Chapter 28
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
Elijah
I couldn’t make any excuses for myself about my actions. That lady was right, my behavior was alarming. Embarrassment had sent my appetite packing. All I could do was wait for Kainda to get back and stew in my own feelings.
The spell had definitely worked, and I didn’t feel like I was spinning out of control anymore. This was a good thing, and I should be happy, but Kainda. Ever since the spell, she’d been off. Ever since the spell! Something changed during or after the spell to upset her. But what?
A few minutes later, she came back to the car with two bags. One looked full of bottles and the other snacks. She opened the back door, dumped the drinks into the cooler, and put the bag of snacks on top of it. Her shoulders and back didn’t seem as rigid as before. Either something I’d said had gotten through or the stranger making her laugh had been a miracle drug.
Neither of us said anything for a few minutes as we got back on the road. I couldn’t figure out what had happened to upset her. Did she not want the spell to work? That didn’t make sense, though. She could’ve never mentioned it or cast it, for that matter. So something else had triggered it.
Had she seen something else in my head that had upset her? Not sure what it could’ve been, there was nothing worse than my time with Uttu lurking in my memories or past. She’d seen every excruciating detail of my captivity and hadn’t batted an eye, so that didn’t fit either. Not knowing drove me crazy, because if I didn’t know, I couldn’t at least attempt to fix it. Right about now, I’d love to catch a stray thought or emotion from her to give me a clue.
Come to think of it, I hadn’t caught anything from her in over an hour. Odd because until today, I’d catch something, even if I couldn’t pinpoint what it was, every few minutes. Looks like the effects of the previous spells had finally worn off. Funny, I shouldn’t miss it, but I did. This meant she couldn’t pick anything up from me either, and I’d relied on that connection to tell her the things I couldn’t say out loud for fear she’d bolt.
I tried to remember the last thing I’d picked up from her mind. She’d felt nervous before bringing up the spell, afraid of my reaction. Then during the spell I’d felt her self disgust just before she said the word spiders. But afterward, nothing. Huh?
Could the loss of that small connection, that she claimed to hate, really have caused this shift with her? I guess there was one way I could find out. She might follow through with her earlier threat and tie me up and put me in the trunk. I could take that risk because if the lost link was the catalyst then it told me, she felt something for me, despite what she claimed vocally. Here goes nothing, everything.
“I think the psychic connection that lingered after the other spells has finally broken.” From the corner of my eye, I saw her shoulders tense up and her jaw lock. “It’s sad, I’m going to miss knowing what you’re feeling. Especially since you won’t tell me yourself.”
Her fingers paled on the steering wheel from the force of her grip. “It didn’t break, nor is it gone. I can still sense it, but it's closed off now.”
“What do you mean by closed off?”
She hit the turn signal and turned, taking the turn off as the navigation cut into our conversation. “I guess when I taught you how to box up your anxiety and used my psychic shields to keep the connection during the spell, your mind learned a new trick. You’ve blocked yourself from projecting. Which is a good thing, you need good psychic shields around some of the creatures we’ll encounter at base camp.”
“If it’s such a good thing, why are you upset?” I might’ve just backed her into a corner, forcing her to acknowledge her feelings.
As if on cue, her grip tightened on the steering wheel, I could hear the sound of skin squeezing against leather. “You smug, asshole. You’re going to make me say it out loud even though you already know the answer.”
I laughed because I was right. Because she had finally made a concession, an admission. The way she said it, hilarious. Now that I knew the answer, I just had to figure out how to put the pieces together to solve the problem. Somehow I didn’t think she’d agree to help me, despite wanting the connection.
“Oh, absolutely, and I’m going to enjoy every minute of this victory.”
The response I got, a middle finger as she took another turn. “I’m so going to pay you back for this. That’s a promise, E.”
“You can collect your payment at any time.” I enjoyed this way too much. “Now, say it, Kainda. Or should I call you?—”
Her hand clapped over my mouth. “No nickname. I can’t believe this is what my life has come to. May the gods give me strength. I miss the connection, there I said it. Happy now? Don’t answer that, I don’t want to hear you gloat.”
Reaching up, I peeled her hand away and threaded our fingers together before resting them on the center console. I didn’t have to gloat out loud to still feel a thousand feet tall. Her hand stayed limp in mine like a dead fish handshake without the movement. She glanced down at them, then back up to me.
“I don’t do holding hands. Oh, gross, let go. Seriously, I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth.” She tugged on her hand, and I finally showed her mercy by letting go. “The goddess does have mercy.”
Before I could say anything else, the navigation system once again interrupted us. Its little electronic voice felt like nails on a chalk board as it informed us we’d arrived at our destination. A cold sweat broke out all over my body, and the fun from seconds before vanished like they never existed. Looking out the window, I almost expected to see Uttu waltzing out of the trees. But no one did, demon or otherwise.
Kainda pulled into a small space concealed by bushes and trees, just big enough for her car to fit. My heart raced, but the suffocation stayed at bay. Was it too late to change my mind and go home? She put the car in park and shut off the engine, watching me from the corner of her eye. I could feel her gaze on me, and I knew she worried I’d fall apart. Makes two of us.
“I’m right here with you. She has to go through me to get to you, and I won’t let her win. Let’s get the essentials and get on the move around the mountain. We’ll get the rest tomorrow when we have more daylight.” Kainda patted my thigh before climbing out of the car.
Deep breath in, slow exhale out. My mental pep talk proved a little lacking, the words just wouldn’t come. Instead, I sat there, still buckled, not making any moves to get out. I just needed another minute to mentally prepare myself. But no amount of time would ever get me comfortable or confident enough to march head first into this. Rip the bandage off, Elijah.