Chapter 20
TWENTY
Is this what it feels like to be heartbroken with utter happiness?
I wondered as I stared back at my reflection in the mirror.
It had been almost six months since the loss of our child and I was still trying to pick up the pieces.
There were still so many unanswered questions and so many new thoughts that arose daily.
Most times I wondered if I was digging myself out of the hole I’d been in for weeks and weeks or digging myself deeper. Other days I felt the progress I was making but the happiness I experienced was always overshadowed by the darkness of that day. It was so unexpected and so fucking heartbreaking.
Naturally, my hand rubbed my flat belly.
There was no doubt about it. I deeply, truly wanted the child that I’d lost. Had it survived whatever my body was putting its little body through then I’d be halfway along my pregnancy now, glowing and growing.
But, here I was, sitting at my vanity with visible abs and a chiseled midsection. I’d never despised it so much.
“Baby.” Keanu’s voice startled me.
After a quick gasp and the maneuvering of my hand to my chest, I turned in his direction.
“Hi,” I said to him, admiring his handsome face.
Keanu never allowed me to linger for too long these days. If ever I was quiet for extended periods or seemingly lost in my thoughts while around him, he was quick to pull me back into our space. It was one that I’d grown to love over the last few months.
With the veil removed from our relationship, the freedom that I felt was incredible. It was almost as incredible as the man that I’d chosen secrecy for. But, I wasn’t sure if anything could top Keanu.
He was my breath of fresh air. He was my new beginning. He was my redemption. He was my heart… and soul. The way he catered to and cared for me, even when I couldn’t do so myself, was immeasurable. I loved him widely and deeply for it, too.
Together, we’d worked to get through the loss of our child while also working through the kinks of our relationship. Neither of us were perfect. This we’d always known. Though our imperfections meshed well, we knew that it was important to iron out the kinks if we wanted our love to succeed.
“Almost ready?” He asked, stepping into the room a bit deeper.
“I am.”
My breath hiked in my chest as he neared me. Keanu wasn’t the safest to be around when we were in a crunch for time and had to be out of the door within minutes. He was a menace and cared nothing about the world beyond us when his eyes were on the prize. My prize.
“What are you doing?” I asked, sighing as he approached me.
The hunger in his eyes, I recognized it.
I was most familiar with it because it was a direct reflection of his craving and it happened to be me.
While the thought was exhilarating, it was simultaneously scary.
Because, when Keanu started, he could hardly ever stop.
Settling himself was as much of a challenge for him as it was for me to climb off of him once I got on top.
We were both lost causes which was why I didn’t want whatever was in his head to come to fruition. We’d never make it out of the house and we’d never make it to Oat + Olive. Our night would end in each other’s arms. While I was okay with that, the people waiting for us probably wouldn’t be.
“Stand up,” he insisted, pulling my right hand upward to assist.
I rose, slowly, from the fur bench of my vanity.
It was a gift from Keanu a few months ago when we finally transformed his bachelor’s pad into a home that we both continued falling in love with.
I had a full room to myself that housed my never-ending makeup collection and served as my closet. It was my little piece of peace.
Keanu rarely entered and always made sure to stock it with the best of everything he could get his hands on.
I thought I was the one who had it bad, but it was him who couldn’t stay offline or out of the stores buying anything he imagined my eyes would sparkle for.
I was swimming in a sea of clothing, shoes, and accessories that I was wondering if I’d ever even get the chance to wear.
“Turn around.”
I twirled in the mini skirt that I paired with a top that was cut in every way imaginable.
The threads were barely holding my boobs in place and shielding them from the public.
The wrap could be worn so many different ways and went so well with the pleated skirt that barely covered my ass.
On my feet, I wore boots that ended at my thighs and were made with a thick lace that gave my legs room to breathe in the August heat.
There was a cut-out for my toes that showcased my classic white pedicure.
I imagined he wanted me to do a full 360, but when I stopped in front of the mirror, he stopped me. His hands lowered to my waist and halted my movement. I stared back at his long, fit frame through the glass and slowly sealed my lids as I felt his fingers glide across my skin.
