Chapter 33
Lucy
"Hang on, baby, you gotta be patient," Silas whispers against my ear.
I squeeze my hands in a gimmie! gesture. He throws his head back, laughs, and then gripes, "Alright, fine, you win."
He pushes the birthday present towards me and I tear into the paper, then rock back on my heels and gasp. "Oh, Silas. This is…"
It's not just my portrait—it's ethereal. He painted me, but I look so… haunting but beautiful. I can't believe he sees me this way.
"Do you like it?" He asks cautiously after I realize I stopped speaking. Because I'm speechless .
"Silas, it's incredible. This is amazing. Like, it belongs in a museum."
"You're right, it does," Noah agrees, hugging me from behind while we admire the painting.
It's my portrait, and it is realistic, but the colors he used, the way he almost hid me in a forest amongst the trees, a private nod to our time at the chateau upstate. I look like a witch of the woods but like, in a hot way.
A flash breaks our concentration, and I look up and groan at Mateo. "Did you just use flash?" I whine.
"What?" He shrugs.
"Oh my god. Who hurt you?" I get up out of Noah's lap and steal Mateo's phone. Sure enough, he took the world's ugliest picture of me and Noah.
I may have decided to continue working as an influencer with the caveat that I'd wear makeup and use filters if I felt like it, but all my posts would be honest and real, no matter what.
But a picture with flash?
A step too far. I delete it, change the camera settings, and hand it back to him. "Here you go, my love, even you can take a decent picture now."
He taps the button, but the look on his face makes me skeptical that he pulled it off. That's okay. Good or bad, I'll share it regardless.
That was part of the deal I made with myself when I went back online—more unfiltered honesty.
Months have passed, and Delaney kept her word; I've not heard a peep. And since the guys and I were technically outed, I made a post—after turning off the comments on that particular one—and admitted I was in a poly relationship and that while it wasn't anyone's business, since I was a public figure, I decided to be honest about it and maybe once in a while share anecdotes to help normalize relationships like ours.
Some DM's and comments were bad. Mean and troll-like and really disgusting.
A lot were supportive, incredible, and kind. I was shocked how many people told me they secretly dreamed of being in one or were in one but didn't feel comfortable coming out about it, and they thanked me for going public.
It felt good to share my truths, and on days when I couldn't fake my smile, I didn't, or I just didn't produce content.
When I told the guys I decided to keep my job as an influencer, I'm not sure if I expected some grand reaction, but none of them were surprised. Not the guys, or my friends.
After our first brunch back after Cara was arrested, Mary-Anne ominously announced, "And then there were three." While it was funny and kind of sad, it felt good closing ranks and working together, sharing and helping with each other's platforms in a way we hadn't before when Delaney and Cara were a part of our group.
Mary-Anne and I helped Portia with her long-planned photoshoot, where I took pictures of her without makeup on in a ridiculous threadbare Mickey Mouse pajama set she'd owned since she was a teenager. I didn't feel like taking my picture without makeup was a massive statement, though when she first brought the idea up several weeks earlier, the concept was terrifying. But it was a big deal for her and Mary-Anne and I cheered her on the whole time.
Since then, I've made several posts and videos, though my production is nowhere near what it used to be. I lost a lot of followers, but almost a million people started following me for drama I was intent on avoiding, so I was fine with that.
Praise for my honesty about my relationship and my struggles with my mental health were abundant, though there were negative comments as well. But I was determined to maintain balance, read comments less, and let the hate roll off my back. People who wrote mean things about me didn't know me. They probably thought about me for only the few seconds it took to type their comment, forgotten once they scrolled onto the next person.
I also kept my notifications off except for texts from the guys or my friends, and when I posted pictures or videos, I put my phone away so I wouldn't be tempted to obsess. It took practice, but I'm pretty used to it now.
"Oh my god, this is terrible," I squeal when I steal Mateo's phone back, texting myself the picture he took. It's somehow out of focus, even though the camera does that for you. It's also off-center, but not in a good way.
"Dude, do you know nothing about composition?" Silas muses, taking Mateo's phone from me, then pushing me back into Noah's waiting arms. "Say cheese, bitches."
To my surprise, Mateo leans down into the picture with us. However the picture comes out, this one's getting printed and hung on the wall.
The start of our life together was a little rocky, but nothing worth having comes easy. Noah, Silas, Mateo… this is my found family and they're the loves of my life.
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