Chapter 4
FOUR
As I opened my eyes in the blackness, doom consumed me. Regret crippled me and all that was left to do was stare into the darkness. Nothing made sense at the moment.
Keanu rested peacefully beside me while I laid silently in an uproar. My naked body clung to the sheet as my temperature rose and panic began to sit in. How my night had ended with Keanu’s semen swimming inside of me when it had started with Collin, I had no idea.
What have I done? I asked myself, afraid to move a muscle.
This wasn’t just anyone laying beside me.
It was Ken, my childhood friend and both of my brothers’ best friend.
If either of them ever discovered the night of passion that we’d just had, we’d be toast. While Keanu probably didn’t give a damn, I cared.
I cared a fucking lot. Too much, probably.
I glanced at the digital clock on the wall noting that it was 4:30 a.m. Time had flown.
It felt like an hour ago when Keanu and I were showering and using all our strength to climb in bed.
It was a task. A very difficult task because we were both beyond exhausted and drained from the multiple orgasms we’d had.
The way that he could cum and still keep going had blown my mind completely and kept me aroused far beyond my limit. That’s why my pussy was still throbbing after what I’d endured the final and fourth round. He was a machine, one that I’d love to ride every chance I got but it wasn’t that simple.
In fact, it would never be that simple. As good as his dick was, it would be a problem – one that I hadn’t fully considered before sending him a message three months ago. Yet, as I lay beside him, it was all I could think about.
Oh, Luca. I’d let him down, again.
Laike. I cringed at the thought of disappointing him.
I can’t. I finalized quickly. I can’t break their hearts.
I wouldn’t. Neither of them deserved any more grief from my poor decisions when it came to love.
I’d caused my family enough pain. I needed a way out, and I needed some retail therapy.
It was going to take the best holy oil and a lot of trips to the mall to get over the dick that I’d just gotten.
But, I could. I had no other choice, except…
Collin. I relaxed a little, remembering his offer.
Shuffling at the thought of my newfound solution, I searched around for my phone.
I bumped Keanu’s firm frame in the process, causing my pussy to cream and my mouth to water.
He was that good at what he did. I wanted him back inside of me, but my pussy was begging for a break and so was my head.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” Keanu groaned, pulling me closer to him.
Just as I’d imagined, our bodies fit like two matching puzzle pieces. We were frustratingly perfect. I sighed at the realization of it all.
“What’s the matter?” He yawned.
“We can’t do this,” I rushed out. “I can’t do this.”
“Man, take your ass to sleep, Lyric. It’s already done.”
“We had sex. That’s it. Nothing is already done.”
“We had sex. That’s it?” Keanu scoffed.
“Yes.”
“Keep talking crazy, and I’m going to put my dick in your mouth.”
“Keanu, I’m serious.”
“So am I. Lay your ass down. It’s too early for this shit.”
“I’m going to tell him yes,” I blurted.
“Tell who yes? What are you talking about?”
“Collin. Last night, he asked if I’d be his girlfriend. I told him I needed time, but I don’t. He’s good for me. We’re good for each other. I’m going to tell him yes.”
Chuckling while releasing me from his hold, Keanu shifted in bed. He turned his back in my direction while hugging the pillow. He was extremely amused, somehow angering me. His nonchalant demeanor made my head throb and my girl downstairs followed suit.
“I’m serious.”
“Ummm. Hmmm.”
“I’m going to be in a relationship now. So, this, this between us, can’t happen.”
Whipping his body around, Keanu lifted his top half. I couldn’t see him in the darkness of the early morning, but I could feel his eyes on me.
“You want a reaction out of me, so here’s one.
Here’s a piece of advice for you. If agreeing to be his girlfriend makes you feel better then do it.
If agreeing to be his girlfriend makes you feel better then, then do it.
But it’ll never undo what has been done between us.
As long as you with that nigga, stay the fuck away from me, aight? ”
“See, that’s why I didn’t want to do this. I’ve been around you my entire life. What do you mean stay away from you?”
“I mean what the fuck I said,” he gritted.
“I’m not about to watch you go through life miserable and unhappy when the nigga you really want, the nigga you really love is willing and ready to give you the moon and the stars.
I’m ready to give you what I don’t even think I have to give but have every intention of learning to give.