The parts of my stomach that were exposed, he caressed. Then, my arms. Then, my sides. Then my neck. Then, my chest. The open air brushed against my nipples, hardening them as I felt the gravitational pull cause them to drop from underneath the fabric that held them in place. Keanu had freed them.
At the realization, my eyes opened wide and my gaze became fixated on him through the mirror. I watched as his long, slim fingers cupped each breast with my pebbled nipples resting in his palms. We’re perfect, I freed the thought from deep within.
My view was obstructed when his right hand wrapped around my neck and he forced my head backward. Keanu lowered his neck until our lips touched. The slight pressure he applied to my neck made me pool the thong that I was wearing.
“I love the shit out of you, Lyric. You know that?” Through gritted teeth, he asked.
“Yes,” I responded, breathlessly.
He let me go at once and flipped the skirt that I wore above my ass.
I could feel the stickiness of my underwear and impatiently waited for him to remove them.
Instead, I heard the thin fabric tear. I clenched my pussy muscles and milked it of everything it had to offer upon hearing the beautiful sound.
Keanu always struggled with the decision to fuck me with my panties on or off.
He’d made his choice very clear, tonight.
Between staring at us in the mirror and marveling over the sight of us, I lost my way.
But, Keanu quickly reminded me of the task at hand when he forced my body forward and smiled at me through the mirror.
As quickly as his cheeks rose, they fell.
That hunger in his eyes returned and so did the seriousness of the man that I was set to marry in two months.
“Bend that shit over,” he demanded.
Obliging, without hesitation, I spread my legs a little wider and bent over until my chest rested on the vanity.
I opened for him, ready to accept Keanu into my world for the millionth time.
Over the course of our relationship, I’d lost count of how many times we’d made love.
But, each time seemed to elevate our love and deepen our connection.
My love for Keanu surpassed anything I’d ever considered.
I’d easily live and I’d easily die for this man.
What felt so good is that I knew that he’d do the same for me just as easily.
He was my twin flame. Our souls were entangled.
Keanu was my daily dose of medicine in this fucked up world.
There was nothing I wouldn’t do for him. I knew it and so did he.
Our love was unconditional… the kind I’d always wanted and was afraid I’d never find.
But, all along, it was right there. It was almost heartwrenching, the fact that I’d been through so much and put my family through so much when the solution to my problem was always right there. Keanu was always right there.
He patted my pussy from behind with his thick tool. I could hear my sliminess as it lubricated his dick. When I couldn’t take any more of his teasing, I reached behind me and wrapped my fingers around his length. He tried to pull away, but he wasn’t quick enough.
“Put that motherfucker in, then,” he said in a low rasp that made my mouth water.
As much as I wanted him to fill the walls of my pussy, I wanted to taste him on my tongue.
But, because I still wanted to get to Oat + Olive, I settled for the time being.
When we returned, though, I wanted my man as deep down my throat as possible.
I wanted to be coughing up balls by the time he finished shoving his dick between my jaws.
“Mmmmmmmmmmm.”
The most divine connection ever made was ours.
Keanu fit so perfectly inside of me that it was a difficult task to remove him once he’d gotten comfortable in his cubby.
I didn’t mind a bit because whenever we finished, I’d be left with a void that remained until he entered me again.
That hollowness was always felt, even if only for a few hours until we collided again.
“Fuck, this pussy wet,” he called out.
With strokes as commanding as his, a body as sexy as his, pockets as deep as his, a love as encompassing as his, and a face as fine as his, I wasn’t sure why Keanu thought my pussy would be anything but soaking wet for him.
My mind, heart, soul, and body were in sync, and could all agree that he deserved the waterworks that I gave each time he slid into me.
Death strokes.
Deaf strokes.
I referred to them as both because while he was administering them, the ringing in my ears tuned out everything around me except the words that fell from his lips and the sounds our connection made.
And, death to any man’s attempts to pursue anything with me because once I got a whiff of Keanu’s capabilities, they were all dead to me.