Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
A mother. The revelation continued to circulate in my head. The chilliness of the room coupled with my nervousness caused trembling hands and legs as I sat on the long, disposable sheet of paper that covered the bed.
A mother. The thought crossed my mind again as I looked over to Keanu who had his head planted in a pamphlet.
He’d grabbed every one in sight as we passed through the waiting room on the way to the back.
As soon as we entered the door and checked in, we were called to the back.
The fact that it was his aunt’s personal practice, there was no waiting for us.
We’d only been in the room for five minutes and already there was a knock at the door.
“Knock. Knock,” Brandi, Keanu’s aunt, announced her entry. She pulled gloves from the box on the wall and put them on both hands.
“What’s up, Auntie?” Keanu greeted her.
“Hi, son. Lyric,” she called my name, turning her head in my direction.
“Good afternoon.”
“You look stunning, per usual,” she complimented.
“Thanks.”
“So, we’re having a baby?”
Her smile was contagious. It was quite obvious she was attempting to contain her excitement, but the suppression was obvious in her clutched fists and wide eyes.
“Seems that way,” I responded with a nod.
“Nervous any?”
“A lot. It has been a full twenty four hours since we’ve discovered the pregnancy, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all.”
“You, Ken?”
Poised and seemingly unfazed, he responded, “I’m cool.”
His aunt immediately turned to face me again, and we both shared a knowing stare. Keanu was saving face. Just like me, he was all nerves and questions.
“So, today, we’re going to get you an ultrasound to see how far along you are. According to your chart, you missed your last period and possibly the one before but you’re not certain.”
“Correct. I used to write it all down, but I haven’t for the last six or so months so it’s a bit foggy.”
“That’s completely fine. We know that you’re at least a full month along, and we can figure out the rest with measurements and visible progress of the baby from the ultrasound. Anything you’re hoping for? Girl, boy?”
“Girl,” both Keanu and I said simultaneously.
“Okay. At least you two are on the same page with the gender.”
“But, of course, we’ll be satisfied with a boy, too. My best friend just birthed a baby boy. They’ll be a few months apart.”
“Well, it works out, then,” she replied.
“Perfectly.”
“Alright. I want you to lay back for me. I’m going to check you out and try to get an estimate of how far along you are according to your cervix. Then, I’ll confirm with the ultrasound.”
I rested my back on the bed that she lowered for me.
When I was flat on my back, she assisted me in propping my legs up so that she had a clear shot of my bare pussy.
After the intense session Keanu and I had a few hours prior, I was praying the bath I’d taken cleared any trace of him from my insides.
I winced as two fingers were inserted as far as they were able to go.
“Relax for me,” Brandi commanded.
Obliging, I exhaled and relaxed my body as best I could. Seconds later, she was pulling her fingers out and standing. I watched as she removed the gloves she’d put on when she entered the room.
“Marking your territory, huh?” she glanced at Keanu and asked.
The color drained from my skin at the realization that she was indeed referring to his remnants that were still swimming inside of me.
“Yeah, to make sure I keep you in business,” he joked.
“Well. They say once you pop the fun doesn’t stop.” Brandi chuckled.
“They know what they’re talking about,” he ended with.
Brandi toyed with the machine next to me, causing it to make beeping noises before her attention returned to me.
“Okay, I’m going to put this gel on your stomach. Don’t worry, it’s warm. According to my observation, you’re between six and seven weeks. Let’s see what the ultrasound gives us.”
The warm gel was squirted onto my stomach, followed by a loud whooshing sound. Keanu stood to his feet and made his way over to me. On the opposite side of Brandi, he stood next to me with his hands on the bed beside me.
“Here we go,” she announced, “a tiny little peanut.”
I twisted my neck until I was able to see the screen and whatever she was pointing at. She tapped a few more buttons and before I knew it, the most beautiful sound filled the room. My eyes burned from the fresh, salty tears that glossed them over.
Unlike the sound of my heart, the baby’s reminded me of galloping horses from the stables I visited monthly as a child to ride. The indescribable, incredible sound of life inside of me streaked my cheeks with tears. A mother. I simply couldn’t let go of the thought.
“We have such a strong heartbeat. Very beautiful. Very healthy,” Brandi confirmed.