So, yeah, stay away from me. We still good but keep that shit far away from me. ”
“You’re only proving my point, Keanu. We can’t do this. You’re telling me to stay away from you because I’m agreeing to be someone’s girlfriend to save my family and us both some heartache?”
“Fuck your brothers, Lyric. I love them niggas dearly but when it comes to you, it’ll be fuck everybody forever if that’s what loving you requires.
What about your heartache? Huh? What about what and who you want?
Do you ever take that into consideration?
Or are you always worried about the next motherfucker? ”
“I’ve seen where my feelings can lead this family. I don’t want that for them.”
“Aight,” he finalized with what I assume was a shrug.
“Alright?”
I wasn’t sure why but I didn’t want him to end the conversation with that.
I wanted him to convince me that we deserved a chance.
I wanted him to keep fighting for what I knew could be the greatest love story ever told.
I wanted him to forbid me from seeing Collin and any other man alive.
He didn’t. He simply fluffed the pillow and laid back down.
“Yeah. Aight.”
“You don’t have nothing else to say?”
“Play house with that as long as you want but if you give that nigga my pussy, it’s going to be a fucking problem. For both of you.”
Frustrated, I fluffed the pillow underneath me, turned my back towards Keanu, and rested my head on it.
My feelings were all up in the air. On one hand, I was madly obsessed and in love with the man lying next to me but on the other hand, I knew that our union would cause problems for my family. I didn’t want that.
I felt the bed shift and a second later, I could feel Keanu’s breath on my face. He hung over me, head dangling in the air. I waited for him to say something, anything.
“I love you, Lyric.” His words pierced me, lifting small painful bumps from my skin.
“I’m in love with you, Lyric. I have been for a long fucking time.
Just been waiting to actually love you. There isn’t a woman in this world that can say that I’ve ever loved them.
I reserved that for you because only you could have my heart.
“Now that I’m here, you’re telling me you’d rather give what’s mine to the next nigga and that shit got me tight.
I don’t give a fuck about nothing and you know that.
But you, I give two fucks. You’re being unfair to me, but I wasn’t built to beg a motherfucker to do shit they aren’t willing to do on their own.
So, if telling that nigga yes is what you want to do then do it.
But know that you’re simultaneously telling me no. ”
Scoffing, I covered my eyes with my hands and sighed deeply.
This was far too complicated. There was no denying the fact that I wanted Keanu but neither was there any denying the fact that I wanted to make my family proud of my choices surrounding love for once.
I had to redeem myself. Collin was my redemption.
“Lose that fucking attitude, aight? You’re the one breaking my heart with this bullshit. I’m not breaking yours.”
His lips landed on my top set as his fingers caressed the bottom set.
“You broke mine first,” I reminded him, spreading my legs wider.
As exhausted as my body was, I couldn’t resist him. The darkness concealed his face, but I felt him near. His fingertips grazed my skin as I felt his tongue on my right nipple. Then, my left. Then, my right again.
“You need to get on birth control.”
He slid into me effortlessly. I craved him, making it hard to turn off my faucet with him near.
He aroused me to the point of no end. His influence on my body was irrational.
I couldn’t imagine encountering him from this point on and not obsessing over how good his dick felt inside of me but I’d try my hardest. I had to.
“This is our last timmmmme.”
“Not even you believe that shit,” he countered, covering my mouth shortly after while stroking me long and gently.
This is insane. He was too damn good at this.
I returned from the shower to find my bed empty and made. With my robe wrapped around me, I exited my second bedroom in search of Keanu. I kept my legs slightly gapped to relieve the pressure I felt below. I’d need a day or two to heal from his girth and skill.
“Keanu?” I called out after realizing he wasn’t in the kitchen.
I checked every room downstairs, including the garage, but he was nowhere to be found. When I checked my front door and noticed the lock had been twisted, it hit me like a sack of bricks. He’s gone.
It was almost six in the morning and the sun had started to ascend. Its glow touched my skin when I opened the door and looked around to see if there was any chance Keanu had decided to just get some fresh air. He wasn’t there.
He’s gone.
My heart twisted into a large knot at the realization, leaving me paralyzed and unable to move – unable to think and unable to comprehend. He’d left. Me.