Chapter 46 Penny
Penny
NOW
A sigh of relief rushes through my body when the paved road turns to dirt and I know I’m only minutes away from my best friend.
A year ago, Audrey traded in her life in the city for a hundred-year-old farmhouse—and a man who she never saw coming.
Every time I see her, she’s unmistakably happy, falling more and more into the version of herself she was always meant to be.
I’ve never been envious of her, only happy she found the love she deserved. But as I turn into her driveway today, driving past the large oak trees, I wonder if maybe I missed my chance.
Maybe only certain people get to have it all.
The blue front door opens, and out flies Mabel first, their bloodhound and the official greeter of the property, then Audrey. Always elegant in her cashmere sweaters. And always with an apron on, even on her days off from the bakery.
“You’re right on time.” She smiles brightly, beckoning me up the porch steps and into the warm farmhouse. “I just pulled lemon scones from the oven, and Rhett put on a fresh pot of coffee.”
Maybe I’ll just move in with them.
Rhett’s sitting at the kitchen table with his back to me as I enter the kitchen.
“Good morning, Red,” I tease, touching his shoulder. It’s an inside joke.
“Penny.” He sets down his enormous cup of coffee and stands to wrap me in a big bear hug, always smelling of fresh-cut wood.
I plop myself down at the table across from him and pull my knees to my chest, sighing dramatically. Mabel races over, placing her heavy, slobbery head in my lap. I don’t protest.
Peering down at her droopy brown eyes, I think of Tank. And I miss him.
“What’s up, did the wedding go okay last night?” Audrey asks, placing a plated lemon scone with drizzled icing in front of me. I take an enormous bite, my eyes rolling back in my head. Because like everything she bakes, it’s the most scrumptious thing I’ve ever had.
“To be honest, I was ready for this one to be done from the moment it started,” I admit.
It’s not that I don’t love my job. I created this business from the ground up.
I get paid to be witness to couples’ happiest days, documenting once-in-a-lifetime moments.
I see the look on the groom’s face before anyone else usually notices.
I see the nerves of the bride as her mother zips up the white dress, and I’m always there to reassure, to make the best of the moment, to give a little pep talk.
But last night was different.
“Oh no…what happened?” Audrey inches closer.
“The wedding was stunning, and the bride was a joy to work with.” I start on a positive note.
It was over the top, a winter wonderland at a boutique hotel downtown.
No detail left untouched. There were smiles and tears all around, and I snapped my camera from muscle memory, capturing a thousand snippets of joy.
“But…” Audrey says, grasping her coffee mug, and even Rhett is leaning in, listening.
“You know I take my work seriously.” I inhale deeply. I put every ounce of myself into building my business with the utmost professionalism. I never let my emotions get in the way, well not until last night. “But something happened last night. I was capturing the first dance, and I froze.”
Audrey crinkles her brow at me. “You froze?”
“I froze,” I say again. “I had to run to the bathroom, leaving my assistant to do the job. I couldn’t handle it.”
I spent ten minutes splashing cold water on my face, pushing the only thought from my mind.
Will that ever be Jesse and me?
“I cried during the first dance last night.” I punctuate every word.
Audrey gasps, brows raised. It’s the appropriate response. I don’t even mention how, afterward, I drove home in a daze and curled up in bed without even calling Jesse, too ashamed of how much I missed him.
“I’m lost—that sounds like a normal reaction?” Rhett says, and we both turn to glare at him.
“Rhett, why are you eavesdropping!” Audrey gapes at her boyfriend, and I drop my head into my palms.
“I never cry during the weddings I shoot. Ever.” I groan. “There’s something wrong with me, guys. I’m going to have to quit and come work at the bakery. I can work the mixer.”
Mabel nuzzles her nose into my side, clearly worried I’m in distress.
I am, girl.
My gorgeous best friend places a hand over mine.
“Did you talk to Jesse about this?” she asks, and I shake my head side to side, lifting it pathetically.
“No, no, definitely not.” I inhale sharply.
“I don’t want him to think that I can’t handle this.
We’re only four weeks in.” Cradling the warm coffee mug in one hand, I pet Mabel with the other.
“The thing is—it’s not even the distance that bothers me.
I can drive two hours in my sleep. It’s that I waited ten years for this relationship.
And now it feels like I only get bits and pieces of it. ”
Bless Audrey, she stands to bring the entire scone tray over. This calls for copious amounts of sugar and carbs, so I grab another one.
“Look at me!” I throw my hands up, crumbs falling out of my mouth. “I barged in on your lovely idyllic Saturday morning, and I’m a blubbering mess.”
Rhett laughs. “Penny, you’re family.” He stands. “But also, I’m going to go to the workshop so y’all can chat, because you already know my advice.”
“Red, we can’t all just leave the city for our man,” I grumble, but he laughs and skips out the back door.
“I want what you two have.” I flash a tiny smile at Audrey.
She stays quiet, hesitating. Probably overanalyzing every word I said until she comes up with the perfect solution.
When she opens her mouth, her voice is soft but firm. “You know, Rhett’s not wrong.”