“Damn.” The adoration on Keanu’s face birthed a smile on mine.
Though we weren’t even close to being in a good space, this moment meant more of the same for us both. Hearing our child’s heartbeat for the first time was like magic. It was better than any sound I’d ever heard over the span of my life. Over and over, rapidly, it beat and beat and beat.
“Seven weeks. Two days. Not far from the two month mark at all. I’m taking a few more measurements and some glamour shots for our little one and then you guys can go about your day.
I’ll reschedule you for a visit in four weeks.
Everything looks fine. Get plenty of rest and try your hardest not to stress about anything.
The first twelve weeks are the most crucial for first-time mothers. ”
“Plenty of rest and low stress. Got it,” I replied, wiping the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand and part of my sleeve.
“You hungry?” Keanu asked for the third time since we’d awakened.
“Keanu, we ate before our appointment,” I quickly reminded him.
“Just making sure you’re not ready to eat again.”
“If I eat anything more, I promise it’ll be all over your seats and floor,” I warned.
“That’s what detail shops were created for.”
“I’m not hungry, Keanu,” I assured him.
Just as I did, his cell phone rang. The music stopped being that it was playing through his Bluetooth connection. Quietly, I occupied myself with my cell.
“Yeah?” he answered.
I couldn’t hear what the person on the other end was saying, but Keanu quickly followed up with words that exposed the other caller.
“You and Laike?”
He paused briefly.
“Yeah. I’m handling some business right now, but I can meet you niggas at the gym at four.”
There was another pause.
“A hundred dollars? Nigga, do you hear yourself? That’s a poor man’s come up. I can’t do shit with that. Bring ten stacks. Two per game and then we have a bet.”
Keanu’s chuckle was infectious. His teeth weren’t hiding behind those pretty golds he wore often. The pearly whites were on full display. As he tossed his head back in laughter, my centerpiece oozed.
“You sounding really fucking broke right now. Stop having so many fucking kids and maybe you can keep some of that money you’re making in your pocket.”
With a shake of the head, Keanu ended the call a few seconds later.
I could feel him gazing at my cheek as I scrolled my Instagram feed.
Posting as of lately just wasn’t in my interest. Life was kicking my ass and faking it wasn’t for me.
When I felt better – mentally, emotionally, and physically – I’d share some visuals.
Until then, scrolling was satisfying enough.
“It’s time we let them in.”
“I know.” I sighed, locking the screen of my phone.
“Maybe we could put together a dinner or something for tomorrow night. Shit, maybe even meet at Oat + Olive. Really, we could tell them tonight. I can get the niggas there if you’d just show up,” he suggested.
“Telling my brothers I’ve been fucking and am now pregnant by their best friend in a public setting… are you even thinking right now? Do you hear yourself, Keanu? How well do you think that will go?”
He responded with a shrug. “Dinner, then?” he asked a few seconds later. “At my place tomorrow?”
“Too soon, Keanu.”
“When you trying to tell these niggas? At the fucking baby shower?” The annoyance in his voice resembled what I felt inwardly.
“Here you are obsessing over this once again. I’m not saying that we have to wait even a few weeks to tell them.
I am simply asking for a chance to let it soak in for us both.
We just found out, Keanu. We don’t have to run and tell anyone.
I haven’t even told Ever or my mother. I know you’re thinking I just don’t want to tell them but at this point, I don’t give a fuck about them knowing. I don’t.”
“But, let me digest it first. I’m not even asking for a full week.
Just give me a few days to wrap my head around it and you can plan whatever it is you want.
I’ll be there, and I’ll be ready to tell them.
At this point, it is what it is. There’s no more running or hiding because in about two months, I won’t be able to conceal my growing belly. I won’t attempt to, either.
“The faster we let them in, the better both of our lives will be. I just wish things never ended. They’d know and a baby announcement wouldn’t be overshadowed with their disappointment.
I can’t stomach it right now. But I know that they’re human and it’s only right to feel a way about this all – especially with a baby involved. ”
Keanu said nothing. He simply nodded his head, agreeing with what had come from my mouth. The music continued to play in the background until I realized it was his home and not mine that he was taking me to. I wasn’t ready to be there.
“I want to go home, Keanu,” I expressed.
“This is home.”