Chapter 17 #2
“My home. Take me to my house. Two days, a baby, and a few rounds of sex will not fix what’s been broken between us.
I don’t mind working towards mending things but it won’t happen overnight.
The last thing I want to do is fall into the routine of us, again, burying everything that happened before addressing it.
The last time I was at your house, you made it clear that I was an immature, entitled thorn in your side. Four weeks haven’t changed that.”
“I didn’t mean that shit and you know it. I was just upset, Lyric.”
“Well, I happened to take it to heart and it isn’t as easy as taking it back. I understand that I have some work to do and before we begin this thing, I want the opportunity to do so.”
“You’re going to make this difficult, huh?”
“Am I making this difficult or am I holding you accountable for your actions and your words?” I asked him.
“Holding me accountable,” he admitted, making the necessary turns to get to my home and further from his.
“So, please don’t put the blame on me. You did this, Keanu, not me.”
“I know. I know. I know,” he repeated, shaking his head. “I’ve been kicking my own ass ever since.”
“Please, just take me home.”
“Come over for dinner, tonight,” he told me.
“I’ll try.”
“I don’t need you to try, Lyric. I need you to get here. I’m not asking you to stay the night, but come at eight. I can’t go too many more nights without you in my bed where you belong. I’m ready and I’m willing to work night and day to fix what I’ve broken, but I need your cooperation.”
“I’m not trying to be difficult, malicious, or a bad sport.
But I can’t just overlook the things that were said to me or the way you treated me.
It just makes me wonder if this is what I want to sign up for.
My father has always told me that the way a man treats you when he’s upset or doesn’t feel like he needs you tells you everything you need to know about the true nature of your relationship with him.
What I saw and what you made me feel… it just makes me wonder if I really want to be here. ”
“I’m not perfect, Lyric. But, I’m sorry. I was wrong. I flipped the fuck out, and I’ve hated myself for it since it happened. I’ve wanted to apologize a million times but shit… too fucking ashamed of my actions and my words. The other night at Luca’s, I didn’t even know where to start.”
“Start here. Any step in the right direction is better than none at all. I’ll never burden you with the idea of perfection because I know that I am far from it. All I’m asking for and have been asking for is a little grace.”
“I need that, too, Lyric.”
“Which is why I called you. Not only did I not want to do this alone, but I knew you deserved that moment in the bathroom with tests lined on the counter as much as I did. At the end of the day, Keanu, I love you to the point of pain. I didn’t realize it ran that deep until every word you spat at me cut me like a knife.
And it wasn’t the reason you were saying them or what you were saying exactly that broke my heart. ”
“It was disappointing you… knowing that I’d played a part in turning you into the intolerable man that you transformed into that day.
For me, that’s such a red flag on my part.
Because why did my love for you override all the unsatisfaction of your actions and focus solely on the fact that I’d been a disappointment for you?
For the last four weeks, I’ve been working on me…
working on that. It simply goes back to my need to be validated from the ones I love most. I have to fix that… fix me.”
“How can I help?”
“Patience. I’ve been asking for it, and I’ll continue. I’m a work in progress.”
“So am I.”
“Then, let’s progress together and remember that – even when we’re frustrated.”
“I can do that.”
“I know you can. So can I.”
“Dinner at eight?” he asked as he pulled into my driveway.
I’d opened the gate as we pulled onto my street.
“Dinner at eight. As long as you promise to keep your hands to yourself.”
When Keanu silenced the engine and stepped out, I wanted to protest his decision to park in plain sight instead of in the garage, but I refrained. If one of my brothers happened to stop by while he was over, it would save me the stress of having to tell them about us. They’d see it for themselves.
“You staying?”
“I need to catch a few Zs before I go kick these niggas asses on the court. I need to walk away with half of both of their portions of the pot. I got diapers and shit to buy, now.” He chuckled, causing me to do the same.
“Besides, I know that’s all you’re about to do.”
“True. True,” I admitted.
I couldn’t wait to get to my bed and hug my pillows. I’d be sleep in a few minutes. That was a fact. I could hardly keep my eyes open for more than a few hours before needing to recharge.
We stepped into my home, greeted by the smell of the tropics. The plug-ins that I’d purchased the day prior were the only ones that didn’t cause gagging. It was a scent that I wasn’t accustomed to but knew that I’d easily adapt.
