Chapter 32
Lucy
Bruised knees. Red thighs. Legs so sore they quake when I come.
The time I've spent with Noah, Silas and Mateo has changed me. The aching, exhausted muscles I walk around with half the time make me feel alive. The pleasure and pain are so intertwined at this point, I could say which I enjoy more.
It's not to say we don't have lazy Saturdays. Sleepy sex is just as good as the kind that shatters my soul, because it's with them .
But tapping into my anxious nature, using it, rewiring my mind's natural chemical response to danger and fear, is fundamentally changing me. I still get anxious. Often, and sometimes for no reason at all. And I know I'll have times when I spiral, and revert into myself and try all my coping mechanisms to get me out. Breathing exercises, going for a run, hiding under my weighted blanket.
But I'm changing. The big freak outs are less frequent. And the little stuff doesn't get to me as much as it did before.
And I have the guys to thank for that.
What I didn't realize is that they're only just getting started.
Hand in hand, Noah and I traipse through the beautiful moon-lit courtyard of their friend, Chase's estate. He's apparently one of the owners of Atrium and owns several properties around the state.
It shouldn't be surprising all these wealthy, mysterious men are connected through a sex club, but it is. I find it amusing at the very least.
But there's nothing funny about this property. I was a little shocked that it took Silas and Noah almost no effort to convince Mateo to take a couple of days off from work.
The chateau that rests on the top of the hill of the estate is surrounded by rose bushes. It's small, only a couple of bedrooms, but the high ceilings, built-in all-wood fireplace and low lit chandeliers make it feel grand. Calling it a ski lodge feels disrespectful given its beauty, though I'm sure when the hills out here are packed with snow, it likely fulfills that purpose as well.
The rose bushes continue along the back of the property, following a stone path, past a gazebo leading a trail into the woods.
Noah and I pass the treeline, and after several steps in, the forest floor grows dark. As if we'd stopped into another dimension, much like my first night at Atrium, one moment we're on some wealthy strangers estate, the next, we belong to the forest.
The cacophony of crickets, creatures and crunching leaves beneath our feet blend with our stilted breath. The forest floor, bathed only in moonlight, becomes easier to see as our eyes adapt. As promised, the trail is clear of roots and debris, but it doesn't take away from the chilling feeling of being out here like this.
"It's such a beautiful night," Noah remarks.
I squeeze his hand tighter. "There's no place I'd rather be."
He smiles, and though I can't see it perfectly, I can feel his happiness. His contentment.
Noah was the one who took me aside and told me about this thing that existed… this elaborate scene, taking what I'd felt all along in small bursts into a fully formed experience.
I was thrilled. I'd had zero reservations.
And while I'm still fully on board with being chased through the woods, walking like this, hand in hand amongst nature shrouded in darkness, it all feels a little too real.
It's exhilarating, and a tiny bit terrifying, my pulse vibrating throughout my body in heavy thumps. My heart beat picks up the further we walk and a loud crack! likely from a tree branch has me jumping in place. If not for the well-worn path, I might believe we're completely lost in the middle of the woods late at night.
"Remember, you're in control."
I smirk, tilting my head to look up at Noah. "I know my safe word."
"It's the last I'll say of it. And remember, Mateo won't even ask. That's the whole point."
To make it real.
"I'm ready."
The more time passes the more complacent we get, relaxed in each other's company. Until a thud has me sucking in a breath, excitement and fear firing through my veins.
Thud, thud, crack , like someone's running nearby, breaking twigs, feet pounding into the hard dirt.
More footfalls but from the left, behind us. Their heavy gate scares the animals, a rush of chirping and scuttling hurry past us. My anxiousness takes root, fluttering in my belly, crawling up my throat.
Another rush and Noah turns to me, pupils blown wide and rasps, " Run ."
It all becomes so real, too real, as I sprint, running through the path, deeper into the woods. Noah runs beside me and I can hear his rapid breath, and it intensifies the fear.