I furrow my brows, and she exhales, tracing her fingers over a groove on the farmhouse table.
“What I’m saying is…you could move there, and almost nothing would change with your business. You already travel for most of the weddings, but your home base could be there. With him. And Fia. Your family.”
The idea is like a shock of cold water to the chest.
“But I built my life here. I have my classes, my condo…you.”
Audrey shrugs, her hazel eyes kind. “Sometimes the best things in life can’t be planned.”
Thirty minutes later, I’m hugging my best friend goodbye on her front porch.
“You sure I can’t just stay here, and avoid everything?” I ask, only half-jokingly, but she shakes her head.
“Nope. You’re going to go home, shower and change, and drive to Wilmington. You’re going to spend the day with Jesse, and you’re going to tell him the truth about how you feel. And have some amazing sex. You need to get laid.”
“First, you’re not wrong. Second, I suck at dating.” I’m getting better, but a committed relationship is still new. I feel like a fish out of water.
“You do not, it’s just new for you. Now, go on,” Audrey replies, a little twang in her voice.
I pause and look her over. “My god, Audrey, you sound like Rhett’s mother.”
Audrey gawks at me, and I smirk, waving goodbye.
I leave feeling full, buzzed on coffee, and warm. She has that effect.
I check myself out at the red light in the sun visor mirror.
My hair is messily knotted on top of my head.
I didn’t even have a chance to put on makeup this morning.
There’s a dollop of lemon zest icing on the front of Jesse’s black sweatshirt that I’ve worn for three days straight, and the pink rainboots I slipped on are obnoxiously bright.
It’s fine. It’s all fine.
If I’m really fast, I can shower, change, pack an overnight bag, and be in Wilmington by noon. Well, noon-ish. Jesse has a training seminar tomorrow, so I’ll hang out with Fia. If she’s not working.
It’ll give me less than twenty-four hours with him, but I don’t care. I just need to hold him. I need to see his face, to know this is all still real.
There’s a coveted street spot outside my building, and I snag it, parking haphazardly, but I’ll be quick. My heart pounds in my chest as my limbs carry me straight to the elevator. Floor three. I press the button hard. Then again, three more times for good measure.
Is this crazy? Maybe I should give him a heads-up that I’m coming. I thought it was romantic, but what if he’s busy and then I’m a burden? I pull out my phone, staring at a photo of him as my background. I can’t get myself to text him.
Fuck.
This isn’t a good plan. I can’t go. We said we’d do things casually, and this is borderline neurotic.
But then again, I threw casual out the window when I told him I loved him.
The elevator doors ding open, and I start down the hallway, my boots squeaking as I speed walk down the polished cement corridor, still unsure what I’m going to do.
My throat’s growing hot and tight with each step. Why do I have to be like this? Why does love have to be so complicated? Why did he have to move back and steal my heart and consume every fragment of my mind?
I fuss with my purse, digging for my keys.
“Penny?”
My head snaps up at the sound of my name, and I stop right in my tracks.
Leaning against my front door, tall, brooding, and impossibly handsome, is Jesse. A smirk softens his beautifully chiseled face.
My throat stops restricting my breath as I take slow, cautious steps toward him. His stare is relentless, never leaving me as I near.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, embarrassingly winded.
Jesse smiles, his green eyes glistening. That’s when I look down and notice a small black duffel bag by his feet. My lips start to pull to the side.
“I missed you.” His voice is husky, vulnerable. He says it so matter-of-factly, no shame in it.
“Oh…” I take another step forward, mindlessly touching my messy hair.
“I know we have a whole weekend together in two weeks, but I figured I had”—he holds up his wrist, pretending to look at a watch that’s not there—“the next eighteen hours free.”
“And you wanted to spend them with me?” I ask, taking another step forward, closing the gap between us.
Jesse leans down, lifting my face to his with a tattooed knuckle. “Princess, I thought I made it pretty damn clear. I want every hour of every fucking day with you.”
My heart lurches in my chest, and I want nothing more than to push that door open behind him and strip every layer off between us. But I shake my head.
“But you said…we could do this…this long distance thing.”
Jesse throws back his head and lets out a throaty chuckle.
“Yeah, I said that because I thought I could do it. But you’ve sunk your claws into me.
Maybe that makes me a weak man, Penny, but I hate not being with you.
I hate coming home and not hearing your laugh.
I hate not seeing the house full of random pink items. I’m trying, but I’m not sure how to do life without you anymore. ”
“It’s only been four weeks,” I reason, even though every word out of his mouth is making my knees buckle.
Jesse bites his lip. “I told you, you’ve fully messed me up, and I’ve let you.”
I laugh now, and Jesse’s smile comes back. The most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.
“I have a confession. I was on my way home to pack a bag and come to you,” I whisper, scrunching my nose, and he grins wider.
I push Jesse aside to unlock my front door and grab his hand, dragging him over the threshold of my condo.
The first guy I ever let into my heart.
The first guy I ever let into my home.
And if I’m truly as lucky as he claims…he’ll be the last.