Keanu followed me up the stairs after locking the door behind us.
I stripped down to my underwear before pulling the covers and sliding into bed.
In only briefs, he slid in right after me.
Once I was comfortable, pillows stuffed under my head and one between my legs, I felt Keanu lower himself until his head aligned with my stomach.
Muah.
Muah.
Muah.
Muah.
One after the other, he kissed around my belly before resting his head on it.
Right there was where he fell asleep minutes later.
Too consumed with my emotions to even close my eyes, I silently thanked God for such a brilliant father for our child.
Though we had many months before the baby was due, I knew that Keanu was fitting for the job.
I woke up alone in bed. There wasn’t a trace of Keanu when I opened my eyes. I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was past four. That could only mean one thing. He was out with the boys playing basketball.
Laike, you’re in last place, I thought as I rolled out of bed and stretched my limbs. A slight pain ran the length of my spine, prompting me to end my stretching prematurely. I journeyed to the bathroom, a hand covering my mouth for the constant yawning I was doing.
It felt like I hadn’t emptied my bladder in months, but in actuality it had only been a few hours. Before leaving my doctor’s appointment, I’d stopped by the restroom. Nevertheless, it felt like a slice of heaven as my urine raced from my body.
Simultaneously, my stomach protested the few hours I’d placed between meals, and suddenly, Keanu’s question resurfaced.
Yes. Now, I was hungry and was ready to eat now and not later.
After finishing up in the bathroom, I redressed in my bedroom.
I wore the same dress that I’d worn to the doctor.
It was simple and easy to pull over my head.
I didn’t feel like wearing pants or finding a matching top.
In only a few minutes, I was downstairs and out of the door. There was one place I had in mind. It didn’t matter that it was getting late in the evening. Maple Berries Brunch House was calling my name. Baisleigh’s would’ve gotten my vote but Maples was closer.
When I was comfortable in my truck and the Bluetooth was connected, I wasted little to no time calling the one person I could hand my dirty laundry and it would never come out of their mouth.
Ever’s line rang continuously before she answered.
I was silently thanking God that she didn’t sound exhausted as she must’ve been after birthing an eight and a half pound boy.
“I’m glad you called. I was thinking about you,” she said as soon as she answered.
“Good things, I hope.”
“Yes. Of course. I just hadn’t heard from you since yesterday and it sounded like you were up in the air about something. I just made a mental note to call you before bed.”
“Well, now you don’t have to. Who’s getting the girls?”
“They’re at your mom and dad’s for the rest of the week and Saturday. Then, my mom will get them on Saturday night for church on Sunday. She’ll bring them back Tuesday when the baby and I are well rested,” she explained.
“Teamwork makes the dream work,” I cheered, “I’ll go by and see them tomorrow. Maybe take them ice skating Saturday. Essence has been talking about getting on the ice.”
“She’d love that.”
“Yeah. She would.”
“So, what’s on your mind, Lyric? I know you, and I know there’s something you’re itching to tell me,” Ever inquired.
“Are you psychic or something?” I chuckled.
“I don’t have to be psychic. I know your heart and it’s troubled.”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted.
Silence covered the line. Then, finally, Ever spoke again.
“This, I knew,” she admitted, “but congratulations on your discovery.”
“How? How’d you know?”
“I just knew, Lyric. Aside from the breakup, there’s just been something different about you. When I saw you the night I had Lucas, it was confirmation for me. The stomach bug you claimed to have, I knew it was a little baby making you feel like you were losing your mind.”
“Mornings are so tough for me, Ever. I’ve been struggling for three days straight. The thought of food is exciting, but even something like the smell of it can make me change my mind. I don’t know how long this stage lasts, but I really hope that it isn’t long.”
“It won’t last very long, usually. Maybe the entire first trimester. You should be fine by the second one. Does he know?”
“Yes. He bought the tests the night I came over after Lucas was born. Six. All six said the same thing. He scheduled an appointment for us at his aunt’s office and we went there this morning.”
“Awwwwww. How was it?”
“Emotional. But I found out I am seven weeks and two days. We even heard the baby’s heartbeat and got some pictures of the little thing floating in my stomach.”