I have one job to do and that's to run . I can run, I'm great at running. But I almost feel like I'm trapped in a dream or a nightmare, and no matter how fast I pump my legs, I don't seem to get far fast enough. Noah runs beside me, then he clutches my t-shirt sleeve and points to where the path veers off. Away from the closest chasing footsteps—towards the second set, though those are further away.
"Over here," I whisper frantically, pointing to another veer off the beaten down path as we dart in another direction. The maze-like structure of the trail only fuels my adrenaline.
A shadow flies through the trees beside me, and my steps halt, so fast I nearly fall forwards. Noah notices and slows down, indecision warring on his face, but then a large figure jumps out of the tree line and tackles Noah, gripping his hair, pulling it back so his neck bares open, long and vulnerable.
I scream and turn to run, when another figure, dressed in all black, with a ski mask over his head, is on me.
The terror feels real now. I scream, and buck against him. His large body completely overpowers mine and my panties flood, arousal burning through me.
His legs cover mine but I kick out fast, and he doesn't hold back, gripping and forcing me into submission. I don't let him, and my knees scrape against the dirt, palms filthy. An idea forms and before I even process it, I dig my fingers into a pile of leaves and debris and toss it into his face.
Distracted, he shakes it off and I take advantage, squirming out from under him, but I don't get more than a couple of feet when he catches my leg and I fall face first.
I kick out and scream, but the harder I fight, the harder he pushes.
We struggle in place, but his impatience wins, holding me down with all his strength, my legs pinned beneath his knees, and he tears at my shirt. It splits open, baring my breasts and I keep squirming and fighting and crying out, "No! Please don't hurt me!"
Mateo's voice transforms, deep and growling, "Be still, pretty girl. This will go a lot easier for you if you just behave."
His hands roughly grip my breasts, pinching my nipples and I half-moan in pleasure and pain.
My bra comes off next, his fingers having no patience for straps—he tugs the cups off me and rips them apart, and the whole thing tears open, and I'm fully exposed to the warm night air.
"There's a pretty girl. No need to be scared. This won't hurt. Much."
"Please. Please," I whimper. "I have a family. I have—"
My words are cut off with his palms gripping my throat. I choke and he eases off, but only slightly.
"What you have is a pretty pink tight pussy—" then he leans in close to my ear, voice full of gravel and promise, "and I'm going to destroy it."
His hands fly to my pants and he rips the leggings from the inseam, exposing my pussy, like a wicked, depraved animal.
I'm soaked, so turned on it fucking hurts, but I keep fighting and yelling no . My nails scratch at his chest and I don't hold back, knowing I'm breaking the skin, imagining twin tracks of bleeding red.
He's feral when he growls,"You're going to pay for that."
My body is suddenly airborne and I'm flipped onto my stomach. Me leggings are torn indecently at the center, and my underwear goes next, before he tugs the rest of the material clean off my legs. I kick out each time one gets free, and he shoves my torso down into the ground.
I grunt, inhaling earth, mossy greens and leaves, neck torqued at an awkward angle. The fight disappears the moment he notches his head at my entrance and without any preparation, plunges in, though there's no resistance. It feels like he's feeding my soul, and I'm so wet, dripping down my thighs, loving every push and pull of his cock.
He's not slow or gentle. I'm eating dirt, forehead rubbing into the hard packed ground, getting fucked, pounded into oblivion. Mateo grips my hips, holding them like handles, and with blunt force, uses my body like a ragdoll.
All I can do is take it.
The rhythmic sounds of his hips bruising my ass, skin slapping, heavy grunts is interrupted by a roar and I glance up, seeing Silas, also in a black ski mask, though he's lost his pants, battering into Noah's ass.
I clench at the sight, and Mateo responds, gripping my ponytail, wrenching my head back.
"You like seeing your boyfriend get pounded like that?"
He tugs again, the hairs pulling sharp against my scalp. His thrusts slow, pulling my neck close to his lips. "Answer me, pretty girl."
On a strangled cry, the fear and excitement wars with my need to get off, and I rasp, "Yes." Desperately, yes . His heavy cock sits inside of me, and I squeeze my walls around him, silently begging him to move, to keep fucking me. He abruptly lets go of my hair, shoving me forward again and I'm pinned down by his limbs as he pulls back then slams forward.
