my body.
Once he drifted off to sleep, I found myself caught between worry—that my sister would keep being stubborn and making reckless choices—and a sudden wave of gratitude, knowing the man beside me would keep watching over Fia when I couldn’t.
“Yeah, me neither.” Fia eyes the machines beside her. ”I hate hospitals, I can’t wait to go home and sleep in my own bed.”
They should be discharging her any minute now, so I sit on the edge of her bed, the thin sheet wrinkling under my dark jeans. “Seriously, Fia, you have no idea how relieved I am that everything is okay with you and the baby. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Fia reaches for my hand. “Me neither. We’re lucky to have you.”
My heart bounces off my stomach, and I gasp, remembering the crib. The crib that was delivered and has been sitting on the front porch since yesterday afternoon. The crib that was supposed to be her Christmas surprise.
A quick knock draws our attention to the door, and a peppy young nurse steps in with Fia’s discharge papers. I stealthily send Jesse a quick text.
Penny: Hey…feel like being a hero again today?
I hold my breath, glancing over my shoulder at Fia. It’s not the end of the world if I don’t get it built. But I really wanted to pull this off.
My phone buzzes a second later.
Jesse: Does this have something to do with the crib we forgot about?
We. I begin to type, but he beats me to it.
Jesse: I already have the box open. Shouldn’t take me long.
Penny: I owe you
Jesse: I can think of a way to repay me for my good deeds
I roll my eyes, but a mischievous smile slips onto my face. I try to wipe it away, but Fia notices, standing at my side. She scans me up and down.
“Is that Audrey?” she inquires like a pesky little sister as I drop my phone into my coat pocket.
“Yeah…” I stop myself from lying. I can’t do it anymore. Fia is an adult, and I’m not protecting anyone by keeping this a secret.
“Actually, no, it’s Jesse,” I admit, and Fia shoots me a side-eye. “I actually want to talk to you about him.”
She fidgets with her sweater. “Oh, okay. What’s up?”
A doctor and nurse walk by, chatting loudly, and even though there are phones ringing and machines beeping, it feels too quiet for this conversation.
“I’ll tell you in the car.” I pull her arm, but Fia grinds her boots into the ground.
“Is everything alright with him? Did he faint, too?”
God, Jesse is right. Us Hanson girls really are drama queens.
“No, he’s good.” Actually he’s great. “I just want to get out of the hospital. Plus, I got you a bagel, it’s in the car.”
This gets her legs moving.
The sun is just peeking in the sky as we meander through the parking lot.
I stare at my car, hoping it’s actually further away than it appears.
I’m chickening out, but I can’t walk back into that house without Fia knowing the truth.
She might vomit, she might be pissed, I have no idea. But she deserves to know.
Plus, Jesse is wearing a navy-blue sweater today that accentuates his forearms and thick tatted neck, and there’s no way I can get through the day without kisses. And ass grabs.
The car is heating up, and I pretend to fidget with something on the dash, but Fia sighs loudly beside me.
“Dude, spit it out already!”
“Fine, fine.” I stop touching the car and put my hands in my lap, twirling the stacks of gold rings on my fingers. Looking everywhere but my sister’s face. “You know how I acted odd when I found out Jesse was back?” I begin.
Fia jeers, peering out the window. “By odd, you mean you were a raging bitch?”
I snap my gaze to her, narrowing my eyes, even though she’s not wrong. “Yes. Okay, yes. I was really mad at him. And you deserve to know why.”
“I mean, I think I understand,” she says, her eyes softening as they meet mine. “He was your best friend, then he and Danny got themselves arrested, abandoning you essentially.” Fia checks out her nails like this conversation is already boring.
She won’t think so in a moment.
“Yes…but also...” I bite my lip and start to choke up. “Jesse and I…we weren’t just best friends. We were together, like together together.” I press my lips shut, waiting for her response.
Fia’s brows raise, and her mouth hangs open, but then she lets out a loud laugh.
“Why are you laughing?” I shove her shoulder, but she keeps laughing.
“I thought I was having stress hallucinations.” She covers her mouth.
“Explain yourself,” I say sternly, and Fia leans her head back, looking over at me, green eyes twinkling.
“I didn’t want to say anything, because if I was wrong, that would’ve been really awkward. But I had my suspicions. I’ve seen you around other guys, Penny, and you’ve never acted like that.”
I gape at her. “Like what!”
Fia hesitates for a minute. “So, don’t take this the wrong way...”
That doesn’t help my shoulders ease, but I continue listening.
“You’re usually relaxed, an easy flirt. But with Jesse, you were so worked up. So awkward. And mean.”
“I wasn’t awkward. Or that mean.”
“No, it all makes sense, honestly,” she continues. “I might’ve had no idea when I was a kid, but you do realize I’m twenty-one now?” She raises her eyebrows.
I sigh a little breath of relief. She’s not mad, at least she doesn’t seem like it.
“Well, now you know…. I told Danny yesterday, he kind of had the same reaction as you. Nan never knew, though.”
“First, that’s a miracle you kept it from Nan. But also, I can’t believe you felt like you couldn’t tell me. You know I wouldn’t judge you. That’s part of our sisters rule, remember?”
I nod, a stinging in my throat. “Honestly, Fi, I didn’t know how to feel when he just reappeared in my life. I was so angry at Jesse for so long. It was all part of my life plan—we were supposed to be together.”
“You and your life plan.” She rolls her eyes.
“I’m serious!”
“I know you are. But I see the way he looks at you. He almost had a stroke when you wore that miniskirt to Rebel Tavern, you know. I think I was just in denial that someone I consider a big brother was into you like that. But it all makes sense.”
My face blushes, and I toss myself forward, resting my head against the steering wheel before peeking up at my sister and her smug smile. “Okay…but you have to stop referring to him as your brother. It’s creeping me the fuck out.”
Fia scrunches up her freckled nose. “Yeah, I’ll stop, promise.”
“So this isn’t weird for you?”
“Oh, it’s totally freaking weird, but who am I to stand in true love’s way?” she says, pulling out her bagel and taking the biggest bite I’ve ever seen.
“I never said it was true love,” I mumble, feeling my face turn red.
“Hey, I’m the one who reads all the romance books, remember? I think I know true love,” she says, and I don’t argue. “Wait—since I invited Jesse to live with me, that kind of makes me a matchmaker.”
“Not even close, Fi,” I reply.
The tension in my shoulders unspools, slowly but surely, as I crank up the heat, turn on Christmas music, and leave the hospital parking lot.
I didn’t expect it to be this easy to let go of a secret I’ve carried for ten years. Or that she’d receive it with such grace.
Maybe I underestimated my sister after all.