There's no respite this time, the filthy, explicit wet sounds of our bodies meeting joins the forest symphony. Pleasure and pain. Sex, love, terror, the remaking of us.
I work with him, as much as I can pinned down, making small, undulating movements with my hips, and he cants his pelvis, hitting my g-spot. The build up starts low in my belly, every fiber of my being pulled taut.
Mateo fucks me into the ground and I'm flush with the earth. His hands turn from brutal and callous to ravenous. His fingers seek my nipples, pinching, grasping, squeezing my breasts.
And when I can't take it anymore, he tucks his arm beneath my stomach, pulls me closer, and I come hard.
"Oh fuck, yes, that's it, squeeze me just like that. You're such a good girl coming on my—uh, unh yes fuck !" Mateo grunts, and warmth floods within me.
Out of breath, he collapses onto my back and we pant in sync, while I try to remember what year it is.
Mateo climbs off me, and falls onto his back, laughing up into the starry night sky.
I admire him for all of a minute before a second dark figure looms over me.
Silas has his hand gripped around the nape of Noah's neck. His lip is bleeding, a look of pure euphoria painting his face.
"Get on your knees," he tells Noah, who immediately complies.
Noah winks, but it's his only break in scene. Silas kneels down in a squat, grips my wrists and pulls me up to a seat. His cock, half-hard when he walked over here, swings up from between his legs. I watch as it bobs, growing harder. I can't take my eyes off it. Thick and proud, it shudders all on its own, like it's asking, no, begging for more.
Silas reaches forward and grips the back of my neck the same way he held Noah into submission, like we're bad kittens.
I glance over and Mateo's sitting up again, still also half-naked, stroking his cock back to life.
I'm tired. But my safe word is so far in the back of my mind I don't even think about using it.
"That's it?" I sass.
I wish I could see his facial expression, his and Mateo's, beneath the masks.
"Oh, you are a very, very bad girl."
Shifting his grip on my hair, he shoves me forward. I scramble, intending to fight, but my body is limp and useless against him. Silas shoves his fingers into my pussy, scooping out our come, then picks me up and with shocking ease, lowers me right down onto Mateo once more.
The only warning I get is when he shoves his wet fingers full of mine and Mateo's come into my ass, replacing them with his cock and breaches my entrance.
" Fuuuck !" I gasp, the intrusion so intense with Mateo already inside me.
Silas turns to Noah while balls deep in my ass, "I told you if you behaved, you'd get a treat."
Noah's grin tells me nothing, but my brain can't process much. Until I hear some shuffling of clothes, Silas stilling at my back and somehow, even facing Mateo, with Silas behind me, I can feel Noah entering Silas.
He starts slow, I can tell by the way the thrusting changes pace. The first orgasm was a claiming.
The next, which is impossible to prolong or contain, is a monument of devotion to my three lovers. The four of us connected, I come first, and a third time when Mateo slips his fingers between us and thumbs my clit. I come all over him, and I'm shaking against him, my ass and pussy squeezing their cocks.
Mateo comes next followed by Silas, who climaxes with a deafening roar. He bucks and shivers against me, warm come filling me and though he falls onto my back, arms wrapped protectively around me, he's still moving against me as Noah grunts and comes in Silas's ass.
We're a filthy, wicked, sweaty pile of sex.
I'm sore. And so, so tired. The adrenaline crashes within me and I think I black out.
I don't know who's carrying me at first, but my eyes flutter open, and I find I'm tucked protectively into Mateo's warm chest, held by his strong arms.
When we get back to the chateau, Mateo carefully lowers me into the hot tub at the back of the house. Noah's right behind me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, holding me close. We huddle together, processing silently, while Silas and Mateo get drinks for us, joining us minutes later.
I look up into Noah's beautiful hazel eyes, then flick his lip.
"You're bleeding."
He grins so wide. "He's a savage kisser."
I laugh, then curl back into him. It's a beautiful night and I fall asleep for good, relieved we don't have to leave for a couple of days. If this is what my future looks like, then it was worth every single heartache to get here.